Chapter 5: Memories

TRIGGER WARNING

'When did it all start?'

Shades of green splattered the field as it greeted the fresh Spring with open arms. An endless hue of blue stretched wide on the bright sky and the sun rained down drops of its warmth. The first flower bud made its entrance as the wind hummed a soft tune. Strands of entangled dark hair framed a girl's face as it flew. Her coal orbs were littered with stars that twinkled endlessly as she stared at the vast scenery in front of her. A smile graced her lips when she felt her heart tickle. Her yellow summer dress swayed along to the gentle music of nature and she giggled. Truly, a child's mind is so pure and fascinating. As much as it is innocent, it is as fragile. Like a blank wall, it's pure whiteness gets easily tainted by a variety of colors. What tainted Lily's innocence was bold colors of black and red.

"Lily! Papa's home!", Colin called out to his little sister.

"Really?! Let's go home then!"

Lily's short legs moved forward and sprinted towards their house. Colin, left unable to move due to the fast pace of his sibling, ran seconds too late. Their laughter rang like bells on holidays and got louder when they were near the house. The wooden door was slightly ajar, amplifying Lily's excitement as it only meant that their Papa was home.

"Papa! Papa!", their jolly voices rang out.

They barged in the house with light steps and saw the familiar figure of a man. His belly poked through the fabric of his white shirt and looked swollen. Legs encased in a black and shiny fabric, he walked towards his lovely children. Lily's eyes shone and she opened her arms to engulf her father's large frame. His steps were slow and almost trembling. This made the children wonder and run towards their father. However, the man lifted only his daughter and rested his hand on her bare bum. Colin's smile dropped as he tilted his head. Their father had always lifted both of them when he came back from a trip. But now, only Lily was sitting on the man's arm.

"Papa?". The young boy's voice didn't penetrate through his father's ears.

*******

The night draped its shimmering sheets over the sky. Her room casted soft shadows as the light and darkness fought for dominance. Lily's head, drowned in a sea of pillows, raised when the door creaked open and footsteps came near her. The steps were heavy and slow, she knew exactly who it was. Her innocent eyes searched for her father under the dim light and a familiar figure towered over her small frame. His eyes bore unto hers and they shivered with something Lily couldn't understand at that time. Their matching orbs locked and the girl could only call out to her father.

"Papa?"

"You...", he breathed in.

He sat beside her daughter and the matress sank down. His breathing was ragged and almost out of air. The shadows casted a look on his face which made Lily's heart tremble in fear. Her hands went cold and her mind was in a mess. She kept telling herself that he's her Papa, he wouldn't do anything to her. But the look on his face unsettled the young girl. She had never seen her father with this expression. A pair of orbs similar to hers darted to her trembling body, the deep pools containing a glint that terrified her. His hands held her shoulders firmly as he pressed her down on her soft haven. Benedict's large frame secured her in place when she tried to wiggle out. Her small legs fought for her freedom as she kicked the air, trying to get her beloved father off her. His knee separated her glued legs as he shoved it up her forbidden part. The back of her eyes burned with fear as her vision started to blur a little.

"Where's Mama?", Lily croaked.

"Don't worry. Papa will take care of you", he whispered to her ear.

She thrashed her arms around, only to be pinned by his own. Her chest was heaving with pain and her heart seemed to punch it's way out of her ribcage. The pain on her wrist was unbearable as Benedict tightened his hold on her.

'What is Papa doing? He's scaring me. His eyes... his eyes are scary! I should call Mama'

"Ma-"

Just as she was about to scream, something soft but disgusting clamped her mouth shut. Her eyes widened when she saw her father close his eyes with his mouth on hers. Lily's body froze as a slimy thing invaded the insides of her cavern and swept across its walls and teeth. The pits of her stomach started twisting and revolting in disgust. She felt like throwing up but her father's mouth pressed on hers harder. Her cries were muffled as her legs kicked the air even more furiously. Lily wasn't dumb. She knew this was wrong. At the back of her mind, something was screaming at her that this wasn't right. The slimy thing probed her tongue and attempted to coil around it. Lily let out a muffled scream and bit down on the thing that assaulted her.

"Aghhh!", Benedict winced in pain.

Lily coughed and held the bed's headboard to steady her trembling form. Saliva dripped down her chin and more flowed down as she attempted to make the disguting feeling disappear. The feel of that thing didn't leave her mouth and lingered instead. This pushed the girl on edge and she watched her father tower over her once more.

"Let me go! Let me go!", she yelled with all her might.

"You really look like her! Marvelous! My goddess!", he cackled.

His knees forcibly jabbed her legs apart again. The feel of the sweaty and bony flesh against her area made her squirm. She didn't like this. She didn't know what was going to happen. But she knew, it wasn't anything good. A fresh wave of tears broke through from her ducts and flowed down her cheeks. Her roar in pain echoed loudly in the small room and split her head apart. Lily turned her head away from her father's nearing face, allowing access to her slender neck. Benedict relished the scent she gave off and it drove him crazy. She felt a stinging pain on her neck and she cried even louder. Her orbs landed on a teddy bear on the floor. It was a gift her father gave her when he came back from a bussiness trip. Her heart ached in hatred as the bear's beady eyes stared at her.

"Papa, please let me go", she uttered in between her sobs.

Suddenly, a searing pain tore through her lower region. A shrill scream destroyed the chains of her throat and wandered aimlessly inside the house. The burning pain summoned fresh heavy tears and her cries got louder. She twisted her body in pain but his strong arms put her back in place. Lily attacked him with her frail arms. She scratched on his skin, leaving angry red slashes across his fatty chest and arms.

"It hurts! It hurts!", she screamed.

Lily heard footsteps approaching her room and she let out another loud cry. She gathered the last bits of her energy and pushed the heavy man off her, but he still didn't budge. The door slammed open, the loud bang shattered Benedict's gaze on her. The girl turned her eyes to whoever opened the door and the attempt to ask for help choked her. There stood Colin, his arms clutched tightly on his pillow and his horrified eyes widened as he saw the scene not too far from him.

'Big brother saw me... He saw me turn dirty'

Another set of footsteps dashed through the wooden floor and her mother had a look of horror when she saw what state Lily was in. She hurriedly covered Colin's eyes and turned to meet Lily's teary and mortified ones. The girl flinched when swirls of hatred and hostility resided in her mother's once warm eyes. It slashed her figure to a bloody mess and broke the fragile glass of her heart. Lily froze as the events sunk in. Her chest drowned in shame and something that pricked her heart a thousand times, she didn't know what it was. Messy strands of her hair clumped together from the sweat and force. Her chest heaved up and down as she tried to catch her breath. Lily's pure black orbs dulled as she met her mother's eyes once more.

"You slut!"

That night, her childhood was tainted with fiery flames of red and scary tendrils of black. The memory engraved itself on her heart with bold, blood red markings. So when did it all start?

It all started on that night. The very night she lost a mother.