Chapter 10

L's POV YEAR 2201

Sometimes they say the worst things are the things you lose or they say you will find the light you just got to run down the dark corridor for a little "the dark is more homey to me apparently....." I looked at my watch it show it was 4:00 am days after my birthday day I had stolen a cigarette from a caregiver and I'm now just sitting outside feeling the cold weather flow past my warm body I looked at the cigarette with a blank look " you never came back...." it's kinda odd that I feel abandoned when I know I wasn't abandoned...I put the cigarette and lit it immediately tasting the nicotine that I smell everyday. Everyday I walk to the orphanage out of pure boredom and to see what changes and nothing did change except everyone seemed happier "who wouldn't be happier knowing the damaged kid left randomly...."I spoke to myself as if I was speaking to someone " Safaera must had forgotten me that's not shocking we were always so different in more ways than one she was smart and I wasn't she did self care I didn't she was beautiful I wasn't she was a perfect child.....I never will nor was..."I breath in the bad smoke but I didn't care at least I wasn't cutting my left arm to death. I soon got up cigarette not finished yet and walked around feeling it get colder as I take off my jacket for some unknown reasons and I went onto a tree climbing it and sitting down watching the sky with a small smile " life was different just years ago..." I took the cigarette out of my mouth and watched the sky slowly falling asleep unknowingly I dropped the cigarette with a thought in my head 'I never will be worth what people say I'm worth....'

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

I groan loudly and turned off my alarm and sat up as I yawn I looked around to see my room and not outside..." the fuck..." I got up and stretch as I walked to the bathroom doing my stuff and brushed my teeth ignoring the blood that was coming from my gums as this happened every time I brushed my teeth I walked out my bathroom and grab my brush and started taming my rat ness of thick and naturally curly hair I looked into my mirror that I could hide by closing the slabs of wood attached to it I got dressed in a black button up and black jeans and I rolled my sleeves "Eh.... it will do" today was going to be my first day of therapy for my depression and no this wasn't my choice I would rather just leave it alone because it can only get worse then better but what the hell does a 14 year old know about themselves? Nothing I walked downstairs to see the only caregiver who still puts up with my shit "I hope you are hungry I already packed your backpack with stuff you will want" Em said as she smiled at me then brought me into a hug "you know it will get better if you talk about it" she said after pulling away from the hug and sat down " now come eat I don't want to down with a hungry and anger child" she laughed she soon took a role of a mother after I left she comes to cheek on me at morning and night then leaves for the rest of the day unless she is off work. I ate my food " thanks but who is my backpack filled with stuff?" I asked as I picked up my black Avantor backpack if you don't know what it is it's pretty much a damn expensive backpack that makes thief's unable to get into your backpack Em bought it for me years ago and it still works perfectly I put it on one shoulder as I cleaned our plates "well.....they want me to put you in a Psychiatric hospital so they can watch you I believe" she got up and grabbed her keys and her bag before going to her car while stand there very confused...I soon got in the car and we started moving now before y'all say 'why don't you call Safaera' look my Orphanage took my phone and deleted all my contacts when I left so I don't even know if she has a phone and she most likely does but again I wouldn't and I don't have time to waste speaking with someone I probably don't know so take a chill pill.