chapter 10

"We're back to strangers again,

but I think I'll love you forever in some kind of way

(And that's okay)."

-Unknown

Everyone had just finished cleaning the dishes and sat on the floor in a loose circle around the small folding study-table. A comfortable silence had fallen over while they were eating and Max, now exhausted, was once again staring at Venessa, who was staring at her notebook with an appalled yet curious expression.

As much as he wanted to stop staring, he couldn't. Something about her was really attractive. Maybe it was the way her face almost always had this 'I'm gentle but not one to be fucked with' look. Or maybe it was her ability to get along with everyone, even cheer them up when they were down. He frowned; he didn't like not knowing things, especially about himself.

They always seem to have some kind of staring game going; she always noticed him staring and when she stared back for a split second, there would always be a spark; equal parts curiosity and surprise mixed with a dash of attraction on his part.

As he stared, Venessa cocked her head to the side and looked back at him. There it was again. The spark. It was like the world faded out and all that existed was them in this space…their space. He closed his eyes and shook his head and thought about how exhausted he was, about how much he wanted to be home.

"I think I'll go now. I'm too tired." Max opened his eyes and saw Venessa glance Carter and then him. "If you are too tired, you can just crash here you know. Alec is out at a friends'," Carter stared at his best friend.

Her hand clenched tightly over her notebook and she shook her head, smiling apologetically. Carter looked surprised for a second before smiling and nodding his head. She waved at Max to say bye and he felt his stomach jolt and, hoping it didn't show on his face, he tilted his head in acknowledgement.

He watched as she unlocked the door and stepped out, letting the door fall shut behind her. Closing his eyes, he leaned back against the couch. "You like her, don't you?" He opened his eyes and stared at Carter, his heart beating hard and fast, "How do you know? Does she know?"

Carter shook his head, "You make it pretty obvious but I don't know if she knows. She probably does though." Max nodded and closed his eyes again, "I think I'll go home too."

"Yeah sure. I'm sleepy too," Carter yawned.

Max felt like he was running on autopilot as he stepped out of the door and gently shut it behind him, almost bumping into the dejected looking guy he had seen outside Carter's door yesterday. "Sorry."

The guy looked at him, his eyes widening in surprise before settling into a scowl, "Are you in love with him?"

Max instantly knew who he was talking about and snorted; the idea amusing him. "Yeah right. I'm straight."

The stranger's eyes widened and he stared dumbstruck, a light blush creeping into his cheeks as he ran his hands through his hair, "Right…I'll see you around I guess…"

"Are you going to see Carter?" Max heard himself blurt out.

"Yeah. I really want to see him." He seemed like a different person when he talked about Carter; it was as if he had never scowled at Max before. He wondered how it felt to be able to express affection soo fearlessly.

"He's about to sleep though."

"I figured. But like I said, I just want to see him." He flashed another goofy smile.

"I'm guessing you know where Carter keeps the keys then," Max looked at him, his eyebrows raised in a questioning look.

Smiling, he tilted his head forward in acknowledgement and Max nodded back before walking away wondering if he'll ever have enough courage to confess.

•-------------×-------------×---------------•

Venessa unlocked the door of her apartment and walked in, feeling her tense muscles relax as she sighed and sank into her armchair. She couldn't understand what was soo special about Jacob even though she tried to think from Carter's perspective.

She had never really fallen in love before. Sure, she did have a crush on someone but it wasn't soo intense. It wasn't how Carter talked about Jacob or how the novels described. Her crush was just there, she wasn't hypersensitive to his existence.

And then there was Max. She knew he liked her. He made it much too obvious. What was she going to do if he decided to confess? How would she ever tell him that she didn't like him back? It would make things terribly awkward and create a rift between the three of them. She didn't want that.

She sighed and got up from the armchair. Walking into the washroom, she washed her face and once again stood staring into the mirror, knowing there was no cure for prosopagnosia and yet hoping it would somehow cure itself.

She shook her head and imagined herself grabbing the thought and putting in a box titled 'do not open'; she hoped this would help, though it hardly ever did. She had to find a way to battle her obsession with her face blindness.

Remembering the envelope, she walked back out and picked up her book, carrying it all the way to her room before setting it down on the bed.

She grabbed her comb from its place on the dresser table and sat down beside the book, combing her hair and trying to convince herself to not open the letter; it was a private message and she shouldn't read it…but a little peak would be okay right? What Carter didn't know couldn't hurt him, she reasoned.

She liked the simple, repetitive movement of the comb running through her tangled hair; the feeling was very soothing, both to her scalp and to her mind. She closed her eyes and smiled, humming the song her late mother used to sing as she smiled and combed Venessa's black hair, the memory running through her mind like a song.

She opened her eyes and set the comb down with a soft thud. Staring at her notebook, she pulled out the envelope. It was as if she was in a trance, the movement hers but also not hers, as she tore it open and began reading the letter.