lan Zhan at tha age of 13

~Lan Zhan at the age of 13~

Playing Wangji on the steps of Jingshi, warm sun caresses my face as the tendrils of my hair dance to the tunes of chimes tethered above. A butterfly fluttering its wings comes to rest gently on Wangji as if acknowledging his sheer beauty. Watching the butterfly  breathe, I have come to envy her. How does it feel to spread your wings and fly? The colour on her wings are subtle brown and yellow. Mesmerizing. Suddenly we're disturbed by a pair of footsteps and she flies away never to be seen again. Somewhere a small pang of  pain lingers within me. 

"Oh, I am sorry." A young female disciple bows down, "I wasn't aware that you're here, Second Master Lan." Walking towards me with a smile, I realise she is one of the new and few female cultivators in Gusu.

"My name is Zhi Ruo." Her smile widens, "This is the first time I am talking to Second Master Lan."

What do I say? Do people even talk to me?

Why are you talking to me?

When she receives no reply from me, the young disciple continues, "They weren't lying that young master Lan Wangji is the second most handsome man in the entire realm." She grins shyly.

Well I am shocked. They say that? That's absurd.

"You have an angelic face." She whispers and takes few more bold steps. Just as she is about to touch me, I move away. What is she trying to do? It's my luck that brother saves me in time.

"Wangji" he calls out and my gaze seeks his. Through his warm eyes he's asking me if I am alright? My answer was just to blink and he instantly knew that I am uncomfortable. Turning his gaze to the young disciple he warmly addresses,"Lady Zhi Ruo, you're new here, so you aren't aware of the rules, but please learn them before you're punished. Interaction with opposite sex is prohibited in Gusu."

Her eyes widen and she bows down respectfully, "I apologise Zewu-Jun. Second Master Lan." She turns to leave but not without one last look at my direction.

Strange.

Taking a seat next to me Gege grins and teases, "Seems someone has romantic feelings for my Wangji." I look at him perplexed.

Feelings? Who has feelings for me?

He sighs and smiles sadly, "She, Wangji. That young female cultivator."

"Why would she have feelings for me? We just met!" At my obliviousness he shakes his head.

"Wangji, it doesn't matter, if you've just met a person or known them forever. Feelings are feelings. You can develop them in seconds." At his words an image of the young boy from street flashes in front of me.

"Gege?"

"Hm?"

"Is it good to have feelings?" At my question his eyes melt, "Yes Wangji, having feelings for someone is a wonderful thing."

Is it true? Gege would never lie to me.

"Wangji, I have to visit Yunmeng Sect soon, do you wish to accompany me?" My eyes light up and he laughs sweetly,"Alright, I'll inform Uncle." Patting my shoulders he leaves and I watch his receding back. Whenever he travels to Yunmeng Sect, brother always asks me to accompany him and this gives me an opportunity to visit an old friend's abode.

Reaching the docks, Gege turns to enquire, "You sure don't want to come to Lotus Pier with me? Yunmeng Sect Leader would be happy to welcome you." He sighs when I don't give him a reply.

Politics is something I was never interested in.

Nodding he and rest of Gusu members follow Yunmeng disciples whilst I choose the other way.

Streets of Yunmeng have now become much friendlier to me. Walking down a long path that my feet have graced on multiple times, I reach the same spot. Nothing has changed, except you.

Where are you?

I have enquired so much about you, but no one remembers the young lad. It's as if you haven't existed for any of them. Only for me. They have no memory of you. Only me.

A Memory of you there

It pains me in here

You don't even know me

But it's you

With whom I want to be.

It's in your smile

That I find some solace

When I sleep forever

I hope to reminisce your face.

It's a bitter feeling. Not being able to find you here is sad, but at the same time, I am glad, that you're somewhere safe and happy.

As I turn, my steps halt and ears perk at the bouts of sweet and melodious laughter. My vision takes in to only see fleeting back of a young boy, dressed in black and red robes, hair tied up, but what steals my breath is that red ribbon. But before I could approach him, he disappears and I am being called.

"Second Master Lan, we have to leave." A disciple waits with his head bowed down. Turning away from the disciple, my eyes were eager to seek another glimpse of that red ribbon boy, but there was no one.

Was that him?

Could it be him?

I sigh.

Without another thought I leave.

As we float away, I make a promise as my heart could not take this further pain, never to return to Yunmeng again.

I turn my back away from the  beautiful Lotus City and weild the persona of an Ice Prince.

Little did I know that it would take my Wei two lifetimes to bring me here.