Chapter 6

Brie

Present

I am getting my hands on that baby for the first time today. I have looked forward to holding the tiny bundle in my arms all week. I love babies. I love the way they smell, the way they feel and sound, and I just melt when their tiny little hand wraps around my finger. God, I hope he likes me.

Little Cassian's mom and dad have a date night planned for his company's awards banquet, and afterward, they are staying at a resort hotel in Orange County for the night. That means, I'm staying the night at their house, and I get twenty-four full hours to bond with my new charge.

It is kind of crazy how excited I am to see a tiny human. It is like I'm going on a first date.

Will he like me? Will he cry the moment he sees me? Is he gonna be traumatized when his mamma walks out the door? Am I going to know what to do if something goes wrong or if he gets sick in the night? All these questions are tumbling around in my head.

I have memorized both his parents' mobile numbers, the police department's number, the fire department's number, and the number to poison control. I can do this. Women take care of babies and live to tell the tale every single day. The fact that they are leaving their baby in the hands of a girl with zero experience in the childcare industry probably makes them nervous, too. I did, however, take a course back at home and became certified in infant care and CPR. I figured this was a good idea just in case the job at the club did not work out because California is full of mothers who either work all day or shop all day and need someone to raise their children for them, right?

Melanie White is neither of those moms. She and Rick are very nice, and I can tell she is a good mom and happy to be at home with her son, but everyone needs a break now and then. They are a good fit for me with my school and work schedule. I'm so happy they are entrusting their baby boy to me. I don't take that gift lightly, and I will not let them or that little guy down.

"Oh my God, thank goodness you are here. I'm running so late." Melanie opens the door as she juggles securing a sparkling earring to one of her earlobes. She is teetering on one stiletto heel. "Rick will be here any minute. Cassian was a little fussy and needed extra cuddles, so I wasn't able to get in the shower until fifteen minutes ago."

I can tell she is a bit frantic as I look around the living room strewed with discarded dresses and shoes. Being a new mommy has to be hard, even for the ones who stay home ninety percent of the time. Babies are time-consuming. I take a look around at the mess and decide I will help pick up once I get the baby down for the night. I can hear his unhappy cries coming from down the hall, and I follow the sound.

"I'm going to go calm him down. You do what you need to do. Don't worry about us," I tell Melanie.

I receive her appreciative, "Okay. Thank you so much, Brie."

I find the nursery, and I'm immediately enchanted. The walls are a pale blue-green, and one wall has a beautiful forest mural painted on it. It reminds me of my childhood. I loved the trees and earth and the sky and the animals. I walk over to the crib where all the screaming is coming from, and I look down into the most charming little, wet, bright red face. His tiny body is wiggling in discontent, and he is screeching his displeasure at being ignored loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

"Hey there, little guy. You sure seem a bit upset. Are you not getting enough attention from these stuffed lions and giraffes for your liking?"

He starts at the sound of my voice and then begins to settle.

His wails turn into whimpers as he looks up at me. I am not sure if he is old enough to be able to see my face clearly yet, but I know he can hear my soothing tone. I pick him up and snuggle him into the crook of my arm. I gently bounce him as I begin to sing an old Italian lullaby my nonna would sing to us when we were babies. He begins to coo up at me as his little eyelids start to droop. He is absolutely adorable. He has a dollop of dark hair on the top of his head and a deep dimple in his left cheek. I just want to pinch the cuteness. I'm instantly in love.

"Oh, he likes you very much. Totally smitten."

I look up at Melanie, who is now completely pulled together and leaning against the doorframe, watching us. She looks stunning in her cocktail dress.

"The feeling is definitely mutual." I don't know why I was so unsure about this. I am certain this job is going to be the highlight of my new life.

After I have the baby fed, bathed, and peacefully asleep, I settle in on the oversize couch next to his bassinet and watch him sleep. I'm vaguely aware that I won't sleep a wink tonight. I keep looking over to make sure his little chest is rising and falling like it should be. How do new parents get any rest? I'm terrified to close my eyes.

I make my way to the kitchen to pop myself a bowl of popcorn, and then I grab the remote and settle in for a long night of late-night trash TV. I like this. Don't get me wrong; nights with my roommates are fabulous. They are fun. I finally feel like I am a part of a tribe. Living with them has been so much easier than I expected. I don't want to jinx myself, but between them, school, and this job, I'm very content. That scares me because, every time I let myself fall into happy contentment, the floor always drops from beneath me. I don't want to be the girl who's always looking over her shoulder for the bad news lurking around the corner, but that is what this past year has reduced me to. What if it doesn't last?

I hear a little sigh from the bassinet and decide that I will not look for trouble anymore. If trouble is coming for me, it is going to have to look hard to find me.

* * *

The next morning, Melanie and Rick arrive home and regale me with stories of their adventurous night. I can tell they really enjoyed having some baby-free time together. It made me even prouder to be taking on this responsibility. I think parents who get plenty of planned alone time are able to recharge and be more focused parents. Little Cassian deserves nothing less than one hundred percent from all us adults in his life.

"How did it go with him last night?" Melanie asks as she scoops yogurt on top of a bowl of cut fruit and hands it over to me.

"It was wonderful. We cuddled and played a little, but he mostly just slept and pooped all evening, as four-month-olds do. He woke up at three a.m. and five a.m. for his bottles, and other than that, we had an uneventful night."

She nods. "He has been an easy baby so far. We are blessed. You know you are welcome to come by anytime, right? Even if we don't have anything in particular planned. Just come get a snuggle whenever you feel like you need one."

She knows this move has been hard on me. We talked in-depth about the changes I was making before I arrived. I like Melanie. She is easy to talk to, and she doles out sage advice. We became close friends while communicating before my move. She is more than my employer; she is a friend, and even though she is only ten years my senior, she is even kind of like a second mom.

As I say good-bye to the little family, I have a feeling of sadness wash over me. I miss my brothers. Yes, they are overbearing and even brutish at times, but they fiercely love me. All of them, especially Nicco. For all the grumbling and griping he did, being forced to have me tag along with him and his friends all those years, we actually grew to be quite close. He was my protector and my confidant. Families are hard sometimes. No one can make you happier or drive you crazier than your own flesh and blood. You know each other too well, and you know how to push each other's buttons. If only we could have stayed little. Chasing fireflies and wrecking bikes were our biggest worries. Everyone has to eventually grow up even if you have to be dragged into adulthood, kicking and screaming.

I take my phone out to call Nicco. I promised I would check in once I was settled. As much as I want as little contact as possible with them all, I still don't want them to worry. The call rings twice before my big brother's deep voice comes through.

"Hey, cara. Glad you finally decided to call your worried brother and let him know you were still breathing."

I knew he was going to get his shots in. Nicco is not a big fan of my life changes. He doesn't agree with running away from your problems. He thinks everyone should face them head-on and let them beat the absolute shit out of you in the process.

"Challenge makes you stronger, sis, and trying to outrun your problems isn't going to make them disappear."

That was his brilliant advice when my life imploded.

I never expected my problems to disappear. I wanted to disappear.

"When life flays you, you just stick it out and hope a thicker skin grows back in its place. It's our family's way," he said.

And he was right. It's how the women in our family have always lived. I have watched my mother turn the other cheek so many times, just to watch the shit get slapped out of the other a second later. I vowed a long time ago to never let that be me. I love my mother, but I don't respect her very much. Letting a man treat you like a piece of property he can rule over and letting him humiliate you time and again with his affairs and dismissal are not things to be proud of. She thinks it makes her a strong matriarch. I think it makes her seem weak. It is not something to pass down to your daughter like a fucking badge of honor. Although Lilliana Mastreoni likes to wear it like it is one. That would not be ... could not be my life. I love my papa, and he has loved and doted on me my entire life, as I am his princess, but I hate so many things about him and the life he forces all of us to lead.

"Well, I'm still breathing, big brother. Actually, I'm quite happy here. I like my classes, and I have not one, but two awesome jobs and a couple of crazy-as-hell roommates. Life is shaping up pretty well here."

There is a long pause on the other end of the line. Then, "I'm happy for you, sis. I just wish you had found that here. I miss your bratty face. We all do. I think Tony is eating his feelings. You should see the weight he has put on since you left. Total blubber butt now."

I laugh at his attempt to be funny. Tony is a gym rat. Completely obsessed with his muscles that one.

"So, you think you are there to stay, huh?" I can hear the sadness in his voice.

"Yeah, Nicco, I'm here to stay. Be happy for me, please. You are more than welcome to come visit me. I wouldn't be opposed to that. Maybe in the spring?"

"A visit? You are going to allow me to come see you? Won't that blow your cover?"

"I am not in the Witness Protection Program, Nicco. I just changed my name and moved to a new city. I can have a brother visit. Just keep New York in New York."

"Got it."

"So, spring?"

"Yeah, sis, spring."