PRETEND

Chapter 3

Omar

I think by now we've established that I am a man of very few words... a man who's always overthinking.

"What are your plans today?" my father asked, walking into my room. "Omar?" he repeated, handing me my keys.

We lived in a penthouse, all his doing. My mother passed away when I was younger, so he was all I had. He served as my role model, my friend, and most importantly, helped me face many obstacles. But what he didn't understand was that I wasn't willing to go back to taekwondo, no matter how much it meant to him or my mother... especially after realizing that it was the cause of many of the trials in our lives.

"I have a new student to attend to these days. I'm just packing my gi."

"Can we talk about something?" he said, stepping closer.

"If this is about the upcoming nationals in taekwondo, then we can't. I left the sport long ago... why do you still have to bring it up?" I said, furiously zipping up my bag.

"I thought this kickboxing thing was just a phase, that you'd come back to your senses. You'll gain much more in taekwondo!"

"Dad... please just drop it. It doesn't matter anymore."

"It does and it always will... but it's your choice. Sorry for raising my voice. I just hoped that at least you, of all your siblings, would carry our legacy. You were such a bright boy..."

"I'll be late... see you after dinner."

"You're eating out again?"

"I have to prepare for the black belt gradings as well. Don't wait up," I said, leaving.

Fighting with my father is tough, especially since he's such a sincere man. Hurting him is never my intention.

At the dojo, I quickly changed and went over to Zakira's office.

"She's waiting for you in the spare training room. She's the one I was telling you about," Zakira said, pointing towards her.

"Noted," I replied, leaving the office. It was the biggest surprise ever.

You know that childhood crush you admire while going to school, who eventually becomes the reason you enjoy school? I never thought I would see her after so many years.

She turned towards me, and my mind was already set on one thing. Love at first glance. I questioned if I were going insane, but the entire room lit up immediately as she approached me. I had always admired her and tried my best to be near her before she moved away. I bet she doesn't remember anything, though. We are all supposed to grow out of our puppy love phase, but for someone who has never gone searching for love, I think we can all say that my destined lover has finally arrived.

Class after class, it never got easier. Trying to talk to her normally, not make my feelings too obvious, and trying not to lash out at her like I usually do with other students.

Unfortunately, there was a rule: don't mix pleasure with business, and men and women should never interact unless necessary. So eventually, I took up the role of the overbearing sensei who always looked upset and frustrated. The one who said very little and only listened. Then, for some reason, that led to continuous quarreling...

Looks like it's going to be a very interesting journey.

"You're awfully close to me these days. What happened to all the 'I'm busy's and 'maybe some other time'?" Owais asked, tossing the equipment to me as I packed it.

"Do you not want me here then?" I replied, attempting to leave.

"Leave? What? No, don't be so petty... I was just asking you a simple question. Anyway, how's your junior class doing?"

"All is well..."

"And Elizah?" he said, smirking.

"Don't start, please. I should be asking you these questions. When do you finally get to have your own class?"

"I'm not sure. I told Zakira I don't mind being her junior for a little longer, though. After all, I'm still not ready to confess..."

"You're a bit open about yourself towards someone who you hardly know."

"The more people know, the better. Besides... I know I can trust you, and by the looks of it, you'll be head over heels for my bestie Elizah soon."

"What makes you think that?"

"Your socializing," he said, patting my shoulder before leaving the class.

Now I know why Elizah is always yelling at him. He is annoying. I hope I don't end up like him, though, in a situationship (confused relationship).

Later that day, I joined a few of my old buddies for lunch. They wanted to have a cheat day before going on a strict diet again, which is very essential before large competitions.

"This is the first time you've accepted my invitation since you left taekwondo," he said, taking his seat next to me.

An old comrade that hardly socialized with me in the past was suddenly questioning me.

"You're my childhood friend. I would never ditch you on purpose," I replied with a fake smile.

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear any of that. So, are you still not coming back?" he asked, looking away.

My father probably sent them...

"I don't understand why I have to always explain this phenomenon every single time. I'm not coming back, ever..."

"I was just asking... we all miss you terribly."

"I have to get ready for work. We'll meet up some other time."

"Sure," he replied, waving towards me.

That will be my last lunch with them...

I worked a few part-time jobs while I'm away from the dojo. I don't like spending money I don't make, especially since I'm an adult now. A lot of people find my thinking old-fashioned, but I just think that a wiser man is one who does something for himself rather than depending on others to do it for him. Luckily, my grandfather has always been around to pass on his wisdom...

Drawing back to Elizah, I wouldn't say that I wanted to pursue her. For now, at least, her company is all I really wanted. Even if it meant pretending. I even stopped going to that pond since our 'friendly' encounter the other day... that place will always hold a special place in my heart. It was where I usually went to lament over my mother's passing.

"You're home late again?" my father asked, switching the lights on.

"I had to work. The restaurant was busy today."

"If you did taekwondo, you would be earning enough to make a living."

"I hear that every day. I'm emotionally tired of those words now... please let it go already."

"I won't... I can't."

"Then I'm moving out. I can't take it anymore... this is why I don't speak to any of my old friends anymore."

"You're being petty... you can't move out."

"I've made up my mind. Just give me a few days to clear my things up," I said, rushing upstairs.

Yes, he was right. Life would have been easier with me still being a taekwondo sensei, competing and carrying on his legacy. I wouldn't be this lonely or tired. Maybe, just maybe, I would have been happy too. But to me, that's how one would choose to live a fake life. I'm tired of listening, watching, and sitting... not doing anything about the constant reminder. I won't be able to move on if I choose to stay where I am.

I have thought about it for a while now... I want to change. I'm hungry for it.

I sat on the floor, tossing my clothing into a bag as I furiously thought about all that I had endured while staying here... I don't even know where to go.