good bye wei

Watching you walk around Burial Mountain, greeting and being accepted by everyone around, I realised, you were right Wei. These ordinary humans needed a savior. Looking back at the promise we made together in Gusu, I am proud of you Wei. You stood by your conviction to help the poor and against injustice, but at what cost?

You stand there, smiling at the jokes, helping them til the barren land, but my Wei, your eyes look lost. I wish I could take you in the depths of these mountains, so that you can cry. Bring out all the emotions and tear down your wall. Can you hear me Wei? Let me be the salvation you need. Please.

Seeing your comradeship with Wen Qing, it pains me Wei. Not that I am jealous, I will never be of person who takes care of you. But it pains me that I am not here. Shall I leave Gusu? Shall I renounce my title to be with you? I want to. But there is someone waiting for me back there too.

Torn in a situation where I am unable to be with you, hurts me the most.

Do you know what's my deepest desire? It is to be with you, forever. Would I ever have the courage? You look so frail, my Wei. This is not the man I knew from before. You were radiant. You were beautiful. You were innocent.

Now?

Now you resemble the deepest and darkest sin in a person. Your aura is not pure but is resentful. Your smile has turned perfunctory. Having no emotions behind them. Everything about your abode reeks of unorthodox practices which would be forbidden by all the combined Sects.

Bringing back the soul of Wen Ning, is a commendable job but at what cost. Your health is deteriorating. Watching the person whom I cherish the most, living under such conditions, rips my heart out.

"Wei?"

"Lan Zhan" you smile.

"Will you be able to control this?"

With a solemn but yet convinced you answer "Yes, I can. I have no choice".

I hope you can control this Wei. Coughing blood and looking frail, come back with me, maybe I could protect you. But when I look around, I know there is no way the world would let me protect you, let alone the entire Wen Clan.

Even under these tense moments when you choose to lean your head on my shoulders, the fleeting happiness will always be treasured by me.

"Lan Zhan" I detect sorrow in your voice "I apologise, we never have any guest. I am unable to give you tea" you look away and all I want is to gaze into your eyes for eternity. These don't matter to me. What matters is you.

"Wei, are you sure you want to continue in this path?" I yearn to hold your hand. Feel the warmth of yours skin under mine. In that moment, I yearned to embrace you.

"Lan Zhan, do I have a choice? These people are innocent and I have no other method other than using Stygian Tiger Seal to protect them. How can I leave them now for it was for them that I walked away" you turn to leave your abode and I stand there, all alone, feeling bitter for I am unable to be here with you.

Turning to leave, you offer to walk me back and I follow you. You walk ahead of me and you don't realise this Wei, but I follow every footprint of yours. I am glad the path is narrow so you don't turn behind, because every step forward has only one set of footprint. Mine above yours.

If I can't actually be with you, then let me be with you for every step you take. The gloomy energy around does not dampen my mood, because these are those few moments that I get to have you and no one would be able to judge us, my Wei.

As we reach the exit, I know my time has come and so has yours. That one moment will last with me for a lifetime. Your longing gaze and my faltering heart. Together a pair that will be torn apart.

"Thank you, Lan Zhan. You coming here and informing me about Shijie's marriage, I will be greatful to you forever".

I see your melancholy smile and I remember our kiss. Has it been that long? Was it not just this year? Did I not give you my first? You were my first. You stole my heart and I gave you my first kiss. Will you back away if I caress your pale face with my fingers? Will you laugh if I cup your chin? Will you balk if I kiss your forehead? Wei, could I pour out my feelings to you here? Why, why do I feel this is a goodbye?

Will we not meet again?

This is a goodbye, isn't it?

I have one more thing to say... but a sweet angel yet again clings to my leg. "Elder brother, please don't leave. Stay back" A Yuan pleads.

This child's energy is so pure. May it prosper under the tutelage of Wei.

"A Yuan" Wei smiles and picks him up "Lan Zhan, has to leave. He won't be able to stay back"

"But I heard there is a feast. There will be delicious food tonight" A Yuan pouts and Wei looks hopefully at me.

No Wei don't. Don't look at me with such intense emotions. I won't be able to stay. Being here itself has been risky, if I break the curfew, I would loose all my chances to see you forever and that I am unable to do.

"I have to leave" my voice is calm but not my soul.

"Alright, Lan Zhan, farewell and take care" he smiles and as I walk past him, his fingers brush against mine. Our eyes meet and so many words are left unsaid.

Thank You.

🄶🄾🄾🄳 🄱🅈🄴

I secretly watch A Yuan clinging to you from behind the trees "Will rich brother ever be back?" A Yuan questions with hope. "I don't think so" you answer with bitter sadness. "Why not?"

"Because everyone has their thing to do, he has his too" you pick him up and play with him. The last I hear is your lingering laughter and I cherish those moments.

Walking out of the Burial Mountain, I never realised that it was indeed a goodbye. The next when we meet, would be on the battlefield and then, even if I cry, it wouldn't have mattered. I would have lost you forever.

Walking out of the Burial Mountain, I never realised that it was indeed a goodbye. The next when we meet, would be on the battlefield and then, even if I cry, it wouldn't have mattered. I would have lost you forever.

"Wangji!!!" a voice thunders as I enter Cloud Recess and the sect comes to an utter standstill. Looking up, I watch my uncle stride towards me, with wrath in his eyes "I warned you and yet you did not pay heed" I bow and cast my eyes down.

"Bring the Iron Rod" he commands and quickly a deciple scatters to obey the command. Turning away from me, he walk upto the pavillion and commands "Kneel" and I obey.

"Pay heed Wangji, this time, I shall not cane you, but there won't be a next time. If you disobey, you know the consequences. Bring your hand forward" he places the iron rods in my hand and my punishment begins. With a dire warning, he leaves and I wait. Wait for my memories of Wei, because in the end these don't matter. If I get to spend a moment with Wei, then it is worth it.

Time is of no essence as I reminisce his skin under mine. His smile is for me and his laughter a melody. The music of his Chenqing is a balm to my parched soul and his last touch is a solace for me.

My Wei.

My Wei Ying.

My Yiling Patriarch.

Strange is time, that once I had kneeled on the same snow filled ground when I was young. I wonder if you would have been there, would you have consoled me? We hadn't met right? Is it too late to ask you now, if you remember me?

When I think of you, nothing matters. You're name is my prayer, your thought is my meditation.

I just have one request, never forget me wei. Cause in this lifetime or any, I won't ever forget you, my Wei.

If you burn, Let's burn together, Be it heaven, be it hell. Be it this mortal world, Or any realm.

"Wangji" my brother calls my name as I play my Zither "Are you sure you won't join us at the wedding?" without looking up, I shake my head.

Where my Wei is not invited, there is no use of me there.

I hear him sigh and he leaves.

The next one year, I keep up my promise. I don't meet Wei, but that does not mean, I can't see him. Secretly.

Once a month I come down to Yiling and quietly watch my Wei, walk around the market with Wen Ning. Unable to come forward, I cherish his presence from afar. I wish I had courage to be with him, cause soon the events that took place, even if I wanted, I could never be with him.

"You went to Yiling today" my brother enters Jingshi and takes a seat opposite to mine.

"Hm" I don't deny.

"You know if uncle finds out, the punishment would be severe" my brother warns and the concern in his voice makes me look at him. I nod.

"He asked me not to meet him. I haven't. I watch him from afar. He has no idea" I look at my brother and I see his sad eyes.

Not much for words, he takes out his Liebing and plays for me and I close my eyes and think of the man who can't be with me.

Alright, I have exhausted all my tissues. You guys?

🅃🄷🄰🄽🄺 🅈🄾🅄 🄵🄾🅁 🅃🄷🄰 🅁🄴🄰🄳🄸🄽🄶 🄰🄽🄳 🄸 🄰🄼 🅂🄾🅁🅁🅈 🄻🄰🅃🄴 🄻🄰🅃🄴 🅄🄿🄳🄴🅃🄴🅂