Chapter 4

The normal introduction, every start of the school year is held on the ground floor, near our open gymnasium held by our school's principal. She greeted everyone who comes back and also to all new students like me, freshmen. At first, my whole attention is on someone whose been talking too long. She's discussing the school's rules and regulations. It turned out somebody unexpectedly run off to our line. Specifically after me. That begun my focus is out of control. His scent automatically gives me shivers. I don't know what he's been thinking about or what he is doing. My eyes are not on stage anymore. I guess. He is not aware of his actions or maybe he's just pretending to. But I guess he is not either of the two because he still keeps on talking with another guy. I don't even know neither why the school's staff are going rounds but is not even noticing him on the girl's lane.

Damn! What is he doing here?. Is he not afraid of special mention or worst of that? Ugh, Jaden!. Can you be so extra careful for me, please?..

Oh hell! What am I thinking? So assuming of me.

After a while.

"Gosh! I'm feeling thirsty.." Joyce complains like she is the speaker back there. And take note. She is now sipping on her bottle of water while sitting on her chosen seat inside our new room. We just got in after everyone was called their names by the teacher who's assigned to us. And here I am too. Trying to fan me just to feel relax because the air around us is not even enough for me. Even if there's a ceiling fan rotating on top of us. Still not sufficient. Winly too is with me. Looking or I should say staring at every boy's face in the room who is he's type, good looking.

"You hit it. I've wanted to sit down before but I don't have any guts to do so.." I said while looking at the four corners of the ceiling, down through the walls, and damn! I stopped where exactly he sat. Now. The pressure I felt earlier became burning flames. I feel like I'm dying because of his hot presence. Gosh!

Our eyes didn't even meet but the pressure in me is so high. I don't know why.

"Oh, girl! That's too obvious if you didn't know. Haha.." Joyce tapped my right shoulder. She even laughs a bit. "You thought no one saw who's the last man standing on the girl's line huh?. Tsk. Tsk!.." she added. She just whispered this and I feel like I have this feeling that she already announced it to the public but in fact, she's not. Not everyone knows who's she referring to but she remains as what she is. A secret is a secret. No one should know that except us three. Winly played his brows after his eyes stuck on me. He's teasing me, like saying. Girl, I saw that too.

Geez! Oh well! When it comes to them I can't even keep a secret. I actually can but when they do some triggering moves, pushing me to open up about a secret. There's no other way to run from them. So I don't have any choice but to tell them the truth. That's sucks but yeah. That's their way of loving me. They said.

After a minute. Our teacher has arrived. She is a bit chubby. I guess she's in middle age. 5'11 of heights and I wish that she's that kind. She introduced herself but honestly. I didn't hear it coz I'm busy stealing a look at him. When he bit his lips. Blink his damn big eyes. Damn! I want to bite it and stare at it for long. Yah! Wake up, Bamby! Wake up! Stop daydreaming!

The normal routine of every school is every first day.

Self-introduction!

"Hi. I'm Ryan Cruz.. 14 years of age.." He began. I noticed that he got a little taller and a little white. That's what he says. He bowed down after and run back off to his seat.

It goes on.

"Good morning. Winly Castillo here.." he waved to everyone then slowly flipping his damn invisible hair. So him! What a boy!?

I am shaking. My turn is fast approaching.

As Winly wink at everyone. He is now back at where he sat.

"Hi, classmates. I'm Bamby Eugenio. 13 turnings 14. Bam for short.." my heart is pounding so hard while standing in front of them especially in front of Jaden. I'm thankful that I didn't stutter. I might lose my balance or suddenly pass out.

Every breath I take is as hot as the weather outside. I want to drink a glass of water but I don't have any right now.

When I reached my chair. My breathing became shorter. It takes time after it becomes normal.

"Hello, my name is Jean Santa.."

"Hello everyone. My name is James Dumlao. Just call me JD.."

It continues until his turn.

"Excuse me ma'am Perez. I'm sorry to interrupt you.." suddenly another teacher came. Our adviser approaches her. They talk for a minute in a low tone. Then our adviser nodded at her and make her way in.

"May I call Jaden Bautista. Your room is on the other side.." she said. I was really surprised!. What!? How come!?. I ask this to myself silently without thinking anything. I don't want him to let go. Honestly. But I don't understand why there's this part of me that is sad and at the same time relief. My heart suddenly becomes sad because we're not together in the same class. I'm in between happy and awful to say this because I can now finally move like I used to be. I've felt relief also coz I can be myself every day. I am into him, yes. But still. A part of me is still not used to the thoughts that we can be together soon. I'm still embarrassed.

"Thank you, Ma'am.." the other teacher make a way out now.

I want to speak. Contrary to what he's doing right now. But damn lips. I can't open it just like what I'm doing when arguing with my brothers. I do want to do that but I don't have enough strength to at least look at him while heading way out. My heart is torn between letting him go and not to.

He finally stood up and grabbed his bag.

"Bye.." I feel like his goodbye is meant for me but I know it's not. Who am I to him?. I am nothing so why do I feel like he's on me?. Errr! Jaden!! He made a fist bump first to his friends namely, Bryle, Paul, and Billy then finally went out.

I left out a deep sigh.

"Don't be sad. He's just on the other side so we can still visit him if you want." Joyce enlighten me. Maybe she has a point. I can visit him there soon. And why would I worry like this?. We are still in the same school. Same building and same subjects. Why worry now Bamby?. You can still hide your true feelings for him. You can still love him secretly so why the worries?

"You know. That would be better so that he can't figure you out yet. Hahahaha.." there. Winly hitting what I've wanted to say. Again he has a point too.

I guess that's how life goes on. First, you can love someone but you can't have it yet. Second, you can be with someone but you cannot love him.

Choices are getting harder.

But my choice, for now, is on the first thought. I choose to love him from afar even if I don't have him yet. From there. I can still find myself. Know me before entering a relationship with him, soon.