Me too

Ray sighed, justifying that he had excellent reasons.

And in war and the art of conquest... Well, he was willing to win.

Many women kept silent in cases like this out of shame. Fear of the abuser. Fear because of power relationships. And some are not willing to talk about it with anyone. And a lot goes through the head of someone who has suffered the violence of this kind.

He was a man experienced enough to recognize that Elisabeth was confused. Confused by her feelings. The same way she was attracted and could be magically out of reach. And reporting is never easy. And worst of all was the situation itself. Discouragement in police stations. There were endless cases of complaints about service at the police stations and also the incentive to give up the police record.

It was no different with Elisabeth, who at the beginning had lost count of what she had tried to report. The time it takes to register a police report and the act of a victim being threatened.

It could be a specialized or common police station.

There was always the incentive to discourage and the imbecility to romanticize a sadist wretch. After a lot of confusion, she'd gotten a protective measure to keep the scoundrel lone. And in practice? Oh, it works so differently. She was still getting messages. Messages that she could be raped. Messages that could be killed...

Facing the negligence of authorities. How many police officers didn't say the same thing after all? She won't be the first nor the last woman to go through this.

And it's a different routine. Routine of threats, aggressions and rapes experienced... These are statistics that sometimes are not even part of a police record due to the difficulty.

Complaints can be made by e-mail, letters and even by phone, but women are always discouraged from defending their rights. Some ex-partners simply do not accept the end of the relationship and insist that the relationship continues. Elisabeth had run away from that hell for ten years. She avoided in the most brusque ways any kind of approach. The official registration and screening... It's even more unfortunate when the victim is encouraged not to complain and is treated with disdain by an official who is also a woman. Someone who has gained the position of the power to make a difference and prefers to close his eyes, laughing saying it's just a couple's fight. A couple that hasn't existed for ten years.

Lack of evidence. Usually, threats like this occur within four walls within the intimacy of the couple. There are never witnesses. It's the kind of perfect crime that leaves no trace of a criminal. Single protocol for care, prioritizing and humanizing the situation of a fragile woman... It doesn't always work despite training courses to assist victims of domestic violence.

There is also a lack of resources and police in this area working. Some still think that it is better to reduce complaints than incidence cases. Well, they are just insults and threats. What's the problem? It's just women.

Crimes of bodily harm, threats and crimes against honour, such as slander, slander and defamation... That's all. Nothing else. Not for a victim who asked for help, she was mocked at the police station and had no assistance. And insults and threats are just the tip of the iceberg in violence against women. They are considered minor crimes. A victim who does not find support in justice to get a defence may think a lot. In some cases, it takes years to give the first cry for help. The situation of financial dependence creates bonds of slavery. A cruel and inhuman lord. There's nothing wrong with a woman's vision. A black eye, with a bloody mouth and a bath towel, to stanch the bleeding.

Are you going to report it?" Doesn't it depend on him economically?" And the asshole story of a repentant ex-partner? There is no greater idiocy in the world. Not for a victim who would rather die than breathe the same air as the abuser. These are cases that the simple fact of being a woman justifies the position of a murder victim. Femicides.

It is the resistance at the time of registering the report of physical or psychological violence that causes the death of innocent women. Women who screamed for help in a public organ and heard jokes. The correct thing is to record a sequence of aggressions, especially in cases of rape, when there is one. Now, it's hard enough to get a policeman who doesn't discourage a record of the first occurrence. Imagine a sequence. There are always several violations in a specialized police station like this. Impatience. A clerk who barely listens or a social worker who thinks it's funny and perfectly normal for a woman to be assaulted. And psychological violence... Ah, that's never a crime for them. There are laughs and jokes all around.

Femicides are homicides that should and can be avoided. A victim needs health, education and social assistance. And a job to empower himself and escape the clutches of a damn bum who likes to threaten and beat women. At first, Elisabeth did not get the protective measure right away. His family was all over the place trying to get close. It is the experience of living as a couple that becomes the hell of a woman who knows the routine of being beaten and of threats and abuse in addition to harassment. And the aggressor thinks it's normal. He expects affection and love.

There is always a default behaviour. First and take the victim's cell phone. And women like that often cannot wait for the law to slow down and flee. And there is no way to ask for a protective measure if the aggression took place elsewhere. But the persecution of the aggressor makes it impossible to register. There is no support network. There is a gear spring to the police station, forum, prosecutor, health and job vacancies that do not work. Kicks, slaps and punches are allowed, just don't leave a mark on the body.

In worse cases, there is a temporary accommodation for victims in cases of imminent death. There is a world that is normal for normal people and an abuser walks freely while the victim is at his mercy. Fear is the only certainty. Or a pepper spray or knife for self-defence use in the bag in case the attacker approaches after the threats. The Maria da Pena Law in Brazil had not worked very well.

Elisabeth had survived by finding help abroad. She worked early on publishing works for publishers before finally leaving the country.

Author's Note:

"In some states, it is possible to request a protective measure online, through the Virtual Police Station. The Human Rights Brazil application also allows for virtual reporting. There is also the option of calling 180, a line that advises the offended, records and forwards domestic violence reports to the competent body. Apr. 20, 2022"- Google

It doesn't always work in practice at the police station. I know. I've been there twice already.