Desperate

Shocked, she doesn't give any reaction except that she breathes. He gets up from the ground, grabs her shoulder, to relax her body on the bed again. The chain comes out of his hand. Doctor Riva. Follow the stone with your eyes, so that her pupils go back and forth without feeling as if she's not the one who's moving. She attacks the doctor to lay down. Her hand on his neck and hitting him on the ground with wide eyes trying to untie himself He talks in a voice that almost comes out of his throat Riva What are you doing Then one of the nurses comes in and takes her away from him She gives her a sedative needle to sleep She carries her to her bed Talking to Louis Are you okay Talking Yes Thank you for getting up Then he takes the chain and gets out of the room in The next morning, that doctor didn't open the door. As usual, Riva sits on the bed with cold eyes, hears a voice in her ear. Look, Riva. Where is that? Where is that doctor who pretends to help you? Another voice speaks how he'll come back and I tried to kill him You told him what you did Your most awful truths You spoke Riva: It doesn't matter. Let everyone know what I did. Yes, I killed my father because of my mental disorder. I told them about it. I told them that I feel something strange about me. I said I hear voices in my mind, but they ignored me, saying that you are hallucinating, Yareva, that they deserve their death. They neglected me from the beginning. Where are you? Why do I no longer hear your voice? Why do you blame me for everything? It was as if all this started with me. Where are you? A black person sitting in front of her is talking. What, Yariva? Aren't you the one who regrets that he killed his parents? Aren't you the one who started cutting himself and cutting his veins? What now? Are you complaining if you are completely satisfied with what you have done why if you did this to us why did you sit screaming and crying why did you talk about their death in your mind why do you accept your life and live satisfied with what you did your soul had no fault in living your pain yareva speaks yes my soul had no fault but if I didn't waste it All my wounds and afflictions who will I put them Who will bear me out loud It's okay I still flounder between the wall of the past and the wall of the future It's okay I still put everything inside me Even though it no longer carries all that chaos that I'm okay I still torture my soul more than ever I am I apologize to her with my sincerest apologies to myself. I know that she is no longer able to carry the mess that I put her in. I know that every day I carry you what is higher than your ability to bear in a calm voice, and despite all those wounds, I hope you carry me shortly so that you can get rid of me, speaking Riva of your soul. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . She is no longer able to bear m Your soul has faded and gone to ashes a long time ago She honestly can't take it any more So there is nothing left but to rest yourself Yariva All that remains is to come and we are not rest Look Yariva outside The sun has set and its light is gone So I beg you also to set From this world as soon as possible and then disappears to come back alone again without light Even: sitting in the corner of the room on her bed crying and then muttering It's okay I'm in that corner one more time I sit and sigh as if I take my last breath talking to myself And the darkness surrounding me fills my books and papers with smiles And laughter, but in that corner surrounded by darkness, there are a lot of sorrows, crying, voices that are trapped inside me, and screams that no one hears. In the end, I am a game in the hand of life, but this time the pain is over from my heart. It seems to have started in my mind. I am tired of sending commands to my body, my mind that is filled with the sounds of my soul scattered, my mind that is bored of me and gave me someone from myself to torment me or in fact not my self that looks like me torturing me and that I build every night and every time I bend down with crying I'm really tired Tired of myself and my truth when When will that time come and I die When will it be thrown on the dirt When will I go down into that big pit in which is my destiny When will I rest from all this trouble and fatigue Who will come one day and cry at my grave But a voice in her mind speaks Hey Yereva Do you have that person who He will bury dirt on your grave first, until someone comes and weeps over him, but from Yareva, when he knows my hideous truth, he will forgive you. Take a risk, everything is beautiful to me. Yes, you are right. They will bless themselves for the death of a person like me. It is true that even my feelings want comfort from me or about myself. I have become scattered pieces like paper on which rainwater fell hard and crumbled. Yes, you are right. Is there someone throwing dirt on me until there is someone crying: The darkness of that night began with Rifa crying and her rising moan. The day of the next day was not better. It was all despair, crying, sadness, a weary soul and remorse of conscience. All that was left of her alive was blame and sadness. And with that evening, there was no day left in Riva's eyes, any tears that became under her eyes red tending to the color of blood. Mixed with the color of black as you sleep those nights under those desperate eyes and that pale face but it's a silhouette, for she is still sitting in her place and those voices in her mind blow up any idea with comfort, even a little relaxation, Rifa remained like this until the morning of the third day, whose sun was gone because of dark clouds that covered a light that was Illuminating the whole world A black person is talking Have you seen Yariva Even the biggest lights in the world have given out their radiant yellow light A sad iod cloud Even in the middle of the light there is a blind spot A point of dark gloomy darkness Suddenly the door to that room opens The doctor Good morning Yariva I'm sorry I didn't come from Before you turn to look at him you see that there are some bruises on his neck Reeva If I am the cause of this thing on your neck Doctor I'm really sorry He sits on the chair It's okay Reeva It's not because of you There are a lot of people here I help them Don't apologize Well he smiles and then talks I'm from He should apologize, Yareva, I left you two days like this without me coming or seeing what's wrong with you, sorry Riva, it doesn't matter, after I knew my truth, how in the first place could you come with a surprised confirmation of what I heard so far the doctor It's okay we all have mistakes Yareva Life doesn't go without learning what What we did, it's a big thing, I know what you're going to say, but fate is the one who wanted to do this to you, you have no guilt, I'm sure you would have done this if you found someone who cared for you from the beginning, isn't that trying to talk? It's okay, Yareva, because you have to gather yourself. A little bit because you're going to smile again I'm talking I don't want to smile I want to die somewhere far away from the world so they never know me Talking No you're going to that place to relax and get all that negativity out of your mind with a smile Well she turns her face to him Shocked talking Riva Have you never slept?You talk no How can I sleep Talking ok I'll give you something that will make you sleep so you can rest a little OK Reeva I don't want this I want a glass of water The doctor lost OK Reeva to go outside to get a glass of water and then he comes and talk Come on yareva talk thanks You drink the water and then put the glass on the table Next to her bed and between her and herself she talks Even this cup is plastic No one can kill himself Doctor Well Yariva I left you for two days May I know what happened with you Talking Aren't you going to follow your actions with hypnosis Talking We don't need this anymore Yariva Now tell me what happened to you Talking with a curved face Nothing I had a struggle with myself and lost some of my body parts more than before and lost the battle again Nothing talking Well, Yereva You tried with yourself Why don't you try with me What if then it will differ Will you give me back my parts and my burnt soul Doctor Little by little Yereva I will do all this for you but I want you If you help me, it is ok. I will ask you, Yareva, why do you want to die so much, why do you seek it so much, you talk to me, I want comfort, because I am tired of losing myself more, I have become a person without feelings of ego, I have done nothing in my life except for the mistake, and I did not learn from it that I see The hand of comfort and I didn't give it to myself I want peace and I didn't give it to my body I want happiness and all I did was moan and cry and scream and blame myself for all my mistakes I really want to smile and I can't do this Speaks Yariva Happy is not the one who smiles from his heart but the one who is convinced that not all people Comfortable, those eyes shed tears after two days of difficulties, with many crying and successive gasps in a faint voice, placing her hand on her head.