The Hug

I was undecided whether to tell him my problem or not.

- Arslan.

- Yeah?

- Why did you react so much?

I remembered what he said when we met him.

- I'm pissed, that's all.

He averted his gaze.

- I am listening.

- Okay. Look. The thing you saw that day…you know.

-Yes continue.

-It was a one-time thing.

- What do you mean?..

- Wait a minute. I didn't steal any money or whatever. I just helped those guys get their money from someone who owed money, that's all.

- So you don't work for them?

- No.

-So why did you do it?

It was clear that he was nervous. He joined hands.

- Because I needed money.

-Why?

- Umm... Do you remember Uğur's surgery?

I nodded.

- It was an expensive operation.

- Why didn't you ask someone?

- Where did you get that I didn't want from anyone?

- From who?

- From your father. I didn't want to. Seeing our desperation, he suggested. I did that job because I had to pay off my debt to your father.

He just got in silence for a second.

- As I said. It was a one-time thing.

- Or did you torture the man to whom they are credited?

Fear gripped my body.

- No. I just scared him, that's all. I didn't even touch his hair.

- How was he convinced?

- I told him that if he does not give them money, those men will take it somehow and by force. So I told the truth. If you don't believe it, we can go to that man. No lie.

If there was one thing I knew about him, it was that he was an honest man; no matter how bad he is.

-I believe.

His eyes opened. He was surprised.

- Really?

- Yeah. Arslan, there are many things I want to ask you.

- Then ask me. Because I will answer your questions once and for all.

- This is a personal question, but I want to know.

- Say it.

- They say that you beat your sister's husband and put him in the hospital, and threw him out of the house.

- That's right.

- What?! So you...

- Yes I did. But ask me why?

- Why?

I'm starting to get frightened.

- That bastard was a drunkard. He used to drink and beat my sister every day.

What? I felt so bad all of a sudden...

- Of course, when I was little, I couldn't afford it. I tried to stop him many times. He beat me too. He came home drunk again two years ago. There was a woman with him. He walked on Yıldız again. I prevented this. He started hitting. I also responded. And yes, I kicked him out of the house. Because he deserves neither my sister nor his child.

- I'm sorry.

- I know very well what people say about me, but I don't care.

He stopped a little.

- And?

- And why are you pushing people away from yourself?

- Because I don't need them.

- That's kind of silly.

- No it is not. Whoever I cared about hit me in the back. Why should I need those who hurt me?

- And why didn't you talk to me for weeks?

- You know why. I didn't want to tell you what I told you today.

- Alright. It's my turn, but I want a word from you.

- Where did this come from?

- Promise or I won't tell.

- But that's not fair.

- The decision is yours.

- All right. About what?

- What I have to say will stay between us. And you will not do anything to anyone.

- It is hard.

- Arslan?

- Okay. Okay, but what's the point of learning if I can't help you?

- Isn't it enough for you to be by my side?

He got up and sat on the bed. He looked into my eyes.

- From now on, I will always be by your side. And I will protect you from everyone...even myself...

He said and hugged me tightly.

I woke up in the morning to a sound. Someone was whispering my name. I slowly opened my eyes. Arslan was looking at me. I straightened up in bed.

- Good Morning.

He said with a warm smile.

Was Arslan smiling?

- Good Morning.

- Breakfast is ready.

- I'm coming.

He shook his head. He left the room.

I remember our conversations last night. The thing I remember best is that he hugged me.

My door was slammed.

- It's me Yıldız.

- Please come in.

- I brought these. I hope they will fit.

I wore the tight jeans and thin black T-shirt she brought after she left. After washing my hands, I went downstairs. Arslan was sitting at the big table in the living room. Ugur was in his arms. I sat across from him. Yıldız came with water and glasses in her hand. He made Uğur sit in the baby chair, and she sat next to him.

- How are you, Deniz?

- I'm fine, Yıldız. Thank you very much. for accepting me.

Arslan was fired. His face was serious.

- We weren't supposed to leave you on the street?!

I smiled. He handed me the bread with chocolate on it. I was surprised at first. He looked at me. I reached out and took it. Arslan...It was always difficult to understand him.

After dinner, we went to the living room. Yıldız did not accept my help despite all my insistence, in clearing the table. Arslan was sitting next to me with Uğur in his lap.

- You look better today.

- Yeah. Thanks to you.

He put his long and strong arm around my shoulder and pulled me towards him.

-I want to know now, Deniz.

Continued. It occurred to me that I hugged him and cried. When he saw this, he didn't force me. He said, "Let's talk about this tomorrow," and left the room. After that, I slept like the dead.

- Now?

- Yes. I want to hear.

- Look, you promised.

- OK.

- Derya.

- What?!

He got angry. His face became serious. His eyebrows were furrowed. He stood up then left Uğur in his little garden full of toys a little further away. Came back. He sat next to me. He took his head in his hands.

- How could she do this to you?

I didn't answer.

- How long has it been like this?

- About a month or more, I think.

He looked at me.

- How can you give in to this?

- I was silent for my father. He is very happy, Arslan. I don't want to spoil his happiness.

- What about your happiness? Has she always been this violent towards you?

- No. She didn't do it on purpose either. The glass she threw on the table shattered. Since I was with her, the splashing pieces came to me.

-You should tell your father.

- I thought so too at first, but...

- There's no point. You will tell. Or I will.

- Arslan...

- This is my last word. If I can't make that woman regret what she did, you will.

He was still angry. He continued.

- If you don't do this, I'm not sure I can keep my word.

I thought a little.

- Are there any dorms around here?

- What dormitory?

- If I settle in the dormitory, everything will be fine.

- No.

- Arslan. I told you. I can't do this to my father. If I settle in the dormitory, everyone will be happier.

-Deniz...

I said:

- I'll be happier too.

-Stay here.

- No. My father won't agree. Besides, it would be silly for me to stay here.

-But...

- Look. I'm going to settle in the dormitory and everything will be fine.

He shook his head.

- You'll keep your word, okay?

- I do not understand. Why are you still thinking about that woman?

- I'm thinking about you, not her.

He turned to me.

- I'm afraid something will happen to you. Don't do this.

Yıldız came. She made coffee. After the coffee, we went out with Arslan. We went to a dormitory. We applied for me. Since this is a semi-private dormitory, I had to pay some money every month. I suggested looking at another dorm.

- This place is good.

Said Arslan. The dormitory was ten minutes from their house. And it was close to the school. I came home to get my things. Arslan was with me. Derya was at home. She opened the door.

- Oh. Hello dear. Where have you been? You're welcome too, honey.

She said, looking at Arslan. Arslan's face was serious.

- Cut it out!

He said and followed me inside. The woman was surprised.

We went to my room and started packing my things. We were able to collect them all in twenty minutes. She came into the room.

- What are you doing?

- I'm leaving this house.

- What? What do I tell your father?

- I do not know. You say I ran away with my boyfriend(!)

- Deniz, don't be ridiculous!

Arslan zipped up the bag and straightened up.

He took a step towards her. He looked really strong. He was taller than that woman.

- Look at me.

Said. His eyes and every word that came out of his mouth seemed to radiate fire.

- If you do one more thing to Deniz, I'll make you crawl.

It was obvious that she was afraid.

- What... What are you talking about?

- You understood exactly what I was saying. I'm warning you. If you try to do one more thing, you will find me, in front of you!

I grabbed Arslan's arm.

- Let's go.

He took two of the bags.

I took my wheeled suitcase and followed him.

Derya was stunned by surprise and fear.