Chapter 19

Even worse than the pain is the irrational sense of betrayal. To my horror, I realize that I had begun to trust my captor, to feel like I knew him a bit.

He'd caused me pain before, but I didn't think it was on purpose. I thought it was just because I was so new to sex. I hoped my body would adjust and there would be only pleasure in the future.

I was obviously a fool.

My entire body is shaking, and I can't stop crying. He's still holding me down, and I'm terrified of what he'll do next.

What he does next is as shocking as what he did before.

He turns me over and lifts me into his arms. Then he sits down, holding me on his lap, and rocks me back and forth. Gently, sweetly, like I'm a child that he's trying to console.

And despite everything, I bury my face against his shoulder and sob, desperately needing that illusion of tenderness, craving comfort from the one who made me hurt.

* * *

After I'm a bit more calm, he stands up and places me on my feet. My legs feel weak and shaky, and I sway a little as he carefully undresses me.

I wait for him to say something. Maybe to apologize or to explain why he hurt me. Was he punishing me? If so, I want to know what I did, so I can avoid doing it in the future.

But he doesn't speak—he simply takes off my clothes. When I'm naked, he begins to undress himself.

I watch him with a strange mixture of distress and curiosity. His body is still a mystery to me because I've kept my eyes closed for the last two nights. I haven't even seen his sex yet, even though I've felt it inside me.

So now I look at him.

His figure is magnificent. Completely male. Wide shoulders, a narrow waist, lean hips. He's powerfully muscled all over, but not in a steroid-enhanced bodybuilder way. Instead, he looks like a warrior. For some reason, I can easily picture him swinging a sword, cutting down his enemies. I notice a long scar on his thigh and another one on his shoulder. They only add to the warrior impression.

His skin is tan all over, with just the right amount of hair on his chest. There's more dark hair around his navel and trailing down to his groin area. His skin color makes me think he either goes around naked, or he's naturally darker, like me. Perhaps he has some Latino ancestry, too.

He's also fully aroused. I can see his cock jutting out at me. It's long and thick, similar to the ones I've seen in porn. No wonder I'm sore. I can't believe he's even able to fit inside me.

After we're both naked, he guides me to the bed. "I want you on all fours," he says quietly, giving me a light push.