Episode Twenty One - Painful Revelation (Part 2)

Tormented hazel eyes wouldn't leave her no matter how hard she tried to ignore them. Eira wondered why he was so sad when she couldn't remember him. Were they good friends? Lovers? But he would have said something, wouldn't he? She only recalled how devastated he looked before he turned and left. That had been days ago. She did ask to see him but Florian and Anaelle had said the Captain was indisposed.

Yes, she was informed that he was their unit's Captain – Lars Verhelst. If he was so important, how could she forget him? That was a question she couldn't answer herself. In fact, the doctor wasn't of much help though he did provide her an insight to her predicament.

"Often times when a person loses a part of their memory, it could be because they don't want to remember something that was perhaps too emotionally and mentally taxing. This usually explains why a person chooses to forget the ordeal to protect themselves." The doctor kindly explained. "It's our brain's protective mechanism against perceived harm. If I may be so bold, maybe something happened between the Captain and you."

A frown notched her brows. Eira didn't feel any bad vibes from the Captain, in fact the more she thought about him, the warmer she became. There was even a fair amount of physical attraction. Her cheeks heated. Clearly, that wasn't the reason why she chose to forget him.

Some things didn't add up to the information she had collected. If the Captain had hurt her, then it didn't explain why he was being so invested in her wellbeing. Was he driven by guilt?

Florian had related how the Captain had stayed by her side for days, praying fervently for her recovery. It was only the day she awoken did he finally leave her side to eat and sleep. His actions spoke of deeper emotions, his care extending beyond his responsibility as a Captain. She could bet her life on it.

Eira decided the fastest way to get her answers would be to ask Lars himself. He could probably explain their relationship better than the others because whenever she tried to pry, everyone refused to say a word.

Her thoughts scattered when the door to her ward slid open. Her throat tightened and her heart skipped a beat. Eira had to forcefully lock her jaws to stop gaping at the clean-shaven and sleek man entering the room. She recognized him as the Captain but, the change was…startling. The raw, savage strength he emitted was amplified by his grooming, and she admitted he was a man made to be admired.

His clean scent tickled her nose, and she breathed him in. Eira stared as he approached, his face impassive but the tension in his large frame betrayed his agitation. He should have intimidated her with his dark look, the bisecting scar and overwhelming stature but, for some reason, she knew him – believed he wouldn't hurt her.

In the physical sense, her conscience whispered. How strange for those words to float in the recess of her mind. But the Captain looked completely vulnerable now. He resembled a child on the verge of being reprimanded.

A tiny laugh escaped her.

Lars regarded her questioningly, his shoulders relaxing. "Is there a problem?"

She went motionless. Lightning flickered in the pit of her stomach at the rumbling sound of his voice – husky, gruff and utterly masculine. Eira realized she had been rudely staring, quickly clearing her throat. Her words were playful at best. "You look as if I'd eat you up if you came any closer, Captain. Don't worry, I won't bite, unless you want me to." His grave expression made her want to tease him more.

Eira wondered if she had offended him when he stood statue stiff. "A-Are you alright, Captain?"

Lars snapped out of it, a light chuckle from him. It was a welcoming sound in the awkwardness. "I'm glad that you're well recovered enough to tease." He dragged the chair to her bedside and sat down. Concerned, brown eyes skated over her. "How is your injury?"

"The doctor says I'm healing nicely. They injected me with an extra dose of serum to speed up the process."

He nodded, his gaze mapping every inch of her face. So familiar, yet now completely different. "Anaelle said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes. I noticed you were…upset that day I asked who you were. I should have recognized you but strangely, I have forgotten." She lifted a hand — palm up — gesturing for his. Reluctantly, Lars enfolded her smaller one in his. Her eyes closed instinctively, savouring the simple touch of human connection.

"I remember this warmth," she confessed, holding him prisoner with anguished eyes. It pained him to see her sadness, one that she shouldn't even bear. Had he hurt her so badly that she chose to forget him? "I am sorry if I hurt your feelings," she said haltingly. "I may not remember you but, I do remember a certain…fondness. Were we lovers?"

Again, the same uncomfortable expression fleeted over his face. "No," he answered softly. "We were never lovers."

Her forehead puckered in disbelief. "I don't understand. Then, why do you look like you're in pain whenever you see me? I know you were avoiding me for the entire week." She huffed crossly. "Please tell me the truth. What were we to each other?"

Lars couldn't believe she was subjecting him to this. It was a different kind of torment…but she deserved to know the truth. Yet, a part of him wondered if it was better this way, for her to forget his betrayal.

Taking a deep breath, he summarized everything about their relationship from the first day she joined the unit until the Ataxia Intra-Unit Battle. Of course, he conveniently left out the crucial snippets where she caught him with Kalina. He also explained that the fallen rig had been a deliberate attempt of assassination. It was still under investigation.

Her fingers flew to her lips. "Oh my. That sounds terrible. I hope no one else was hurt."

Lars didn't know whether to laugh or to be worried about her selflessness. It was a wonderful trait – a one in a million – but he didn't want her constantly endangering her life for every stranger she encountered. His heart wouldn't be able to take it. "You saved Kalina's life. No one else was hurt. I promise."

Her shoulders sagged in relief. Realizing their hands were still clasped, she squeezed firmly. "I'll get my memory back. I want to."

"Don't strain yourself," he cautioned soundly.

She disinclined her head. "I want to remember everything I knew about you. For whatever reason, I know you're important to me. I don't want to forget." Eira was adamant and he couldn't change her mind.

Lars sighed, knowing her stubbornness rivalled his own. "Alright, but the moment you feel pain or discomfort, you'll let us know? I don't want you pushing yourself too hard."

Her beautiful smile lit up her features, stealing Lars's breath away. "I promise." Eira's happiness slipped when she noticed he wasn't smiling. She touched his other hand; the gentleness of her touch crumbled his resistance. "What's wrong?"

Lars shifted forward; his facial muscles tensed with seriousness. "Can I…hug you?"

It was a simple question. One that held a wealth of meaning. She wouldn't have said no even if her life depended on it. She felt his need to touch her – hold her. A definite nod. "Yes, I don't mind."

Eira's eyes rounded when the Captain abruptly pulled her into his arms, engulfing her with his scent and warmth. The way he held her – desperate and firm – made her heart ache in ways she couldn't understand. But she couldn't deny that it felt good to be held by him. Relaxing into his strength, she tried to wrap her arms around his wide back, offering comfort.

"I'm just glad that you're alive and well," he murmured into her hair.

Eira's smile was laced with sadness. Even though they weren't lovers, it was obvious they had a profound connection – an emotional one. This man was more than a Captain to her, that was a fact. She caressed the soft bristles of his hair in a patting motion, enjoying the act. "Me too."