100 days after...

Today marks 100 days since that day...

The worst?

I still don't understand what happened...

Do I care? Not much...

Does it hurt? Yes...

We live surrounded by a lot of darkness, too much, it is so suffocating that it is impossible to breathe because of the flame of a candle.

But if I have to get something good out of all this shit (besides Rais) it would be sky. The night sky, free of pollution, artificial lights, or factory smoke, I have never seen the sky as pure as it is tonight, it is cold, too much to be autumn, but the sky is so charming that I do not want to take my eyes off it. Too many stars to count, so immense ... it's so beautiful that I feel the need to go find Rais and drag him to the ceiling with me to look at him, but I don't want to risk ruining this moment.

A shooting star crossed the sky disappearing almost as fast as it appeared.

What can I wish that I have not already asked God?

Why would a star fulfill it?

But my mind drifted to Rais, what can I ask for you?

—Zachary... Zachary? Za...? Zachary?! ZACHARY!

I sat suddenly at the call and felt vertigo. I covered my eyes from the strong morning sun and looked around at the blankets and my journal.

I had fallen asleep on the roof.

—What are you doing up there?!.

—Why are you yelling at me?!—I looked out to see it—What is your problem?!

Let's just say yelling at me in the morning is not very commendable.

—You're going to fall—his jaw was set and his gaze fixed on me—Come down.

And remember that it is not advisable to yell at Rais at any time.

—Leave me alone

—What? "Leave you alone"? Are you serious, Zachary?—his voice sounded threatening.

I gulped and looked at him, his fists were clenched, thought it would be better not to go down, at least not right away. I began to gather all the things that I had brought up there and threw them towards my window noticing Rais's reaction to see how I had left there.

—Wait there! I'm going to find some damn stairs!.

Did he say a curse?.

—I always do it, it is not necessary.

Of course I never did it with public and less when the ceiling was wet from the morning dew.

—Zachary!.

Rais started to get closer and closer, it was strange for a moment, but by the time realized i was falling, hit my head losing consciousness.

A cold touch woke me up and when tried to move felt a strong contusion, my eyes closed immediately when saw the light and suddenly I felt a whole weight fall on my body, my whole body aches so much so that it even became familiar to me.

—What...?

—Ahg, fuck.

His voice brought me back to reality, but the situation was being quite... strange. He looked at me over his shoulder, was straddling me shirtless. I could perfectly see her broad back, her waist, her hips and above all, the scars, I knew it was not just that, it was a word, a name and then again, felt a deep pain, the same touch that had awakened me had been Rais's.

—What are you doing...?.

—Close your eyes and stay still.

—About what-? Ahhhh! What the hell are you doing?!.

—Wait... Stay still.

And suddenly, I heard a "crack".

The pain was so impressive that I couldn't even scream, just squeezed my eyes shut as I clenched my jaw feeling my whole body shudder. I tried to squeeze whatever was lying on, but it was worse because a pain in my left wrist made me gasp.

—You are a poor idiot.

I insult myself.

For the first time... Rais insulted me.

His tone of voice didn't even sound angry, rather, he was affected, worried or nervous, I couldn't tell, but I thought he was about to cry.

—Well... this is fine...

His movement was the least convenient and it was less so in the area where he was on my body. But he turned away without taking his eyes off my legs. And I looked at them. I guess was expecting to see myself without both legs, but unlike them, both were there, only the right one was elevated with two frozen meats on the sides.

—What did you do to me...?

—Why do you think it's all my fault? Can you stop being an idiot for a moment?

I kept silence. He denied a couple of times and sat next to me, I didn't know what he would do until he took my left hand. I tried to push him away because of the pain but he grabbed my elbow and gripped me so tightly that I knew couldn't fight him.

—It's going to hurt.

—What-? AHHH! STOP-!.

He didn't even listen to me, I just heard another "Crack" and again I couldn't continue, my eyes widened and my breath stopped at the shock.

—Right—He looked at me with some annoyance and bit his lower lip—You're going to hate me, but I have to.

—Believe me already hate you—I tried to push it away but was in so much pain couldn't do anything.

—I'm going to knock you out, okay?

—Okay...? Okay?! No, no way are you going to hit me-!—I closed my eyes before the pain in my head, took my forehead feeling the liquid in it, when looked at my hand was paralyzed when saw the red liquid.

—What happened to me?.

—You do not remember?—he took me by the face looking into my eyes.— What else don't you remember? You full name and age, say so.

—I remember, remember everything, but don't understand what all this shit is—I —pushed it aside so it wouldn't touch me.

—Apparently the roof is more comfortable for you than your bed.

I immediately remembered everything that happened until the last second and I couldn't help but tear for fear of my forehead.

—Please do not cry—He approached me again, I was about to push him, but I noticed the bruises on his shoulder and arm.

I put my hand on his shoulder staining his skin with my blood, put my hand away immediately.

—I fell... on you?

—You were actually going to fall to the ground,I caught you before but we fell and you hit your head, now you have a wound that I have to close, I'm just waiting for the materials to be sterilized—He placed his hand on my cheek and wiped my tears—Your knee and elbow were dislocated when you tried-, I don't know what you tried, but already accommodated them...

Why do you seem to cry?

You will cry?

I would have tried to hug him, but he didn't need him to pull away now, he just decided to pull away, the way to the kitchen and when he returned he had a tray that he left on the table in the living room.

—Are you going to let me hit you or not?.

—Are you crazy?! I'm not going to let you hit me!.

—Okay, so feel like a needle pierces your skin and the thread slides into your flesh.

And then had him on top of me again.

Rais was giant.

It is not a disproportionate sense, but rather, everything calculatedly distributed, and think that was what terrified me, that he had strength in every part of his body. I knew he was immobilized when tried to push him away, but it was too late, he, sitting so calm on my chest, began to thread a needle.

—Okay—lit a lighter by heating the needle—If you move, it will be worse.

—No! Stop! Waiting!—I yelled when he came up to me and stopped—Is it completely necessary? A dressing does not work?.

He reached for a mirror that was on the coffee table and left it in front of me.

I close my eyes immediately. How the hell is it that was still alive?.

An important gap was born from the edge of my hair back in a long line that made it almost impossible for me to see the end between the blood and the hair.

—Do you know what you do?—a few tears overflowed from my eyes.

—Look at me—indicated his body and i looked at him—I have experience ... Trust me, yes?.

I don't know why nodded at that moment, i was just lost in his eyes.

He put the mirror on my chest and clean the wound with alcohol, it was horrible.

—Well, I want you to breathe with me, okay?—He leaned in close to me and he didn't have his usual mint smell, I could only smell the smell of blood—When tell you, inhale and exhale... take a deep breath and it will be easier.

—Okay...—my voice was already shaking with fear.

—If you yell, he knocked you out—He sighed bringing the needle close to my skin—Inhale...

I did and felt nauseous. I believed that the blow was not going to be necessary, that I would pass out before it was over because feeling a needle pierce my skin was not the worst, the worst was feeling the thread running through it burning my skin.

—Exhale—again another piercing—Okay... it's the first.

—It hurt...

—I know—tied a knot and then cut the remaining surgical thread—Again. Inhale.

—Mmfh.

—Inhale!—I did it feeling the tears started to fall—Exhale...

Each "inhale" and "exhale" was poer, the wound was throbbing with pain, the tension between my skin, the strange sensation of the thread, and the terrifying softness with which Rais was moving, made that experience something horrible.

—Exhale—and he sighed with me—Right...—He cut the thread—Looks good—he looked at me and smiled—Try to listen to me the next time I warn you about something... I'm older than you and even though you haven't asked me, I'm going to take care of you.

—I am not a child

—Are you sure about that, Zachary?—collected all the things that he had used—I will go out to find something for your elbow and knee, stay still there, although being honest, you will not be able to move from the pain.

—Can I at least see how my immaturity left my perfect face?.

—All yours—he caught up with the mirror for me before disappearing into the darkness of the house, I knew from her steps that she was headed for the kitchen.

I looked at my forehead and admit, it was a very clean job, so much that worry about the experience Rais had in it and could only remember his body.

What's your story, Crestita?

And why do you have "ARCANGEL" writing on your back?