Chapter 4:

Lilith’s Pov: Fun-fact: Lilith is a cancer

I am one of the most rational people I know. I always take decisions that are beneficial to me or harmless.

I even go by the motto: 'face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be.' I know, boring right?

Everyone has their own meaning of happiness. Some may find it in the simplest of things or some wish to make their own and some find it in the comfort of their homes.

For me, school and work are everything. yes, I'm serious. Some people seriously hate going to school but school is my shelter. I can't go to sleep without finishing my homework for next Tuesday. It became an addiction.

The celestial academy is one of the most prestigious academies of all. Only one in a thousand people get in every year. It's filled with all kinds of people: rich. smart, famous, artistic, and bratty.

I'm one of the few students who got in with the entrance exam. That's why I want to keep a low profile. People will start to pick on me. As long as I'm around May I'll always be the center of attention.

It doesn't mean I hate her. It's just..exhausting to be around her. It has been like this since elementary. This year was going to be no different. After grandma died everything seems a lot more chaotic. I need to see a doctor, I thought.

But sometimes even though we know it's fake we do some things all the time. It's our coping mechanism. It helps us escape reality. I know this is completely irrelevant. But that is why I believed in certain things even though I knew they didn't exist. Like magic and fairies and dragons, they are very real to me.

I’ve taken a lot of things in my life lightly. I dusted the weight off my shoulder and the pain eases easily. People often come and give me pity face when they come to help me or offer me something. I find that very annoying. To be honest, it’s ok this way, I don’t need anyone. I have a sufficient number of people in my life and I’m not willing to lose anyone in my life. So I keep quiet. I keep quiet and observe the people around me.

I had this tingling feeling whenever they 'felt bad for me'. I knew most of them don't really mean it. But I'm not mad at them since most of them just follow the others even though they don't know me well enough. It's the people who stick with me I'm talking about.

My troublesome Beth and my crush James for example, have given me the cold shoulder ever since the tragedy. They often ignore me and try not to get in a conversation with me. That is, however, very annoying and downhearted.

I remember when I was 12 the teacher asked me to tell me something I’m good at and I said I’m good at sensing people. The teacher took it as a joke but then realized I was serious. I still remember her words ringing in my mind: ‘Honey you can’t be good at sensing, only animals can do that!'

From that day whenever someone asked me what I’m good at I just say that I am good at reading and playing the piano. to be honest, my grandmother taught me to play the piano as well since my mom can't 'afford to pay for my piano classes but she can afford to send her daughter to college.

After her death, nothing seemed right. Everything was dark. I’m confined in this very town, no matter how hard I try. it’s a curse. I tried to leave town for another school, but the scholarship was canceled.

I researched in the library that day. I studied the book 'Auraology for beginners.' by some woman who claims she has powers as such. And I discovered that all the strange things happening around me isn't just a coincidence.

I figured that the journal contains information about my powers. I couldn't believe my eyes. But it's true.

I'm a psychic.

The funeral was very madness. With my newfound power, I can literally see what they are feeling. I found a chart with all kinds of colors of energy that a person emits and I borrowed the book with me.

The whole town was there to see her. Uncle Henry and other close friends of grandma and my mother were there. Most of the people had no aura surrounding them. It means they feel nothing.

The next day was even worse. There were eulogies and brief prayers given before burying her dead body.

I looked around at the glass coffin. Even after her death, she seemed calm. She seemed relieved. She is dead. The very thought of that makes me cry. But the memories will never fade away and the pain will never heal. Sometimes it’s hard to accept it. Denying is easier. I learned that from my mother.

Life was less miserable when she was around. But now she's not there. little white balls were still floating around her corpse which was remains of her purity and wisdom. I shed a tear looking at her peaceful state.

'rest in peace grandma' I whispered.

Alas, grief is the price you pay for love. If that’s the price you pay for loving someone, why do I keep doing it again and again?

I always feel left alone. I’m the lone tree now. All the trees next to me were cut down and the forest is empty, just like my heart.

But don't worry. I will nurture this power inside me. I will be an animal if that's what it takes to find what you left me.

Why didn't she tell anything about my powers earlier?

Or did she?

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