a terrible past

the sky was dark it felt like I could not breathe I was holding on for dear life when I saw a hand reach out and grabbed me by the neck this is the end i said .Nova the voice said nova! nova! nova! I shot up out of my sleep to see my wife right beside me telling me to get up and ready for work a sigh of relief came out of my mouth it was just a dream. I got up and went to work kissing my wife good bye, oh where are my manner my names nova and I was an ex military solider, now I work at Gadget a famous tech company I work as a security guard and I'm a very good one during these past few days tho my past has been bothering me I still could here the shouting and screaming of my partners as they drop down and die and still see my self on the battle field running and jumping trying to find safety but even that was not good enough I got shot and fell to the ground bleeding out it was only the meer fact of my wife having to raise our kid all by her self that was keeping me alive the next thing I knew I was on a hospital bed seeing my wife crying beside . up to this day memories from my past still bother me I go to therapy but that still don't help I just had to keep strong for my wife and daughter and hoping the bad dreams will go Away. If only it where that easy you see once you lived the life I've been through after a time you'll wish you could just turn back and change every thing you did but then after some time you'll realize this is it there is no turning back there is no backing down you did what you did and there's no changing that you'll have to carry on your back all that guilt and you'll have to begin to accept there's no changing it you can only live out your life to the fullest now constantly watching over your shoulders always suspecting someone is out to get you and your family for the things you did knowing you could not live with your self if something was to happen to your family . That's the live I live and I know I can't change my past but I can only hope it does not catch up to me.