Chapter 69

2023.03.12

My flight was 6 hours away and I could not stay a minute longer in the dorm. I sat out on the road and waited for a cab. I ordered breakfast for the members because I was in-charge of the breakfast every day. I froze. Would they eat? They might throw away. I sighed. I went to a nearby Convenience store and bought some snacks and placed them in front of the door.

I did not want to leave yet. I wanted to meet my favorite artists. Visit places I wrote down. My notebook! Dang it! It was on the kitchen table. I sat down exhausted with all the walking. I gazed at the Han River that glimmered with the moonlight as well as the city lights. My phone beeped, the can had arrived. I pushed my luggage to the cab. The driver helped me put the luggage to the trunk and opened the door for me. I talked with him to ease myself. He told a lot about his customers and also about his life. Being a taxi had it hard times and good days, you just have to keep driving. The outcome is precious when you look back. I asked him if there was any ways to send a package to someone. He showed me an app that you can order things online and send it to the person we want.

I came to the airport. I messaged my parents and Kit that I had arrived to airport safely. I fare welled the taxi driver and went into the airport. I bought things for my family in the duty free and constantly checked the weight to avoid any problems in the check point. My flight will arrive in two hours. I sat down. The airport was not lively like when I landed here. It felt lonely. I removed my shoes and lifted my legs close to my heart to stop it from beating so fast. I called the online store. "Hello, this is Anastasia Jewelry." "Hi, Hope you are doing fine. I made a special order to make two rings with names engraved. The order number 459." "Please hang on." After about two minutes, "Yes, madam. Do you have any suggestions?" "Can you erase 'Anna' and write 'Amy'?" "You want it to be Amy and Barron?" "Yes." "We can madam." "Thank you." I tilted my head backwards making it hang and watched the ceiling. The tears started pouring out. I was late again. I do not belong anywhere do I? Everything does not seem the way I want it to go. The people I did not want to disappoint are disappointed from my selfish decision. I went so much to get the recipe right, asked many people to test it, and above all I stood in lines to get the permission. Was I? Was I being an ultimate Selfish S*** head? It started to rain. It felt cold and it was as if I was lost. I could only do is cry. I could not cry anymore. I started having hiccups. I reached for my bottle and I remembered the SEVEN band and the WILD GIRLS band, I did not get to say good bye. The App! I wiped the tears and went to the online store. I shopped some snacks, treats and rings for all of them and added their respective addresses. I received a call to confirm my order because it was expensive. They spoke in Korean. I confirmed the order and asked them if they could attach a letter for me. 'I am sorry that I am leaving without saying a proper goodbye. I have to run back because of my cosmetic brand that I am willing to start up. And the dead line is on 15th which is the MMA Awards. I am sad that I could not see you all in person but I will watch the live for sure. Hope you win the awards that you deserve for your hard work. Please stay safe and take care of your health. I am sending these goods as a gratitude for the times we spent we spent together. Love you all always."

I booked the flight. I sent texts for Kit and my parents as I promised. I went to take a nap as I was really tired staying up.

2023.02.13

I finally came to my motherland. The breeze seemed to welcome me back. I was in slight high spirts. I thought of letting go of what happened. We can settle it after the Awards are over and when they arrive back home.

I took a drive to home. My mother is the one who opened the door. I hugged her tightly. It felt home and safe. She smelled of food. She was cooking probably. Father was off to work. Engel was in her in-laws house. My mother and I talked a lot while unpacking my luggage. I told her about the dorm, streets, shops, apps and about the food. I promised her that I will do a Korean cuisine today, so call Engel to come by for the dinner.

After we had dinner, I sat down to write down about product and get ready for tomorrow. I have a lot to do. I have to get the products to the market. My phone buzzed. It was a message in VeChat, it was Mingyu. It was a video. They filmed themselves they received the goods. They wore the rings were flexing in front of the camera. They wished me luck for my brand and they asked me how to buy the products. They were sad that I left and also said they understood my situation. I messaged them that I will let them know and also I wished luck on their performance. I wished if my team would have understood too. I replayed the video over and over again. It made me happy. I noticed my team on the background and a person eating the snacks. I zoomed in. It was Dongmin! I smiled unconsciously. I forgot to ask mother about the proposal. I stood up to go downstairs but my phone buzzed. I thought it was Mingyu. It was Barron actually. I hesitated to open the message. I remembered Amy saying to leave Barron alone. Wait, I did not do anything, right? It would be rude if I do not text back. I placed my head on my hands and stressed about it. I really did not want to fight. I cannot tell Barron that your girlfriend asked me not to chat.

After twenty minutes I texted him back. 'Sorry I was in the washroom'. Wait is it a bit provocative. I retyped, 'Sorry I was having dinner. Yes I came back safely. I am a bit busy talk to you after everyone comes back here safely.' I answered and killed the conversation at the same time. I felt relieved when he texted only 'okay.'

2023.03.14

I got ready to go to the office to sign up and get my license and permission. My father accompanied me and he also called some of the officers he knew to get the work done quickly. They said they will register post the final document with license number and all. I thanked them for their hard work and came back home tired to the brim.

Mother had already made lunch. She insisted me to eat before having a nap as I did no eat in the morning as well. While I was eating my mother mentioned that the relatives called if I had arrived ad what I had bought. And also asked if I had bought for them after all that screaming and advice they gave me. My father insisted on not giving anything to any of the relatives and I was anyways not going to give nor did I buy anything for them.

I called my sister and asked if her brother-in-law does blogs too. And it turns out he does. I sent him some ideas and the color palette I want. I had one of my cousin brother to help me take good professional photos of the products. It was really exhausting when you do all the things in your own. But I was getting used to doing things alone. I arranged all the things I have to do and I also asked my mother for ideas and all. I had done the labels, I have to print once I get the license number for my products. There is a long way to go. I made accounts on the online platforms like stargram and tiktok to reach people around the globe. I was not still sure how to send the goods but I wanted to try. I even made orders for the packaging, bottles to fill the goodness. I mainly focused on body scrubs, bath bombs, soaps, creams, body lotions and masks. And all the products were hand-made and only contains a little stock per month. I did not want to overdo it either.

2023.03.15

I took some Korean snacks and some home-made cookies to meet the head and the Kit's professor. We were going to watch the MMA Awards live. I was nervous. I sent a video to Mingyu, 'WILD GIRLS' stylist, also the SEVEN's stylist and Kit that we are ready to watch the awards.

It was nerve wrecking and interesting at the same time. The anchors started announcing. And we three started to munch on the snacks. Professor bought drinks and Head gave his office and tissues to watch the Awards. Artists came one by one. As Dora and I predicted many wore red and black. There was a lot gold too. We all started commenting in the outfits. The voting will start after all the artists are arrived. After around twenty- three bands went WILD GIRLS came. The professor and Head cheered as if they were young boys watching a football game. "Shush, listen." I was translating what they were speaking. Head commented, "I think the colors are refreshing from the rest of the artists. They certainly are cut out of the crowd. I smiled said that is what we were aiming for. Professor said that we had nailed in catching the beauty of each and every one of them and also they made a good choice of wearing a natural makeup. He asked how that was. I told him the secret of skin color tone. He clapped his hands and said certainly. He added, most of us forget about that usually and many people neglect it. I nodded. Head was confused, "What the hell are you both talking about? Talk in language I can understand." I and professor laughed. Professor explained the theory and he still was getting the hang of it and said, "It does not matter anyways that he was too old for it now." I smiled at him. He was so warm, I suddenly missed my grandparents. They left me real quick, before I grew up.

After a long wait, the SEVEN band came up the red carpet. They were dope. Professor was impressed. The camera man was zooming in on the thread works and all. "Did you all do the thread work?" I nodded. "Wow! In such a short time. They are crazy. I love the shorts." "It was a trend in Korea back then." We watched the performance. I videoed the screen to send to Kit and Mingyu that I was watching. I also sent Head and Professor watching the screen in curiosity. He texted me back, "I am happy you are with them, it would have been great if you are here. It was a bit hard without you and thanks for keeping the notebook." I replied, "Always"

I went home before it was 4.00 in the evening. I watched the rest of the show in my phone. Mingyu had not messaged me yet. He must be tired. I searched for Dongmin's red carpet dress, they did a poor job. His visuals did a lot than the outfit. The online poll started. We were in the fifth place. There was a lot of comments on the pants that WILD GIRLS wore and my Stumpwork on SEVEN. I was feeling Optimistic.

2023.03.16

I checked the votes as soon as I woke up. We were in fourth place. There was very slight difference in votes. We still have not have got the judges and the artists votes. I was pretty sure we will win but not sure what place we will receive. I had got messages from Mingyu, Kit and Barron. Sally had called me several times. Emma had messaged too. They had messaged me a link. I clicked on it. LIKE WHAT THE HELL. My Stumpwork had blew the internet. People were debating if it was done by us KDTA or bought in the market. They were praising the work I had done. But I could not be happy. I was not back in Korea nor have I won the favor of my team. They hate me and I feel like I was being selfish in the end. I showed the news to my mother. She was thrilled and she felt bad for me because I could not be there. I could go but the ticket was a bit expensive so I refused.

2023.03.17

Today was The Day. I stayed at home to watch with my parents and my siblings. We bought popcorn and drinks. It was slightly hard to get the live. It loaded a lot of times but finally it settled. They played intros and they played each team talking. In our video, I, Amy and Tommy was not present because we went late to the venue. Dora and Kit talked in the video and it was very short than other ones. Next was confessions by the artists. They had chance to vote also. All sat in band vice and talked about the interactions they had with the designers. Most were positive and some said that they were rude in an indirect way and most of the problem they had was the communication. The British team had the worst communication. Our team and three others had great communication, in that one group barely knew Korean but they tried hard according to the artists. Then came our fellow artists, SEVEN and WILD GIRLS. They were cheerful. They loved us a lot. They even expressed their sorrow that I was not there with them during the Awards and thanked for the snacks that I had prepared. And out of the blue, the rapper of SEVEN said (In Korean) "I saw in the Social Media that there was a debate that if my jacket, Mingyu's suspenders and Leader's shoulder work were bought out or was done before hand. I tell you Anna did it on the spot. Her hands were so sore and she had around five Band-Aids and she had barely slept. She spent on it a lot and it was awesome." All of the members nodded. I found myself smiling. I took a photo and sent Mingyu with a GIF 'hugging'.

They showed the artists votes. We were in second place. We had hope that we will get a place. They stated to give trophies for special works. We received three awards, 'Best accessory dresser', and 'Best male outfit if the evening' and 'Impressive details'. They showed my thread work. I was proud of my work. The countdown started for the finals. The numbers ticked slowly towards one. My heart ran rapidly. I crossed fingers for luck. They were announcing. The second runner-up was Team Sparks (Thailand team). The first place was… Drum rolls. "Team KDTA" I screamed and stood on the sofa. I hugged my mother tightly. It was a dream come true. The second place was for the British Team. The tams got on the stage to get the trophies and cheer. I saw my team screaming out of their lungs. They started to give their speeches. Kit mentioned me and to my surprise even the British team leader mentioned and thanked me for helping her out even though she was a competitor and said that she was so happy that we received the first place and we deserved it.

Just after the awards was over. I went to browse about our team in the internet. They will arrive shortly. There will be people to welcome them. They will be on the papers. It is going to be a proud moment. But I do not think I should be on it. I did not deserve just like what Tommy and Dora said. I did my part that is all. I did not need any of the fame nor the money. My phone rang it was the professor, he congratulated me and asked, "Are you going to the airport? We will have an interview also. Shall I pick you up?" "Sorry sir. I am not going. I have some personal business to attend to." "Anna, is something wrong? This is a proud moment." "I know. I want to be selfish about my situation now. I have to get my products to the market. Sorry sir." I cut the phone I did not want to talk about it anymore. They will not be happy if I show up. This way is better. And I had only finished my assignment half way.

There were a lot of phone calls and messages. I ignored them except for Sally's, Emma's and Mingyu's. I gave Mingyu the website. I had launched the blog and I was stocking my products. I got a mother's friend to help me with packing. I wanted to keep my recipes a secret. I had printed the labels overnight. I was determined to get my brand on the line. I uploaded my Social media accounts.

2023.03.19

I went to University to give away the assignment. My mother was worried about me because I never bought up the Awards talk. She did not disturb me, she did not speak of it either. My hands were still not in good condition. I had to get treatment because I was constantly working and I was typing the assignment overnight. I was tired and worn-out. I asked my father to drop me in the University. I met my professor and gave the assignment. He said he was proud of me and was shocked at my hand condition. "Anna have you checked about your hands?" I looked down on my hands and replied, "It is fine sir, I need some rest but I could not because I was loaded with work." "You should have told me. I would have extended the deadline." "I think that will not be fair with other students." "Please take care." I nodded and left.

My hands were hurting. I removed my bandage to free my hands. They were pretty red to my surprise. I could not recognize my hands. I sat on a stair and took out the ointment and applied. It felt good. A feet stood in front of me. It was Barron. "Anna! Your hands." I quickly took my bag and hide my hands like a child. "I already saw. And why are you not replying any of the messages?" I stood to leave. It felt like I was making everything a big issue. I heard Kit in the background. "I think this trophy is yours." I looked at the trophy. It was so beautiful than in the video. Dora ran over and hugged me. "I am so sorry. I talked in anger. I should have not. I think I was the most selfish person. You took time to even take care of us even after you left. You are not bossy at all. Even though you are younger than me, you are wiser and mature." She released and found me tearing up. Tommy hand me over a bouquet and kneeled down. "I was wrong. And you have all the right to boss me around. After you left I knew the value of you." he took the notebook out and handed it to me. "That notebook showed how you saw us. You really valued yourself than us." Amy hugged with no words and cried. Which made me tear up too. I broke up from her and took the rings from my bag and handed them to Amy. She shrieked. Barron was impressed and he gave me a farewell smile.

"So Miss. Anna, when will be launching your product?" Kit asked me. "I have already on the social media but not physically." "I think I have an idea." Kit said and smiled.