Burning heart, cold soul(2)

I left the factory and went to Kai's house to make the last preparations. Before I got there I took a detour to the shop to get my gear to do the finishing touches. When I arrived at Kai's house I saw Kai practicing in the garden.

"Hey, Ethan! What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Kai! Is your father home?"

"He's at the library. Why?"

"Let's go inside first."

We went inside and I told Kai I wanted to make some modifications to my suit.

"Ooh, now I get it. You can't let father see those. But here is only the gear, where are the parts for the upgrades? Wait... Ethan, the parts father bought you where for these?"

"Yes. Since I know I can make them better why not. Besides, I only need to make the finishing touches. Most of the stuff is already build."

"Wait... How long have you been working on this."

"Well, I'm have been making schematics for those things for years now. I just modified them a little to work with the suit as a base."

"You've been making weapons all along... It makes sense... That's the reason all the stuff you made is so dangerous... Why did you make them?"

I look at Kai he seems scared.

'What is this idiot thinking about.'

"I made them to protect myself, my friends, and my family. What did you think I was doing all this time. Besides wasn't the reason Nya and Zane joined our lessons with your father to make weapons to protect themselves as well."

"I thought it was just a way to make them do something productive for once. I didn't think you were actually thinking about making weapons."

"I still don't understand why you are like this."

"Ethan, the stuff you made is very dangerous. It can easily kill people, I saw the stuff you made. I was there when you did the testing to see if they worked. The stuff that is in the basement now... Well, they are many times bigger. Just that yellowish powder you call "TNT" is enough to take down an entire building! Please stop, don't use them. The gear is fine as it is."

"Kai, I get it. But you don't need to worry. Most of the stuff is just for me to increase my mobility and my strength, all the pistons and all that stuff are all for this. The only truly dangerous things there is the TNT and the small bombs labeled "HE". Didn't you see some of the upgrades yourself, like the thermal goggles and such? I don't want to kill anybody. I just want to be prepared for as many things as I can."

"Ok. You scared me there Ethan. I'm still a little bit unsure if you should be doing this and I'm still in shock you've been working at those things behind our backs for years now."

"Kay, I'm going to tell you something that you probably know deep inside, but you seem to look over. I can be scared too."

There was a pause where he looked at me not knowing what to say. On one part he knew I was also human and it was normal for me to be scared. On the other hand, he always saw me as a fearless warrior; he believed I was different from the rest, that I didn't need to face mundane problems, that I wasn't afraid of anything, that I could do anything if I wanted.

"When I'm scared I don't go and hide or run away, I try my hardest to find a solution for the problem that scares me. Sometimes I use force, sometimes I use words but every time I try to make sure that I'm not scared anymore after this is all over. Since I was a child I wanted to go on adventures and help people because I wanted to feel good and I wanted them to feel good with me, if I was happy I wanted to give them a piece of my happiness, but I was afraid I would get hurt so I started to train so I could fight. Now it's more or less the same thing. I'm afraid that I will not be good enough, that I would slip up on one of those missions and you'll get hurt or Zane or Nya. I know I can't always be prepared for what life throws at me, but I'll do my best in order for those that I care about to not get hurt."

"Oh man, now I'm feeling like an asshole. All this time you've been trying to protect us and yourself."

"It's not your fault. You didn't know. Want to help me with this?"

"Sure! Let's go!"

I didn't lie to Kai. I meant all this stuff and more. I care a lot about them. This is my main reason for upgrading the suit but this doesn't mean I will not use it to take revenge. I promised him I would not kill anyone with the suit and I meant it. The scum deserves to suffer.

We went to the basement and worked at the suit till Kai's father came. Kai was very impressed looking at the schematics I gave him for the upgrades and said he wanted to upgrade his suit to which I told him how much the cost of the upgrade was and he went quiet. When his father went came home he invited me to dinner. I politly refused and went home to make the last ajustments.