Eyes and Beasts

Selda spang upward with a violent splash. She coughed and spat as she tried gasping for air. Her lungs were inflamed with the coarse rush of air and the exertion of her lungs. Her stomach squeezed, forcing Selda to bend forward and vomit the bile stored within to now rend through her throat and splash before her. The tumultuous ejection left her lightheaded, causing her to wobble and then fall backward when she tried to stand straight. She splashed around violently in the pitch darkness until she could feel her feet kick solid ground. Pain racked her toes, but Selda was able to ignore it long enough to finally burst upward again. She repeated her coughing and spitting, but this time under more control as she was able to suck in some air before she plunged. Once she was able to catch her breath and wipe her eyes, Selda look around her to find that she was indeed in pitch darkness. She turned her whole body in a vain attempt to see around her, seeing nothing and hearing only the splashing around her waist, her heavy breathing, and her heart thundering in her ears. Wherever she was, Selda wanted out, but she was too paralyzed to move, and her throat was too tight to scream.

She wrapped her arms around her naked body and shut her eyes. Her focus sifted through the flood of questions she had and the images of horrors that may yet come for her. Finding solace only in thoughts of her friends, and even a few of her other sisters. But even those thoughts became ruinous as the memories of the trials came forth. Memories of swinging strained arms through the bitter cold and plunging deep into the abyss only to awaken next to a raging inferno. She then remembered a ferocious clash followed by a heinous betrayal that led to a scourge of fear and pain, which was painted red and black before her eyes until only black remained. Selda's spine tingled and cooled at the haunting realization. She shook her head, whispering no to herself over, and over again. Her body began to shake as well as tears poured down her face and her stomach began to squeeze again. She did not even try to fight it as vomit escaped her mouth. She spit out the acrid bile as she continued to completely break down. Selda always knew her life would end, bitterly even, if she took the Valkyrie's path, but even still the reality was more than she, let alone anyone, could bear. Especially now knowing where she would end up. But during her hysteria and despair, Selda heard a clear buzzing sound. She immediately opened her eyes and tried her best to look around. Panting and tense, she wanted to scream out to whatever made the buzzing sound but still her throat closed tight. Pangs of shame from the fear she felt gripped at her innards, causing whatever resolve to diminish completely. All she could do now was cry and await whatever terrors came to her.

What came next, however, was no terror of Hel, but instead emerging, soft colored, small glows that led straight ahead. Selda staired at the brilliant, multicolored path before her. She could not tell whether the glowing came from rocks or something else, but either way she was woefully hesitant to move in that direction. Especially with the sound of the buzzing still present. She waited a long while and when she saw that nothing else was occurring, Selda forced a step forward. Then another, and another until she spread her arms out to comb what she thought water, back while she inched her way forward. After feeling no, jagged surfaces or holes as she walked, Selda began to stride forward more confidently. And although she could still hear the buzzing around her, she used that frightful feeling of it to stir her forward rather than keep her in place.

The splashing liquid began to recede and soon enough, she found herself on moist but completely solid ground. Selda still could not tell where it is she was and what she was standing on, but she chose not to waste time investigating out of fear of what she may find. She instead chose to continue along the path laid out by the multicolored things and the incessant buzzing that seemed to be following her. Selda knew it was foolish, but she hoped that maybe there was a chance she was not in Hel, and that these guiding lights led to a friend. But however foolish the idea was, it was the only thing keeping Selda's heart steady as she trudged carefully forward.

Selda walked for what seemed like miles in this strange world with nothing but the constant flecks of light guiding her through the void and the buzzing that kept following her. No walls, no air, no heat, no cold. Just nothing. And stranger still, for as long as she walked, Selda hardly felt tired. She began to noticed after her mind calmed down a bit over the course of her journey. But though it came to mind, Selda was too afraid to ponder it further. Because not only was she not tired, but she was also not hungry nor thirty either. This further solidified in her subconscious that she was in Hel, and even a small fragment of her mind wished it was so. That she was just a dead spirit rather than being anything less than human, in spirit or otherwise. To reassure herself as she walked, Selda brushed her skin with her fingers, touched her face, and just felt her own movement. Feeling her legs stepping ahead of one another, the skin around her eyes and that which also covered her nose, her tongue licking against her teeth, her lips pursing tight, and even the moisture that still clung to the hairs above her vagina, reminded Selda that she was still herself. That she was still human. Never again, she thought, would she take for granted her senses. She promised herself that as soon as she was out of here and returned home, that she would cherish ever harder the feelings the world gave her, whether they were physical or emotional. Though first, Selda would have to become very familiar with her fear.

Her journey led her towards, from what she could tell through the faint light, steps that led downward. She hesitated at first to move, but the sudden increasing intensity of the buzzing that followed Selda force her feet forward. The steps were solid enough and a lot bigger than she imagined. As long as she took her time, she was not afraid of slipping downward or falling off to the side. So, she descended carefully. Continuing to follow the faintly glowing things until she reached the bottom. Upon realizing the ground was stable, Selda kept moving forward. Though she now questioned who built the stairs she descended from and for whom? She would not even have time to ponder the question as she heard another frightening buzz appear. She could not tell from where as there was a slight echo to the noises, but she could definitely tell that two somethings were buzzing around her. Then three, then four, and so on and so on until there was a chorus of buzzing around her. Selda instantly held herself again, letting her tears flow as she timidly continued following the faint glowing things. Too afraid to stop as any cease of motion seemed to agitate the buzzing somethings, and too afraid to run as she could still not see far ahead at all.

Wavering and whimpering with her head low, keeping an eye on the glowing path ahead, Selda almost missed the far away moon that watched her, or so that is what it looked like to her. She looked up by chance and saw it, this white sphere hovering high off to the side of her. It seemed like just some glowing rock but the longer Selda stared at it, it seemed to actually stare back. She quickly turned her head back down and began to walk again, though now hearing what sounded like large rhythms of repeated taps. Almost as if something was scuttling near her. Her fearful mind conjured images of giant spiders or ants, thinking that she might be in their cave and the glowing things were leading her to their larvae to feed her to them. Selda had to quickly rationalize that if that were the case then why did the creatures not just take her there themselves? No, she reasoned instead that she was in a strange world, surrounded by strange creatures, but whatever commanded them demanded an audience with her. Though partly right, the truth was still nonetheless terrifying.

"Ahh, you made it." Said a frighteningly familiar voice. Selda stopped at the end of the trail of glowing things and swiveled around panicky. The buzzing and scuttling seemed now distant but why did it have to be her voice that replaced them she thought.

"N-Niel..." Selda stammered. She felt something grab her hand and on reflex she screamed and jerk it away. Falling hard on the ground. She heard the strange girl's sinister laughter as she said,

"In the flesh."

"W-where are we? What are we doing here?" Selda questioned, looking around for Niel and not bothering to rise again.

"Well, we are in the dark side of Álfheimr, though we recognize it as Alfheim, the realm of the elves," Niel answered, seemingly walking around Selda from what she could hear. "As for what I am doing here… for now I am cataloging some rather… interesting creatures. As for you… well that depends on you."

"W-what do you m-mean?" Selda asked shakingly.

"Well…," Niel dragged out, as if she was mockingly pondering something. "You have two choices ahead of you. You can either serve me as my guardian into the dark unknown, or I can give you back to Hel. Though I would rather you just serve me as I traded quite some rare material for your body and soul."

"Wait…" Selda quivered. "I died?"

"Ah, yes… sorry about that," Niel laughed. "But yes, you did. After Yulla and I left you to the ice goblins, they smashed you to a bloody pulp. I did not get to witness it unfortunately but I was still able to hear the sickening pop of your organs and the crack of your bones," Niel recounted almost reverentially. "And not even a peep out of you! Quite the bold face compared to the one you wear now." Anger surged forth past Selda's terror. For the first time since she had been here, she was finally feeling hot.

"You fucking bitch," She growled. "If it wasn't for you! I would be-" Behind her came a massive, guttural noise that sounded like a distorted mixture between the growl of a wolf and the bleating of a goat. She could even feel the beast's agitated breath on her entire back.

"Huh uh huh," Niel tsked. "Don't want to agitate my dear pet. She's quiet tired of eating centipedes as you should know so I would settle down if I were you." Niel chuckled in the dark against the breathing of the beast behind Selda. Whatever it was, Selda could feel it was huge and while it did reignite her fears, Selda was too furious to let them completely over take her again. She calmed her fiery panting, which even rivaled the beast itself, long enough for her to ask,

"What the fuck do you want? You already got a guardian so why need me?"

"I require a clear headed and more… conspicuous guardian along my travels. And as for what I want," She truly pondered this time. "I don't know truly. For now I guess, it's just to follow the path a knowledge set forth by Allfather Odin himself and knowledge seekers like him."

"But for what? What is your end scheme?" Niel laughed at Selda's question.

"Does one need an end scheme to learn? Such a simple way of thinking." She responded airily. Selda wanted nothing more than to grab her neck and wring the life out of it, but lunging for her would be suicide. For not only could she still not locate Niel, but there was now this great beast behind her ready to tear her a part. And though she could scarcely remember her first death, she would rather not endure another without at least a fighting chance.

"Besides, you'll find my service much better than serving at the beck and call at the foot of the Allfather." Niel said matter of fact.

"How the hell would you know?" Selda spat.

"Come with me and find out." Niel said eagerly and, surprisingly, wishfully.

Selda did not see or hear it for sure, but she could still feel Niel's extended hand in front of her. It was not much of a deal, but with her alternative being another gruesome death, the answer was ultimately decided. She took Niel's cool hand and even in the dark, Selda could scarcely see her toothy, wicked grin.