Chapter 7

When I was younger,Yumi taught me to never remove my hair tie in front of a man. It should always be tied or in braids if I would like to be respected. A woman's hair determines her value, she used to say. Funny how a body part alone can define the worth of a person. I used to annoy her and let my shiny long hair fall to my waist and get blown by the wind. She would then put her hand to her chest and scream my name at the top of her lungs. This would bring me so much fun that I would start taunting her by shaking my hair in her face. She would then grab the nearest possible object and try to beat me with it. But I was a fast runner-still is-so she would give up halfway and yell promises to punish me once I get home.

I would then find myself walking around the forest, memorizing every tree and rock. When I would get bored, I'd talk to my mother as if she was just around listening. I'd ask her how it's like being married to my father. And whether it's true that he did save her from drowning. I mean my father could have been exaggerating. Every warrior is bound to embellish stories to make him seem more valiant.

Sometimes, I would come across a wild deer in my walks. We'd play a game of tag and after some time, once the animal realizes that I'm not really a threat,it would resume feeding and ignore me. Then when it gets dark, I'd start heading home.

It's funny though how everytime I arrive from my wanderings, Yumi would never live up to her promise. She'd fawn over me instead, asking my whereabouts and who I was with. I never admitted I was alone. For if I ever did, it would surely reach my father's knowledge. Then that's when the real beating would start. Not that he would literally hit me. He never layed a hand on me unless we were swordfighting. It was more of an hour-long lecture of dos and don'ts. I totally understand though. He already lost my mother. He doesn't want anything to happen to me either. After all, I'm the only one he has left of her.

My mind was caught up in reverie that I didn't hear someone approach. I was startled when a hand grasped my shoulder. I immediately grabbed and twisted it while reaching for my dagger.

"Who are you?", I demanded. "What do you want from me?"

"Will you let go of me first?", Senapati answered, a touch of discomfort in his voice. "This is the second time you've pointed a knife to my throat".

I immediately let go and asked for forgiveness.

"You should've made a sound at least", I retorted. I didn't care that he was the the rightful rajah. He did sneak up on me after all.

"I did call out your name", he informed me. "You were just too engrossed with your thoughts. Must be someone very important".

He was beside me this time, sitting on the ground beneath a palm tree. He looked calm and content. I noticed the fresh set of clothes he was wearing. His hair was still wet too. He must have just finished taking a bath.

I then looked at my deplorable state. My hair was untied and blowing in the midnight breeze. Spirits! I must look a total mess. I haven't even taken a bath yet. I must still smell of the coconut wine I drank earlier. My tunic was partially open as I felt too warm earlier.

Sensing my hesitation, he gave me an old piece of cloth to wrap myself with. He told me to use it to dry after taking a bath.

"I left some hot water for you to wash with", he informed, seemingly proud of himself.

"You shouldn't have", I responded. "I should have been the one to do that".

"Your shoulder isn't fully healed yet", he reminded me. "You must be in pain after today's events".

He wasn't wrong. Now that he mentioned it, I was able to focus on the throbbing scar tissue. How nice of him. Maybe in another life, he would look at me as a woman and love me too. If my father was still around, I would have met him as a general's daughter. And he would be the successor to the rajah. And maybe, if we spent more time together, our fathers would notice how great we are together and plan our marriage. Then he will be the rajah, and I will be his rani.

"Who are you thinking about?", his voice stopped my thoughts.

"What makes you say that?", I challenged. "I could be thinking of things and not people".

"I get that same look when I think of the ones I love".

Wait. Did I hear him right? He didn't say "love", did he? Do I look like I love him? Am I that transparent? Can I not keep any secret from this man? Oh... So I do love him. Seems like I'm the only one who wasn't aware.

I stood up and headed towards the house, ignoring him completely.

"So that's it?", he called out.

"What?", I turned to respond.

"Not even a word of thanks?", he cheekily said.

"Thank you, high and mighty Lakan Senapati", I spoke sarcastically.

Not waiting for him to have the last word, I sprinted the short distance to the outhouse.

"I have someone I dream about too, you know...",he muttered under his breath.

I was too far by then to respond. Or maybe too hurt to formulate a smart reply.

After my refreshingly warm bath, I carefully dried my hair and formed it into a knot. I wouldn't risk the young man seeing me all disheveled again. Once was enough to remove any ounce of dignity. I changed into a newly washed set of clothes and gently tiptoed to my quarters.

I slowly crawled onto my pallet and started to spread my blanket over me when I noticed a silhouette on the floor next to me. I yelped out a scream and a hand quickly covered my mouth.

"Be quiet!", Senapati told me. "It's just me".

"What are you doing here?", I asked. Bewilderment apparent in my voice. Surely there must be a mistake. I can't share a room with this man!

"There are no rooms left", he said. "This is the only one available. If you're not comfortable, you can stay here. I will sleep outside".

I told him it was okay. How can I let the future ruler give up his room and sleep in the kitchen? He's more important than I will ever be, right? What harm could come from sharing a sleeping space with him? We'll only be here for a few hours anyway. It's almost morning after all.

I layed down on my side quietly and he did the same. It felt neat to sleep beneath a roof in a proper house with a proper pallet again. Slowly, I reached the shores of sleep.

***

Five years later...

"How many days has it been?", Diwata inquired behind me.

"I'm sorry", I replied. "I don't get what you're saying".

"Your bleeding. How many days has it been?", she clarified.

"I'm not bleeding", I said. "Why would I? I'm not wounded or injured". I attempted to laugh it off, getting more nervous by the moment.

"I know that you know what I mean". She raised her eyebrow at me. "It's a normal bodily function to bleed when you're not pregnant".

I was dumbfounded this time. She caught me washing my sanitary towels, the ones I use for that time of the month. That must be it. But how was she so sure? I could have gotten injured from my swordfights with Senapati and my nightly excursions with him. Surely she must have seen me bathing? But I always make sure I'm alone whenever I do that. So how?

Finally, I gave up and asked her this. She just knowingly smiled at me and said she had known since day one.

She knew I was my mother's daughter even when I was dressed in men's garb. She delivered me after all.

"One does not simply forget your mother's face", she sighed. I begged her to tell me more and she was about to when the young lakan barged into the doorway.

"Lady Diwata, I need your help", he said.

The elder woman asked what was wrong but I immediately saw the dark red liquid dripping from his left arm.

I quickly grabbed the closest clean cloth I could find and pressed it against his wound.

"What happened?", I inquired.

"It's not a big deal", he shrugged.

"Not a big deal?", I screamed. "You come in here bleeding your life out and you have the audacity to tell me it's no big deal?!" I was furious this time.

"What are you up to? You dare to die now when we haven't even done anything yet to recover the throne?", I continued. "My father is still a traitor and I haven't avenged him yet!"

"I'm sorry", he relented. I was just chopping firewood when the axe...", he paused. "Your father? What do you mean?"

Father? What is he talking about? Wait! Did I just say my father is a traitor? Spirits! What have I done?

"My father. He was declared a traitor for being General Lawin's servant", I lied.

He seemed to accept that and grew quiet. Then in my confusion, he broadly smiled.

"You're worried about me". He was victorious, as if he just regained the throne. As if he was just crowned Rajah.

"Who wouldn't be?", I spat. "If you die, we'd have nothing left to fight for".

"Well you can fight for your father's vengeance", he answered.

"Dead people don't care who dies fighting for them".

Diwata just smiled, cherishing the beauty of the moment.