I am 9 years old
I feel as though I already seen the whole world
…yet I have yet to see "what is the world"
I am pretty, so I am privileged
But as the years go on, I am seeing more and more disadvantages
If you say you are pretty, than you are prideful
If you say you are not or humble yourself, than you are selfish
You can have insecurities, but you can't complain because you are privileged
You can be anxious but can't have anxiety because your beauty comes with self confidence
Yet I had none of these traits when I was young
And locked up so much of my thoughts that I wanted to share
I grew, and so I learned
You don't say everything, yet you can't say nothing
With every lesson, I changed
I hate change
But I dont hate changing for the good in me
I understand that people have to change
I understand that the leaf buds have to grow
Change is inevitable
The growth of my knowledge is even more so
Fall turns to winter
Then the winter snow melts to the blissful rain of spring
And when we have our nourishing we go on the the warmth of summer
The seasons changes
But I do not hate it because it comes back without fail
But age do not
I am 15 years old
And I hate change
I hate the thought of my mother growing old and then dying
I hate that my siblings have to move out when they are "ready"
I want things to be the same
Nobody told me how nostolgic the memories of the "Good Old Days" were
Nobody told me that it would hurt
I know that I am wise for my age
And a kinda wish that I weren't
I do bad things knowing how bad it is, yet I still do it anyways
I ask questions to things I already know just so I can feel oblivious
I do so much things that makes me incapable, which is now irreversible
But i don't regret it
Some of the most simplest taskes is so easy to do, until when you have to, it then becomes the hardest task
And by growing, I also have to change
Not just my body and my mind but also my way of perspecting people
My way of perspective life
But what I struggle with the most is learning from my mistakes by accepting
I find it hard to accept that I am wrong
Sometimes when I do, some people have a good rub at it
But its okay
Because in everyone's own way, we are all in pain
And doing certain things help with certain pain
So, I am okay
I am 52, and already have so much to say
I already have so much pain
But the pain I have isn't severe compared to most, so I will be okay
I am 52, and I hate change
I only lived in this world for 52 years, and I hate moving on
How can I go on
How much hate and sorrow will I have when I turn 41
I am 52, and I want to learn more than just love
I hate change, and its okay
I hate change, but I will learn to accept one day
I am 52, and I want to change
For me
And for a change
Changes are inevitable
But Changes are also beautiful
So help me find that beauty
Through life
And through death