Rin's Soliloquy

I watched my father with rapt attention, my eyes glued to his face in awe.

He was a tall man with a deep-featured face, his lips always closed and his body always projecting a cold and harsh aura. It felt odd to me that he was patting my head.

No, that's not quite right.

He obviously didn't know how to adjust his strength to a child, because with how much strength he was using it would be more accurate to say that he was grabbing my head and mashing it around.

It was to be expected though. He wasn't in my life for my early days; therefore, the concept of parenthood was still a new experience for him. Truly speaking it wasn't entirely his fault as this was the first time, he'd ever patted my head.

"I'll have to get going now. You know what to do now, right?"

I answered the deep voice with a polite, yet sorrowful "yes". He was leaving already.

The man patting my head nodded quickly, before standing up and leaving the room.

...So, that was it.

If I'd known back then that this would have been our final moment together, I would have done more, I would have tried to make him laugh with my best jokes, or perhaps made him a special meal.

I had practiced telling jokes a lot, in hope that one day I could bring a smile to that cold stoic face. I guess you could say I was sad that I could never tell him any of them.

"Keep safe and train your magic ability Rin. As the representative for the Tohsaka familu, you need to prepare for anything."

Those were words he often spoke. Back then I was too young and naive to understand their meaning. I always used to think he was trying to pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on me to become the best, however I guess that was his own way of showing concern and worry.

Before he'd left, he told me about the heirloom jewels, the jewels inherited from the master, and how to manage the basement.

As he told me all the things I didn't yet know, I realized even as a child.

―――That most likely...

He wouldn't be coming back.

...After all a war had started.

Not a war between countries, but a war between people.

But the only ones at war were ten people, ten special individuals.

In a situation like this, the word "war" should be unsuitable, but here it was a different story as the ones in conflict were known as magi.

The ten magi, each with different goals, had started to compete for unknown reasons and killed each other in unknown ways.

The man standing before me was one of them.

He too was in a position to kill or be killed.

He must have known more keenly than I did that his time was near.

"Rin, the Holy Anima Grail will appear eventually. It is our duty as the Tohsaka family to win it. More importantly, if you want to be a magus, you can't avoid it. It is a path you will eventually have to follow."

Another fleeting memory of my father's words on the last day I was with him, however that was it, that was the end. There were no more.

That was the last time I saw the man, who entered the Holy Grail war as a master and died. The man who was my teacher as well as my father, as well as a friend.

"Take care, Father.", that was the last thing I said to him. At that time, I had tried my best to see him off politely, with no tears. I knew I was on the verge of crying, I tried to shed no tears, but I couldn't help myself.

I loved him.

He was a great father and a great magus.

Among magi, there were many who were obstinate and selfish. People who only cared about themselves and saw everyone as nothing more than just tools. But he was different, behind his cold facade I could feel a certain warmth.

In the whole world, I don't think anyone had a better character than his.

He taught me as a teacher and loved me as a father.

That's why I decided...

To choose my path according to what he left me in the end.

'――――Rin, the Holy Anima Grail will appear eventually.

It is our duty as the Tohsaka family to win it. More importantly, if you want to be a magus, you can't avoid it――――'

In the end, he left me those words as a magus and not as a father.

That is why at that moment, my path was determined.

"――――All right. I'll do my best to be a proper magus―――"

It's only natural for a student to follow the words of their teacher.

Since then, through many twists and turns... I, Tohsaka Rin, have matured.

It had been ten years since the winter day on which my father went to war.

I hadn't exactly been waiting for this moment, but I was excited. It was only natural, after all my whole life had been building up to this moment.

The event that through the course of my life I had never forgotten about was about to start――――

"...Hm."

Something was ringing.

Brrring. Brrring.

"...Shut up. Stop it."

The sound didn't stop.

It rang repetitively again and again, loudly as if it were an enemy attack.

"...What? Come on, I was up late last night, so..."

It should let me sleep in a bit longer.

No, it has to let me sleep in.

Yesterday I was deciphering my father's will until early this morning, and I'd used up much magical energy to do so.

In other words, my mind and body were dead tired, laziness taking over my body.

"Ah, geez――――you're really stubborn huh."

Brring. Brring. Brring. Brring.

The alarm clock continued on ringing. Seeing this sight I snickered a bit, I mean the alarm clock didn't speak my language.

So why did the ringing sound like it was telling me "You're going to be late"?

"...Late... Being late is bad..."

Though that depends on the situation.

I'm a good student, but maybe I could get to school at the last moment just for today.

"...That's right... I set the alarm thirty minutes early, so I should be able to sleep for thirty minutes more..."

――――Huh?

Isn't that strange?

"...Set it thirty minutes early...?"

I looked at the alarm clock drowsily.

The clock was pointing exactly at seven.

I usually got up at six thirty, so the spare thirty minutes had already been used up.

"...Hm."

I stared at the alarm clock for several seconds.

Shutting it off, I decided to get out of bed.

Passing through the cold hallway, I entered the cold living room. Everything was cold about the household. It contained no warmth at all just an icy sense of dreariness.

It was seven o'clock on the last day of January.

Fuyuki City was usually pretty warm in the winter, but this morning it was as cold as any other city, or perhaps I was just imagining things.

I could even see my breath indoors, and on top of that, there was no one else in the house to warm it up.

"Heater, heater..."

Turning on the heater, I headed to the bathroom.

At times like this, living by myself was a bit inconvenient.

If there were someone to wake up before me, the living room would be warm by now. Or, maybe I was seeking a different type of warmth.

I washed my face at the sink.

I brushed my long hair and got ready.

A cold morning, a cold sink, a cold home.

It seemed that everything around me was cold in one way or another. Even my cheerful heart had become frozen.

I hoped internally that someday someone could melt the thawy ice in my heart.