past 2

Sanjana pov,

I wake up in a strange place, when i look around i found Raj sleeping on couch, he looks handsome while sleeping like a cute baby. when i look around i found its not my home, may be its Raj room, and last night event come into my view like an broken images, but there are some more memory suddenly come in mind, which i thought i already have forgave it's a dream, or i can say that it's nightmare and in that nightmare some buddy holding my hand and saying some sweet words its Raj voice i thought its a dream and i am hearing his voice but now i know its actually not a dream he really said something.

But why my nightmare come again is it because i get drunk and alcohol open one peace of memory, i don't know but it's not a good sign. and then i hear Raj say something, which i definitely did not hear, he came again and sit beside me on the bad, said sorry again and again but his voice replace with and i hear, there are so many thought coming in my mind about Rai.

i just want to go home and have some alone time so i said that i want to go hame he drove me home, even if my mind in a mess, i can feel the warmth that Raj give me the feeling he give me, but i can't give him anything. i don't know why i had a bad feeling about my self.

when i enter in the house Suhani was there, we sit and talk about things and then she said move on.

" move on it's just a mistake, it won't change anything, we live like before " these word come into my mind, these were the word he said and it destroy everything in our life. these were the words that killed my happy life and family.

"I just can't move on, the person who hurt me the most is the closest to me " I said in angry, and the next second all the things come in my mind like an image, the part my mind bloke for long time come into my view but this time it's more clear than before.

I went came the room because i'm not sure if i am hurt in someone in this state of mind. when i look into the mirror i saw my mom dead body, and i broke the mirror there are many voice in my mind which i am not sure what it is about, i feel headache and i start throwing things in my room to subside the voice, when i destroy all things, the last thing in my hand was my mother photo frame. i hug the photo frame and lie on the bad took my sleeping pills and sleep

I don't know how long it was but all i can see is darkness, there is nothing except darkness, I did not want to find light, i just want to stay here. and then i see a figure who looks like me.

" sanjana get up why are you giving up mom will we said looking at you like that " she said.

" i won't, she did not love me, she leave me alone " i said with teary eye deep inside i know i am talking to myself.

" but she want you to be happy, she never want you to sad " she said.

" but i don't have anyone know, i miss mom " i said.

and then i see mom standing in front of me with her beautiful smile. i look at her and hug her.

"mom.... mom why did you leave me " i said crying harder she also hug me.

" my baby when you became so weak, i did not raise my daughter like that she is strong, never give up, how came you became like this " mom said to me braking the hug looking into my eye.

" i miss you, i feel alone without you " i said holding her hand. and looking at her.

" your not alone, you have everyone you need and you have your self who never leave you alone " mom said.

" but.... " i about to say something more that mom disappear and some light come into view people calling me.

." mom "..."mom"" don't go " there is more light but i was calling mom and mom again and again.

but mom disappear and all the darkness turn into light light, some one holding my hand and Suhani saying something, i open my eye and sudden two familer faces come into my view.

Suhani and Raj looking at me, with wary in there eye. i look around to find my self in hospital. when I try to get up Raj stop me and feel dizzy ness.

" why I am here" I ask looking at Suhani, she give look which like she is angry with me, i mad pout looking her with my best puppy eye. it always work when she is angry with me.

" you don't remember " she said still sulking okay I know i did something stupid I shouldn't let my haterted and anger overpower me, at that time I am not in my right state of mind. all the thought mix up and make me loss my mind.

" what were you thinking, how can you do this to your self..... do you even know how sacred I am looking at you like that " Suhani yelled tears Start flowing from her eye. she run out of the door crying.

" Suhani " i yell behind her and get up from the bed and feel on pain on food.

" ahh" I lost my balance and about to fall when Raj held me i did not look at him, feel his presence.