Chapter 9

Sam lay down on his father's bed and hugged his pillow. She missed him so much! Even though it had been four months since his death, she still wasn't over him. She was alone and with no one to comfort her. Her father was an orphan who got to where he was through hard work and the mercy of a doctor, who trained him in the field of medicine. At that time not so much was demanded of doctors and some people practiced freely, a cause of death for many patients who believed in untrained doctors. Her father not only taught her how the human body worked, but he also taught her about the medicinal power of plants. She became very good at it and even took classes with professionals, she stopped her studies when she got engaged with the promise to resume them after a year of marriage, so she could give quality time to her husband. Her heart ached, for she did not know if their relationship could be called a marriage. Daniel was not the same man she had known years ago and with whom she had fallen in love. He changed a lot with the death of her father, if he was cold before, now he is ice cold. They didn't sleep in the same room and she hadn't been touched by him yet. It was to be expected that she wouldn't at first since her father's death had affected her too much, but they had already been married for four months and he hadn't even kissed her. All that time she had felt lonely since the only family member she should count on was her "cousin", who was not her blood family. Barbara was the daughter of Mr. Fraga's best friend. She was orphaned when her parents were killed in a robbery and Mr. Fraga ended up raising her. But Barbara was not a good person and always humiliated Sam.

A week later…

Sam went to her husband's office and sat down in front of him, who looked at her with annoyance as if she repulsed him.

“Daniel, it's been a long time since we've been married, and…” Her voice was shaky as she played with her hands. “And you still haven't taken me…” Her cheeks blushed.

“You're always a whore," her husband sneered. “You've been throwing yourself at me ever since I proposed marriage, you have no shame or modesty. Women don't ask for such things, if I feel like it, I go and take you and that's it; but, Samay, you don't even make me want to kiss you. Understand this so we can have a peaceful party: I don't like you, I don't care about you and I simply did you the favor of marrying me so you won't stay single, at least be thankful that you have a husband to represent you and work for you, I'm sorry, but I can't give you more.”

Sam could not believe what she had just heard, it could not be true. He had told her that he loved her, why was he now torturing her with such painful words? She ran out of there since she would not give him the pleasure of seeing her cry. Her world was over, she was alone and unloved.

Sam shook her head to get those painful memories away, she had to get over her past and move on. One of the things she would do to get started was to start her drugstore and continue studying. She decided to take advantage of Arthur's offer to pay her tuition and business expenses. At first, she was reluctant, but he insisted so much that she ended up agreeing, but she would pay him every penny whether he was offended or not. She had thought a lot about his marriage to the young lady who would visit them the next day, it hurt her too much and she could not bear to see him married to another woman; that is why she had decided to stay at the ranch until the wedding, then she would go to live in town. She had already told Arthur about her decision to leave the farm and he thought it was a good idea; she was relieved that he did not question her, sometimes she suspected that he knew her feelings.

(...)

“Hold it like this, look at the target,” a shot rang out and Sam jumped for joy.

“I did it! I got it!” she celebrated with euphoria. Arthur stood watching her with a smile, he loved to see her so happy and cheerful.

“I'm proud of you," he said as he took the weapon and put it on the small table where others lay with their supplies. After what happened with Anabela, Arthur ordered the women to learn how to shoot and they all had to carry a gun with them, maybe it was not a peaceful way to act, but he was tired of the constant abuses around, where women were raped, robbed and beaten daily. The violence had increased in recent months with the Jones' new rich neighbors, friends of the Joneses.

“Sam, I'd like to have lunch near the river, we haven't spent much time together these days and I'm afraid not in the next few days either,” he looked down.

“Yes, I imagine you'll be busy tending to your girlfriend,” she corroborated with a bitterness in her mouth. She knew she shouldn't complain to him, but she couldn't help but get angry.

“If you prefer, we'll have lunch with everyone at the house," he retracted, feeling guilty.

“No!" Sam suddenly shouted, shooing Arthur away. “I mean, let's have lunch near the river, it's a way to end our close friendship since after your girlfriend visits you and everyone knows her as your future wife, there should be a prudent distance between us out of respect for her and to avoid gossip... By this I don't mean that we have something outside of a friendship…” she began to stammer and play with her hands. “It's just that I don't think it's wise to continue with this friendship, it's not that we are no longer friends..., this, well, we are very close and you have even accompanied me at night until I fall asleep when I have nightmares and... we have dinner together... And—”

“I got what you mean!” he interrupted her with his heart racing. “It won't be wise for us to be close, I know, so let this be our last day of this special friendship we have.”

She nodded trying to regain her composure. Lunch was pleasant under the shadows of a leafy tree, they both laughed while remembering Raul's and some of the children's antics and pranks.

After eating and talking for a long time, Arthur fell asleep on the quilt that moved under them; these days he had not slept well, as he went to bed very late and got up early with all the work he had accumulated and because of the celebration of his engagement that would be in a week.

Sam decided to take a walk to let him rest and when she returned to where he was taking his little nap, she watched him with rapt attention.

She sat down next to him and stroked his black hair. He looked so cute asleep, his thick dark eyelashes stood out as his eyes were closed and she couldn't resist the temptation to touch them, she ran her finger over his cheeks and then around his pretty lips. She closed her eyes remembering that kiss they had given each other and shivers ran through her body. Why had he kissed her? He didn't even know her face, he couldn't say it was attraction, or, can a person be attracted to her without knowing her face? How would he react if he saw what lay beneath that veil? Would he regret kissing her?

Sam wiped a tear that escaped her eyes and looked at him sadly. It was a relief that he didn't feel the same way she did, she wouldn't know how to refuse to let him see her face if they were a couple. What a fool! A man like him would never be for her, not even her husband wanted her. Now Arthur belonged to another woman, how she envied her! She wished so much to be in her place; to be able to be in Arthur's arms must have been wonderful; to kiss those lips, to sleep on his chest. She had already tasted him and was sure she would never tire of him, of his attention, of his love.

“What would it feel like to be loved by a man?” she whispered as she caressed the edges of his lips, she loved that the upper lip formed a heart, Arthur was a very attractive man and she liked everything about him. “What would it be like to make love with caresses and kisses? How good is pleasure, does it exist?” she didn't bother to wipe away the tears wetting her thin veil, rather she stood rapt, reveling in Arthur's sleeping face.

“What would happen if I kissed you one last time?” She drew his face close and kissed him on the lips. She licked them gently, fearing that he would wake up. She closed her eyes and remembered that kiss full of desire. She had never been kissed that way. She lost herself in the memory and moved her lips over Arthur's, who opened his eyes, startled; remaining stunned without understanding what was happening. He closed them again when he realized that Sam was kissing him! Was he still dreaming? He pretended to be asleep so as not to scare her, besides, he was enjoying it. He knew it was wrong, he would soon be an engaged man and his future wife would visit him the next day, but at least he wanted to feel her sweet lips one last time. He intended to let her do with his mouth as she pleased, he would pretend to sleep and pretend to wake up minutes after she left him; however, her warmth and wetness caused him so much enjoyment that he could not contain himself; for that reason, he moved his lips against Sam's lips.

She widened her eyes at being discovered and tried to break the contact, but Arthur held her by the nape of her neck and clung to her mouth. They kissed each other desperately as if their lives depended on that intense kiss. Their mixed breaths, the agitated beating of their hearts, the nervousness reflected in the trembling of their hands. All those sensations had created a bubble around them, where only they mattered; however, the bubble would soon burst…

“Sir, oh... I'm sorry!” Raul apologized with a blush and then smirked. Sam and Arthur jumped to their feet and looked down in embarrassment.

“Wait for me at the ranch,” Arthur ordered with difficulty and blushing. His lips were red and swollen, his hair was messy and his breathing was ragged.

Raul nodded and left but not before giving a little 'I told you so' look to Sam, who was playing with her hands at the time.

“Sam…” Arthur stammered, not knowing what else to say, once they were alone again.

“I'm sorry, I was daring," she said hiccuping without looking him in the face, she just didn’t dare to do it. “You are engaged and I disrespected you, I'm sorry, I was very reckless, sorry,” she covered her face with both hands and cried.

“Don't worry, I'm guilty too,” he wrapped his arm around her and kissed the crown of her head.