Why Is My Heart Beating Fast?

Two weeks later 

Glenn's Apartment 

Today was my scheduled departure for Germany. I would establish a business partnership there and also held a fake honeymoon with Aileen. 

Today also coincided with the day of Aileen's dance performance, where she had the opportunity to get a scholarship to continue her master's education at a well-known university abroad. 

For some reason, I felt that something had changed with my relationship with Aileen since that dinner, when I picked her up that day. I didn't know why, but I could feel that Aileen wasn't as chatty as usual. 

Currently we were still in the apartment. We were preparing to go to our respective destinations. I checked again my suitcases' completeness, then Aileen who I didn't know what she was doing at the moment. I think she was preparing her uniforms or was busy praying for the smooth running of the stage, which I also pray for Aileen's well-being. 

Vibration in the pocket of my pants, made me rush to check it out. It turned out to be a message from Eros, who reminded me about the schedule's flight that would take me to Germany.

"I still have a few hours. I'd better check on Aileen." 

I decided to get out of the room, but it turned out that Aileen also came out of her room so we passed each other, with awkward movements that were very visible to us. I could see her flinching in surprise, then turning her face to the other way, as if she was avoiding eye contact with me. 

"Are you ready?" I asked, when we were just silent in front of the room without anyone intending to say something like before. 

"Hmm, yes.... Are you leaving now?" Aileen asked back. 

Her tone sounded awkward and I didn't like it. I hoped that our honeymoon wouldn't awkward as this. Though I didn't know if my work would be time consuming or not.

"No, there's still a few hours left. Do you need a ride? I can take you." I replied and offered her a ride.

I thought I should try to fix our communication which I didn't really need to. But strangely, why did I feel something was missing, if she's not as chatty and excited as she used to be. Whereas shouldn't it be good, if the past two weeks my ears had not been polluted by ultrasonic sound. 

"I think my brain is starting to shift," I thought to myself, confused.

Aileen shook her head quickly in response to my offer, leaving me dumbfounded by her thoughtless refusal. 

"Does Ai really want to stay away from me?" I thought inwardly.

"Emm, no need.... I don't want to bother you. But thank you," Aileen explained, then she averted her gaze as she adjusted the bag slung over her shoulder, then she looked back at me with an awkward expression. 

"Then, I'll go first. Have a safe flight." Aileen said while waving her hand at me. 

Then she left me alone in front of the bedroom door and I could only watch her leave without a word. I stood there with pain in my heart, and this made me confuse by my sudden change in my feelings.

I felt happier when I could see her smiling freely at me like before, and not Aileen who avoided me like this.

Slam! 

The sound of the door closing made me realize, that right now I was alone in my apartment. For the past two weeks we only met before going to bed. She seemed to be eating out on purpose with her friends. Whereas usually, she would whine asking for a meal with salmon as her favourite dish.

I stood for a while before I decided to check the kitchen before actually leaving the apartment. The kitchen was the the most vital thing, considering that I would leave Aileen who could starve at any time. So, I wanted to make sure there was still something to eat during my absence.

Oh, my God.... What was I just thinking? 

I fell silent suddenly, when I felt that my worries were too much for a man, who only had a contract marriage with a woman. 

Since when did I have this much worry? 

Even with my ex, I had never felt this caring. I was indifferent to them and never once cooked for them. Let alone worry about them when I would leave them for a business trip. 

"I have to make sure, before I go to Germany. I can't leave feeling weird like this," I decided. 

then I went back into my room, to get my car keys and wallet. 

I got out of my unit apartment in a hurry and walked towards the parking lot. My current goal was to go to Aileen's stage to find out what feelings was I going through right now.

Vromm! 

University Art of City J  

Arriving at the parking lot where she was studying, I immediately went to the place where that night I came to, namely the hall. Besides talking to her, I also wanted to see her dance ballet.

She would definitely look different. So far the picture I had about her, was from our daily life. She moved and walked indifferently and not elegant. While ballet was a dance that displayed flexibility and elegance.

Along the corridor that I passed, the atmosphere felt normal. It was like no activity being carried out. 

I found it strange but I ignored it and rushed towards the hall.

Whisper after whisper that I heard, I just ignored it, because it was not the time for me to listen to them. Right now all I wanted to hear was her explanation of her change in attitude.

I knew it had been long since that day. Two weeks I held back not caring about her changes. But now, I couldn't hold it in any longer, because I just realized that I actually missed the old Aileen. 

Up ahead I could see the door of the hall that I was currently headed for. The closer I got to the door, the more I felt the pounding as if there was an impatient feeling that wanted to break out of there. 

My hand without hesitation reached out to pull the hall door and open it. 

Creak! Creak! 

"Eh!" 

The door was locked, why was the door locked? 

I tried to pull it again, but still no change. I was even more confused when the hall door was locked in silence. 

"Strange, why is it like this? Why is there no activity inside," I muttered.

 "Stupid.... Why didn't I ask her where she would be performing? Why didn't I force her so I could take her to where she was performing?" I could only regret it now in my heart. 

I tried to pull the door again but it was useless. No matter how many times I tried, I could not open it. 

I let go of the doorknob in annoyance, while sighing in annoyance. Then I turned around and was startled when I found behind me stood a security guard, who that night asked me to just go inside.

"Excuse me, Sir, what are you doing at the door of the hall?" he asked with a frown. 

Hearing his question made me curse my reckless behavior. 

"Hmm.... Is this hall empty? Isn't there a dance performance, but why...." I deliberately didn't continue my words, when I saw him nodding in understanding with a mumble as if he knew what my unfinished words meant. 

"Oh.... That! You are misplaced. The event is not here, but in the downtown heritage arts building. Looks like the event is already beginning," explained the security guard, causing me to secretly curse. 

"Damn, whereas I want to see her dance," I thought angrily. 

"Ok, thanks for the information. I'll excuse myself, Sir," I replied after finding out where she actually appeared. 

"Yes, you're welcome, Sir." 

After that, I went back to my car and drove the car at high speed. I didn't want to miss, when she performed her ballet dance.

 "God, I hope I'm not too late," I begged. 

Fortunately, on the way to the city's heritage art building, there were no traffic jams or disturbances, so I was able to arrive quickly. 

After I parked the car, I ran quickly to where the event was being held. My heart skipped a beat as my feet ran towards the door with lots of people passing by, not to mention the sound of classical ballet music that could be heard all the way down the corridor where I was running. 

Platter! 

At the end of this entrance, I could look directly at the stage. My eyes were fixed on a woman wearing ballet clothes, who looked perfect wrapped around her body. 

I was speechless and fascinated by every movement presented by her. I noticed how her hand was raised, as well as when her feet stood on the support of the thumbs. 

In my entire life, I had never witnessed a dance activity like this in person. I was not a person who liked to spend time admiring the graceful movements of a dancer. 

But Aileen, why was she able to make me speechless and mesmerized by the beauty she displayed. 

"What's wrong with me? Why is my heart beating fast?"

To be continued.