I KILLED MY LIFE PARTNER ("SLOW POISONING")

I KILLED MY LIFE PARTNER

(SLOW POISONING )"

'From the first time I saw her I fell for her,

She was beautiful,

And that was one a more reason why I her.

From her view she thought I was too innocent for her,

But I tried the best I could to win the most beautiful woman on earth.

What inspires you when looking for a soul mate?; Is it the beauty, the Money etc.Most times we experience a lot about love and these experiences confuse us, most especially in our teenage love stories and we fail to understand the difference between love and possession. The more we fail to understand the difference, the more we would be affected when the right time comes and you have to get your spouse because you will have no idea on what you really are looking for from him /her.

I killed my life partner is just an example of a story of a young guy that married out of his own lusts and ended up turning him into a wild beast. He really tried but the ending of their relationship was really tragic.

This being a poetry book I tried to feature in some other amaizing poets and it's really incredible. This is a collection of poems featuring Starkings the Poet and other amazing poets.

Written by: STARKINGS THE POET.

List of Poems

1.I'Am Afraid Of Dying :Starkings The poet.

2.Behind the Curtains: Starkings Thepoet.

3.God's Love: Centy Storyteller

4.Hey There: Starkings Thepoet

5.Our Definition: Starkings Thepoet

6.Besides Me: Starkings Thepoet

7.Rape Of Nation 1: Starkings Thepoet

8.Tell Mama : Cykam Storyteller.

9.I Choose to be Happy: Starkings Thepoet

10.I Love You : Starkings Thepoet

11.Fake Love: Centy Storyteller

12.I Killed My Life Partner: Starkings Thepoet

13.Traumatized: Starkings Thepoet

14.To The Last Drop Of My Blood 1: Starkings Thepoet

15.Still in Love With Her: Starkings Thepoet

16.It Was a Mistake: Jackie Poet

17.God Forgive This Wicked Generation: Starkings Thepoet

18.Pushed to the Walls: Starkings Thepoet

19.I Miss You: Starkings Thepoet

20.My Heart Cries: Starkings Thepoet

21.Loving You: Jackie Poet.

1.I'M AFRAID OF DYING

I am afraid of dying,

And much less a death that isn't mine.

But what I fear the most is the fact that I have lived a lie,

Mysterious questions to answer in this life of mine.

My knowledge is too small for my mind to accommodate all this,

The more I try to understand the more I get confused .

Confusion comes from the fears in my mind,

I fear that a day will come and my life will just disappear in the thin air.

And there will be no one to remember me,

No one to define me.

Just because I lived in the pressures of my peers,

Until I became someone I was not.

Fake it until you make it,

I faked everything with so much exaggeration.

And until then,

Until then my life was a mess.

Until then the smoke of weed was implanted deep inside my mind and there was no turning point for me.

Yes I had the chance to be real,

But the craving didn't allow me to right the wrongs.

And so!!!

So I continued to live a lie until lies lived as a part of me.

The more deeper I got the more I was caged with lies.

I am afraid,

Afraid of facing my grave,

With many questions left unanswered.

My dreams of being an influencer was achieved,

But in worst way possible since I had the attention of all the young generation,

But too bad since I was just toying with their minds,

Fed their innocent minds with dirty contents until they were all dirty.

Despite knowing that it was never too late to change,

I still continued to keep their minds caged.

And now I am diagnosed with an addiction,

An addiction that will kill me any time.

But I still feel afraid of the death of the young generation and the future one.

I am afraid of dying,

And until I clean up my mess will I die.

2.BEHIND THE CURTAIN

Behind the curtain,

Behind the curtain,

Lay the river flow of my tears.

Behind the curtain,

Is where I could seat all alone with no body one by my side and

All the million friends were all gone.

But I still found a reason to smile,

A reason to be more contented before the same curtain.

Wondering why?

Because before the same curtain

He became the pillow that absorbed all my tears,

And the serviette that wiped them off ,

And placed a smile on my face in every tough times .

Before the same curtain,

He became the person one that gave me a shoulder to lean on every time I needed one.

I found a more comfortable place to run to,

As everyday went by I felt like I was so much loved and appreciated.

And I never cared of what people said about my love for Christ my King,

Some even went ahead asking me silly questions like that friend of yours,

Can you take a bullet for Him?

Thinking that I will be humiliated but it was the other way round,

Coz i answered with the boldness in me.

As He said in Luke 9:24 and I quote,

"For whosoever will save his life shall loose it ;

But whosoever looses his life for my sake, the same shall save it "

And is all the assurance I needed from a assurance I needed from a friend.

So behind the curtain,

Behind the curtain you went down to your knees to praise Hhis name.

Behind the curtain you tithed with faith privately so that no one knew,

Not even your family coz if they did you would be an outcast.

But before the curtain the Llord you praises in secret hears and answers your prayers in abundance,

Blessing your generation through you giving them salvation through you.

You were all He needed to bless your descendants ,

Named among the great, the father of all nation became your new name.

Your deiscendants are more like stars.

His because you left your god's you know to serving aA God you don't know.

As it is in Genesis 12:1-5.

A step of faith made Him the father of faith.

So brethren a clear and tougher challenge I present to you,

Can you take a bullet for the Wword?

Behind the curtains,

That we filled in a gap,

A gap that we face humiliations and persecution for this Wword.

Caged and denied the God given rights,

Wondering when are we going to be set free.

But before the same curtain He became the most faithful person and made us victorious and He broke all the bondage holding us,

And giving us the freedom that we never all deserved.

He became the pillar of hope in the midst of our suffering,

The pillar of faith in the midst of our doubts.

So brethren a more reason to fight,

Fighting being assured victory in the end,

And not afraid of death for His name.

Dying with assurance of life in heaven the most awaited place for every soul.

By Starkings the poet.

3.GOD'S LOVE

I was there wondering how I found myself ,

Locked in this deepest hole called life,

Questions flooding my mind on how I got my self here,

I wish I knew,

Tears rolling down my cheeks,

I was on the worst side of life,

I watched of how open of a book I was,

To create a library of events but none of them was great,

There's this side that always says everything will be alright immediately after every failure,

But there's this one that is kind enough to say am tired,

So, I turned to God and asked why me?

Why don't you just take me and end it all here?

The same God that created me this way,

I hated him and myself more,

And there I was summoned standing between two groups,

On my left was Satan with his demons,

On my right was God with his angels,

" she's mine I've always been there for her. Where were you when she needed you the most"?

Satan asked God.

" I've always been there only that I was too invisible for her to see" God answered as Satan struggled to pull me to his side.

" Why aren't you fighting for me?"

I asked God.

" You look so unsure of your self just look at your self"

God answered as I looked at my self surprised.

On my left, I was dark and on my right I was glowing,

" Leave her alone"

A light shouted as it approached us,

I could see fear all over the demons eyes as they shook with fright,

All the darkness was conquered by the light,

But " behold Son of the Most High" was all the angels said as they bowed down to worship,

"Do you remember this?"

He asked as he gave me the word of God: the Bbible,

" yes" I answered smiling,

" Then why do you question the love I and my father have given to you?"

He asked as I hid s my face due toin shame,

He then reminded me of John the Baptist and how he prepared the way for Hhis coming,

He reminded me of John 3:16 that for God so loved the word that Hhe gave His only begotten son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life,

He told me about Ephesians 5:25 that for Christ loved the church that Hhe gave himself up for it,

He told me about John 14: 23 that if a man loves him he will then keep Hhis words,

Then why do you question the love I and my father have given to you,

He told me how He was betrayed and beaten mercilessly,

How He died on the cross as Hhe stretched His hands and legs for me to see,

Tears rolling down His cheeks,

" then why do you question the love I and my father have given to you"

He asked as I knelt down and begged for salvation,

Then why do you question the love Hhe and His son have given to you,

4.HEY THERE

Hey there, are you still holding on to our promise?

Are you still trying to see the how we can get back to being best of friends and forget everything we shared in the last few days?

Our first kiss reminds us of the same thing, coz it was real and special to the both of us.

A lasting and unforgetttableeful moment it became to our minds, heart and soul.

A choice of two strong hearts to love each other till death

I'm not going to stop until I become your better half coz I love you to the moon and back.

I know I have kept the few promises I made but am sorry cause I just broke this one.

I can't stop loving you, thinking of you, dreaming of you,

You are everywhere in my life, my heart is with you so I can't be away from you.

My head aches me every time I think of getting riead of that love,

My heart is in disagreement with the decision I made,

But my heart is too broken to let you go.

Am sorry coz my unstable heart is making you make decisions that affects you

As a person you are kind and good- hearted person so please forgive me for this coz I ask to kiss you.

5.OUR DEFINITION

You have become a special piece planted in my heart,

And if uprooted then I don't see any other more reason to continue to fighting.

The love in my heart for you breaks me to my wmeakest and I can't afford to lose a beautiful creature like you.

I've definitely read a lot of books about friendship with the same meaning of friendship,

But we created a close bond making us define friendship in a different way.

The story we write on the sky is what makes people to admire our relationship,

It's not been an easy one but definitely it's been the amazing.

The fact that we have been fighting so hard to make sure we don't loose the battles,

You working out your side and I doing the same.

Honestly, I would have given up on everything and forgotten about it,

But with the how committed you are and how loyal you are to us, you have gone through hell to make sure we still stand,

And not just stand but we stand strong and still committed to our vows, slogan and everything that binds us.

You have changed a lot in me and I become better by the day,

With you I'm always smiling in the midst of my sob and you have hold my happiness in your hands and you are its control system .

With you I found a reason to fight for friendship , and put everything behind me and prioritize our friendship more than anything else in this world,

Coz we have shared moments that even c couples fail to share sometimes,

The simple moments of genuine happiness and ever smiling.

Every misunderstanding making them part ways and have the worst experiences of their lives in their favorite love stories,

But that brings us more closer to each other and we get the need to love and fight for what we all value the most.

Our hearts define friendship differently but in a beautiful way.

You are the supper woman in my life and that friendship love grew into something special to us,

Special because I can't get riead of it in a blink of an eye.

The feeling still drives me crazy,

And hope it surely does that for you so I pray we decide to stand the ground and fight besides each other.

And this time it will be just about us not wanting to care aboutof their words or rather theirand judgments,

One thing for sure I don't regret loving you, but I will regret if I loose u.

You are my life, my world and everything surrounding me revolves around you,

You are the missing piece of my heart and I will fulfill my promise of waiting for you no matter how long it takes,

Yes, I know I said I killed the hope of there being us but one thing that never dies is my love for you.

The death of the hope will really help a lot coz I won't be affected by anything and I will still fight for us.

Thank you for every single advice and for making me love myself more and learn to protect my innocence.

6.BESIDES ME.

Besides me is a beautiful and a strong woman,

Beside my heart at the left side there is a pure heart filled with love for me.

Besides us there is a full bond of love,

Two hearts filled with love communicating even without words.

Besides us there is a special connection that is only brought about by the happiest moments we share.

Besides me is a woman that means everything to me,

The world surrounding me is huge ,

Time tickling but all that could be useless to me without her.

She is my strength in my weakness,

My light in darkness.

My day shiner, she makes my dawn so bright .

With all the morning stars,

She stands out to be the only Venus on earth,

My Oasis in the middle of the desert.

Her beautiful smile drives me crazy,

A more I want to be part of her life,

Fight her battles and we come out victorious.

Our love desires to win,

Winning against the all the down low moments and everything that fights hard to part uis.

Besides us is a slogan, A slogan with so much life in it,

We ,together, forever, strong.

Strong to face anything,

Even though one of us can't win, but the both of us will win.

Because we are strong.

I love you besides me. Happy Birthday Love.

7.RAPE OF NATIONS 1.

I look deep into the mirror,

I see my broken self,

With so many questions running in through my mind.

Who is responsible for the rape of the nations?,

The rape of innocent generational minds.

The input of all the negativity in the innocent minds,,

On the definition of a she(A woman).

See a woman hasve the most toughest job in the whole universe,

The struggles of carrying a whole generation in theirher womb for nine concercutive months,

The nurturing of it into whatever they want the generation to become.

A brighter future they have always wished for their young generation.

But for me I'tom seating down on a quite tree shade,

Crying out my heart on just how we underrate them.

See we grew up and found them referred to as weak,

Now how can a weak person carry you a strong person in their womb for nine months and nurture you to being what you are now and then you call them weak?

Stupid you trying to justify your point that you are stronger than women just because you have muscle.

Being strong does not mean you have muscles on every part of your body,

But being strong is having the ability to pick up yourself and move,

Having the ability to face reality.

I hate the fact that we have been so manipulative and we have made them think that they are less valued ,

Making them overwork themselves to justify their strength.

And my mind still cracks itself with this question;

Who is responsible for the manipulated minds of this generation?

Responsible for the defilement of the young and innocent minds?

8.TELL MAMA.

Mama saw this picture,

Mama said I was innocent.

Mama missed those days,

When my mind was uncorrupted.

Mama missed those days,

When the world diseases I could not count.

But Mama the world has changed,

Yesterday they bombed Syria, and a gang raped Mirriam.

The County Governments stole millions.

It is like Sodom and Gomorrah all over again,

And evil is here to gain.

You see an apple fell, and Newton discovered gravity,

But bodies fall in Iraq, and no- body has discovered humanity. (I love this one)

Mama I'am scared ,

Let everyone beware bBecause no one is aware ,

If the human heart can care or just bare.

Someone tell Jesus I was in His DM,

Because now more than ever we need His direct mercy.

And when you chat with God,

Tell Him the church is rotten,

Bible teachings have been forgotten,

There are VIP seats in church,

But they are nothing but, visually impaired people.

Mama that's not all,

My age mates are taking a fall.

They avoid churches to go to the mall.

And when they see a pastor,

They fake a call.

The teacher tried moles and kilograms,

But all they had in mind were trolls on Instagram.

Mama tell them it's rude,

To waste meals on Instagram food.

And the worst of all chat with nudes,

Let's not even go to Twitter, Facebook and Whatsapp,

Because there you will find insanity and only hope God is up there.

Mama that's why I'am not innocent.

So mama when you miss those days,

Anticipate better days,

Because God works in in mysterious ways.

9.I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY

Happiness is that feeling that comes over you when you know that life is good and you can't help but smile.

One of the funniest things about the feeling is that and I quote "Happiness is a choice ". This means by this I mean that you have a choice to either whether to be happy or not. Yes, I know that a lot happens in life and they become an obstacle or hindrance to our happiness but that should not be an issue anymore since the keys to our happiness is inon the palm of our hands. All we need to do is to choose to be happy at all times and through out all circumstances. Remember to, put a smile on your face in tough times and don't let your enemy think that they have won. In this piece of art sadness /stress should be our worst enemyy. Every time .But every time you are sad, choose to smile and don't let anyone define your sadness.

One thing you should know is that the greatest obstacle to happiness is and I quote "When I get this then I will be happy "Having to quote what Prince EA, in his poem on Happiness entitled "Stop Wasting your life " When I get a job then I will be happy, but when you get a well- paying job, you still aren't happy, So you tell your self that "when I get a wife /husband and settle down and have kids then I will be happy, but you still won't find happiness .And you will keep repeating the same thing over the years wasting your precious life time till death snatches you from your family. It's crystal clear that we can never find happiness in circumstances. Many are those times that we tend to seek happiness from wrong places i.e People , circumstances and much more but we fail to understand that we are not perfect and we fail sometimes and that means we will be sad almost always if we give others the resby Almost everyone we meet in life coz we tend to so much from someone that we give the responsibility to make us happy. Now did you know that until you realize that happiness is a choice then you will continue to be held as a hostage by circumstances and you will continue to seek happiness in other people or possessions? Ask your self this question; do you want to be happy? If yes or yes meaning you don't have a choice, then make a choice to be contented. And give that smile the chance to shine through in your tough and brighter times.

I guess it's high time you now make a choice to be happy, keep smiling and you will surely find peace in your heart and mind and no one will be able to define your sob but can easily define your euphoria.

So it's high time you say no to being a hostage to circumstances and seeking happiness from people coz not even your life time partner can make you happy all the time. Everytime you are happy it's because you choose to be happy at that time and moment coz and beacuse you felt the well- being of things and you couldn't help but smile. If you chose to be happy at that time then you also have a choice to be happy all the time. Otherwise, Because happiness from people, are just hostages and they fade away . So you have a choice to make, whether to be happy or not; Make it wise.

By Starkings The Poet.

To every sad soul, stressed mind, disturbed heart.

To be continued.....

10.I LOVE YOU

Just I love you doesn't justify my love for you,

I feel like I should do more than that.

We were found in a unique way,

Our story is different from the rest

From best of friends to an unexplainable relationship with full of commitment.,

Now To lovers

,You stole my heart and kept it in your heart,

Your happiness was the only thing that matters and so I swide with you

To where your happiness was and

Ffinally I'm the happiest person on earth now,,

Knowing that your happiness is with me.

Honestly your being in my life is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Because of you I have a reason to be happy, a reason to love again..

You covered the void in my heart, you fixed the broken pieces of my heart and made it a whole again.

Happy Birthday Love, your birthday is more than just your birthday, but instead the new dawn of our love with a new beginning.

And like the seed shoots out of the soil and grows into a full grown plant, our love will shoot out of all the obstacles to being

A Star in the middle of darkness getting the chance to shine and everyone will live to desire such a love story.

A love story full of joy, a love story with perseverance, a love story that gives hope to every single soul that is broken.

Trust being it's foundation , our home is strong.

Communication, understanding being our routine, our relationship is strengthened.

And Christ being our pillar, we are more stronger.

The mother to my kid is u, and I will love you not only till the end of my life but till the end of yours too.

Happiest birthday Love, I love you.

11.FAKE LOVE.

The last time I fell in love,

Was the first time I hated love,

The last time I fell in love,

Was when love was defined as a beautiful thing created by the Most High,

When love came my way and gave me a reason to smile,

And with no doubt I knew it's me my heart he owned,

Love text messages of love and rose flowers each early morning,

Was a proof thatve its me he loved,

Seeing his face meant a lot,

He occupied the biggest part of my heart,

And my body didn't just yawn for his touch,

But his kisses that took me to heaven and back,

Missing him meant walking alone in a jungle,

Scared and terrified of loosing him,

In a nick of time a kiss of betrayal I got,

My heart broken to pieces,

I gathered my tears and filled an ocean of sadness,

When I met face to face with betrayal,

When a person I thought stole my heart,

Crushed it and threw it in a bin,

Love that I thought healed me stabbed me on my back,

The last time I fell in love,

Was the first time I hated love,

Love that I thought was a bed of roses,

And a walk in the park,

Is just another graveyard with hearts buried as bodies,

The first time I knew love was fake,

Is when sex and fornication was, prove that you love your boyfriend more,

And when a guy that dated Shiro, Shiko,Maggie and Carol,

All at the same time was considered the coolest of them all,

And a girl that slept with lots of men was the baddest of them all,

And faithfulness and virginity is a miracle in my area,

I knew love was fake when a boyfriend killed his girlfriend,

And a husband vice versa,

This universe and the people in it got the wrong perspective of love,

If love is really beautiful as they say then why does it hurt,

If love is to save lots of people then why does it crucify,

The last time I fell in love ,

Was the first time I hated love,

@centymayug

12."I KILLED MY LIFE PARTNER " ( SLOW POISONING).

The first time I saw her, I fell for her.

She was beautiful, and that was a one more reason why I desired to be more into her.

From her She thought I was too innocent for her,

But I tried the best I could to win the most beautiful woman on earth.

I like you, I like you too.

And that's how my nightmare begun, A love road trip to hell.

Feeling the imm-balance between us,

Because she was classy and expensive too.

And the other side I was just humble and more into that am poor.

Had to go an extra mile ,just to fit in her class.

Working three shifts a day, no blink of an eye seven days a week.

Sacrifice not appreciated, ,because all this is still not enough for her.

Did crazy things for her,

Parted ways with my closest people just to please her.

But no change, had to hold back my tears,

And give her the masked smile behind my tears.

Absorbing all that hopping for a change, aA change that was a nightmare to her.

She didn't care if I was hurting,

I saw everything turn against me right before my eyes.

All I built in years was ruined within a day,

A sacrifice for a withered love.

Frustrated with her love, being compared to people in her social class.

Where she gets everything in a snap of a finger,

Making me feel the guilt of hurting an innocent soul.

Oh! An innocent soul because her face was painted with so much innocence.

And I hoped that her heart had the same innocence, do not be confused by her innocent smile.

And dare to call an angel,

Because behind that unmasked smile,

Lay the source to the river of my tears.

I shed tears until that was normal, if a day passed by without a shed of tears it felt abnormal.

But still without her in my sight, I felt as if I was no more.

Addicted to her,

And loosing her was killing me more than the depression inflicted on me by her.

I hated the fact that she had painted the most innocent side to be her face,

Giving her the most deceiving looks.

Yet at the end of the day she had hooks with sugar daddies.

Her face looked innocent,

Unlike her heart pilled up with hundreds of abortions.

Denying the innocent creatures ones the chance to see the sunlight,

For her self- interests and gains.

I hate the fact that for the love I had for her I became her accomplice.

She stole the innocence in me and created a beast that grew slowly,

Like the slow poison I grew.

Killing slowly.

Died and resurrected, the innocent side of me is no more.

The old man is gone, I am forced to adapting to the changes in me.

Living in a human body but heartless.

No innocent words left to describe my personality,

New words joined my diary, including brutality.

The heart I had for humanity was stubrbed to death,

And buried in her conscious.

My careless answers left them in suspense,

Trials to change for her did me no good than turning me into a wild beast.

The money I started making was from a certain heist,

Filled my hands with more innocent blood until my conscious was questionable.

All this never frightened me,

I was used to her like this.

Until she slowly began to generate a human heart.

No more sugar daddies and that means no more abortions.

But for me that was too late,

Because I was more into women, drugs and all sort of things.

I never knew my sacrifices would someday turn her around.

She gave me chances to be a dad,

But the full- grown beast in me couldn't allow me.

I still pushed her into more abortions,

Killed her slowly every time

I blamed her for my new personality,

Inflicted her with the same pain she inflicted on me.

Because she had to feel how it felt having your heart being broken,

So grateful to life for the chance to have my sweetest revenge.

I turned her life into a living hell,

Sounded more like I had hell brought down to her feet.

But this time she was genuinely pure,

And she never thought of going backk in to her old life.

Left her in a pit to deal with her thoughts.

And she became depressed to that point,

She wasn't seeing the meaning of life anymore.

And she sounded more like a toy,

No more words to say, few movements for the day.

Didn't know what was running in her mind every ticking second,

And cared the less to know because I had given her the luxurious life of her dreams.

But turned her miserable life into hell .

She sur-passed my expectations,

Just when I re-considered to have a change of mind,

She hanged herself together with my six months old baby in her womb.

Found her dead underneath the roof of our room,

That's when every action of mine was fired back to my face.

Begun a new chapter of life knowing that I was responsible for their death.

The authorities didn't go deep into the matter,

Hence the Case Declared Closed.!!!

Years of living hunted down by the guilt,

Every time I walked into that house,

The memories came back fresh as if it was yesterday.

No sleep unless I drink to manipulate my mind.

Left with one option to make everything right,

Administered myself in a rehab to regain my old sense of humor back.

And after I was back to my senses ,

I majestically walked into the court room.

"Your honour I was responsible for my wife's and my six months unborn baby's death "

Judge, "what did you say you did? "

"I KILLED MY LIFE PARTNER "(SLOW POISONING)

THE

N

D

13.TRAUMATIZED

Still young ,

But iam better off when dead ,

Than living in hell .

The world is huge ,

With so much burden in it,

But That I i feel like I'm carrying all this on my shoulder.

I regret being born ,

Much less in a family with so much wealth but less very little love.

A house that sounds more like hell,

Fights and quarrels are the things I have grown getting used to.

Little attention from my parents

And then , there started to grow a void in my heart,

No parental love ,

With their narrow thoughts,s ,

They thought buying me expensive things,

Is showing me love.

But they forget all Ii need is abit ofa bit of attention,

Attention that for them to give sounds like a dream.

No one to tell what's troubling me.

14.TO THE LAST DROP OF MY BLOOD 1.

"I love you too.

I love you but my mouth and minds

Speaks a different tongue.

My heart knows that you are the only one making it beat with the fastest pulse,

Every time my eyes looks at yYou

But my mind is afraid.

In short I deeply love you but I'am afraid.

Afraid because I don't even know who you really are,

Coz deep inside I'am asking myself questions "Is he for real?" ,

Is what he what he seems to be?

Or is he just painting the bright side of himself

to please my innocent heart? "

If I have to answer your question,

Then yes, I am for real and I love you more than you think,

I wish I could have the power ,

The power to open my heart for you to see who is in my every pulse beat, of mine.

And every time I think of you the more in love I get to fall I fall for you,

I think of you every ticking second, so try to imagine how many days since I told you I love you and how many seconds are those,

Are you done calculating? That's how much big my love has grown for you.

I know I have grown to be a distraction to you,

And every time I'm around, you don't seem to concentrate on what you are doing,

I have your attention and I'm happy to know, so you just know that you have my 100% affection,

A genuine heart giving such love.

I know it's hard for you to admit and confess that love you feel in your heart for me,

But then you gotta to be brave, brave enough to face your lifetime crush.

Honestly, I am always real,

Yes, we might be coming from two different worlds, but what we feel is what unites the different worlds to being one,

Us to being what we are right now.

At least I found a reason to fight for you,

What I feel for you is what inspires my heart to be strong,

And never tire to fight for you .

15.STILL IN LOVE WITH HER

Her voice is the song that sings in my toungue

Tried erasing it by cutting off my toungue

but it still lives to ring in my mind .

Tried dislocating and resetting my mind ,

but it's still alive in my heart .

It's not as if I was happy letting her go,

but I was pushed to it ,.

And still something pushed me behind ,

The love Ii feel for her, .

Coz no matter how much harm she could do to me,

I would still be happy with her.

Lying to myself that things would change someday,

Trying to remember the best moments we shared together,

Imagining as if they were there at that moment.

But all was exactly the opposite ,

Coz things were just the same .

Kneeling down and apologizing for her own mistakes,

My time was all in vain.

No matter how much closer I tried being with her ,

She still pushed me away.

But I guess this was the reason why ,love

Was called blind , but this not just blindness,

But with some craziness in it

Coz despite everything, I wish she was here ,to know how

Much I love her

,So much to the at extentd that I'm waiting to

run into her arms & tell her I'm sorry.

I guess this is what love has turned me to,

Crazy but also love prisoner.

#Starkings

16.IT WAS A MISTAKE ...

/LOVE BLINDED

I know am weird ,

But that doesn't mean am weared

From the start, I knew that all this would be a mistake,

Yet I went ahead and tried it.

You see I kept on whispering to myself,

"All is gonna be okay. "

But nothing seemed to connect.

And even though I tried to understand,

But I guess there were many things that I had no idea on,

I guess I made my decisions in haste .

Well ... I thought maybe if I gave it some more time,

It would fall off my gulps.

Wish I had let it go from the first time I suspected you,

From that very night you came home late,

From the first time you raised your voice at me,

From that first time I smelt a new scent in your coat,

But well I got blinded by love ,.

Got blinded by memories,

Memories that gave me a smile of hope.

The hope of waiting for something long gone ,

The hope of having a happy family again.

And eEvery time ...

Beating myself hard ,

Where did I go wrong?,

When did I serve it cold? ,

Whyy , why did you change so drastically?.

What do I tell them? ,

Them that sung joyously a our engagement,

Them that served us , as royals in our wedding .

How do I face the world ,

The world I had abandoned

..by making you mine ,

Well guess nooo...

But thinking you were mine.

Well now you don't wanna see my face,

The face you once said you couldn't sleep without .

Now you say I stink, I make you sick,

What happened to the butterflies you once felt each time I hugged you?

What happened to the goosebumps you once had every time I touched you? ,

What Happened to the shy eyes you had each time you saw me?.

I wish I could join the dots ,

I wish I could answer and comfort myself,

I wish I could understand all this .

Come answer your puzzle,

Don't make me sip on something I can't digest in my stomach,

@ Jackie poet

17. GOD FORGIVE THIS WICKED GENERATION

God forgive us

God forgive this wicked generation we live in

Coz this is the only generation where sin is not sin until is done behind the scenes.

God please forgive this wicked generation,

Coz this is the only generation that hides thieves in the society and ends up crying to the government to help the society.

So this is the only generation where killings are habitts and no longer a sin, corruption is a hobby and no longer a crime.

So crime crime scenes .

So am sick ake and tired of waking up every day in a crime scene.

Blood sheds all over the country.so politicians are busy painting the country red, when we the simple painters are struggling to paint the country white with peace.

So this is the only generation where peace means nothing compared to violence.

So today it's gender based violence, tomorrow it's human right violations.

The generation where injustice means justice for many, so the only affordable justice to get is the mob justice on the street for the thieves..

So God please forgive us and this wicked generation ,coz this is the only generation where fathers reap what they sore ending up breaking their daughters innocence..

The generations where money is more valuable than people's blood.

The generation whereby money is more valuable than people's innocence.

The generation where we can kill for money.

As they say "God made man, man made money and money made man mad".

So God please Forgive us and this wicked generation.

The generation where we fail to be responsible for our mistakes finding solutions by putting blames.

So believe you me when I say that I hate people finding excuses for their mistakes ending up to blame the 21st century forgetting that each and every one of us stands for a living generation.

So the generation is not the century. The generation is you, the generation is me which includes everyone.

We are the generation.

18.PUSHED TO THE WALLS.

Pushed to the walls,

Led to the death of an innocent creature,

Sin according to the scripture.

Pressured as if being pregnant is a taboo,

What's the hullabaloo ?

Who's the father ?

And where is that bastarured that got you pregnant?

Confused, she says I don't know.

What?

Since she had to try the taste of Brayo , Kevo and Monte.

Trying to consult them but they are nowhere to be seen ,

Gone behind the scenes.

Brayo is no longer in the picture , but seen within another

chick .

With her unreasonable mind ,

Abortion remains her only optionals.

Stupid to believe that Jonte was her last hope.

What a nightmare she had to bear.

With her right set of mind she would say I will keep the child.

But the pressure was too hard for to withstand ,

One nightstand at the first eye sight we say.

But didn't think of the consequences ,

Because of herself interests & gains .

Her Papa failed to provide ,

Her Mama "You know what?"You' are a big girl now

So go and hustle.''

Not trying to underestimate her ,

But no job for her .

Coz her age is under the age for one to be called an adult.

Pressure from both sides of the world ,

Circumstances snatched her beautiful smile .

Poverty made her to go around sleeping on every man's

bed for her most basic needs,.

So tragic.

No one to help her ,

No one to support her .

And these are the struggles she goes through in her day to day life .

I'm not trying to protect her ,

Not trying to defend her either,

And neither am I trying to support her .

But just trying to speak the fact and some sense into

your little mind .

She is a human being too ,

She deserves her rights like you.

So stop !being unrealistic.

And make your minds elastic,

For accormodation of all this.

Coz i woun't stop until you stick this in your little set of mind.

Where is that love of a father for a daughter ?,

A love of a mother for child?.

TO BE CONTINUED.

19.I MISS YOU

I miss you,

I miss that smile on your face ,

Which made gave you have baby's dimples on.

I miss the fact that we could quarrel and even

break up but love still brought us together in the funniest way,

When we all remember how much we

were into each other and we could not stay a ticking second

without the presence of our love bothering us,

The dreams we shared were too big for us to let them be swept away by the winds,

and assume as if nothing happened between our worlds.

Cause you know me in and out the same way I do

I wished I could tell the whole world that yes, I do.

Take you for a partner in life and death to be my wife not

just to the end of mine but to yours too.

Sad and happy, confused emotions.

Sad because I am

responsible for the broken trust and my jealousy was the key ,

Happiness comes from learning my mistakes and re-correcting them,

Sadness from the million dollar apologies, without the hopes of being forgiven.

I miss You,

I miss us.

I miss the un-ending promises we could make even if life wasn't going to let

Them come true because our love was a forbidden kinda one,

But my happiness came only that time we stood together and fought against

all the odds.

Sadly I made you give up the amazing dreams we shared and am, so sorry!!!.

But I miss you so much.

I miss you,

I miss us .

I miss the unending promises we could make,

Even if life wasn't going to let them come true.

Because our love was a forbidden kinda one,

But my happiness only came those times we stood together and fought against all odds.

I miss you,

I miss you besides me.

Your presence was all I needed to stand against their beatings.

The worlds beatings are hard for me without you by me.

Someone that became my bundle of joy in the middle of my tears,

Wiped them off and covered them with a beautiful smile.

I miss you,

I miss that special comfort from special someone special.

You could hug me so tight as if someone was going to steal me from you,

Kiss me as if there was no tomorrow.

I miss all that .

The fact that all I have left are memories of your pains,

But as it is no pain no gain.

I miss you.

By:Starkingthepoet.

20.MY HEART CRIES

So the furthest I have been to was on a a love trip,

So I loved this chick ,

And my love for her was so much deep.

For seven months of courting her with no hope of winning her,

Her name still remained to be Jenny.

So for me she was the girl of my dreams,

But our differences couldn't allow ,

Our worlds were too different for our love to stand the ground .

Setting eyes on her was a reason for me to believe in love again.

But my heart cries

The how much I loved her couldn't matter ,

The how much genuine my love was for her , meant nothing.

But the question was and is still what do I have to offer?.

It's so sad loving and being taken for a joke,

Cracking it so hard and laughing in silence.

As they said if you can't win then join them,

I joined in laughing and came back crying in silence.

So the only things that felt my pain, was my heart for the how much it loved,

And pillows for the how much of my tears it absorbed every night.

My heart cries.

21.LOVING YOU

I once felt like love wasn't made for people like me

Felt like real care was an out- there phenomenon

Until I first set my eyes on you..

I can't imagine how life would be without you

I can't even figure out how I used to survive without you

I hate them times I had no idea

But meeting you is a choice I made best

Hold me tight and let's forget the world

Forget about it's piercing tactics

Don't count them minutes when am with you

Just let time rotate around us

I wanna fall asleep on your chest

Let your heart beats sooth me to sleep

I don't wanna watch the stars anymore

The sparks in your eyes are enough to make my night

Let your warm breath flow through my lips

You see ...

I won't even need a blanket for I got you to wrap me

Love , the world itself is a misery

Hold my hand and let's venture into our own land

Enjoy the fruits of our love ...

Just you and me

I wish I had left my ex early enough

For you make me feel like I missed a lot

You're the reason I feel soo alone during the day

But your pictures keeps me smiling

You're the reason why I believed in love again

Jackie Poet

Edited by:Joy M. Kiriungi.

Special thanks to:Joy M. Kiriungi

Cykam Storyteller

Centy Mayug

Jacky Poet.