Welcoming Uncertainties

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"Does it have to be that early? 8am? Seriously?" Standing right beside me, Liam complained and kept whining like a spoiled child, fidgeting and stomping his foot like the human embodiment of annoyance that he is.

"What difference does it make? You work out during those days, Mondays, Tuesdays, and, Fridays. You wake up at like 6 o'clock in the morning, just do your think after workout, and come straight here."

"That's the problem! The thing that I do after workout is sleep! And I won't be able to do that anymore." He whined all the more directly to my ear. My eye twitched in annoyance.

"So is it settled, then? Two sessions per week, scheduled during Mondays, Fridays, and Wednesdays?" The polite woman asked nervously, eyes darting unsurely between Liam and I as she handled out our lay out forms.

I brought my attention to her and nodded, "Yes please, we'll take that." I turned to Liam and then back to her, "Don't mind him, he doesn't have a choice."

Smiling reassuringly as I could to her, I did my utmost best to suppress my rising urge to yell and smack the hell out of this idiot beside me.

"Reyna!" He whined once more, eyebrows knitting, lips turned into a disagreeing frown, while he poked and poked my arm. I kicked his shins with my foot, causing him to shift his attention to the pain on his right leg instead. Holding it up, hoping and bouncing around the place in one foot like a bunny, but make it a stupid bunny.

The woman behind the desk sweat dropped at us, and just offered me an uncomfortable chuckle, visibly showing in her features that not every day, a bunch of incoming college students would barge in to your workplace, and act far different from the actual age they were supposed to be.

She cleared her throat. "Please fill up these forms and I shall register it. How will you pay? Card or cash?"

"Card please." I brought out my credit card and handed it to her. She swiped the card to the machine and urged me to enter the password. After the registration process, I filled out the forms that Liam and I had, him still refusing to agree and insisting that we should schedule at a different time. All that while, I just ignored him.

I gave the fill out forms to the lady, and she gave us our schedules and card where the number of the Review Center was present. We thanked the lady, went out on our way, and left the place while Liam was still having the attitude, but still followed relentlessly.

We went to the nearby fast-food restaurant in the area and had our lunch there. By the time we were having our meal, Liam finally snapped out of his bratty attitude and accepted defeat. I gave him earlier the option of us having different schedules but he refused and insisted that he wanted to review with me.

"If you're late even for I single time, I swear I'm gonna woop your butt off the face of the earth." I took another bite off of my cheesed burger, as I shoved a few french fries right after.

He sipped through his straw and uttered a reply, "Why does it have to be that early?"

"Because the exams have been moved, it won't take place at the end of the next month anymore. They moved it at an earlier time, they're having it in the second week of July."

"What? Why? I didn't know!"

"That's because you're not checking and updating the latest news about it. Are you even seriously up for this?"

"Yes, I am! Besides, you're already there to constantly update me." He grinned at me as he took another bite of his now third burger.

'𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘵?'

"Why did they move the exams? That's so sudden." He added in a muffled tone while chewing.

"It's because this time there's a scholarship exam. Their holding that exam first and then after a week, the entrance exam."

I looked up at him and swallowed the last bite. "Are you applying for the scholarship too?"

He blinked at me. Stopping midway of chewing his burger, he drank some cola, and cleared his throat before answering, "I'll probably try it too, but my priority would be the entrance exam."

I raised my brow and chuckled amusingly, "Wow, never have I imagined that the word 'priority' was in your vocabulary."

"Hey!" I grinned all the more and went on finishing my fries, snatching a few from him along the way.

I heard a familiar pinged notification resonating the place and immediately whipped my head at the direction of the sound. On my screen, a tiny tab bar was displayed with a text notification from a certain airhead. My lips curved up in the slightest as I wiped my greasy hand on my pants and grabbed the device, sliding it up, revealing the message.

𝘈𝘪𝘳𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘙𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴: 𝘚𝘶𝘱 𝘓𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩, 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘶 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰? 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱 ^^

I raised an eyebrow at his text and typed in a quick reply.

𝘙𝘦𝘺𝘯𝘢: 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘺? 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬?

𝘈𝘪𝘳𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘙𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴: 𝘐 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴. 𝘞𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴.

𝘙𝘦𝘺𝘯𝘢: 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦. 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘺.

𝘈𝘪𝘳𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘙𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴: 𝘞𝘢𝘪𝘵, 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵! 𝘓𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩!

𝘚𝘦𝘦𝘯

𝘈𝘪𝘳𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘙𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴: 𝘕𝘰𝘰𝘰! 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬! :((

I turned the phone off and continued my meal, now savoring my chicken nuggets.

Liam gulped a cola. "Is it Heliodor?" I glanced at him from my food and nodded in answer, for I couldn't do so, because my mouth was literally full of nuggets and fries.

"What did he say?"

I swallowed hard, pushing the food down as I drank some cola. "He was just saying hi and that he just woke up. Kinda like you."

He raised his eyebrow, amused, and then smiled. "How so?"

"You both wake up so late. Like what do you even do at night that makes you wake up that late."

"We don't wake up late, you just wake up early," He stated with a victorious smile, even if not a single thing about what he said wasn't even worth praising, let alone victorious.

I sighed as I let out a small burp. "Don't throw me that nonsense. There is literally no conviction or logic on what you just said."

He countered me and stated some ridiculous nonsense on the terms of why people like him don't wake up late and all of those what not. He rambled and rambled as I just tuned it all out and rolled my eyes at each supposed 'explanation' he was saying. I eventually reached my point limit and smacked his head to shut him up.

We ate our lunch and continued some bickering and more exam related conversations with each other, the topic about Helio completely forgotten.

Although I was talking and was physically attending to the conversations and stuff Liam was saying, at the back of my mind, my inner consciousness was elsewhere.

Everything that has happened lately was all surprising, and I've never been so stressed in my life. Sometimes this all got me thinking that does aiming for my dream was worth of all the fiasco.

And every time I rethink my actions, it always got me back to the conclusion that this was all bound to happen, anyway.

Even if I didn't pursue writing today, I would have eventually in the future. I may be a meticulous and don't want unordered things, but I wasn't always like this before.

Back then, I was a problematic and a carefree child. I loved surprises and uncertainties. The way such events would make my heart beat so fast because of the thrill of the occurrences I welcomed, I adored them. And I experienced them all alongside my brother. Despite our age gap, we were inseparable and almost did everything together.

That child in my past was still alive deep down. And maybe that's why my stubborn self insisted that just this once, pursue something you want and take the risk.

All the ruckus I'm experiencing right now was inevitable. It would have happened either way. And so that resulted in this kind of situation, overthinking all the ways I could do. Extra work, extra studying, extra preparations, just so I could reassure my passage in the exam and pursue my dream.

The scholarship exam is no joke. They say it's ten times—no hundred times harder than the entrance exam, and that's not giving wonders in my confidence and reassurance. I can't afford to fail, if I fail I'll lose my opportunity to pursue the dream career I want, so I'll have to work extra harder than I already was before.

But besides the exams which was constantly taking up the majority space in my mind every minute of the day, there's this new thing that's also nagging at a small space in mind lately, this occurrence that just recently happened, an interesting surprise that I never planned to happen and just abruptly entered my life.

I know I shouldn't allow anymore distractions that could severe my concentrations on preparing for my exams but I couldn't help it. Just like my writing, there's seems like a magnetic pull that keeps attracting me to this person every single time, a curious child deep down inside me, peeking at something she isn't supposed to see, a child that's getting more and more stubborn as time goes by. No matter how much I pull away, I always keep finding myself being pulled back.

For the past week, thrice he called me in circumstances that are justified to be 'accidents', or 'can't be helped situations'. That wrong call at the park, and both my half-sleep state of answering his call, first at 3am in the morning and second was when I was sick.

After those, the next calls were not 'accidents' anymore. I was fully aware of what was happening, and I had the option to decline or answer. And oddly for me, for someone who hated surprises and sudden occurrences that are not in my plan or schedule, I chose the option to answer every time.

After that day when I was sick, he called me five times for the next two days and texted me a ton amount of messages. Never have I received such a large amount of notifications from a single person all my life.

We talked and texted about ridiculous stuff, and he grew to call me not by my first name, but by my second name instead. I was still getting used to it because my second name wasn't that well used by other people, but I let him use it.

I knew that engaging with this sort of uncertainty will be dangerous for me. I hated surprises and chaos, and even though this boy that I welcomed in my little world is screaming and radiating the exact aura of these two things I despised, for some twisted and unknown reason he became an exception.

Maybe I'll out grew it along the way, maybe I'll have a schedule for times like those, maybe I'll learn to control it someday or maybe I'll leave, eventually.

But as of now, I don't know what to do yet. I'm just going to cross the bridge when I get there.

I'm letting that child have something to be thrilled about for now, and maybe, just maybe. I'll finally be brave enough to learn to outgrew the fear that comes alongside with those uncertainties.

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