Part nine - Once, a liar, a cheater and a deciver met 21/26

- Where ... where did you get the ice cream? - asked the embarrassed girl, looking at the mentioned ice cream in the hand of her captain.

They had been together since the morning, so Nami could tell for sure that Luffy had not gone anywhere, and there was no ice cream among their supplies. Not to mention the fact that the guy somewhere managed to get himself another acid-colored T-shirt, instead of the shirt taken from him. And more fashionable glasses, now covering his eyes.

- Isn't it obvious? - Luffy turned his head slightly towards the girl. - Of course, I took it from the ice cream maker. Seriously, Nami, don't be like Zoro! You must understand something so obvious yourself.

The girl was going to ask where he managed to find this very ice cream maker at six o'clock in the morning, and even literally in ten minutes that she did not see him, as well as where he got the new T-shirt from, but then her prudence took over curiosity, and Nami restrained herself. Firstly, it is better not to know some things, the sleep is stronger, and, secondly, the girl had no doubts that before answering the question, Luffy would first thoroughly rinse her brain. It wasn't worth it. Moreover, the drama that unfolded in front of them gradually began to turn into an excellent comedy.

- Take Kaya, and get out of here immediately! - Usopp screamed.

- We will not leave you, captain! - the amicable and adamant answer of the trinity of little boys sounded in response.

For about a minute, all this skirmish lasted, during which Usopp, by hook or by crook, tried to force Kaya and the boys to run away from here to hell, and they stubbornly stood their ground, wanting to stay and help in "protecting the village". As a result, Usopp made an effort on himself and even rehabilitated himself a little in Luffy's eyes - he himself said this to Nami and Johnny standing next to him! - when he twisted the truth in such a way that the three boys simply had no choice but to take Kaya by the arms and dump him into the village. If they had not done this, they would not only look like complete idiots, but also "betray their captain". In general, everything almost worked out when a whole "cavalry" arrived in time to the scene, armed to the teeth with rakes, pitchforks and shovels, and the healthiest men even had trouble-free crowbars in their hands. It was at this moment that the drama finally turned into a comedy. Or was it Luffy's idiotic comments?

- Pedro, how could you?! - Luffy exclaimed in a squeaky voice when the villagers realized that Klahador really was that bastard, and, drowning out each other, began to tear their throats heart-rendingly about it. - I believed you so, believed so, and you slept with my dad all this time! How could you?!

- Mwa-ha-ha-ha! - changed Luffy's voice to "kind of villainous" when Kuro replied to the villagers. - It was all my insidious plan to take over your great-granddaughter's bakery! Conchita, once I have dealt with you and that old fool, your father, no one else can stop me from taking over your great-granddaughter's bakery!

- But Pedro, my dad already died ten years ago! - and again a thin voice, when the villagers began to shout that they would not allow Klahador to receive Kaya's inheritance, and even more so they would not allow him to kill her.

- Mwa-ha-ha-ha! - and again "kind of villainous." - Means less work for me! - in about the same way, Kuro replied to the villagers when they told him that they would lay down their lives, but would not let him offend Kaya.

- You know, he is, of course, a complete idiot and weakling, - Luffy suddenly said in his usual voice after Kuro explained to everyone in the crowd why he had "less work" with their arrival, - but still pretty smart. If we hadn't ended up on this island, then his plan would have passed without any problems. As a matter of fact, that is why he is smart ... even if everything could be concocted much faster and easier, which is why he is a complete idiot. Besides, what a bad habit of talking about your plans? Is it really so eager to share with everyone what a genius he is?

Johnny sighed heavily, - Luffy, you do it yourself all the time. Don't be a hypocrite.

- Firstly, I declare with full responsibility that your captain is shocked to the core by the fact that you know the meaning of the word "hypocrite" at all. Secondly, the narrated villainous plan is not the same with other narrated villainous plan. You can tell your villainous plan only when the spread of knowledge about your villainous plan will not threaten the implementation of this very villainous plan.

- Do you have to repeat the "villainous plan" so often? - asked Nami.

- No, but I liked this phrase.

- I thought so.

As stated, this entire conversation was the result of Kuro blurting out the meaning of his plan to everyone in the audience. And he consisted not only in killing Kai, and appropriating all the property she had, but also killing her own team, so that, therefore, not a single living soul could identify this same pirate Kuro in the pirate Kuro.

- He's delusional in reality and doesn't even understand it, - Luffy made his final verdict, and then returned to eating the already melted ice cream.

- In this he certainly does not differ from the overwhelming majority of all the others we met as a pirate, - Nami snorted contemptuously. - We are here, and he is still talking about his plan, instead of running from here as fast as he can.

- No, I'm not talking about that - Luffy waved his free hand slightly. - His plan was for Pango to hypnotize Usopp's wannabe-zombi. She would write her will, and then, after her death, everything would go to our Fake Zombie.

- What do you want to say? - Johnny did not understand, and Nami was looking at her captain a little puzzled.

- Look around and tell me who's missing here, - Luffy replied, rolling his eyes.

Johnny and Nami obediently turned their heads around. And if at first they looked around, not understanding what exactly Luffy was hinting at, then soon they began to look around quite meaningfully.

- What? Jango escaped? - the first asked Nami, surprised when she could not find a pirate-hypnotist on the shore.

- He's halfway to the opposite end of the island, - Luffy chuckled again, but almost immediately his grin transformed into a grimace of disgust. - Like that green-haired down with his topographic cretinism! Honestly, someday I will not be able to restrain myself and will just kill him!

- Zoro ... Zoro is half way to the opposite end of the island? - tilted his head to the side Johnny.

- How so? He has haki! - Nami said irritably. - How can you get lost with haki? Shouldn't it help him to constantly know where we are?

- Nami, this idiot is not able to find a ladder while standing on this very ladder. - Luffy's face twisted as if all his teeth were hurting at once. - I confess I don't know what to do with him, - the guy added with a distinctly audible note of despair. - No matter how hard I beat him, no matter how I persuade him, no matter what I advise, everything is useless! Everything! If I didn't know him as I know him, I would have thought that he was just mocking me like that. I would even understand and forgive! But no, he is really as bad as he is!

- Maybe we can try to get him a dog, which would, taking the trail, could return him back to the ship? - Johnny suggested.

- Only if the dog is smarter than Zoro, which, if you think about it, is quite possible, and if it can speak, which is less likely. In other cases, nothing will work ... and, over time, I myself will bang her if she shits anywhere on my ship and walks on my couch.

Nami and Johnny involuntarily glanced at each other. They realized that Luffy himself was thinking about a dog for Zoro, but then his own prejudices prevented him. No, in general, Luffy loved animals, as well as dogs in particular. However, the boy loved them only when they did not need to swim with him.