Chapter 9

Anthony Stark's estate. Malibu.

The phone call to her personal number distracted Pepper at the most inopportune moment - when she, hiding in a corner and taking out a powder box with a mirror, tried to shake the confetti out of her bangs. Almost dropping the powder box from surprise, the girl took out her mobile phone and was surprised to find on the panel the line "Number is not identified", and this is on her phone. Still, that number clearly should have been answered, after all, for no reason at all, no one had called her personal phone from high school.

"I'm listening," the girl accepted the challenge.

"Pepper Potts?" An unfamiliar male voice asked busily.

"Yes it's me."

"Disgrace!" suddenly outraged the interlocutor, for a second stunned the newly-made CEO of Stark Industries. "What is this sloven just thinking about ?! Kick him already so that he proposes to you, how long can you tolerate this ?!"

" Excuse me? .." the degree, ahem ... the girl's bewilderment took a height that even Tony could rarely achieve, and taking into account the essence of the voiced question, adding, to put it mildly, some awkwardness to the emotion, it was absolutely ... not good.

"I am amazed at this brilliant idiot," continued the unknown man, "how can you be so shy at his age and with his track record? I was sure that he would get the ring as soon as he found out that he was not dying anymore, but it seems I underestimated him."

"Who are you?" The experienced secretary tried to intercept the thread of the conversation, shaking her head.

"Oh yes, I am his ... In a sense, colleague. Well, you already felt that I can do with people the same that Tony loves to do with them. By the way, why am I calling? Give him my apologies for not being able to attend the party. I will not congratulate him on the next year in this terrible universe, but you will definitely kick him from me. Say that God is unhappy with his cowardice in his personal life!"

" What's happening?" all this strange conversation began to annoy me. " Who are you?!"

"I am His God. And, as expected, I call to congratulate you on Overcoming one more ...….yeher interlocutor was clearly not himself and was carrying some kind of nonsense. But how could this be combined with the fact that he not only called a not widely known number, but also the monitoring systems of Stark Industries, which "determined" and calls from SHIELD agents, powerlessly gave out "the number is not identified "?! And the interlocutor continued to destroy her inner world in his own words: "Just don't think of anything ... unnatural. I am the God of strict and old views, I only recognize the harem of beautiful nymphs ... Hmm, it doesn't matter, in general, just tell me that I called and apologized. And yes, don't forget to kick! It is important! - and the connection was cut, leaving the loyal secretary, and now the General Manager of Stark Industries, in utter disarray.

" Mmm, who called?" Tony appeared out of nowhere, at the ready with two glasses. "Pepper, for heaven's sake, don't tell me it's for work!" Can you rest and relax at least on my birthday, if you categorically refuse to do it on yours? Consider this my demand as a birthday boy!

"Should at least one of us work?" She was habitually indignant at the behavior of her boss. "But no, it was just some weird nutcase.

"Strange psycho?" Instantly stepping up, raising an eyebrow, another p ... eccentric billionaire. If the girl was not exactly sure of the opposite, she could believe that this is another joke of this overage sloven. In addition, Stark would have had the skill and the resources to joke like that ... even while remaining in plain sight, but ... no. Pepper sighed. Given the context, it would be too cruel a joke, and this type, for all his promiscuity, never allowed himself ... well, in relation to her.

"Yes, he introduced himself as God and said that he was extremely dissatisfied with you ... and so that I would kick you …"

"And he didn't say what exactly he was dissatisfied with?" With a suspiciously soft and smooth movement, Tony took her by the arm, leaning closer and firing a glance around, as if he did not want to be heard. And the question sounded as if he perfectly understood what and who was being discussed.

"So-a-ak," the faithful secretary frowned, straightening her back and reflexively pushing the taken glass from her lips, " Mr. Stark, did you forget to tell me anything? And then this mysterious someone else mentioned something about 'dying' …"

" I have no idea what this is about!" an engineer with an "electric motor" ran his eyes around the neighborhood ...

"…" Filled with the most bad suspicions, Pepper continued to drill him with a heavy look.

"But …" this overage child raised a finger, "I really forgot something. And I suspect this guy could not say anything about this ... I would definitely not have resisted in his place …" he chewed his lips, slightly tucking his beard, but immediately came to his senses and turned to the crowd of guests. "Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you for a minute of your attention. I understand that you have gathered, first of all, in order to destroy my stocks of collectible whiskey," there were chuckles, "and also to make sure that I am still just as beautiful and courteous," now there was a woman's giggle that made Miss Potts roll her eyes in pain, " but!" The billionaire raised his voice a little, forcing the guests to focus their attention, "now I will ask you to distract a little from these, without a doubt, the most important occupations ... especially the belief in my beauty and courtesy ... and become witnesses!"

" Tony, your jokes again?" shouted at the chief Pepper, feeling extremely uncomfortable under all these looks.

"Not. This time I am deadly serious, " he turned to her and ... knelt down, pulling out a box with a ring from his bosom. "Pepper Potts, marry me!"

"…" she was speechless. The guests present also became quiet, unable to believe that the most enviable bachelor in the world decided to finally settle down. The ensuing silence was interrupted by the sound of clapping hands.

"Finally!" Shouted a strange young-looking man with long black hair combed back. Out of the corner of her mind, the girl also noted that she did not remember his name and that no one with such a face should be on the guest list either ... unless, of course, Tony brought someone in at the last moment, as he often liked to do.

" …"

"I'm not really in a hurry …" Stark whispered softly, " but, for your information, it's damn uncomfortable to stand here, and I seem to have landed on the beer lid with my knee ... Who even drinks beer on my birthday?" along with the last remark, Tony's gaze acquired an insanely touching expression - a kind of mixture of a feeling that he was betrayed in the best feelings, refusal to believe that someone with a sane mind might prefer some beer to his personal collection of whiskey, and a timid hope that she is what something will save him from this cruel reality.

Pepper laughed. This was the whole Tony - to bring a share of absurdity and some kind of reckless madness in any business, he was always a master 'I agree!'

After these words, the people came to life and began to applaud and congratulate the couple. Not all of them did it sincerely, but ... it was almost no longer Miss Potts's concern. It seems that the holiday today happened not only at Tony's.

- "Now I love you,

Now I praise you!

Finally you dirty

Moidodyr pleased! .. " recite something vaguely familiar in ... as it seemed to Pepper, in Russian, the very strange man who had attracted her attention, coming closer.

" What?" did not understand Tony, turning to the stranger. However, as soon as Stark saw his face, he immediately cheered up, as if he saw a friend whom he did not expect to see at all.

" Chuikovsky? (*)" - the girl remembered something from her many self-education courses.

" She understands!" with, as it seemed to her, with sincere pleasure the guest portrayed delight. "You're lucky, my almost all-iron Big Mack!"

"You know, when God calls you with a word suspiciously similar to" big mac ", it's a little annoying," he shared with the unknown Tony, lowering his voice. Although, judging by his reaction, he remained unknown only to her.

"Believe me, this is much better than when fairy tales have been told about you for ten centuries, where you turn into a mare, let yourself be fucked by a giant's horse and at the end give birth to a foal," having drunk from a glass taken from somewhere imperceptibly, the man confidentially said, shaking shoulders.

" I think I heard something similar about Zeus and Europa," Stark nodded, taking a greedy sip himself, looking into space with an empty gaze.

"Will anyone introduce me?" The girl asked, indicating a carefully measured note of irritation.

"This is…" Tony wiggled his fingers in the air, looking at his interlocutor, as if searching for words. Correct words ... Tony. And the right words. This alone was alarming.

"Loki," meanwhile, the unknown person depicted a slight half-bow. " Kiss the handle, I'm sorry, I can't - I'm not here."

" Where are you?" on reflexes Pepper asked, trying to put in her head either a picture of another joke, or another unreasonable madness in her life.

"In the desert" I read a bedtime story to a little cute girl who can arrange a uniform massacre. I don't know how she does it. "Seeing their looks, he raised his hands in a protective gesture of a brunette.

"It turns out to be a massacre?" Stark asked.

" No, it's just very simple," the guest dismissed. " How does she manage to make me read her fairy tales all the time - that is the question! But what are we all about me and about me? Let's confess, what to get you for the wedding?"

"Shouldn't that be a surprise?" The girl's lips at the mention of the wedding spread themselves into a smile, but she did not forget that something incomprehensible was going on in front of her.

"No," Loki, who introduced himself, shook his head, taking another sip of whiskey, "I'm better off not trusting in this respect. If my fantasy plays out, it can be very uncomfortable."

" Really?"

"You know, Pepper," Stark narrowed his eyes as confidentially, as only he can, "something tells me that we'd better believe him. By the way," again depicted his inimitable businesslike stance, Tony, switching to the guest, " are spaceships included in the range of the possible?"

"Only a pleasure yacht," the dark-haired man answered. "I won't give you the Death Star," he added with an expression in the tone in which they put an end to a conversation.

"The yacht is also good," the billionaire perked up, convincing the girl even more that these two are clearly on their own wave and know something that she does not know.

"So ... what did you say, your name?" taking a sip from the glass, resolutely determined to understand the situation of Miss Potts.

" Loki. I just called you," the dark-haired smiled charmingly, evoking in the soul of the CEO of Stark Industries an incomparable feeling, as if in front of her was a notorious swindler and swindler. Not that this feeling didn't itch on the edge of consciousness the whole time we were talking, but now it has come to the fore.

" Oh, that's how …"

" Yes …" said ... Tony, at the same time and in the same key with the guest.

The men looked at each other, the suspiciously identical smiles of the mischievous schoolchildren simultaneously appeared on their faces, followed by a short pantomime in which they literally communicated with the movements of their eyebrows. And Pepper could swear that they were discussing who would explain to her. And Tony also clearly wanted to mow ...

"I'll leave you," the dark-haired remarked, too, throwing Stark to be torn apart with his whole look.

"Ah-ah-ah," the billionaire quickly glanced over her face with the gaze of a hunted beast and immediately, as best he could, pretended to have discovered selective blindness in himself, " maybe another glass?" With an innocent look, he shook his almost empty glass, addressing ... Loki.

"No, I'm telling you - I'm not here, this body and glass are just an illusion," the brunette repeated his movement. "Yes, and scattering the attention of guests so that they do not notice how you speak with emptiness, and do not go in with congratulations, is a little tiring."

Pepper looked around and, to her surprise, really noticed that the guests were behaving somehow differently. No one really was in a hurry to approach them, catch a glance, give smiles, even when they glanced over them, they did it as if they did not see them at all.

"Why are you doing this?" also looking around, voiced the question of Tony.

" Doing what?"

"This invisibility thing," Stark made a circular motion with his brush, as if outlining the space around them.

" Hmm," the guest thought for a second, " imagine that Hammer would be your older brother, who sincerely loves you, and he would have three friends of about the same level of intellectual development ... who would strive to drag on every holiday you to 'truly masculine entertainment' as they see them."

"…" Tony froze, staring at space, and his face looked like he had eaten something very bitter. " Can I not imagine it?" he returned to reality. "Birthday is not a time for waking nightmares."

"That is why the ability to be invisible is very important. And it has nothing to do with being able to spy in the girls' locker room in college."

"Oh, yes, of course…" Stark immediately received a burst of energy from a topic close to him, forcing Pepper to roll her eyes. " Wait a minute," the man caught himself, "you said that you work in some college as a teacher ?!"

" Mmm, do I feel a crisis of faith in you?" the dark-haired grinned, and Pepper just now noticed how rich-emerald eyes he has.

"No, well, in general, there is something in this," as if even Stark was ashamed of his attack of morality.

" I knew that you would understand me! Well, okay, I really have to go, otherwise people will begin to notice that something is wrong," the guest shrugged his shoulders, forcing the glass in his hands to disappear in the overflow of green-gold light. " As they say, advice and love! Happiness, understanding and less quarrels over lost socks. And yes, kick it more often!" slightly leaning towards her, the guy admonished to immediately dissolve into the air in the already familiar green-gold tints.

" …" Tony froze with his mouth already open for an answer, but due to the abrupt disappearance of the interlocutor, he looked utterly insulted.

"So it means that someone can still leave the last word for themselves when talking with Tony Stark?" Potts faked him with a sweet smile at the man.

"He escaped! It does not count!"

"It's very good that you're ready to finally tell me who it was after all," the girl leaned closer, smiling without ceasing.

"Yes, exactly, he ran away …" Stark noted with a new intonation, licking his dry lips and looking around, obviously wondering where to go.

"Tony?"

" Who wants to congratulate my bride ?!" pretending not to hear her, this idiot asked the whole audience.

"Tony," Pepper called him colder.

"Come on - come! We have a holiday today!" the billionaire continued to clown about. They both knew that this was a temporary success and later it would be even worse for him than if he explained everything now, but that was the whole Tony - he was not looking for easy ways ...

A few days later.

Laura was staring at the brown rabbit in the cage, the rabbit melancholy in response chewing on the hay, languidly turning its ears to the chirping of all the parrots and canaries from the other end of the store.

Our tourist trip, both before and after Stark's birthday, proceeded slowly and even a little lazily. We stayed for a long time in one place, fried meat, rested, tried to sunbathe, although my companions considered the weather too cool for this and even got boots with fur. I shook the child, showing her all sorts of cute things, like how to catch desert snakes and skin furry game ... I listened to Sarah's languid indignation that this should not be done, smiled charmingly, but did not promise anything. Although Dr. Kinney was so indignant - for show. Well, someone who, and a scientist, probably knew better than anyone else, that these games would not harm X-23's psyche. Of course, this did not stop her from pursing her lips in displeasure, but she knew, yes.

In local towns, we bought groceries, went to bookstores and souvenir shops, playgrounds and cinemas. In short, I did everything to give my companions time to come to their senses, think and get used to each other. The fighting hamster slowly socialized, no longer grabbing everything from the shelves, and first showing the things he liked to his mother, sometimes she even explained to the sellers, telling her that she needed to be given a look from the shelf. With me, however, she was still playing in silence. I don't know why, but a nod or negative shaking of her head is the maximum that could be achieved from her, moreover, she did not avoid me at all, and on the contrary - she often watched and came to see what I was doing. However, even with Yuriko, she managed to talk several times, although she was just trying to keep her distance, and she herself was still a silent and introvert. It all looked very strange from the outside, especially once, when in the morning they caught me by the fire and demanded to read a story from a recently purchased book while my mother was sleeping. They demanded in silence and even without the use of facial expressions - they just came up, drilled a hole with a glance, until I turned to face her, showed the book - and let's clap their eyes expectantly, just like now at the rabbit. I don't know what she decided to achieve from the big-eared one, but then I read the fairy tale ... as well as several times after ... And in general they harnessed me, for that matter ...

In the school of mutants, nothing has changed during this time, and even the reportage with the shocking death of Stryker did not cause much seething. Charles, it seemed to me, suspected me of something, but this was expressed only in a couple of postponed chess games, allegedly due to being busy, but that's all. Even in conversation, he did not carefully probe.

In general, everything went well, and today did not promise any surprises. Another small town, another shopping trip, not even with the aim of buying something, but purely to see and show the child. All around there were lovely provincial people, small cozy houses, clear skies - everything was peaceful and blissful ...

Until THIS was heard behind me:

"I need a horse!" along with the slamming of the door, the voice of a new visitor rushed over the entire store with authority.

And I would have recognized this voice even if I got drunk to death, after several hours of fighting the trolls and having received a good blow from the stone giant in the ear. No kidding - there was such an episode in Loki's biography.

"We have no horses …" After a few seconds of silence, interrupted only by the quick steps of a man crossing the room, the seller responded in a sluggish tone, clearly doubting the mental health of the interlocutor. "Puppies, kittens, birds …" he listed further, as if hinting that a pet shop and a stud farm are different enterprises.

"Only bigger - to ride" with inimitable ease the visitor broke the template with his new remark. And from his voice it immediately became clear that he was not joking at all, without even the slightest semitones and doubts.

Fortunately, a car horn from the street and a woman's shout at the open door saved the seller from having to answer:

" Hey, give you a lift ?!"

The creak of the soles of the visitor who turned back, a couple of seconds of silence ... and confident steps back. One, two, three ... went out on the threshold ... the slam of the closing door. I slowly, slowly turned sideways to the window, pushed Yuriko back a little and, stealthily peeking out from behind the cages, saw the back of a healthy blond man in a brown jacket, climbing into a small truck to take the passenger seat ...

What Surtur ?!

What is HE doing here ?!

" Sir?" Yuriko called me worriedly.

"Everything is fine" sharply detaching from the window, I turn to my companions, who look at me in unison. "Everything is fine ... Only I don't understand anything!" with the last words, I jumped off and ran out into the street.

The truck had already disappeared at the end of the road, heading for the exit from the city and leaving a slight cloud of dust behind it and my completely upset feelings. What happened? Why is Thor here? I did not send any jotun to Asgard, did not disrupt the coronation, did not incite him to go to Jotunheim and ... what else was there according to the canon? Accusing Odin that he is an old senile, after which he flared up? None of this happened! Loki has been a good boy for once and has no business at all ... What the hell ?!

***

"Loki? What's happening? Sarah asked anxiously as she followed me out of the shop. Her excitement was understandable" and so on the run, and then either the kidnapper, or the patron abruptly breaks loose from the spot with an elongated face. There is reason to be nervous.

"Yes, so …" I looked away from the dusty road, pulling myself together, "I met an old acquaintance whom I did not expect to see here."

" It may be dangerous?"

" No," I shook my head, " the maximum - a family scandal would have happened, but I was not noticed. So," I shook myself" we stayed too long in this town, it's time to move on. How about in-oh-there?" Characteristically raising my eyebrows, I waved my hand in the opposite direction from the truck that had rolled away.

"O-okay," Miss Kinney said doubtfully, once again, I suppose, doubting the soundness of my mind.

" That's nice," I had to think about what to do in this situation. And it is advisable to do this as far as possible from dear brother. No, the first impulse was the desire to just dump, and let him figure it out, which, in fact, I did, but it was an impulsive decision, almost instinctively taken. The brain of the Asgardian, of course, is much faster than the human, and I have already mentioned about "processing by the subconscious", but then my initial fears could have been superimposed ... argh, in general, I just need to sit quietly, weigh all the data I have and think.

Meanwhile, the ladies, including the young ones, safely left the store and were ready to move along the given coordinates, since we had time to buy everything. Without wanting to postpone the matter indefinitely, I issued an order for the start of Yuriko's movement. Well, yes, but the route turns out to be such, at best you will have to stop at a camp for the night, if not in the desert at all, well, nothing - where to sleep in this mobile home, and the absence of people ... perhaps it's even good ...

We stopped for a halt only at nine o'clock in the evening, as expected, from the traces of civilization around there was only a medium-lousy road, so for dinner we had a barbecue, or rather, barbecue and baked potatoes. For electricity needs to be saved ... Probably, well, I also love potatoes. Especially baked on coals, and after such news I have the right to pamper myself. Ay, who am I trying to deceive, "news from home" seriously knocked me out of a rut, and the aforementioned subconsciousness poured various horrors, from which I gave a shit. It may sound silly, but what to do, it just happened.

Banished Thor on Earth is a complete ass! The All-Father has already fallen or is about to fall into his healing coma, news of this will immediately spread throughout the Nine Worlds, and these are not just some planets, but very important centers of galactic politics. These are, read, all the mythical races of our galaxy, those whom Asgard somehow held in their fist, not allowing them to buzz and make everyone else laugh. Technomagic is much more effective than pure magic and pure technology, to the point that Asgard could literally wipe any planet in the galaxy into dust, regardless of all its armies and space fleets, while not even risking a single soldier. How could and simply transfer the army directly to the palace of any planetary government and take it by the udder. All sorts of trolls, giants and other dark elves, of course, do not have such opportunities, but any of their gang, breaking into a planet of the level of modern Earth, or even something higher, up to blasters and antigravity, is capable of creating a natural Hell and Israel there, just because with weapons that inflict damage only on a physical level, you will kill them, like bees are a bear.

The Asgardian army is constantly busy cutting with such gangs. Thousands of years. On hundreds and thousands of worlds. And this despite the fact that it absolutely dominates, crushing the most powerful opponents and forcing them to agree to peace treaties that block the movement of really large forces. The authority of Odin makes the same Lafey and Surtur sit quieter than water, below the grass, and still there are always some shamans who can guide those who wish along the paths of shadows, open a portal, teleport aboard a spaceship flying in the neighboring system, and so on. Let all this always require plentiful sacrifices, but a gang of supernatural freaks gathered on a campaign does not mind at all to put half of the captured city under the knife in order to calmly dump home with the booty, not to mention carving out some village to start such a campaign.

If Odin does not become and the throne of Asgard is empty, a complete Achtung will begin in the galaxy. I don't give a damn even about trolls and giants, although they also have spaceships for such a thing, and anything for entertainment, but let's remember Thanos! The mad titan has been accumulating strength for a long time, he already has one or two Infinity Stones and a circle of especially gifted singers, each of which is quite equal, for example, to me in terms of combat potential. What will this wrinkled dung beetle (forgive me, the tale of Harry Potter!), Upon learning that the most serious and dangerous uncle who could threaten his plans became incapacitated and did not even leave a successor?

I, Surtur take him, have already determined that I have at least ten years to find a way to get out of here, and I am morally not ready to meet the Chitauri invasion army in two weeks! Okay, okay, two weeks - I turned it down, Thanos has no way of instantly transferring troops across the galaxy, and without the help of the Tesseract, he will fly to Earth from his bearish corner for ten years, if not more, but he is not the only one! Pirates, slave republics, all sorts of ancient primordial ones, like the Collector, engaged in all kinds of inadequate garbage and with great pleasure are ready to take advantage of the general chaos for their own purposes. There is also the Kree Empire, which quite exists in this universe, and it is here completely dumbfounded by the scriptwriters, in the sense that these are racist Nazis and immoral freaks, to whom even Hitler would say: "Guys, you guys are overdoing it with inhumanity, so even I was not one of the Untermensch. " Praise I do not know to whom, at least the Skrull Empire is not here, because the Kree still kicked it, as well as the Phalanx and Galactus, but even without them, fun is guaranteed.

But the most important thing is that it is completely incomprehensible what to do? I mean, how could all this have happened? What did Thor do to be expelled and deprived of his powers? How, in principle, could he do something like that? It's Thor! One did not punish him, even when he gouged the Rainbow Bridge! Rather, gouging ... gouging in the future, where I set him up ... Not the point! It's Thor anyway! In the past, too, they scolded him a little, no matter what game he did and no matter what ass he shoved his head into. What could have happened in my absence to make this change so dramatically? And how can I be now? ..

While thinking, I did not notice how I trampled a whole path, walking back and forth away from the fire. My companions looked at me warily, but did not go in with questions, probably, with their female instinct, catching that the moment was not right for this. For this I was grateful to them and was almost ripe to give explanations. That is, for five or seven minutes I would postpone this business, but then I would definitely give it! .. Or I would wait until they get tired of waiting and go to bed ... But morally I was ready for the revelation, yes! Is it precise information! And everything would be fine, but ... my loneliness in the evening twilight was unexpectedly interrupted.

" Hello, Loki," a stately woman in an exquisite closed dress of white and gold tones came out of the darkness, and I have no idea how I didn't jump three meters in fright!

"M-mom? .." The word slipped out of the tongue faster than the short-circuited mind had time to fully realize the visitor's appearance. Outwardly, her age ranged between thirty-five and forty-five years. Soft facial features, a kind, full of warmth look ... I felt like a schoolboy whom the teacher caught while placing a sharp button on his chair before the lesson.

"Yes, sonny, it's me," Frigga smiled.

"But …" with an effort of will I pull myself together, frantically trying to figure out how to behave and what this meeting can turn out to be for me, "how did you find me?"

" You very well hid from the gaze of your father and Heimdall, but do not forget - I taught you magic," in her smile there were notes of mischief. Not what I have, Frigga's mischief was kind, not, um ... disgusting, but ... there was some kindred resemblance.

" This …" Reflexively raising my hand with a raised index finger, I nervously bit my upper lip before I overcame and humbly accepted from fate this visual demonstration of my own brainlessness, " I did not think. But let me know" finally I take myself in hand "why are you here? It seemed to me that I quite fully stated my position in the letter."

" I …" she lowered her eyes, "I'm sorry …"

"It's too late to ask for forgiveness. And why? It's just ... it's just the circumstances. Plus, frankly, you're the only one with nothing to apologize for. You never singled me out or Thor.

"Both of you are my sons," her voice cracked.

"Perhaps," I nod, trying to dose the coldness in my voice, with which the former Loki could only speak on this topic, "although all this does not matter now. More importantly, why are you here?

"I want you to come home, Loki," Odin's wife answered with dignity, with a deep sigh, clearly anticipating the upcoming dispute thanks to her rich experience.

" Home? The ruler of Asgard demands the conclusion of the offspring of Lafei in Niflheim, according to the old treaty?"

" Loki!" a flame flashed in the eyes and voice of the asinya. "Stop doing that! Your father took your departure hard, but he is not angry or angry with you!"

" My father is a monster with which mothers scare naughty children!" I interrupted the woman. "And if you meant the All-Father, then which of us two should be angry, it's me! But you didn't answer why you need me? And by the way, if we are talking about Asgard, explain what Thor is doing in Midgard, and even deprived of his powers?"

" This …" she looked away, "punishment from Odin."

"Punishment? For what?"

"When you left, Thor was the first to notice your long absence and went to your chambers. And there he found a note …"

" Oh …" a dozen pictures, one more colorful than the other, stood before my eyes. "Did he try to drag Odin by the beard?"

"Worse," Frigga did not accept the joke. " He took friends and broke into Jotunheim."

"But why?"

"He thought you were there, and he wanted you back.

" Oh …" I covered my face with my hand. It was even dumber than the canon version.

"But there he did not find you, but he met Lafey …" continued the asinya mercilessly.

"I'm scared already…"

"They almost died, but Odin managed to save them at the last moment, but after that Thor, on edge, told him everything he thought …"

" …" I was silent. I was just silent. How is it? How, Karl ?! I did a good deed - I left the world, firmly knowing that without me it would be better there. It was an Action, Surtur took it! Who else is ready to admit this to himself ?! I withdrew myself, I left my brother the throne, I even got a job in the social sphere - I naturally help disabled children overcome congenital ailments! What ?! ... How?! ... What the?! ... Oh, Marvel Cinematic Universe, how I hate you!

"We are on the verge of war with Jotunheim, and Thor provoked it. For this he was stripped of his strength and banished to Earth," the woman continued, but ...

"So," I raised my hand, "wait a minute ... You ... have a war. And Odin did not come up with anything smarter than exile and deprive one of the best and strongest warriors of Asgard?"

"You know how a father can be hot-tempered," Frigga sighed.

"Oh yes," now I believe that Thor could have unleashed such a war - family idiocy can be traced. What one does first, then thinks about the second!

"That is why we need your sanity more than ever, son," the illusory body of the Queen of Asgard came close to me, looking into my eyes. "This morning the All-Father fell into a dream of Odin …"

"You don't mean to say…" I was pierced by a terrible guess.

"Yes," the woman closed her eyes. "Asgard needs a king, and only you can take this place now."

"I'm sorry… what?" that is ... all that mega-intrigue in the canon was not needed? Was it enough just to take and leave, so that everything desired would take and fall into the hands of the God of Deception? Are you kidding me ?!

"Son, your house is entering troubled times. And he cannot do without his Tsar. He can't do without you."

"A-uh ... um …" one phrase was beating in my head: 'I hate the Marvel Cinematic Universe!', And also a passionate desire to somehow be tested for the prophet. " But I can not! I have things to do here. I have …" I quickly looked around in search of options. " Child!" I sincerely rejoiced, discovering Laura that, together with her mother and Yuriko, all this time, fascinatedly watched the discussion. "A very good child!" catching a bad-nervous inspiration, in two steps I reduce the distance between me and the girl and put my hand on the top of her head. " He knows how to wrinkle his nose. And also meaningfully to be silent. Have you ever seen children who can be silent for more than two minutes? She is perfection itself! I can't leave her!"

"Child?" Frigga noticed the involuntary witnesses, after which she turned her gaze from the girl to me, and then to the two women. " Loki …" in this short "Loki" so many indescribable maternal intonations were intertwined that I immediately understood - in her imagination I fell sharply on the Dark Side of the Force and in general is now Enemy Number One, but not because a villain, a scoundrel and a scoundrel, but because he did not introduce him to his woman, did not invite her to the wedding, and in general, scary to say, hid his granddaughter from her. In short, my tailbone cried out in a voice that I had a second and a half to live, and then the Supreme Goddess and Queen of Asgard would punish me in a way that no Odin had dreamed of even in a nightmare.

"You misunderstood!" I felt like never before that I really want to live. "This is a child, but this is not my child! I just rescued him from the laboratory, where inhuman experiments were carried out on him, and now I am taking him to a safe place. Mom, look me in the eyes. Do you hear? I didn't do it! I found it. Accidentally!"

"Accidentally?" jerking her head slightly, she returned to the real world of asinya.

" Here, in Midgard, there is now an undercover war between ordinary people and mutants, where the former are trying to find a way to destroy or subjugate the latter. It so happened that I was already involved in all this, and the idea of ​​a planetary war does not appeal to me at all. For this reason, I decided to go through a couple of the most controversial businesses, so to speak, with verification. And - and ... yes," as if reluctantly shaking my head, "I was not too soft in making my assessments. I took this girl from the last blood-stained laboratory. By the way, this is her mother," I point to Sarah.

" Very ... nice to meet you," the scientist squeezed out helping herself with a habit.

"Oh, of course," Odin's wife finally came to her senses and smiled affably. "It's also a pleasure for me to meet my son's friends. Call me Frigga."

"Sarah Kinney…" the woman introduced herself with a polite nod. Then she threw a short glance at the calmly watching X-23 and caught herself: "My daughter's name is Laura."

In response, Frigga also nodded and looked at the girl, but she remained in her repertoire and did not provide the guest with anything except the oncoming gaze of brown eyes. Not attaching much importance to this, the Queen of Asgard turned to Yuriko.

" My name is Yuriko Oyama. Mr. Loki saved me from slavery, the Asian woman briefly introduced."

" Oh," the Queen of Asgard turned to me, examining with a new look. And for something I didn't like this look. When someone else's mother looks at you with such pride and pleasant surprise, it is uncomfortable.

"So," I decide to quickly close the shop, until they began to look for traces of a halo in me, or, even worse, dishonor my favorite stories from the series 'how he went to the pot in childhood', "I am very glad that you all met, this great, but I need time to think. While mom."

" Loki," the woman pulled herself together, again completely turning her attention to me, " I understand that you want to send me out, and I have no doubt that you can close yourself off from me if you want to," she continued with a sigh and sadness, "but understand - this is really important. Now the future of all Nine Worlds depends on you, and you yourself know that by refusing me, you yourself will endanger this world. Midgard lived in peace and inviolability under the protection of Asgard, but if Asgard does not have a king, no one will protect him."

"Rather, no one will think that he is protected," I answered irritably, not so much objecting as ... splashing out emotions.

"The difference is vanishingly small, my son," Frigga nodded in understanding.

"Okay ... Okay!" my right hand lay on my face, massaging the skin with effort. "Now I will come ... But I do not promise anything!" I immediately warn the woman in a tone that does not tolerate objections.

"I am waiting for you at home, son" smiled the asgardian , and her illusion disintegrated, leaving me alone with three women burning with curiosity.

"Why does my family haunt me even when I fled to another world ?!" I rub my face, barely keeping myself from much more unprintable expressions that reveal my condition much deeper.

But then I turned my gaze to the frozen women and realized that my troubles had just begun. No, Yuriko diligently pretended that she was a valiant Samurai and, in general, a "machine gun attached to a gun," but I almost physically felt curiosity emanating from her. Sarah was also interested, but Laura ... Laura looked at me with her calm and serene look - exactly the same as when "extorting" another fairy tale.

"Eh, I guess I need to explain the situation …"

"No, you, you are absolutely not obliged to report to us …" said Miss Kinney, continuing to sparkle with a curious look. My assistant nodded sternly, yes-yes, continuing to exude curiosity, but the small fighting hamster did not bother with such a thing at all and continued to press and extort the "fairy tale" with his glance.

"Yeah, of course" I sighed, resigning myself to the inevitable " I'll try in a nutshell. So, of course, you heard the whole conversation, but I'll start from the beginning and in order. As everyone here knows, according to legend, I am considered the son of Odin, the king of Asgard. Well, as a prince, I tried to match, studied there, developed, but my moron brother was appointed heir and future king" I raised my hand, interrupting Sarah, who seemed to be trying to say something. " No, this is not envy or anger. In his case, it is more of a diagnosis. You saw him" he really wanted to find a puppy in a pet store to saddle him! And this is the guy who saw spaceships and regularly flies anti-gravity cars! So, from time to time Odin needs to fall into a kind of coma, in which he rejuvenates and gains strength, this state is called Odin's Dream, and for the duration of its action, the throne of Asgard should pass to the heir. Well, so as not to lose control of the entire interstellar empire of the Aesir and Vanir. And everything would be fine, but shortly before the coronation of Thor, I learned that I really am a prince. The prince of the ice giants - the most dangerous enemies of Asgard. That war is more than one thousand years old, and both sides of the conflict have accumulated a lot of bloody accounts for each other. To say that I was slightly surprised and upset by such news is to greatly underestimate the picture. But, as a reasonable ... hmm, a rational being, I did not whip a fever, rush to make a scandal for Odin or run to lead the jotuns. No, I decided to calm down a bit, get some air and think about life, with which I went down to Midgard, that is, to Earth. I even left a note on purpose so that they would not twitch and look! Well, then my vacation was delayed - I got a job as a teacher at a school for gifted children, saved the world a little, met a couple of beauties, - I could not restrain myself and winked at Yuriko that she was still stoically portraying a samurai. - In general, I restored my composure and collected my thoughts. And at that moment my moron brother broke into my room, saw an empty room and a note on the table. Unfortunately, his brain power was still enough to learn to read, and my "farewell letter" ... well, he got acquainted with it. After that, instead of going to a showdown with Odin, ask the mother or even spit and finally notice that one pretty asinya has been running after him for four hundred years and it would be nice to pay attention to the girl ... instead of all this and another thousand and one a way to do something, if not useful, then at least harmless, he did not come up with anything smarter than taking his hammer, his friends, even bigger morons, and invading the possessions of the jotuns, demanding to "return his brother", simultaneously killing and maiming the subjects of another states, peacefully strolling about their business.

"Um, I can't grasp the logic ..." the woman scientist admitted.

"Me too, but this is Thor, he has been doing this all his life! And yes, this is not the end of the story. In general, as you guessed, something suddenly and unexpectedly went wrong, and as much as a whole four, or five, if they dragged Sif into their adventure, the young and not very smart aces 'for some reason' could not cleanse giants all Jotunheim. As a result, the result was predictable - they were squeezed and they were about to present the bill for all killed relatives, and to remember old debts. But at the last moment, Odin heroically rescues them. The result is that we get enraged giants, which we ourselves, "treacherously and without declaring war," attacked. But that's not all. Literally right away, Odin proved two things: first - Thor is one hundred percent his son, and second - idiocy in this family is transmitted through the male line. Because he did not come up with anything smarter than to deprive and expel one of the best warriors of Asgard to Earth, and he just took it and fell asleep. The result - two of the strongest combat units of Asgard dropped out even before the start of hostilities, one of these units is also the commander-in-chief. And the news of this, if it has not already spread throughout the Nine Worlds, will spread in the near future. The Nine Worlds are the key planets of the Asgardian zone of influence, each has a bunch of satellites, and they play one of the main roles in the political arena of the galaxy. And now Frigga's mother comes to me and asks me to clean up all his shit behind Thor, as I usually did all my life. Only the scale this time is much larger, so also One with a "bunch" helped! And yes, one more ma-a-scarlet nuance. The King of the Ice Giants, with whom I now have to fight on the side of Asgard, is my biological father. But if I don't do this, the universe will go nuts. If not all, then many planets, because the inter-world war within the framework of the Nine Worlds will very quickly turn into a general galactic war. It's as if right now in the United States, the southern states began a second civil war, simultaneously with the death of the president, Congress, the Senate and the entire NATO command together, just transferring the consequences from one planet to the entire galaxy. I hope now you understand why Thor and Odin are morons ?! Uh-uh-uh, ahem," I cleared my throat, "I beg your pardon, I got a little carried away, but even I can't take it all calmly."

"N-no big deal," Sarah said, digesting what she had heard. " In such a situation, you were amazingly correct and restrained. But what should we do?" the scientist threw a glance at the girl, who was fascinatedly listening to my short, but very expressive story.

"I'm not going to leave two women with a child alone in the middle of the desert" once again massaging my face, I brush aside the woman's excitement. "Come with me."

"Where to?"

"To Asgard. You can be proud of yourself, not a single person has ever been honored to be there" I tried to portray all the arrogance of the Guardian of the Bridge, which I was only capable of. "Well, at least for the last thousand years," I shrug, softening the moment.

"But is it convenient?"

"I will order you to be allocated the best rooms in the palace." I was adamant. " And if these clever people are not satisfied with something, then there is nothing to call me to solve their problems. Have you contacted Loki? Endure pain and humiliation!" After thinking a little, I'll finish. "This does not apply to you. But the Asgardians will feel bad!"

"What about the trailer?" clarified Yuriko.

"Surtur is with him, it will be necessary, we will buy a new one."

"W-well, as you wish," agreed the former prisoner of her own body, clearly trying to put it in her head that she would be heading to Valhalla right now.

"Well, okay," I sigh, "you can't breathe before you die. Come closer," all three ladies, not very confident, but obediently stepped towards me. As soon as we were in a circle with a radius of a couple of meters, I took off my disguise and raised my face to the sky. "Heimdall, bridge!… Please," the phrase didn't have time to resonate to the end, as a pillar of rainbow radiance struck from heaven, building an inter-world passage around us. The speed at which the "transport" was provided indicated that the Guardians were well motivated. Frigga could be intimidating if she wanted to, and something told me that this time the permanent sentry of Asgard had obviously flown well.

The short flight up the glowing tunnel broke off abruptly as always, pushing us straight ahead of the circular archway of the active passage in the Bivrest control room. Heimdall stood in front in all his brutally pumped splendor of a black man in gold. A sword lowered pretentiously into the groove for controlling the Bridge mechanism, through which "lightning" strikes the ceiling, was attached, as did the piercing gaze of eyes blazing with mystical power - God and the founder of all watchmen looked at me as an undisclosed enemy of the people.

"Loki," he stated gloomily, drawing out his sword with a sharp movement and thus closing the passage. He probably wanted to say something else, in particular, about inviting mortals to Asgard, but I did not give him that opportunity:

"A thousand years ago!" I'm heading forward through the hall. "I'm glad to see you too, O selectively incorruptible friend of my prodigal brother!" I change my earthly clothes for Asgardian armor and helmet. "Can you tell me how it happened that you let Thor go to Jotunheim? And why is Thor exiled and deprived of his powers, and you are still in this position ?!"

"The queen awaits you in Odin's chambers. The flying boat will arrive now," the Guardian of the Bridge, having turned his face into stone, left the answer.

"Well, of course! How could I forget ?!" depicting a bucket of bile in my voice on a scale, I stop in front of him, looking at his face. "You have no one to replace with those of your magic eyes, isn't Odin standing here for days on end?"

"I had no right to prevent the heir of Asgard without the order of the King," nevertheless, Heimdall condescended to give explanations. "But it was I who informed the All-Father of where your brother went.

"And that saved him," I continued, not holding back my irony. "Only Thor is in exile now, and you are here.

I look demandingly into the face of the black warrior. Contrary to popular belief, he was not a cold-blooded idol, being that still an adventurer in his soul, on the basis of which he sympathized with Thor. And yet, although he tried not to show it, Heimdall was very sensitive to other people's reproaches of his professionalism. And now the big man could not stand it, looking away.

"Yes …" reluctantly escaped his lips.

"I'm glad you understand that," I turn around sharply, so that the green cloak is slightly tossed up, and I head towards the exit, gesturing my hand to my companions.

Note:

(*) Pepper said exactly that.