CHAPTER 3: THE REUNION

THE GIRL WHO CAN’T DATE

By Eleventh

CHAPTER 3: THE REUNION

“Sometimes I don’t understand why we can’t have a peaceful morning. Or did we have and I just forgot because it was too rare? Sigh! Sometimes it’s tiring to argue you know!” – Ira P.

2017 JOURNAL

AT THE REUNION

Ira hates reunions like how kids hate vegetables but forced to take them because adults tell them it’s good. And this is the reason why.

“Mageneo!!! Oh, my darling brother!!!”

A joyful greeting welcomed Mr. Pardilla from a skinny woman in her fifties. She was loud and bright, even brighter in her skimpy gold dress, gold shoes, and gold accessories.

“Lucy! How are you?” Mr. Pardilla pat his sister’s back when she wrapped him with a big embrace.

“Still single but gorgeous than everrrr!” She’s so sassy and very extroverted. It was too much to handle for the Pardilla siblings who were mostly introverts. At the sight of her brother’s children, Lucy gasped with her face illuminating with bliss. “Oh my!!! You’re all grown-ups! Aww! I miss you, kids!!!”

Lucy rained them with warm hugs and sloppy kisses which they instantly wiped off from their face, especially Ares who’s very germ-conscious. They tried to hide their disgust as their elated aunt was trying to welcome them.

“What’s wrong with this woman? Why is she always surprised to see us? We meet every year!” Orion whispered.

“Shut your mouth!” Eros, who’s trying to keep his cool, chided.

“Oh my goodness! You grew up pretty well! Look at those handsome faces!” Lucy grabbed each of the boys’ faces and examined every detail of their good-looking faces. “Ugh! Your mother has good genes!”

Despite his sister’s snide remark, Mr. Pardilla grinned and stayed calm. “I’m pretty happy that I get to see my wife’s beauty in my children. They all look like Lyxyn.”

“But at least they had your charm and wits! Isn’t that right?”

“And we had his good nature too,” When Ira spoke, the boys panicked hoping that she won’t pick a fight. “He’s very patient, gentle, and kind, and he does not give mean comments even if some people looked like a brainless wench.”

Lucy was quite taken aback. She slowly turned around to see who lashed her out. “And who are you again?”

Lucy stepped closer to Ira and scrutinized her from head to toe. Checking her out for a few seconds, she grimaced, can’t hide her disgust with Ira’s lousy look – floral a-line dress topped with a black hoodie and paired with black leather boots.

“And what are you wearing?”

The boy can feel that Ira was getting pissed off. They saw her clenching her fists so they quickly but subtly took her hands and placed them inside the pocket of her hoodie.

“I’m no one important and what I wear is none of your business,” Ira said with a straight face.

“You’ve got a sharp tongue, girl!” Lucy folded her arms.

“I know. People always tell me that.”

Lucy was trying to recall who she was because she was definitely sure that Ira looked familiar. Seconds later. Lucy gasped when she finally recognized her niece. “Wait a minute! Are you.. are you Ira? Ira Bear? Oh, I am so sorry I did not recognize you, darling. I… uhm, it’s just that… you…”

“I know! I don’t look like my brothers at all. I get that all the time too.” Ira strained a smile. She was smiling, but secretly, she wanted to pull her Aunt’s hair.

“Yeah. They’re probably right, riiiight? Anyway, surely you’re not the adopted one because, to be honest, you and my mom look so alike. In other words, you got my brother’s genes.” Then she laughed hysterically.

The Pardilla didn’t move a muscle. Are they supposed to laugh? Because it’s either they don’t get the joke or she’s not funny at all. Then, suddenly, Usher giggled. He seemed to have felt the awkward tension.

Lucy noticed him. Then, she leaned forward to Ares and whispered. “Hey! Is that the kid? The one you…”

“Aunt Lucy, thank you for your warm welcome. I think we should go to our seats.” Ares had a knack for cutting off people especially when he can tell what they’re about to say and knows that he won’t like it. Ares has the most intimidating aura among them. Lucy can tell that he is not pleased so she let them go.

“Yeah! Sure! Go! Please be seated.”

Walking to their table, Ira did nothing but complain.

“Ugh! I really hate that wench!”

“Hey! Mind your words, Ira Bear!” Eros scolded his sister. “I know she’s annoying, but don’t call her like that. She’s still Pops’ sister and our aunt. Okay?”

“Yes, Ira! We have to show her some respect.” Ares agreed.

“But, dude! Did you see how she slurred Pops?” Orion added, siding with Ira. “It’s like every reunion she gives unnecessary comments.”

“She even tried to say something about Usher too!” Ira combed Usher’s hair who was innocently looking at the decorative lights hanging on the ceiling.

“I understand how you feel.” Ares fogged his eyeglasses and wiped them with his handkerchief. “But if we want to show everyone here that Pops had raised us well, we have to act appropriately. After all, I believe we are all educated enough not to make a scene. Right?”

While his children were ranting about his sister, Mr. Pardilla chuckled.

Ira raised her right eyebrow. “Aren’t you even insulted, Pops?”

“Nope!” Mr. Pardilla quickly shook his head smilingly. “I’m fine! I’m used to Lucy and her tactlessness.”

Ira rolled her eyeballs and folded her arms. “Ugh! I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to her.”

“Uhm, Ira… look!” Orion warned his sister.

A huge plump woman was walking towards Ira beaming with delight, arms wide open. The moment Ira saw her aunt, her face crumpled like paper. Then she cried, ‘Oh no’ because her nightmare is about to begin.

“Ira Beaaar!” her aunt greeted her with a big hug. She was too strong that she even lifted Ira from her seat. “I am so happy to see you!”

“Ha-ha! I can tell, Aunt Marge!”

Aunt Marge, the 60-year old widow, is Mr. Pardilla’s eldest sister. She adores Ira so much because she doesn’t have a daughter. And apart from the fact that Ira is the youngest female in the Pardilla clan, Aunt Marge is very close to her brother, Mageneo.

Seconds later after the warm, long embrace, Aunt Marge excused Ira from her family. “Come with me! Everyone is waiting for you!”

Then, Aunt Marge dragged her to the next table where her other aunts are gathered. As she was leaving, she mouthed the words ‘help’, but her brothers waved at her instead. She felt betrayed. They knew she hated this, being surrounded and harassed with questions. But she can’t get away with it. She is her relatives’ favorite cup of tea.

“Ladieees! Look who’s here!” Aunt Marge proclaimed.

“OMG! Iraaa! Hiii!” Honey, one of her cousins, greeted her with a kiss while holding her pregnant belly.

Ira’s eyes grew big. She didn’t expect her cousin to be pregnant.

“Oh, hiii! You’re pregnant. I didn’t know you were married.” Realizing that it sounded rude and that she shouldn’t have asked that, Ira bit her lip.

Thankfully, Honey wasn’t upset. She still answered Ira with a smile. “I had a civil wedding with Robert.”

“Oh? Alright! Cool! Are you due soon?”

“Nearly!

“Oh wow! Congratulations!” Ira grimaced, feeling uncomfortable because Honey’s tummy looked like it’s gonna pop soon.

Then another aunt came to her for a greeting. She was pregnant too. “Ira! Nice to see you!”

“Hi, Aunt Mary!” Ira kissed Aunt Mary on the cheeks. “I see you’re pregnant too. So is getting pregnant a thing these days?”

Everyone chuckled.

Aunt Marge gently pulled Ira to sit in the middle where the ladies hovered excitingly around her. Trying not to be rude, Ira put on a smile when she faced them. Everyone was present at that table - her father’s sisters, sisters-in-law, and closest cousins.

And the interrogations begin.

“So, Ira! How are you?”

“Ira, how have you been?”

“Ira, how’s life at home with all men?

“Ira, how’s work?”

“Ira, are you still working in a private school?”

“Ira! Ira! Ira! Ira! Ira! Ira!”

Ira felt like her ears are going to explode anytime soon because of the spontaneous questions everyone is throwing. She tried to keep the conversation short by asking the questions briefly until she had to face the most dread question.

“Uhm, Ira!” her cousin Leila coughed. “How old are you again?”

“25.”

“So you must be in a relationship already. Right?” Leila leaned in closer, excited to hear a story from her cousin.

Ira awkwardly shook her head that made everyone gasped.

“Whaaat? Why?” Aunt Marge exclaimed holding a glass of wine which she took from a waiter who passed her by.

“I haven’t been thinking about it.”

“Why not? You’re already 25, dear!” Aunt Mary added after taking a sip of wine. “I was your age when I got married.”

“I was 21 when I met my Leo. We got married when we were 23.” Aunt Marge’s sister-in-law shared.

“Wait! Let’s not pressure her! Perhaps, she’s still dating.” Honey spoke up caressing her big tummy. Everyone kept quiet and looked at Ira, waiting for an answer. When she shook her head, they all shrieked.

“Oh my gawd, Ira! Go out and date someone, please!” Honey suddenly felt so frustrated for her cousin that she took back what she said about not to pressure her.

“I’m sorry but I’m not into dating and I don’t think anyone would like to date me.” Ira cowered and bit her lower lip when she said what she said.

Leila looked at Ira in the eyes and said, “Ira! You are pretty and smart. Surely, there are nice guys out there who would want to date you!”

“Yeaaah! You should try dating, Ira!” Honey agreed, grabbing a chair and sat on it.

“If you want, we can help you. We’ll set a date for you.” Aunt Mary suggested with a thrilled face.

Aunt Marge’s sister-in-law smiled and spoke, “It’ll be good for you, Ira!”

Ira panicked at everyone’s suggestion that she should go on a date but she just sat there shaking her head neglecting the idea. The truth is… Ira can’t date! She’s a hermit. Meeting strangers is an uncomfortable thing for her. She won’t be able to handle it well.

Suddenly, Aunt Marge kneeled before Ira, begging and crying. “Please, Ira! Don’t be an old maid like Lucy!”

Staggered with her aunt, Ira instantaneously stood up to pull up Aunt Marge. “Aunt Marge, don’t do that! Please! Get up!”

Aunt Marge stood up and cupped her niece’s small face. “I don’t want you to live a sad and lonely life, Ira Bear!”

The conversation, the situation, and the people were already making Ira feel uncomfortable that she wanted to escape and breathe. It’s too much for her to handle. In fact, she wanted to scream, to explode right where she is standing.

Suddenly, all attention was snatched away when Ares stood on the podium and took the microphone. “Good evening, everyone!”

The ladies finally left Ira alone to listen to the young man who was about to make an announcement. Ira seized the moment. She quietly left the crowd and went back to their table.

“You survived. Congratulations!” Eros teased as soon as his sister was seated.

“We were betting on you. Eros bet that you would explode there.” Orion disclosed.

Ira sniggered at her brother. “Too bad for you I didn’t. But I almost did if not for Ares.”

Eros snapped his fingers. “Ugh! I could have won 500 hundred pesos. But, it’s okay. We both lost.”

“What were you betting on?” Ira asked Orion.

Eros answered because Orion was too pissed that he didn’t win either. “He was hoping that you would come back here whining.”

“Losers!!!” Ira bellowed battling her eyelashes. “Anyway, what’s Ares doing up there?”

Every member of the Pardilla clan settled down. Ares continued with his announcement. “I just want to tell everyone about an important decision I made.”

Ira fixed her eyes on her favorite brother, waiting for what Ares is about to declare.

“I’m getting married.”

Mr. Pardilla smiled with gladness, so did Usher clapping his hands with joy.

Orion spurted the water he was drinking.

Eros stayed calm. He seemed like he already knew this was coming.

And Ira...

“NO!” she whispered.

She stood up wearily. Her eyebrows lowered, mouth pouted and drawn downwards.

She was about to cry.