17) A Moment

Edward

It was Thursday morning and I had come to the office a bit earlier than usual. Only a few of my employees were there and Allison was still yet to arrive. For some reason I just could not sleep last night. Matter of fact I could barely get any sleep in for the past few days. I did not really feel like myself. Anyone who knew me well enough would know I did not look like myself. 

The dark circles under my eyes and lose of colour in my skin was visible to anyone. I had barely stepped a foot out of my penthouse for the past week which was rare. I had canceled most of my meeting in the excuse that I was not feeling well. Being mentally unwell was the same as physical, right? I could have easily put on a bit of makeup under my eyes to hide my discoloration like I always did, but I simply did not have the energy. 

What was worse I had told Amanda I had an emergency flight to Los Angeles for a week just to avoid meeting my family. My mum would bother me nonstop, even though I was a grown man she still treated me like a baby. Amanda would have nagged me to death about my sudden mood shift and worried. They would have all worried. I had closed myself off into this dark room when Selena had left me. Just as the memory started bubbling up inside I had closed it off before it could seep through like a virus. 

Whilst I had locked myself up and hid from the outside world I had completely forgotten that Vasili had gone back to work a few days ago. I had received one text from him asking if I was okay which I did not respond too. We both knew the reason for my sudden isolation and I had no energy to deal with him at the current moment. Yet as my private elevator reached the top floor of my office I felt my breathe hitch when I set sight of the white haired boy. 

He did not notice me till he heard the obvious ding of the elevator as the doors opened. He was engrossed into whatever file he was holding and simply thought it was Allison. Very slowly he turned around and saw me. It was obvious he looked different. His long hair was a bit short now and for once he wore a suit to work. Obviously he had to add his own twist to it by wearing a v-neck shirt instead of a button up and sneakers. It was slightly odd to see him dressed as a formal working citizen and I did not like it. That was not who he was. 

Deciding to bury whatever emotions I had for him deep, deep down. I walked out holding my briefcase and coat. "Morning Vasili," I said coolly as I headed to my office. 

"Morning Ed," he responded quite breathlessly. I did not spare him a second glance as I stepped into my office and shut the door behind me. To say that was easy would have been an overstatement. A few moments later whilst I sat on my desk and got my computer ready the door opened. "Are you okay? You didn't come to work last week and you didn't respond to my texts," he said walking in like things were perfectly fine between us. 

"Dandy. Now please get out of my office and knock next time," my voice sounded just emotionless as you could imagine. 

"Ed," he said softly as he neared my desk. 

"Edward, not Ed. Don't make me repeat myself," I looked up from my computer to him. 

"Don't be like this Ed. I know I hurt you, but you have to understand where I'm coming from," he neared me once again and tried to put his hand on top of mine. 

I immediately recoiled as if he were on fire and stood up, "Look Vasili we both know why I was not at work so let's not pretend that things are all sunshine's and rainbows between us. We are in a work environment and that is how it should stay. As professional as possible between an employer and his employee for the time being. Whatever personal things that happened between us can be discussed after work hours."

"You're being ridiculous," he rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest. 

"Do I make myself clear Vasili?" My voice rose just a tad bit, but it got the message across. 

He simply stared at me with what seemed to be confusion and anger. His lip twisted in a distasteful manner, "yes your Royal dickness," he growled before pointedly turning around and marching out my office. 

Not even seconds later Allison walked in holding a cup of coffee in her hand, "that seemed tense," she chuckled as she put my coffee down. 

"Thank you," I sighed before taking a long needed sip of my ridiculously strong coffee. 

"What happened between you two? It was all best friend vibes and good times a week ago," Allison was also one of my oldest friends, but I felt that this was just too personal to share with her. We had high respect for one another so I knew she would never judge, but at the moment I felt like everyone would have judged. 

"We had a bit of an argument, but don't worry about it. Do I have any meetings for the day?" She handed me my schedule and just like I had suspected it was going to be a busy day. 

"That's what you get for missing out on work boss," she winked and laughed. She ran out the office before I could throw my pen at her for mocking me. Her and Amanda were nearly alike, that was why I made sure they did not interact much. When they were together it was utter chaos. 

For the next four hours I was in and out of meetings. It was not even one p.m yet and I was drained. That was what happened when you barely got a good night sleep in. I promised myself I would jump into bed immediately after work because at this rate I would not last till the end of the week. During lunch I heard a knock on my door and I called for the person to enter. To my demise walked in Vasili looking sheepish as ever. 

"Yes?" I asked him as he stood in front of my desk with his hands clasped together in front of him. 

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out for lunch?" He tried to smile, but I could tell he was nervous. 

I leaned back against my chair and stared at him. Everyday we would go out around this time or order something in and share it together. I understood he was trying to get back a sense of normalcy between us, but it honestly felt like it was too soon. "Vas," I sighed not knowing what to say, but before I could come up with a reasonable excuse why we could not, he interjected. 

"Look Edward I'm sorry for everything. I know this was just as hard for you as it was for me, but please don't punish me for this. You're still a great friend to me and practically the only real friend I've had in years. I know this is hard for you, but I just really miss my friend," his voice was soft and his eyes barely met mine during his little speech. I tried to pay attention to what he was saying, but all I heard was 'friend'. Was that what I wanted? For us to just stay as platonic friends despite everything that had happened between us. A week ago it would have been all I settled for, but being in front of him, could I just accept that? 

To be close to him and not feel anything, but friendship. To watch him and Mary for the next upcoming weeks and feel no jealousy whenever they smiled at one another or wished it was me in her place. "Vas I just need a moment," that was all I could say. His face fell, disappointed and the hopeful smile he had one his face vanished. His shoulders slumped slightly as his cheeks flushed for a minute from my rejection. At least he felt the better half of rejection. 

"Okay," he said then walked out my office without another glance in my direction. A frown immediately found its way onto my face when he was gone. He was making an effort for things to be normal between us. For us to go back to where we use to be and I was completely shutting it down because I was too afraid of getting hurt. Had I not made a promise to myself to respect his decision since it was the more sensible thing to do?