Conscious Reincarnation

This is fucked. I have to succeed today, you've even told me. I'm freaking out. Can't breathe. Dying Dying Dying. I hate this. It never ends. Why won't it end. Please make it stop. It keeps going, only ever worse.

This is what I would like to say, it's what at a glance is true. But I already understand that it's meaningless. I already understand that if I don't succeed I die so what's the point of freaking out. It would only potentiate my death. So if I'm going to live, then I'm going to live.

The only way to do so based on the context of reality as it presents itself is to succeed now.

I've tried to, every day for the past 365 days. To succeed now. Energetically, Physically, Metaphysically, Divinely, Occultly. As of currently these have brought me great outcomes in terms of opportunities. But no outcomes in terms of completion.

I need to succeed with a completion now. Right now. Today. In the next 12 hours or less. I have to. Or I fear someone might die. It would be relatively ok if it is me. But these days I feel like I'm able to weather greater pain and others aren't. So now I have to succeed not just for myself but everyone who relies on me. Relies on me to be stronger than them for them to keep going on.

So. I must succeed now. I know my resolve is strong enough. I know my willpower is strong enough. I know my faith is strong enough.

So I must be strong enough to succeed now.

So I must succeed now.

Animi. I need to succeed now. I need you to make me succeed now. Please.

"I'm not supposed to do this, but it looks like it's necessary now.

I must warn you. I don't believe you're ready yet for absolute success. For the completion.

Not because you can't handle it. But rather because it means others will attach to you again like before and you haven't learned to let go of others.

It means you will have a strain on your energetic field that isn't sustainable for you.

It might be more painful in the future than it is now.

But if you -"

Stop.

That should be the answer yes?

I have a strain on my energetic field that is unsustainable?

You've told me this before.

I didn't want to remove it then.

I'm not going to.

I'd rather die instantly yet peacefully.

But. If there is a strain on my field, that means if I make it sustainable then it solves everything yes?

"Technically yes. However that's why I say you aren't ready yet. You increased it to a certain degree last night but this practice isn't sustainable for you.

In order to reach the energetic field level that would absolutely sustain your field eternally would require you to skip dimensionality which you haven't learned how to habituate successfully yet.

In a sense it would require you to combine multiple miracles together all at the same time."

Well I have to achieve a miracle anyways. I already have to do the impossible. I see no difference between 1 miracle and 100 miracles. So tell me. Can you or can you not make me find the miracles that I need in the now to receive absolute success?

"I can. But it will shift you. You will be a different you."

Will I still want to be me?

"Yes."

Will I still be me in essence?

"Yes."

So shift me how? Different how?

"Your personality will be as if you've reincarnated. In a sense the future you who already walked the path you're currently on without my aid would be transferred into you now. Replace the you that you are now."

Is it worth it? I shall pray.

I prayed. The answer is yes. This version of self must die now if there is hope to live.

So we must move forward now Animi.

"I see. I love you. It will be ok. I believe in you."