chapter 12

''Never trust words.

Some people have sugar on their lips and venom in their hearts.''

–unknown.

Carter opened his eyes to golden sunlight pouring through his window and pooling onto his table, illuminating his diary.

His eyes widened in surprise; he couldn't believe he had forgotten to hide it away as usual.

He felt his phone vibrate and reached under his pillow to pull it out. Switching off the alarm, he looked for his earphones which, somewhere along the long night, had slipped out of his ears and now lay beside him in a tangle of black and yellow.

Stepping out of the bed, he ran a hand through his bed hair and stumbled into the bathroom. He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror; eyes a little puffy and sticky from crying, hair messier than usual. He yawned and quickly splashed his face with cold water, he was sleepy but he had to go to work.

***

Carter yawned for the third time and shook his head. The library he was working at was almost painfully silent and he could hear the faint honking of cars mixed with the shrill chirping of the row of sparrows that sat up on the high windows.

He loved libraries. They were perfect, silent and peaceful. He loved the smell of paper and new books that always lingered in the air there and he loved watching people read, watching as their expressions turned from happy to melancholic and then to exasperated as the story progressed and the characters matured.

He stared at the rays of sunlight filtering through the windows, the tainted glass turning then into a kaleidoscope of different colours; blue, red, green, bruise purple.

The colour took him back to the dream of Jacob he had had last night. He had entered Carter's room and sat there running his hand through the sleepy boys' hair. He remembered Jacob standing by the window and reading his diary. The dream felt awfully real but then half of Carter' dreams were like that.

Jacob had been beautiful in the dream, almost too beautiful to exist. Neck bent over the diary, hair shining in the moonlight, back muscles flexing as he relaxed against the wall, eyes dark and dilated, full of sorrow that Carter couldn't comprehend.

He could almost imagine Jacob as a sad prince, sitting on an ivory white horse that contrasted his dark eyes and even darker hair. A cracked sword in his hands that dangled loosely. Back hunched and posture defeated, close to crying but trying to be strong for his lover that he had failed to save.

Hard as he tried, he couldn't imagine the lover as himself. Only as Sera. He sighed. He wanted to suppress his feelings for Jacob, had almost even managed to, but it had all gone down the drain the moment he had woken up beside him, in his arms and their breaths overlapping.

Two knuckles tapped his desk as a body obstructed his view of the windows. He looked up and the world faded out as his heart beat louder and irrational fear kicked in. Erin stood in front of him holding out what looked like a cup of iced coffee, ''Take this as an apology.''

Breathing quickly and shortly, Carter accepted the cup and sat back down, his body tensed and cold all over, ''Th-thank you.'' He looked down at his table and smiled weakly, hoping it did not turn into a grimace halfway. He really didn't want to create a scene here; it could lead to him loosing his summer job and he loved this job.

''So. Now that we have that aside, tell me about Venessa.'' Carter's eyes widened; he wasn't going to sell his best friend out for anything. He set his coffee down, obviously not comfortable with drinking anything Erin passed him, and clenched his jaw, ''What do you want to know about her? And why?''

''Careful how you talk to me,'' Erin growled, making him flinch, before running a hand over his face, softening his expression. Needless to say, that didn't help Carter's fear or incredulity. ''Tell me about her. What is an ideal boyfriend for her.''

Carter snapped his head up to look at Erin, his eyes huge saucers in his head, and realised he was serious. He really did want to know what type of guys Venessa preferred. If that was all, Carter could tell him that; it wasn't something Ven was very secretive about. ''Um...she likes guys that are nice but also a little detached. Also, someone who isn't very loud all the time and yet energetic enough to keep up with her.''

''That's it? Those are all the characteristics?'' Erin stared at him up and down, as if trying to figure put if he was lying or not. Carter fiddled with the register, trying to push down the fear that was rising inside him, ''Yeah. She isn't very picky. These are the basic characteristics but she can fall for anyone regardless of them.''

Erin hummed, ''What's her favourite food?''

Carter clenched his cold hands together;

Erin said he wanted to know more about Venessa yet here he was asking irrelevant questions, ''She likes to eat fried chicken. She also loves all kinds of fruits except pineapple.''

Erin stared at him, ''Why?''

***

Jacob walked into the famous library and took a startled step back, wishing he knew Carter worked here so he could have dressed better.

He looked at the book in his hands that he had come to return and wondered if he should still return it; he'll have to talk to Carter and after the little stunt he pulled last night, he was too embarrassed to.

He stared at Carter, contemplating, until Erin walked out of the other door and tapped his table for his attention. He handed him a white paper cup and waved his hand carelessly. Jacob felt his blood boil; how dare Erin talk to him after what he put him through?

He shook his head knowing he couldn't do anything. Erin wasn't really hurting Carter right now so doing anything harsh could cost him the job. He stood awkwardly, his gaze fixed on them, watching as Carter clenched his hands into little fists soo tight his knuckles turned white.

Jacob's eyes softened as he stared before hardening as Erin grabbed Carter's collar and yanked, making him yelp in shock; that's it. It didn't matter anymore that Carter could lose his job, nothing mattered except Carter's safety. He couldn't explain how much he hated Eric and, in that moment, the hate seemed to have doubled.

He stomped his way to the desk and set a hand on Eric's shoulder, squeezing tightly and harshly. Erin looked over his shoulder and frowned, ''I wish I could hit you but she specifically told me not to. But really. You're annoying.'' He looked back at Carter, ''Thanks for your help I guess.'' Shrugging his shoulder out of Jacob's grasp, he walked out of the door.

Carter gasped audibly and sat back down on his seat, his eyes teary as he looked at Jacob who couldn't help but, despite the situation, coo at how cute he looked.

''Thank you soo much for that,'' he blurted out, his voice thick.

Jacob reached out his hand and cupped Carter's cheek, rubbing it gently and smiled when Carter closed his eyes and, like a cat, nuzzled against it. ''I'm glad I was here.''

Carter opened his eyes and tilted his head questioningly, ''Oh right. Why are you here in the first place?''

''I came to return a book I had borrowed two weeks ago,'' Jacob looked at him sheepishly, not sure why he was embarrassed.

''I see. I could help you with it if you like...'' Carter offered him with his signature shy smile stretched on his face. ''Yes, thank you. And can I drink that coffee? I'm thirsty.''

''Yeah sure go ahead,'' he replied.

Jacob bent over and lightly kissed his forehead before standing up straight and handing him the book. He sipped the coffee and waited patiently, a pleased smiled on his lips.

He had woken up thinking of Carter. He was half sure he had even dreamt of Carter, the gray sleepy eyes and the ruffled hair. He stared at Carter, his head bent over the book and his vulnerable neck exposed trustingly and thought about everything that had happened over the two years, everything he had to explain to Carter.

''Will you go out on a date with me?''