Daddy of Doom

I wake up feeling great, but soon start feeling not great, because this giant black man is staring at me while wearing a black leather outfit with a black whip. He says "I am the Daddy of Doom, but you can call me Double D." His voice deep, he speaks like a gangster which causes many problems among Black people. (I am black so don't worry, pls don't git mad if I say something wrong, just tell me about it.)

I say "Why are you the Daddy of Doom?"

Double D says "You watch Final Destination?"

I shake my head and he says "Unlucky you, that's practically my jam, basically, I cause everybody an accidental death. I was here to inform you… You. Are. Next."

I shiver and he starts laughing, DD says "You should've seen the look on your face! It was amazing, nearly as good as getting your organs sucked out your anus."

I look at him in horror, he turns to face me with a serious look, he says "Someone sentenced your harem to death."

I jump up with seething rage and say "Who?!"

DD says "Calm down, you got an hour to get there, good luck."

Double D disappears and a portal to the house I was staying at opens. I rush forward and a lightning bolt strikes towards it. I use Devil Waltz to get over there and I use Hero Blade to deflect it. (He uses the spear BTW, he is still wearing NH and HB.)

I teleport into the house, a strange power filling me, I take one nano second to check my current stats…

'Name, None

Unable to display any data, system shutting down.'

I mutter "Weird."

I check every room and find no one around, I see a note on the kitchen table. It read "I am glad you found this note, Janus. I have taken your sex friends to the Abyss, we are nearing Oblivion, good luck catching me."

Another note falls from the sky, "No being can enter Oblivion without my permission, however, he found a loophole. This is my gift to you."

A grab the glowing ring and NH removes the middle finger armor on my left hand. I put it on and NH covers it. I feel a rush of power and decide to try and check my stats again…

'Name, Janus

Status, Descendant of Rage

Str There is no such existing number

Agi No such number

Dex no such number

Int no such number'

This is… interesting…

I rip open a portal and appear at the breach to Oblivion. I look at a man wearing a… Ski Mask?!?!

Words appear above his head saying "God boosted". I wave my hand and he gets "Deleted".

All the girl look at me in shock as a man wearing all black, wears and eye patch, is bald, and is stroking a cat. Words appear over his head "Those who cannot break their seals shall become obsolete."

With a flick of my finger, the words "Deleted" appear.

A man wear a bat costume tosses a bat shaped boomerang at me, I say "Fus Ro." Gently…

"Deleted."

A man in spandex shouts "BATMAN!"

Soon, "Deleted".

A man in a white robe with a golden sash reading "Author." walks out and begins clapping, he says "I did not expect this development, this only happened because I was forced to watch not very scary movies, they were so bloody, that I learned something about anatomy."

I send a punch towards him, but he waves his hand and says "Don't even try, I created you."

The Grim appears and says "What about me?"

Author clears his throat and says "I am you, but I decided to let you be once you got Jonah."

A voice from above screams "PLOT TWIST!"

The Author shouts "GO TO HECK, YOU STINKER!"

My eye starts twitching at his inability to use swear words. Author looks at me as if I wronged him and says "I am not a fan of swear words, but I usually don't use them because everyone above 60 on my mother's side abstains from swearing, except her mother."

He suddenly appears before me and bows, he says "Teach me, sensai!"

I say "Teach you what?"

Author says "Pickup artistry."

I stare at him with arrogance and say "What makes you think I will give you dating advice?"

His voice suddenly becomes loud, shaking space and cracking the dimension "Because I said so!"

I say "I usually get myself out there, learn something about good date spots, good places to ask a girl out at."

Author stares at me and shouts "BASTARD! I SLAY YOU."

I say "What?"

He says "Lets dance!"

He waves his hand and a disco floor appears, he gains a rainbow afro, high platform shoes, and a baby blue jumpsuit that shows off his hairy chest. He also gains a mustache, he says "Disco first, baby." He turns on a song and begins dancing like a disco god, The Grim suddenly says "Heavy Metal."

A giant stage appears and he walks up on it with many chains, black leather, and makeup, he grabs the microphone and screams "ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!!!!"

The Grim scream like a school girl "YESSSS!!!"

A bunch of demons appear on stage with a bunch of band equipment, he mouths to them "Git ready boys", they nod and the drummer starts a fast beat, around 160. Author starts hitting a low power chord and the bass guy starts playing like he is using an electric guitar. He throws the Bass guitar in the air and the Author starts to play, the drummer speeds up madly, tripling the beat, the Author stares hatefully at him and starts to play at god speed. (Imagine the most epic, most crowd shaking solo you've ever heard and increase the speed by 2 times. I am imagining the solo for Through the Fire and the Flames.)

Everything goes dark just as the band stops playing, I find myself curled up in a ball, with the most tired yawn escapes my mouth. I close my eyes and fall asleep instantly, but awaken at the smell of blood. Double D appears and says "Now you are truly next, the Author is not liking your performance." He holds up a page that held everyones name: Angelina, Terra, Aurora, Mocha, Rose, Serephina, Nore, Queora, Violet, Sunny, Luna, Azul, and Cecilia. All their names crossed out, I ask "Why isn't the Grim on there?"

He sighs and says "The Grim is absolute, that's why she held sway over the Author."

I nod my head in understanding and I feel something break inside me, a voice booms "The list is now revoked!"

Double D nods and says "Looks like my time is up." He hands me a bunch of disks, he says "If you don't watch every one of those I. Will. Slay. You."

I nod my head quickly and he disappears, I push one of the disks into the disk player and begin watching "IT" Whatever IT is…

(I just traumatized Janus, I believe it is time for some naughty stuff to happen in the next chapter, till then!

Da Grim)