CHAPTER TWENTY ONE :

The door closed behind her, and all the thoughts that kept her head spinning endlessly were shut behind. Those sounds kept replaying inside her head the whole walk back home, the gun firing, the metallic laughter of a lunatic behind a mask, although she didn't get a glimpse of him picturing him under a mask made the third wave of unsettled thinking quiet down. This was enough to make her forget what sleep meant for days, if not months.

The martyrdom held between the pages of her story was vacantly enormous, all of what was going on kept on cutting her legs little by little, making her comprehend a slow notion of pain that no human could ever fathom, one specially designed for her, with every bit of flesh cut a small glimpse of light fades. Order and chaos, happiness and agony, repeatedly, she demanded how can two radically different things exist in the same world.

How was she supposed to live her life to the fullest while all that she was leading so far was emptiness? What could she have possibly done in her past life to convoy this type of suffering down her way?

She has been holding back all those mixed feelings of guilt and blame, it filled her cup until it over float.

She stared into the void until she lost sense of time, all it took to bring her back into the living land was a tap on the shoulder.

Patrick looked pale, his eyes reflected tiredness. Like a college student put under probation, his whole world was driven by stress and anxiety, more importantly, fear. Fear of failure, not a degree or a bachelor, but lives that once restored his faith in himself, losing them meant drowning and maybe dying without ever feeling better, alive.

He took her hand and their fingers crossed, then he took her in his arms as if it was the last hug they'll ever have, she figured that something was going on, something that made him weaker, something bad.

He held onto her tight as if he was looking for something in her like he was trying to save himself by grasping onto her, she had a feeling this would be the last father-daughter moment they'll ever share once she noticed from the corner of her eye the social services workers.

The woman was of medium height, her hair pulled together into a side ponytail. She was a blonde, which made her appear to become a cheerleader, the only thing she was missing was the costume.

Sitting on the opposite side of the table, Alina kept staring at the full plate of pancakes, she wondered how a middle-aged woman looking like a 17-year-old cheerleader would help her in a situation that leaves all mouths open.

Alina refused to get adopted again, she said that her misery should stay her own, and she's had enough of being the albatross that brings omen to happily married couples.

"Once you believe such a thing, it becomes your reality. Alina, you went through enough, don't you think?" Said the social worker while chewing gum and showing her teeth. She kept a pretty smile while talking.

Alina gazed at her with nothing but disgust.

"What are you promising me?"

"A life" She answered whilst a young man walked by and winked at her. "You don't seem to have one, so let's begin with that." She added.

"No wonder all of you are the same. All of you think you can *fix* us as if we are broken toys. Our lives might not matter once we're gone, but we aren't yet. If you think you can give me one, then you can probably buy yourself some pride first. So let's begin with that." Alina muttered while trying not to swear at the woman, she didn't know why she still had respect for adults, maybe it runs in her blood like all the hate she receives.

When the woman didn't answer she added "You can't just come on here with gum in your mouth thinking you van change lives while all you can do perfectly is either trick men or have them hit on you wherever you go."

"You went a little too far kiddo."

"Then look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong."

There was nothing more serious going on in the café than their conversation.

Alina stood up, ready to leave when a pair of words froze her in her steps.

"Selena died."

"I know."

"How did you know?" Responded the woman.

*His eyes gave him away." Alina sighed, with enormous efforts she managed to prevent herself from breaking into tears.

"You have no one left. If you walk out of that door right now, you'll realize that, not even a place to stay. I wanna shelter you, that's what we all want."

"We? What do you mean we?"

"I'm not who you think I am, I'm here to help you."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Sit down Alina. We'll talk this through."

She let out a huge sigh, then muttered through her steps.

"Fuck you."

The door closed behind her, keeping inside all the fake hopes the woman was ready to give to persuade her into what she was selling. A life.

She had nowhere to go, but still refused any sort of help she was offered. Her phone hasn't stopped ringing so she turned it off, which left Patrick on the other end of the call on his edge.