80 days after...

Today is an important day.

—What's going on?.

—Why do you ask? I'm not crying—I looked at him barely looking away.

—You don't seem to lack reasons—He went off his way to me.

—You don't lack either...—I stepped aside when noticed his intention to sit and he sat down—but you don't, do you?.

—I have more reasons why not to do it.

—Are you really that optimistic?—I looked at him with some anger.

—Of course not, but it is what you need.

Look again at the photograph above the fireplace.

I don't need pretty words, i need my parents.

My eyes drifted to the portrait of an old me, I hated the artist who painted it, he had the technique of portraying the souls of people in his eyes. I no longer even remembered that child, at least in my mind he no longer existed.

"You are very handsome Zachary, you look like your father".

"You have your mother's eyes".

And where are they now?

—Do you think I look like them?.

—Isn't it so with everyone?—I noticed that I look at myself and intersperse their eyes between the painting and me, but I kept my eyes on the portrait.

—Yes, you're right, it's like that with everyone...—the annoyance was reflected in my voice and I cleared my throat, was I about to cry?.

—I think sarcasm is not your thing.

—What? Don't you dare, you didn't know me in my best days, I was scathing and not- —I stopped when noticed his half smile, he got what he wanted.

—Why did you ask me that question?.

—They are not my parents, I am adopted—I hug my legs placing my meton on the knees seeing the severe face of my father—So... it's not supposed to be similar... You understand? Since I can remember, people have told me that I look like them... but i'm not even his son really

—You did not know?.

—I would be lying if said yes, but no, although deep down always knew it, I just had to confirm it, and did, of course did, otherwise I would not have destroyed the room...

—And you never asked?.

—It is not easy to express to your parents that you doubt that they are your real parents...—I settled into the blankets that I had around me—People keep secrets right? My parents had theirs...

—You're right—got up.

—Rais...

—What?

—What's your secret?

—It doesn't matter anymore.

I expected that answer.

—You know?—he looked at the picture of my family—Actually... you don't look like them... maybe as a child yes, but, I think you are more handsome.

And as if he had only breathed, he left me stunned in the room in front of the painting of my little family.

—I'll go out for a while, will you be okay?.

I nodded and heard him go.

Today is supposed to be my father's 45th birthday, I know that although if none of this had happened, we would not have celebrated it together, but at least I could have seen it through a video call that maybe I would hate to have with him because of the guilt, I could at least have hated her voice even for a few minutes... I needed it, more than could have ever imagined.

What the hell do I want a keychain for?.

—Hey...

—Mhm...

—Wake up.

I opened my eyes feeling a little burning when saw the light from Rais's flashlight. I had fallen asleep on the couch. The darkness around us warned me that it was already night.

—What? stop dazzling me—I reluctantly tried to push the flashlight away, making it to no avail.

—Go to sleep in your room.

—Really? let me here—I turned to face the backrest seeing my silhouette in the shadow.

—Tomorrow you will be complaining of pain.

—Ignore me.

The flashlight went off, letting the warm light from the fireplace reflect our silhouettes. It was scary to see the difference in size between them, it scared me even more when Rais leaned towards me taking my legs.

—Hey! What are you doing?!.

Am I a toy?

Very easily me carry in his arms like a child. I stayed static, What was he going to do to her? A tantrum? I kept very, very still on his chest, his terribly sweet scent made me turn my stomach as his body heat me into his- God! I AM SO PATHETIC! MY FACE BURNS THE JUST REMEMBERING IT!

—Okay.

And well, after all ... it's Rais. He carelessly tossed me onto my bed where I fell onto a remote control for a battery-powered car. That I complained about the pain made him stay a moment to check if he was alright.

—Are you OK?.

—Yes—I took the control from under me and threw it aside.

—So why were you crying?

—Because you threw me-

—Why did you cry yourself to sleep?.

I was silent for a long time, waiting for him to think he was asleep and to leave, but he turned out to be more persistent than me, maybe worse, because he even sat next to me.

—If you don't want me to point the flashlight at you, tell me

—What do you want to hear that you no longer know?—i settled on my side looking at in his direction, hiding the hands under the pillow—Today was my father's birthday.

He didn't say anything for a few minutes, I didn't wait for him to say something, he wouldn't say anything that he hadn't already said. I smiled when I could elucidate his silhouette in the dark, his presence gave me some comfort and I fell asleep soon after. I don't know how long he stayed by my side, I don't know if he even said something, but it was more than enough.

Rais, do you know the monsters under the bed? I think you scared mine.

Since I woke up it was the first time I had a dream, I would love to be able to tell you about it one day. I dreamed of my parents, it felt so real, I apologized to them for everything and even for doubting that they were my real parents, I told them that loved them and we cried together, it was beautiful, thank you.