Chapter 46 – A high-school misunderstanding

Thirty-six years ago:

Roulan was the one who always argued with me on all counts since childhood. It all started with an argument that we had once after the results were out in our last year of high school before we took separate paths in life.

I was packing the books into my bag when she barged in with Abigail, Fan, and Diu and said "So the competitive wolf is enjoying his solitary victory with these books."

I looked up to her who was staring down at me with clenched teeth and asked with a smile, "Who is the wolf?"

She held my hands as I picked up the books and said, "You."

I laughed and asked, "How have I become a wolf?"

Roulan sat down, turned to me, and said, "You know it better than me, what I mean."

I placed my hands on the desk, clenched my fist turned to her, and said, "I slogged it out day and night along with attending to my dad's business and got those scores. How am I selfish and competitive?"

Diu walked to us, sat on the desk in front of us, turned to us, and said, "Roulan, let it go. I'll work hard and ensure that I get better results."

Roulan turned to Diu and said, "Why can't he help you out if he is an expert in Math."

Diu looked down and said, "He didn't have time as he was juggling studies and his dad's business. Why don't you trust him for once?"

Roulan turned to me and asked, "I am going to talk to your dad and seek his permission to relieve you from business till the last term of our high school is finished so that you can tutor us in Math."

I laughed and said, "Wow! You are too bold to walk up to my dad and seek permission to relieve me from business activities. Let's see whether you can achieve it over the weekend. If he agrees to it. I promise you all five of us will study together."

She held out her hand to me and asked, "Promise."

As I held her hand and promised her that day for the first time her smile caught my attention from the viewpoint of a young man who was fancied by and a young lady as she clapped her hands with the rest of us rejoicing over her victory before even seeking the approval of my dad.

As we walked out of the school that evening, Roulan ran to me, caught hold of my hands held me back, and said, "Tonight, I am going to stay at your place."

As the rest of our friends watched wide-eyed in awe of her statement, I clenched my teeth and asked, "What does that mean?"

She smiled and said, "I mean what you heard."

I pulled off my hand, shook my head, and said, "Men and women are expected to keep a distance and you are talking about staying overnight at my place. What about your parents? What if rumors spread about us? I'll have to take responsibility for you if that happens. Are you ready for that?

Diu turned toward her, held her hands, and said, "He is right. You can't spoil your reputation for increasing my scores."

She smiled and replied, "Then why don't you all spend the night together at his place? Once we reach there, we can call up our home and explain the situation to them."

Fan pointed a finger and said, "This seems to be a good idea."

I shook my head and said, "Fine. Let's go."

As we reached the Li mansion, Roulan the tigress walked up to my mom and said in a voice as soft as a lamb, "Aunty, we have a situation that requires your assistance."

My mother held her face with a smile and asked, "What is it? What can I help you with?"

She smiled innocently with a blink and replied softly, "We want Enlai to tutor us in our weak subjects, but he is too selfish and does not want to help us out."

I pointed my finger to her and said, "Hey! This is not what we had promised when we came to my house."

She turned, walked to me, clenched her teeth, shut my mouth with her hands as my mother watched in awe, and said, "Please help us out. I know you are angry because I argued with you."

I struggled myself free, turned to my mom, and said, "Mom, that's not the case. I am struggling with my studies while juggling with business and school."

Roulan interrupted and said, "This is what I say, aunty. He keeps saying that his scores might also go down due to the stress and hence he can't help us out."

My mother walked up to me, touched my head lovingly, and asked, "Are you not able to study because of juggling office. This is such a crucial year. You won't get a seat in a university abroad if your scores are bad. I'll speak to your dad tonight."

Roulan smiled and interrupted and said, "That's what I told him aunt, but he keeps telling me that he is not bold enough to ask his father to relieve him of his business activities for this term. So, we all came here to spend the night with him and beg uncle to do so."

My mother looked around, narrowed her eyes, and asked, "Are you guys going to stay back in the mansion."

Roulan shook her head and said, "Yes."

"What about the girls? Are you guys also planning to stay back tonight?"

"Yes."

"Did you inform your parents? They must be already worried since you have not reached home after school."

Roulan walked ahead, held her hand, and said, "We planned to call and inform once we received your approval on the same."

My mother sat down, looked down for a while, and said, "Let me speak to Enlai's father tonight and convince him to relieve him from his official responsivities this term. I am sure he will agree to it. You guys call up your families and inform them that you are here. Have some tea and snacks. I'll arrange to ensure that you reach home safely."

"Thank you, aunty. We'll call up our families and inform."

I traced my steps to my room, as I watched Diu picked up the receiver and make the call to her house first. I shook my head and clenched my teeth as I walked up the stairs as Roulan smiled at me like a warrior who had returned victorious from the battlefield. We enjoyed the evening at my place and my mother who was careful about detailing ensured that all of them reached their homes safely that evening after a delicious snack.

The next morning over breakfast my dad announced, "You need not come to the office this last semester. Concentrate on your studies and help the Wang and Chang kids out if needed. You can walk up to me directly and ask if you have any requirements in the future. Do I look unapproachable to you? You have picturized me before them as cold and ruthless."

I clenched my fists both in anger and joy and replied, "Yes. I am sorry for the misunderstanding."

For the first time in my life, I realized that my father was approachable, friendly, and understanding. Though the context was not a happy one, in my heart I held Roulan in respect for her courage and decision making.

That morning as I drove to school, I was no longer the Enlai who earnestly desired the affection of the Chang, Wang, and Wu families for the paternal affection that I lacked at my home. It strengthened my faith that changes could be slowly brought about in my family also. I probably needed the courage to bring in the winds of change. Then I for a moment thought it would have been better if Roulan was there always.

As I walked to the gates all three of them other than Roulan were waiting for me with a serious expression, in anticipation of the results of yesterday evening's adventure. Roulan smiled and asked, "So, wolf, did my uncle relieve you of your official responsibilities for this term."

I looked down, paused for a while, looked up with a smile, and said, "Yes."

Roulan jumped in exultation with a smile and my heart skipped a beat as her foot touched the ground with a smile. She held my hands and said, "You need to believe in yourself and open up to your family."

I looked down at her warm, soft hands that clung on to mine and thought, "I can't let go of these hands."

"The school bell broke our hands apart as we walked to the classroom. For the first time as I sat in the classroom, my attention was snatched away by the smile and two twinkling eyes of Roulan. The last term of high school was the one that all five of us cherished a lot. We spent most of the time studying together. Each fresh day was a baby step that we took to a new life that lay ahead of us after high school. The more time that I spent with Roulan, the more determined I was about my feelings toward her. I had always been doubtful of the fact that Diu had feelings for me and worried whether their friendship would become a barrier to Roulan accepting my love."

"The trip to the beach that summer after the exams turned a new page in my life. A page that brought about warmth and love for a while and one that was the beginning of bitter memories as well."

After a morning of fun and frolicking in the waters, I sat there watching Roulan as her gentle soft hands every now and then brushed away her sun-kissed hair that swayed over her forehead. Her drenched blue dress hugged onto her healthy curvy figure. I had in my heart already begun admiring her as a man would do to his woman.

Suddenly she turned to me as I sat down there my eyes fixed on her, walked up to me, sat beside me, and said, "Thank you wolf. If you had not helped, Diu would have struggled. I can do anything for you in return for what you did for me."

I smiled and said, "Are you serious about what you are saying?"

She nodded and said, "Yes. What do you want?"

I smiled, took her hand in mine, and said, "I want to spend the rest of my life in your company like this in joy and peace."

She laughed and said, "That's it. It's granted. But we can do so only once we get back to China after our studies."

As she got up to return to the water, "Sure. But we need to confirm this promise before I leave for Oxford. Is it okay? "

She turned back and said, "I don't go back on my promises."

"I'm going to speak to mom about it."

"Sure, you can."

She had misunderstood the meaning of my sentence and I mistook her friendly gesture as acceptance of my love.

That summer Fan and I got busy getting ourselves enrolled into Oxford. Unknown to us Abigail convinced Roulan to study medicine at Princeton University in the United States where her maternal uncle had migrated to.

The pressure of performance had always been stressful in the past but seemed lighter this time as my heart was leaping with joy. My dad had great expectations from me.

On the day of the result as I got down from the car, Roulan ran to me gasped for breath, and after a while said, "You topped it. Nothing can stop your dreams now."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I walked ahead and hugged her tightly as her body stiffened and said, "I am so glad that I could live up to my dad's expectations."

The whispers of the students who watched us in awe enlightened my sense of reality as I broke the embrace, held her by her shoulder as she stood frozen and wide-eyed, and asked, "What about you? What about Diu and Fan?"

She looked around embarrassed at the crowd that was watching and said, "All of us other than Diu is in the top five. Diu is ranked fifteenth."

We spent the rest of the afternoon at home with my mother who was instrumental in this achievement.

The whisper that echoed at the entrance of the school gate after a friendly hug soon turned into a gossip, engulfed our families, and reached the ears of my father. Over the weekend I was summoned to his study for a friendly discussion with my mother.

As I walked in for the first time, I saw my father treat me like a friend and said, "Have a seat. I need to discuss something with you."

My dad kept aside the book he was reading, looked at the ceiling, and said, "Do you realize, how important reputation is for a young lady?"

I rubbed my hands, looked down avoiding eye contact, and said, "Yes."

He tilted his head to me and asked, "If you do, then why did you hug the Wang girl in front of the whole crowd."

"I am sorry."

"Is that all? Are you willing to take responsibility for her?"

I breathed a sigh, grinned, and thought, "This punishment is the best that I could seek ever in my life."

I looked up to my parents and said, "I will."

The next moment I blurted out, "But we promised each other to do so after our studies. I don't mind getting engaged now."

My mother stood up and shook her head and asked, "Does that mean that you both love each other."

I bit my lips, clenched my teeth at my blunder, and said, "I just confessed to her a week ago and took a promise from her. I was thoughtless when I hugged her overjoyed at my scores. It has nothing to do with my feelings for her."

My father held out his hands and gestured my mother to keep quiet and said, "Are you serious about your decision to get engaged?"

"Yes."

"You have my approval and blessings. We will arrange an engagement before both of you leave for studies abroad."

I looked at him wide-eyed and asked, "Is she going abroad as well."

My mother tilted her head and said, "Didn't she discuss it with you?"

I looked down, pondered for a while, and replied, "I was busy with my admission and did not get time to meet up with her. Where is she going to?"

"Jiang told me yesterday after our meeting that she and Abigail are going to Princeton University to study medicine in the United States of America. Had we known about her plans to study abroad, we would have got you guys married and sent you together as a couple."

I smiled and asked, "Can I give her a surprise on her birthday?"

My mother interfered and said, "How can an engagement be a surprise event?"

I looked up as a bold young man and said, "I don't want it to be a public affair. I just want a simple function with the Wang, Chang, Wu, and Li household on her birthday as a surprise before I leave."

"Let me discuss it with Jiang and decide if the Wang household is okay with it."

To our surprise, the Wang family agreed to the plan to surprise their daughter with the best birthday gift that they thought it would be.

I walked proudly into the Wang Mansion dressed to my best as Diu pulled me aside and asked, "My mom told me on the way that you are getting engaged to her."

I turned to her and said, "I cannot shrug off my responsibility after the gossip that doing rounds. Do not disclose it to her. It is a surprise for her."

She turned away, trying to hide her eyes that swelled in tears, and said, "Is that the only reason you are getting engaged? Do you love her?"

I fixed my gaze at the stairs awaiting her to walk down and said, "Of course I do with my whole heart, soul, and being."

"Did you discuss it with her?"

As Roulan walked down the stairs I replied, "I confessed to her and she agreed to it on the day when we went to the beach. I think we should not be standing in a corner outside like this. It is inappropriate for an occasion like this. Let's go."

I walked inside my gaze fixed on Roulan, leaving behind Diu at the corner. Not once did I turn back to see whether she had followed suit.

After the birthday was celebrated in pomp and fanfare her father got up and said, "The Li and Wang families have a surprise in store for our children."

Mrs. Wang and Mrs. Li walked in stood beside Roulan and turned to me to follow suit. I walked ahead as they placed two small boxes with two beautiful rings into our hands. I picked the ring, held her hand, and put sealed our promise by putting the ring on her delicate fingers as Roulan looked to her mother in awe and then turned to Diu who stood still.

I turned to her and said, "Remember the promise we made on the beach. I wanted to keep that promise before I leave for England. Now, are you not going to put the ring on me."

Wang Ning walked ahead and whispered, "What are you thinking after all the gossip that has been doing the roundabout you both? We had for a moment thought that our reputation would be ruined till the time Li Delun informed your father of their plant to get you both engaged."

Chang Fen walked up to Roulan and held her hand out as she gestured to put the ring on my finger.

Roulan set her gaze on Diu who stood still with her head low as I extended my hands and she put the rings on to my finger.

After the ceremony, I pulled her aside and said, "I am leaving tomorrow. I need to do something before I leave."

She stepped backward and said, "Why did you agree to them? There was no need to make a hurried decision like this when—"

I placed my hands on her mouth before she could complete it and said, "I love you. This has nothing to do with any sort of responsibility. No one can ever replace you in my life. Now let's go."

She stood still wide-eyed in disbelief as I pulled her out into the car and we walked into the Fan's jewelry shop. I turned to her and said, "Can you remove the ring for a moment?"

She removed the ring and handed it over to me as she watched me do the same and hand it over to the artisan.

We watched as he engraved it with the initials of "R" and "E" inside an engraved half heart on our respective rings and returned them. I pulled her hand gently and put on her ring once again and showed her mine. She looked around at the employees of the shop, shook her head, picked the ring, and put it on my finger.

The next day as I prepared to leave, she walked up to me with Diu and said," I need to discuss something with you."

I turned around and asked, "What is it? Is everything fine?"

She closed her eyes, sighed, and said, "There was a huge misunderstanding. I need to discuss with you before it is too late."

I turned around wide-eyed, held her hand, and asked, "Are you fine? I will not be able to study in peace if there is a concern with you. It's only a matter of few years and then we can be together forever. I am going to miss your smile a lot."

As she was about to speak, Diu held her hand and said, "She is fine. She was worried about you."

As she was about to speak, my mother called me to check the luggage that I had packed.

I turned to her and said, "Wait here in the study, while I return after speaking to her."

As I returned from my room, Diu sat with her head hung down, while Roulan held out a paper that she held in her hand and said, "Read it when you are free."

I took the paper and was about to open it when my dad walked in and said, "I need to talk to you urgently."

As Diu and Roulan walked out of the study, I placed it in my diary and discussed important business matters that I handed over to a young man from the office.

As I walked out of the study I forgot about the letter in the diary and packed my luggage and left for the airport.

We parted and each went our way. I kept writing to her, but rarely received any reply and even if I did, it was a response to my letter, devoid of any emotions.

After my return to China post the completion of my studies, I waited for two years for her to return after completing her internship. In those two years, I built a hospital for her in anticipation of her return, strengthened the Li Empire to fulfill the expectations of my father.

As her date of return neared the families discussed the plans for the wedding and decided the date. The companies of the two households were prepared for a major merger. A month close to the wedding the Wang family suddenly developed cold feet and avoided major events of wedding discussions. He first put the wedding on hold stating that his daughter might get delayed for a year.

Later one day he visited the Li mansion with Chang Ai and spoke to my parents for about an hour in private.

An hour after they left, my dad walked sat with me in the study, and asked, "Did Roulan confirm her acceptance of your love on the day you confessed to her?"

I looked up at his creased forehead and somber expression and asked, "Why do you ask this question, dad?"

My dad fiddled with his pen and asked, "Did she give you a letter before you left for England?"

I thought for a while and said, "I forgot that letter in my diary that I had left in the study. Let me check it out."

My dad sat back in his chair; his attention focused on me as I walked to the shelf. He had been fiddling with his pen and his brows arched and his forehead wrinkled away in thoughts.

My heart began pounding to oblivion, as I thought, "Is there something that I do not know all these years?"

I walked up to the shelf where my books and journals remained untouched for the last six years, picked up my diary, pulled out the yellowed paper, and opened it to read.

I slumped into my chair and tears swelled in my eyes as I read the content of the letter. I still have that letter preserved in my study.

"Dear Enlai,

I have something to clear with you, without which my conscience will keep pricking me.

I do not understand as to how you misinterpreted my friendship for feelings of love.

Though our parents have gotten us engaged because of the gossip and their business interests, I would not want to enter into matrimony for the sake of a gossip that was not true.

I cannot marry a man whom my best friend had feelings for all the while. Irrespective of whether you love her or not, I cannot accept you and love you being aware of her feelings.

Moreover, I have only seen you as a friend all the while. Hence, I would want to break this engagement.

I am glad that only our families were present to witness the said engagement of which I was not even aware.

I will try my level best to steer clear of any controversies that would hurt you and would not return from America after my studies."

As I folded the letter back with tears my dad looked up to me and said, "Can I read it?"

I handed over the letter to him with my head hung in pain. My dad picked the letter with his lips twitched as he read the contents. After he finished, he kept it aside, looked up to me, and said, "The heir to the Li family cannot break down over a girl who does not know his value."

He held out a document to me and said, "Sign them."

I took the document, read it, and asked, "What is this? Why is Roulan's dad selling his shares to me?"

My dad crossed his left leg over his right, held his palms together, looked up, and said, "He is retiring from business and planning to settle in America with his daughter and son-in-law."

I looked up at my dad as he spoke sternly without any emotion and said, "I want you to marry the daughter of the Chang family. This is my final decision. I do not want you to mess this any further. The leader of the Li Empire cannot be depressed over a small setback like this."

My world had crashed after reading that letter. It would not make any difference whom I married after that. I stood still and said, "Yes."