111. Contemplative

Seemed like I was thinking too much. In the end, I truly became attracted to him in the end. Until he made me give him my heart.

.

"So-sorry … Dr. Tio said my hyperarousal may happen again. Unless you can guarantee that you won't feel pain when we …" Hendra's words were full of regret and desperation, a sentence that bothered my heart.

No, it was not because I struggled to surrender myself tonight. I just … I'm surprised with myself. There was something under my ribs, above my heart, a lump, bitter in taste. Hendra said he couldn't do it, the thing he always wanted. And that made my heart pound, vicious and harsh.

"There is no way I can guarantee that when I have never done it before," I observed his face. He was so handsome, dashing, for the very first time.