C H A P T E R - I X

The days passed by in a blur and soon it was Monday as I get ready for the first day of my senior year. I haven't felt this happy and laughed so much in years. It felt nice and lovely. I never wanted this feeling to go away, I wanted it to remain in my heart forever.

Elijah was, yet again, not here when I woke up. His side of the bed was empty when I woke up so I assume he went to where he went the night I woke up. My mood faltered slightly but I didn't let it ruin the mood entirely so I put on a strong big girl facade ignoring how I was crippling inside.

I pouted as I tightened the belt around my waist all the way to keep it from falling but it still did nonetheless. The school didn't provide girls' uniforms because it was a boy's school duh. So I had to wear the boy's one but I was thankful for it. I'd hate to be the odd one out at least this way, it'd help me mix up with them.

But the problem was, that even their smallest size was big for me it was way too big. The shirt drowned me, and the extremely long sleeves kept me from functioning properly, I couldn't roll the sleeves up because it looked very messy and I didn't do it properly either. So where was I?

Yeah, the pants. The pants pooled around my ankles so I rolled it up as best as I could and it looked..ok. But it kept falling from my waist and the belt didn't help either. Oooh, should I just tie it like a knot? Who's seeing anyways?

So I did and hid it with my shirt not tucking it in, just letting it hang loosely. I cringed hard when I looked at the mirror, gosh, I looked so terrible and like a middle grader. I was literally drowning in the uniform.

Should I cut it? Omg no, I'd probably ruin it. Um not probably, I'd ruin it for sure.

Quickly making a fishtail, I grabbed my tie but was interrupted by a loud knock on the door 4 times. It's probably Nate or Elijah. We developed a code so that it'd be easier for me to know who's knocking, it could be anyone so I came up with this brilliant idea.

Opening the door with a wide excited grin on my face, I was immediately engulfed in a hug by Nate and I smiled hugging him back.

"Oh my- my baby is starting her first day" He dramatically cried wiping a fake tear and held me by my shoulders scanning me up and down before squealing.

"Aren't you the cutest adorable little thing?" He teased me in a baby voice pulling my cheeks while I turned red and slapped his shoulder making him scowl.

"For a tiny little human being, you surely hit hard" Nate rubbed his shoulder giving me a stinky eye while I poked my tongue at him. A dramatic piece of underwear.

"I look bad" I complained to him with a pout but he cooed at me making me feel more like a child than I already did. Ugh, I need to grow up. Fast. As soon as possible. Please God, bless my life with maturity, and a brain. And some confidence as well...and please give the person who makes our food here a recipe book. I'm tired of eating Pasta. Daily and non-stop.

"Darling, you look like a burrito," Nate said like it was supposed to be a compliment and I gave him a blank dry look.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?" I asked putting my hands on my hips tapping my foot as I stare him down with my "frightening" gaze.

Ha, stare him down, more like I break my neck staring up at him because he's just so dang tall.

He scoffed then laughed, "Lara bear, is that supposed to be a glare" I groaned throwing my tie at him while he laughed his flat non-existent butt off.

I realized the absence of a certain someone and my eyes widen, "Nate?" I pulled the sleeve of his shirt trying to gather his attention which was on his phone.

He hummed, "Where is Elijah?" Nate chuckled nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh, here Lara bear, lemme do your tie for you" He quickly said before I could interrupt and begin to do my tie. This sneaky little bit- wet dirty rotten sock.

"Don't change the topic, answer me" I demanded him while he narrowed his eyes down at me.

"It's funny how you think you look intimidating when in reality you look exactly like a kitten trying to be a lion" I gasped loudly at him grabbing the pillow from my bed hitting him in the face.

"I do look angry!" I said angrily glaring at him while he shook his head laughing at me. So I hit him again, with the pillow of course.

"Ow! What's up with your violent tendencies" Nate said rubbing his neck where the pillow hit him, giving me an annoyed and I immediately quiet down, my breath hitched, my laughter dead and my face was no longer reflecting happiness and my head replaying all the memories. Violent tendencies.

Was I....was I becoming like my mother? My mother used to have violent tendencies that turned into full-blown abuse. And I was becoming like her! Like mother like daughter. It was inevitable that I turned like her. After all, she did brought me up and I grew up learning her ways. I don't want to become like her! I don't! I can't! I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't. No one would go through what I did especially from my hands. I can't. I can't. I don't want to. But I was.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled in a shaky voice, my eyes wet with tears as I tried blinking them away and my head a record of unpleasant memories.

Leave me to have a breakdown on the first day of school and that too on a stupid word. He didn't know. He didn't know.

Nate immediately frowned, his face apologetic as he looked at me with worry and concern.

'You attention-seeking bitch!' My mother's voice rang in my mind and tried hard to focus on Nate, my mother wasn't here now. I was safe. I was safe and I wasn't going to become like her. Absolutely not, I'd make sure of it.

I wouldn't become like my mother.