Chapter 47

A year of my life has passed in captivity.

I feel like I'm suffocating, like all air had left the room, but I know it's just an illusion. There's plenty of oxygen here; I simply can't seem to breathe in any.

"Nora?" Beth's voice somehow penetrates the din in my ears. "Nora, are you all right?"

I finally manage to draw in some much-needed air, and I look up from the cake. Beth is staring at me with a puzzled frown on her face, and Julian is no longer smiling. Instead he looks like a dangerous stranger again, his gaze filled with something dark and disturbing.

Holding myself together with superhuman effort, I squeeze out a shaky smile. "Of course. Thank you for the cake, Beth."

"We wanted to surprise you," she says, her features smoothing out as she takes my words at face value. "I hope you have some room left for dessert. Chocolate cake is your favorite, right?"

The ringing in my ears intensifies. "Um, yes." Despite my best attempts, my voice sounds choked. "And you definitely surprised me."

"Leave us, Beth," Julian says sharply, glancing at her. "Nora and I need to be alone right now."

Beth blinks, obviously taken aback by Julian's tone. I've never heard him speak like that to her before. Nevertheless, she obeys immediately, practically running up the stairs to her room.

I haven't seen Julian this angry in a while and I know I should be frightened, but at this moment, I can't seem to bring myself to care about what's to come. Every muscle in my body is trembling with the effort to contain the terrible storm I can feel brewing inside me, and it's a relief to have Beth away from here. A year. It's been a fucking year. The rage that's building inside me is unlike anything I've ever experienced before; it's like a dam has broken and would not be contained. A red mist descends on me, veiling my vision, and the ringing in my ears grows louder as my emotions spin out of control.

As soon as Beth is out of sight, I explode. I'm no longer rational or sane; instead I'm fury personified. I grab at the nearest thing I can reach—the chocolate cake—and throw it across the room, the dark-colored icing splattering everywhere. My plate and cup follow, hitting the wall and shattering into a million pieces, and all the while, I hear screaming, coming at me from far away. Some still-functioning part of my brain realizes that it's me—that it's my own screams and curses I'm hearing—but I can't stop it any more than I can contain a typhoon. All the anger, terror, and frustration of the past year has boiled to the surface, erupting in a lava of fierce rage.

I don't know how long I exist in that mindless state before steely arms wrap around me from the back, imprisoning me in a familiar embrace. I kick and scream until my voice grows hoarse, but my struggles are futile. Julian is far, far stronger than me, and he uses that strength now to subdue me, to hold me tight until I completely exhaust myself and slump against him in defeat, tears running down my face.

"Are you done?" he whispers in my ear, and I can hear the familiar dark note in his tone. As usual, I find it both sinister and arousing, my body now conditioned to crave the pain that's to come—and the mind-shattering bliss that inevitably accompanies it.