Change

I am 9 years old

I feel as though I already seen the whole world

…yet I have yet to see "what is the world"

I am pretty, so I am privileged

But as the years go on, I am seeing more and more disadvantages

If you say you are pretty, than you are prideful

If you say you are not or humble yourself, than you are selfish

You can have insecurities, but you can't complain because you are privileged

You can be anxious but can't have anxiety because your beauty comes with self confidence

Yet I had none of these traits when I was young

And locked up so much of my thoughts that I wanted to share

I grew, and so I learned

You don't say everything, yet you can't say nothing

With every lesson, I changed

I hate change

But I dont hate changing for the good in me

I understand that people have to change

I understand that the leaf buds have to grow

Change is inevitable

The growth of my knowledge is even more so 

Fall turns to winter

Then the winter snow melts to the blissful rain of spring

And when we have our nourishing we go on the the warmth of summer

The seasons changes

But I do not hate it because it comes back without fail

But age do not

I am 15 years old 

And I hate change

I hate the thought of my mother growing old and then dying 

I hate that my siblings have to move out when they are "ready"

I want things to be the same

Nobody told me how nostolgic the memories of the "Good Old Days" were

Nobody told me that it would hurt

I know that I am wise for my age

And a kinda wish that I weren't

I do bad things knowing how bad it is, yet I still do it anyways

I ask questions to things I already know just so I can feel oblivious

I do so much things that makes me incapable, which is now irreversible 

But i don't regret it

Some of the most simplest taskes is so easy to do, until when you have to, it then becomes the hardest task

And by growing, I also have to change

Not just my body and my mind but also my way of perspecting people

My way of perspective life

But what I struggle with the most is learning from my mistakes by accepting

I find it hard to accept that I am wrong

Sometimes when I do, some people have a good rub at it

But its okay

Because in everyone's own way, we are all in pain

And doing certain things help with certain pain

So, I am okay

I am 52, and already have so much to say

I already have so much pain

But the pain I have isn't severe compared to most, so I will be okay

I am 52, and I hate change

I only lived in this world for 52 years, and I hate moving on 

How can I go on

How much hate and sorrow will I have when I turn 41

I am 52, and I want to learn more than just love

I hate change, and its okay

I hate change, but I will learn to accept one day

I am 52, and I want to change

For me

And for a change

Changes are inevitable

But Changes are also beautiful

So help me find that beauty 

Through life

And through death