19–Friendly

Deep and slightly murkier tones of brown left the whole place seeming slightly bit too close and intimate as if the roof was breathing down upon them, at least to Fern's eyes, and the tables far too friendly’ with each other as he felt more distance was probably worth a thought, or two, and just about far too dim with the choking smell of beer and grease. The slightly dungeon-like pub had been Casper's picking for their date and according to his best friend, who, presently, was sitting right across him enjoying some American-styled chips, the set-up was far more casual than that of a fancy restaurant. And Fern had tried to argue against it but hadn't met any success–that round had been his friend's to conquer.

Fern had his hand rested against Theo's thigh as she laughed at something Jade said and a smile climbed upon his face, slightly, as he watched everyone on the table as they lost themselves in the conversation.

For just that brief second, under the dim lights, and a heavy smell of beer, he felt his heart sort of clench at the sight of his wife–and drowned in what-ifs ifs. He found himself quiet, falling out of the conversation as he caught himself frowning, watching as Theo rolled her pretty eyes. What if? What if she had left him? What if this was just that brief happy moment before everything fell apart? The quiet before the storm? Fern lowered his eyes as he offered the table a slight laugh, though he didn't know what was funny or if he was laughing just to shrug the lonely pangs attempting to weave themselves deep into his heart–he just did it. Laughing set things at ease and was easier than crying, even easier to get away with. Crying was uncomfortable and begged for far too many questions–and so much worry. Therefore it wasn't necessary here or anywhere else for that matter, or at least Fern felt, quite strongly, and he made sure to keep them at bay as his heart clenched and his parched throat stiffened.

Fern couldn't do that to himself or everyone else.

Fern rather chose to go ahead and find Theo's hand under the table and clasp his over it–he felt better that way. At least this way he was sure. Fern was sure Theo was there, not just a dream or some illusion that would soon evaporate and leave him facing the raw truth. There was the counseling ordeal and his dislike of it and the possibility of everything falling apart and Theo leaving him–he was on thin ice. He couldn't afford to not pull up his socks and Theo didn't have to say anything about it–she was going to leave him this time.

The twinkling dim light gave room for her face to glow beneath darker hues of gold that enriched her skin and left it a tone warmer. Fern's eyes ate, greedily, what was before them and everything about the sight, distracted from the conversation around the table–lost in the wonder that was Theo.

Her dreadlocks curled with slightly deep tints of gold fell delicately around her face, and the rest tied on top of her head, as she turned his way, eyes bright and embellished with a warmth which had been missing from them for a while. “He did.”

“What?” Fern's eyes darted around the table as all eyes were on him. “Is there something I missed? You're all just staring into my soul.”

Casper was the first one to throw in a word. “How come I've never heard of this? Aren't we best friends? No secrets? What happened. . .there?”

Fern was still slightly frowning. “Tell you what?”

“Where the hell's your bloody head?” Jade smiled. Sat across them and adorned with deep dimples and liquid blue eyes Jade laughed further at the sight of Fern's face–he was obvious of what he hadn't heard.

Fern wrinkled his nose, slightly, reaching for his glass of water. “I kinda thought I'd slide in and pretend I heard everything.”

“Yeah? You're not good.” Casper rolled his eyes.

“Blame Theo,” Fern mumbled, adjusting his seat as he rolled his eyes to the back of his head, practically. His eyes lit up as he set his plate of untouched American-styled potato chips, or better yet fries, aside and turned to the table, returning to the conversation he had missed. “So, what were you three on about? I admit my flaws and beg for forgiveness too.”

“Apology accepted.” Theo rested her hand against his lap as she looked up at him with eyes beaming with amusement–his heart beating just a tad bit too fast too.

“You'd say that you're a softie.”

Fern let out a free chuckle. “That I'm happily married to. Thank you very much, Cas.”

“We had fun saying whatever while you hopped around in your head,” Casper said.

“Like what?” Fern's fingers dove into his hair as he combed it back to no success–it bounced right back to place, easily.

Jade welcomed where the direction in which the conversation had returned to, gladly. “Theo says you friend-zoned her hard when you were first getting to know each other.”

“I did not.” Fern turned to his plate of ‘fries’.

Theo snorted. “You didn't even play around.”

“You were bloody merciless at that time, you even–”

“But you ended up getting married, didn't you?” Jade interjected as she offered, with a sweet smile, to ease everyone away from the conversation–Fern found himself frowning. Disappointed at himself as he tried as hard as he could offer a smile himself, trying, by all means, to melt whatever expression that had possibly smeared against his face and although he did, and even loosened his shoulder, a gesture he was hoping portrayed that he wasn't uncomfortable, he still found it couldn't be saved–they had hit a nerve, and were guilty, and it had shown openly on his face. There was nothing Fern hated more than a situation such as this one. He hated the pity he would be met with as soon as he lifted his head again and caught their eyes.

He had no other choice, he resented the silence–he lifted his head. “By the way, I was crushing on Theo hard and...I wasn't exactly sure I was boyfriend material at the time. Sorry.”

“Bit of a bad boy then?” Jade laughed it off and the comfortable ease that had been around the table refused to return safely, but Fern could at least give Jade for trying to keep everything so light despite how suddenly uncomfortably stiff it was–everyone was suddenly not as free.

Feen did his best to not make his guilt so obvious. Fern truly tried. “More of a loner than anything.”

“Uh...and where the bloody hell was I? Talk about a true friend.” Casper joined in.

Fern's eyebrow lifted. “Technically, that doesn't count.”

“What? Me as your only friend, Timone?” Casper playfully wiggled his eyebrows as he threw his all into saving the conversation before it could get to below freezing. Fern hated how things got like that to him and how easy it was for him to make everyone uncomfortable–how easy it was for him to ruin things. And truly, deep down his clenching heart, he was sure this was the reason Casper was still his only friend. Even though he often waited for the other shoe to drop he never said anything or attempted to push Casper away, something that would've proven quite difficult to accomplish given everything, Fern just pathetically waited for the day when he would end up by himself, one of his biggest fears coming true–when both Theo and Casper would no longer be there.

When he would have no one.

Fern let out a sigh. “Your Timone and Pumba references are...very awkward. Stop it.”

“I thought the whole The Lion King quoting thing was just a phase?” Jade leaned towards Casper as she tugged at his ear, playfully.

Fern snorted. “Disney Animation fan you've got there, Jade.”

“Because I'm a grown-up I can't–”

“Yes.”

“You didn't even hear what I was going to say!” Casper complained letting out a slightly deep chuckle as his eyes held an easy light which Fern had always admired and had always known his jet eyes could never have–it had died like his innocence had with his childhood.

Fern rolled his eyes, trying to keep the fog of sadness away from them. “I already know it.”

“You know it? This is not what you–”

He interjected shortly. “You always end up saying that.”

“I–”

“You two bicker like an old married couple.”

The laughter quieted down as whatever had fallen upon them for that moment evaporated and they all turned to the slightly ragged voice that had just graced their tables–only when Fern noticed the familiar face and piercing eyes did he attempt to be at ease. “Simon.”

It wasn't that the slightly older man wasn't mean to be there and it wasn't that the pub lacked popularity, but Fern felt a bit surprised to see the man there. He looked out of place just like them, almost, and hence why he had instructed Casper to get them a place where he wouldn't have to smile to one of his colleagues or be extra polite and go up to their table.

Work was work and his personal life was his.

Simon smiled a dimpled smile. “I didn't mean to interrupt and I wasn't even going to come and greet. I didn't want to be rude.”

Fern followed Simon who was staring right through Theo's soul. “You're not.”

Casper stepped in. “This Is Simon. He's a senior journalist and helped us get this story.”

Fern watched as Theo failed to keep a steady fort and faltered at meeting Simon's demanding eyes. And Fern figured he had gotten that heaviness to his stare from the job and experience, admirably, and according to Fern, it was one of those things he hoped to gain, perhaps even as a person in general.

He sort of admired that about Simon, though too friendly, he sort of forgave it and found himself being the only more ‘polite’ and ‘social’. “I'd have never pictured you in a place like this.”

“I come here often and–”

Theo interrupted with the clearing of her throat and a hand that almost cut into the air as she offered her hand towards him. “I'm Theo.”

“The wife? Nice to meet–”

“And I'm Jade.” The almost honey blonded and petite young woman followed with hers even as he wasn't done with Theo's.

“Date?” Simon wasn't easily offended as he shook Jade's hand. “I'm interrupting.”

Fern found himself a bit embarrassed as the man was quite calm despite how Theo was being–staring and interjecting so rudely. What was wrong? Why was everyone so indifferent towards him? Casper was very sensitive to outsiders and Jade was just trying to help, trying to save it. Theo, he didn't understand. Was she upset? Was it the friend-zoning conversation? Had they ripped through old wounds? He didn't know.

Simon offered them another dimpled smile. “I better go and it was nice to meet you...Theo.”

Fern's lips slightly hung in confusion as he watched Theo simply nod. “You too.”

With how Theo sat and looked at the man it made him smile a bit more than usual just to be nice. “See you. . .around.”

Theo could only breathe as soon as the man had left. “I don't like him.”