Under The Rug

Have you ever had a rat problem? A local Detroit native Jim Smith was having a rat problem. Jim lived in a one story house that was quite musty and old. Jim lived right beside a Jim's Cheese, LLC. warehouse and lots of rats lived there. Little did Jim suspect that he would become a massive rats next victim.

It all started when the warehouse next door started to have some cheese go missing and then they found a mutated raccoon body with rat hair all around it.

Then Jim Smith came home one night and a big two foot long rat running around his house but he ain't no wimp. So he got out his Jericho 9mm and started to fire shots off at the rat but he hardly grazed it's back and ran out the door.

Jim Smith was so confused that his epic COD skills didn't work in real life and how a rat could be the size of a small dog. He told all his friends about it and they thought he was a really bad shot and he should beat it to death next time. So Jim went to IKEA and bought a wooden chair to kill the rat with.

Two weeks passed and it happened again but Jim had been ready. When the rat walked up to the fridge Jim Smith smashed the chair down right on its back with a crack. The force broke the rat's front legs instantly. Another crack and the rest of its legs were gone. Once the rat was immobilized Jim stomped on its head killing it.

After a day Jim Smith didn't want the meat to go to waste so he made two meats and rat tail rope. On the blackmarket Jim sold the rope for $348.36 and the meat pies were pretty good.

The moral of the story is that rats are good money makers.