This is when I met the Red-Pink Oni

20 December 422

Two days of intensive pestering was what it took for us all to get Fourier out of his shell. The young man was still uneasy when speaking about any topics somehow connected to his father, but he had slowly come to realization that waddling in that sadness wouldn't do well for him.

Surprisingly enough, while I had thought this to be the main focus for these two days, I eventually realized that the real problem I had to fight quite 'fiercely' and whenever possible was the subtle advances of a dense green-haired girl.

Crusch had managed to keep herself from making any attempts as our mutual friend was suffering the worst. Quite thoughtful, but I knew well within the boundaries of what I could see that it was a temporary 'truce' from giving it a serious try. Once she got a glimpse of a recovery from him, the young woman found it to be the best hint she could get from the situation to actually try out her chances at 'courting me'.

It was nothing too rushed, but I could feel the 'initiative' in particular cases.

The first attempt was the tamest possible, and I found myself to blame by being awake so early in the morning. The habit had finally started to sting me with the paperwork, and now I had a new problem that capitalized on my particular sleeping schedule. Crusch was, much to my 'surprise', awake herself as I decided to spend the first few hours of the day walking around the castle.

I found her speaking with Ferris, with the brunet lamenting over the fact he was forced to be awake for the morning shift. I approached the duo while smiling a little bit at Felix's huge yawn while looking around for anything that could distract him from the boring duty.

With his expression brightening the very moment I got close enough to draw his attention, the cat-boy almost blitzed up to me to greet me first.

"Good morning, Feli-!"

I tensed up as he bear-hugged me once I was in his range, forcing me to wrap my own arms around him to stop him from making me fall backward.

"Johnyah~~" He whined muffledly from my shoulder. "Can you tell Captain Marcus to leave me be with my bed?"

I snorted in clear amusement at that request, urging me to pat his back to show my sympathy over the plight he was forced to live through on a daily basis.

"Now, now, Ferris, it wouldn't be correct with the other knights if you were the only one to be given some more hours of rest," I replied calmly. "And I don't think I would be able to convince someone like Captain Marcus. I don't have that kind of power."

"But aren't you Miklotov's heir?" He inquired, and I took a brief moment to realize what he was talking about. Technically speaking, he should be correct as the role should warrant a degree of influence within the castle. I was the 'vice'-Prime Minister, as I was meant to replace Miklotov once the Elections would start on a proper way.

Heck, the man has given me a schedule about lessons that I supposed to take after lunch was over. The focus of these lectures were to bring to my attention the full bureaucratic system that existed in the macroeconomic picture of the kingdom.

From diplomacy about alliances, treaties, military agreements, to the full scale of levies and taxes administered out of the various vassals that recognized the sovereign of the Lugnica as theirs.

The true experience of a feudal system was finally unveiled to me, revealing quite the well-oiled machine that had managed to work things through for so long without needing much of a reform after centuries of existing.

But sadly enough, said machine needed to get fixed one way or another. The last few years have shown how there were still circumstances that the kingdom itself wasn't capable to take on with the proper timing. And that mean that I was going to need to push for some reforms as quickly as possible once I had the chance to do so.

Still my position at the moment was merely ceremonial than else as I didn't get any role in the government, nor I had anything that could genuinely force people to listen to any order I could give.

So I sighed and shrugged as the hug ended. "It's a formal title. Not much weight behind it except for some political clout."

"It would be still enough to force some nobles to listen him," Crusch added with a nod. "But nothing that would sway orders from the Royal Commander of the Knights."

The Demi-human nodded, a minor grimace spreading on his face at the 'tragic development' of this discussion. Still, just as the aftermath settled, Felix spoke up once more.

"By the way, Johnyah," The brunet started chirpily. "Lady Karsten said that she wanted to take a walk around the castle and, since I'm stuck with this task... can you please walk with her?"

I almost facepalmed at the blatant and forced request from Ferris, but I was more caught up by the fact he was promoting this development.

I ended up taking on the offer and spend some time with Crusch, talking to her about random and seemingly unrelated subjects to the main motivation behind the unexpected walk. We returned by the living quarters for breakfast time and... things didn't seem to calm down from that point onward.

Even though Felix mentioned no genuine knowledge behind the sudden interest of the Duchess to spend time around me, I was quick to explain to him what the woman's father had told me.

The brunet was definitively surprised, but also wary of the fact that this was a scenario nobody had seen it coming until the moment it happened. And it was still bad considering that we were both staunch believers of a romantic relationship between Crusch and Fourier.

With the prince having his own troubles to deal while we offered plenty of support and assistance, the blond was in no shape to actually consider his efforts with Crusch at the moment.

At this point, it was just a matter of holding bravely and strongly before her courting, to make sure that my reluctance wasn't visible enough to gain her shunning, but also to not give any wrong hinting about being interest in deepening our bond. And it wasn't easy by all means.

In fact, the tame became a little bit noticeable by the time of the second day. Crusch was relentless with her slow approach, and her careful efforts were actually well-planned considering how inexperienced she was about love.

I would even go as far to say that I would've been quite endeared by her hard work to try and get me to lower my defenses and show if I had any interest in her beyond mere friendship or not. I did get in some close calls with girls interested in me back in high school, but even then I was morally forced to cautiously rebuke their attentions out of the fact that some of my former friends did care for them in a romantic light.

I ended up creating some stable couples by keeping myself away from any trouble about the topic, but...

There was just a time when I really got close to someone. She was so bright, so lovely, so endearing and... so far away. So difficult to get hold of, all because of obstacles born beyond my own capacities. We ended up parting abruptly before anything happened, and our last meeting was...

Sad.

She was happy, or she tried to appear so when I noticed her approaching. She looked so disappointed in me, in herself, and to the causes that drove us apart.

And I didn't hesitate to smile and apologize for how things ended.

She didn't answer to that, and our interaction was so brief it seemed like a mere daydream in the middle of our respective errands.

After two days of helping Fourier while also balancing out Crusch's relentless advances, I found myself wandering alone by one of the sections of the castle I had explored just barely in my previous visits.

The library was still one of the few places I hadn't paid a complete trip, and I was feeling rather interested by a couple of tomes that Miklotov had mentioned in our first 'lesson'. Most of those were about special taxes that have been applied in specific regions of the kingdoms for specific reasons, while the rest was all about magic.

My Gate has... improved. Somehow.

I was still unsure as of what might have caused this massive growth in the span of a couple of months, but the high amount of Mana being processed on a daily basis made it a must for me to increase my magical arsenal. My main element was Yang, and I was supposedly meant to be stuck in the support class of Medic.

...But I had also discovered that Yang could also be used for other things. I had some suspicions back when I first discovered that Echidna (and thus the rest of her clones) had a strong affinity for the Light element and had been known for a couple of highly-damaging offensive spells.

Spells that I was interested to learn with a steady pace and in due time, but I also wanted to add my own 'mark' in magical history by using a detail of Yang that was never used much for.

The art of Creation.

Magical Constructs were a thing, yes. But for offensive purposes? It was incredibly rare and mostly cumbersome to replicate in large scale. And Everyone loved the whole 'Superior Firepower' capacity this trait could offer that they couldn't see the true potential held within the element.

Something that absolutely rendered me a magical enigma, and someone that shouldn't be fought without a hard-thought plan beforehand.

Still, I wasn't there to practice any magic. Just some light reading before I was meant to return back to the new troublesome routine I was forced to live by until Fourier managed a full recovery out of his depression.

The place was mostly quiet, with just a handful of guards passing around and keeping watch over the place as I carefully wandered by the aisles containing the books I was searching. My little search ended quicker than I had expected, and I arrived at the empty table I had chosen to sit by mere minutes after I had entered the large room filled with historical documents, fiction, and magical tomes.

Once I was seated by one of the comfy chairs, I opened the first book I had found. It was something that detailed the full extent of 'strange events' that had happened to the Royal Family. Someone had seen it proper to document the confusing deaths and disappearances that had each year lessened the number made by the members of the Lugnica Household.

It was particularly slim considering that the historian that had taken up the task had died a decade or two ago, and the rest of the 'tragic development' was detailed in two other books in that small stack of paper I had recovered from my search.

Yawning a little as I lost focus of time and made my attention through the first ten pages of the book, I barely noticed that someone else had entered the library.

Soft footsteps, my ears twitched at the barely perceived change in the room. It was still enough to warrant a glance away from the words in the book, and I quickly retracted my sight the very moment I spotted the 'intrusion' in that peace.

Walking calmly, as if patiently waiting for something, a pink-haired young woman donning a maid uniform made her way through some of the aisles.

Ram looked uninterested by my presence at first glance, but I could feel that her presence here and now was just way too coincidental to be casual.

And my suspicions increased to a deepened state of doubt when she ended up picking a thin book and walk right up to the table I was sitting by.

"May I take a seat here?"

A simple request. One I would've easily said no if not for the fact that any rejection could be considered by possession-master Michael Jackson to actually press more to learn about me.

And I wasn't really keen to get Roswaal's attention this early on. Especially with how dangerous he could get if he knew of my connection with Edna, Satella and Sphinx.

Thus I merely nodded, returning my attention back on my books and away from engaging any interactions with the serious maid.

Out of the Oni Twins, Ram was someone I really was unsure how to tackle on a direct confrontations. Sure, I didn't have to fear for a flail to smash my skull in if I ended up saying something 'wrong', but the pinkette had something that many lacked in this world.

A silver tongue that was the most cutting of them all. The pure simplicity of her daily trouble creates a character that I can't help but like and detest at the same time.

She is quick-thinking, smart, and terribly dangerous despite the lack of her full strength since she had lost her horn when she was younger. If Rem was the soft-spoken girl that one could easily grow close to, Ram was the cheeky one that would use all circumstances to troll those that stupidly got too close to her.

Subaru was the prime example that trying to get to know the pinkette easily resulted in a quick death. She was one of the few individuals that had learned to play the harshest of games by merely surviving a tragedy and becoming stronger through that moment. Her crippled self barely showed any signs of weakness that could allude to any chances of exploiting her prodigious mind and important knowledge.

I took a moment to sigh, noticing that the girl was stealing glances my way and hardly paying attention at her own tome.

...

She is onto me, isn't she?

I closed my book, eyes closing for a moment as I prepared for what was going to be a troublesome conversation.

"Do you need something from me?" I asked with the driest tone I could muster... and I ended up getting silence in return as Ram suddenly started to be engrossed by whatever was written in that tiny book.

Sighing, I stared at her intensely. "You know, it's rude to stare and then try to make it seems you're reading."

...

There was no response... again. And I was getting quite frustrated with this silly game-

Oh, right... she is doing this on purpose to enable me, isn't she?

I guess the only way to get some answers was for me to push back with a greater intensity.

Instead of pestering her with more words and be ridiculed the same way Barusu would, I merely stood up with my books and made by way to another table.

From there, I waited just a couple of seconds and... the girl moved out of her table with a slightly annoyed look. She walked up to my table and once again asked.

"May I take a seat here?"

I glanced up again to stare at her, this time taking my sweet time to answer. Pink clashed with chocolate, and the local sass came in contact with outwordly sass.

"Uh... I don't know," I replied slowly, faking stupidity. "I don't trust people that I don't know for sure... are you perhaps an admirer?"

Her irritation grew more at that question. "I'm not."

"And how do I know for sure?" I pressed on, my cheeky smile twitching eagerly by my lips.

Ram-chi narrowed her eyes even more at that instigation.

"May I take a seat here, Lord Bukharin?"

I smiled for a little longer, just enough to scratch at her exposed nerves.

"Since you are so polite... why not?" I gestured her to sit by the chair in front of me.

There was some hesitation at the sudden 'let go', but while the maid was going to think a lot about this matter... the reality was that I was only playing mind games with her.

One of the few things I could easily do to Ram was manipulating her to get irritated and 'abandon her task for superior reasons'.

Time to test her patience and devotion to the cause... in the most brutal but still effective method of torture possible!

"So are you going to talk about your creepy staring or-"

"I was surprised by the fact that you were actually spending time in this place," She interjected swiftly and mercilessly. "My apologies for giving the worst of assumptions, Lord Bukharin."

Oh? Trying to outpace me like that?

Let's see how she likes a little shake.

"Apologies accepted, Ram," I replied quickly and carelessly, drawing a surprised look out of her as I addressed her with her true name. "But next time... I think you should also include an introduction to the apology. It avoids you the risks of still irking people despite your 'sincere' intentions." Or, you know, can still be a massive bitch and still play around like that.

"I suppose you're also aware of why I'm here right now," She dryly commented. "So I don't see neither a reason to introduce myself, nor why I should specify why we're talking."

I shrugged. "I mean, it could be that you just wandered off for a quick read, but you got mesmerized by my presence," I started with quite the narration, stopping to see her flat look just undermining everything and my whole existence. "And by 'mesmerized' I mean, you saw me and you thought about the possible rewards the Margrave is going to give you at the first chance of knowing more about a new political player. You cheeky girl!"

The teasing half-worked, as she looked away with an annoyed look... and a tiny speck of red adorning her cheeks.

Ah, to think that this encounter would've been this much... amusing. Good God, why didn't Subaru do something about this? It would've been hilarious!

But no, the NEET had to make things limited to just Emilia and Rem in the early arcs. Why not include the sass to the crazy mix when you have the naive half-Elf and the fanatic Blue Oni?

Sass is... important. Kazuma is the perfect example of it by merely being himself.

Except around Megumin in the latter bit of the series. Never understood why the creators of Konosuba went on with the idea of having him and the Explosive maniac to end up together. I don't have anything about that lovely explosive fiend, but I really didn't feel that Romance to that 'degree' worked well with the comedic nature the show started with.

But that's an opinion of a show I wasn't going to see... for a long time. And with 'a long time', I meant 'never again'.

...I hope Aqua will still be as 'useless' as I remember her being if I manage to make it back home just once.

"Anyway, what's the Margrave interested about?" I asked politely. "Surely he wouldn't be pressing for much. So let's get through with this instead of playing a game of chase."

"He was surprised by your appearance."

I blinked at the comment, but I quickly realized what she was talking about.

The little book the 'cheerful Clown' was hiding from the world wasn't giving him much info about me. I was an anomaly, enough to push him away from making any direct interactions with me.

That was quite fun news to be rewarded with, but I wasn't certainly going to pass the opportunity to squeeze more info out of her.

"I suppose I can be rather stunning to some eyes," I mentioned with a mirthful tone, then gracing her with a curious look. "Still, I dare to ask: what do you think of the speech I've given two days ago?"

Ram blinked. "Lord Roswaal thought it to be... interesting."

"Not the answer I asked for," I pointed out with a sigh. "I want your genuine opinion. Your biased, rude, and possibly crass thought you might have about me."

The maid seemed rather surprised by the request, but she frowned at the adjectives I used to depict whatever her mind had cooked out of my speech AND this very encounter.

"I think you should've added 'disappointed' and 'depressing'," The girl muttered with a nod, making me smile as she was indirectly playing this fun game. "But why should I even bother giving you my opinion? I don't see how it would matter to you considering I'm just a lowly servant?"

"If by lowly you're trying to humbly say pleasantly sassy and interesting, then yes," I complimented back at her. "And don't diminish your value, Ram. You might be surprised how highly I consider you from an objective perception I got from your situation."

She huffed, crossing her arms close to her chest. "Forgive me then, Lord Bukharin, but I fail to see how this would be convenient to me. I'm the one that is meant to gain information over you-"

"And you are. You already got out of me a considerable amount of respect by being a good older sibling."

...

"What?" The Hornless Oni inquired blankly.

"Just take the compliment, Ram," I muttered calmly. "I'm literally trying to play cool with the fact you decided to come her by your own accord to try and get anything to blackmail me with."

She tensed up at the sudden mood swing, but I wasn't letting go of the fact that...

I was in control of this conversation. I was in control from the very beginning, and I was going to end this by my own accord.

"And yet now, you're the one getting to face the issues of blackmail," I continued with a hum. "Emotional one at that. But I can also blackmail Roswaal with far more dirt than his influence can deal with. I can ruin him if I want to."

I stood up. "But I will not because... I know you don't really trust him."

...

She didn't rebuke my final words, merely staring at me with extreme surprise and dread.

"You have a contract with him. One that can be broken by his part if he ends up being the main cause behind the suffering you and your sister had been put through," I persisted a little more with my dominance of the dialogue. "But you don't have any plans after that. If the news of his death reaches the capital, you and your sister would end up labeled as criminals worth of an execution."

...

"What do you want?" The pinkette finally asked, and I smiled widely.

"To be fair... not much. I just want two things in exchange for you to just accept my kind offer," I mentioned happily. "I want you to smile for your sister's own hard-work, and to accept my simple offer of friendship."

At this point, I was expecting her to press for more. I was being so vague with this answer, so I wanted for her to ask for more.

But I forgot that Ram was still a twitch or two different from the normal inhabitant of this kingdom, and I was stunned by her followup question.

"Why friendship?"

I blinked, shocked by her interest being centered over this very topic.

Humming, I decided to provide her with the truest words about the matter.

"Because I think I can somehow relate to your plight, Ram," I answered genuinely. "The struggle of being the oldest sibling, to try and provide with your best efforts to your younger sister... while also making sure that the pressure and toll aren't visible in your usual appearance."

"You're speaking by experience," The maid pointed out and I nodded.

"While my sister is surely worried that she doesn't know where I am, I'm sure that she is making good steps in becoming the best person," I replied calmly. "And to know that I can see you striving for the save objective... it makes me nostalgic and happy."

She blinked. "Shouldn't you be... sad that she isn't here?"

"Oh, but I am," I admitted without hesitation, glancing at her with a fond look. "I would like to be there, to know how her day is going, and if she needs my help."

...

"But you can't," Ram finally realized. "And when you noticed me-"

"I saw someone dealing with my own troubles. Just... with different ordeals thrown left and right," I added with a nod. "I can relate about family matters, but it would be hypocritical of me if I tried to take your own unique burdens and call mine too."

She huffed, standing up herself and taking a couple of steps towards me. I looked at her and she stared back at me with a bored look.

"Your speech... it wasn't that bad," The pinkette confessed blankly. "But I think I will believe you more if you actually did at least half of what you mentioned. Words are empty without actions filling them with intentions."

I blinked at that, but I found my chances of keeping up with that interesting conversation faltering to nothingness as Ram decided to finally leave the library.

Leaving me to ponder about what kind of impact I had left on her. Hopefully, I didn't push Canon too hard to get a massive alteration so early on.

AN

It might sound odd for those that have followed the series through the Anime that Ram distrust Roswaal and... you're half-right. The sassy pinkette, albeit devoted to the greatest (Aka Michael Jackson da Clown) she still has her own reservations about him. There is a contract between him and her that, if she discovers that he had lied to her about his 'responsibility' to the attack on the Oni Clan, then she is free to do whatever she wants to do with him.

While magic could accept this as a good exchange, the legal procedures wouldn't give much support to the Maid Twins. Which is why Bukharin enters in the room and throw a singular offer to sway them both to at least distance themselves from Roswaal.

And for a moment he became like Dio-Sama!

Omake 9: A Feline Problem (Part 1)

The Royal Castle of Lugnica was considered one of the places that still contained some of the most dangerous artifacts ever created since the sealing of the Witch of Envy.

Some of those were well-contained in known rooms that were forbidden to ever be approached, while some were still unknown to the knowledge of the government itself.

Quite odd to imagine that there were a couple of terrible objects that could either kill people or transform them in vile beasts left around for some stupid fellow to end up finding those.

The real issue would be if said 'fellow' ended up being the Prince of Lugnica himself and... that his target to experiment with the curious object he had found was the one and only person that is currently narrating this tragedy.

The first hint that things were going to be complicated was when I found something burdening the top of my head. I had been distracted by the usual amount of paperwork that was still occupying a large portion of my desk, when a tip-toeing Fourier managed to drop something on me.

I stood up, feeling instantly weird at the strange action, but just as I turned around to address the sudden activity with quite the irritated mindset, I quickly noticed that I wasn't speaking properly.

Rather... I was making a curious noise that I had heard so many times when I was back home.

"Miao Miao Mia- MIAO(1)!"

I clamped my mouth shut with my own hands, ignoring the muffled chuckles erupting from the red-faced young man in front of me.

With my eyes widening in confusion at the feline noise leaving my lips, I reached up for my head and... I felt them.

Two new small appendages had been placed atop it. These felt rather furry, twitching and... sensible.

I shivered in surprise at the odd sensation coming from touching the pair of cat ears now settled on my head.

"I-It's more hilarious than I expected it to be."

I frowned at him, taking a few steps closer to him and almost snarling at him.

"MIAO MIAO MI-MIAO!"

If only he knew the kind of words were reaching out from my mouth. I was furious at the sudden prank, but the message exuding from the single word being repeated was enough to lessen up the effects of my angry state.

"L-Look, it's not that bad. Cat ears are... good on you."

I started to pinch at his cheeks, and it seemed to be enough to get him to relent with this absurd circumstance.

He reached up and... removed the small hair-piece with the magical cat ears on those.

"I found these hanging by dad's room," Fourier started to explain while handing those to me. "And I thought it would've been fun to test these out after Miklotov told me that Nyah nyah... Nyah?"

The blond paused for a moment, confusion swelling in his expression as he realized that the hair-piece was no longer in my hold. Instead, there was just a smug smile spreading on my face as I had successfully returned the favor back at the young man.

"I suppose these ears are good on you too, Fourier," I muttered with blatant eagerness. "In fact, let's test these out."

He looked panicky for a moment, but there was nothing that he could've done to intercept my swift hands. After having handled Ferris for so long, I knew exactly the proper spots to touch to get a reaction out of him.

The prince twitched in clear pleasure at the sudden ear-scratching attack, tensing up as his red eyes widened in a moment of pure bliss.

His shoulders sagged a little bit, indulging more and more in the powerful sensation erupting from this heavy petting and... soon he started to lean more on me. I was amused by this as it happened, but then I noticed that the prince was slowly pushing more of his weight onto me.

I had just the chance of blinking when the unthinkable happened and... I fell backward. There was nothing behind me to leave some damage on me, but I was surprised by the sudden action coming from the dazed blond.

The young man was now on nestling his cheek by my chest, rubbing it affectionately and like a cat as I had continued scratching softly at the back of his cat ears.

A low noise began to vibrate thorough our bodies and I blinked in surprise as I recognized it. "You're... purring?"

The boy didn't answer, and I felt dread rising up as Fourier started to come closer to me and start rubbing his ears by my chin. At this point, the surreal escalation had finally taken away the pure amusement that had existed up until now.

With the prince now pressing his whole weight on me to keep me from leaving, I felt confused as to why I couldn't get to find where the edges of the hair-piece were. maybe it was the suddenness of the situation, or maybe I was really dealing with a magical mishap.

But while I struggled to find a way to end this awkward situation, I froze at the noise of the only door to the room opening as someone entered.

"Johnyah! I brought the slice of cake you asked for and I brought Lady Karsten so that we-"

Ferris paused at the sight presented before him as he vaulted the doorstep. Crusch would enter shortly after and... they would both stare at the scene with a mix of surprise and fascination. An intense amount of fascination at that.

"C-Care to offer some help?"

They didn't. In fact, they even felt more endeared at the opportunity presented by that unexpected fluffy device.