Allow me to.

Chapter 43

I stood on the balcony of the hotel I was staying at.

Another month another match. I was not as famous as Jamal was, but I was getting there slowly.

I also questioned how life works...I couldn't understand why my sister was instantly welcomed during her arrival, but I heard she's had her fair share of regrets which in my opinion is still no excuse.

"Are you sure you are going to compete?" Omar asked, walking towards me

"I'm down…" I replied, taking out the equipment

"Your mind is elsewhere you might get hurt."

"No, it's when my mind is elsewhere that I do my best…" I said walking into his arms, "Just give me hugs and I`ll never let you down."

"I have more than enough of those," he said squeezing me.

And I did it, I proved him wrong. During my fight regardless of how many times I almost blacked out, I won.

"Yes!" I yelled, jumping for my picture

"She ripped your head open," Jamal said

"Yes, I still won."

"Well done," Omar said, walking in.

"They broke your nose again?" I asked

"Not really, but I did get a blow…i`m just being careful."

"Jamal couldn't fight in this one, "I said

"Next time, I'm breaking his nose," Omar said

"We can go now!" he said aggressively, grabbing his neck

"Can you two shut up, or i`ll beat the both of you guys up…taekwondo style."

"well, we know who wins then," Jamal said, rushing to a group of his old comrades.

After getting my stitches I left trying to avoid the crowd, I had to use Jamal's bodyguards. The girl who almost beat me has never lost a fight in 10 years, looks like I'll be on her list for a while.

I didn't go home since I received a phone call regarding my sister's return. But did get several pictures with her and her children. Now all of a sudden she wanted us in her life, who knew that she was married I thought she was playing tennis!

and being a star.

"Your document is still blank," he said, taking a seat as he placed our coffee on the table

"I'm just not feeling it today."

He took my phone, "you've been staring at these pictures for days…just go and ask her what really happened, okay, Someone at the door," he said, opening it up

My mother walked in with my father as they took their seat in our living room.

"You haven't come home to visit us?

"for weeks now" my father said

"I've been busy with exams and kickboxing."

"Too busy to accept a phone call," my mother shot back

"It was okay when she did it," I said, "when she could just walk out and leave and not want anything to do with us."

"We did something to make her leave…" my mother said, "a lot of people left."

"I want to leave now, I want nothing to do with her…why would she only come back when she has nothing!"

"Don't raise your voice at us," my father said

" I won't if you leave."

"We have to talk this out," My mother said, calming him down, "I understand how you feel, but there are things we can't tell you…"

"I deserve to know…"

"Maybe some other time your father is too angry about this."

After they left I sat there silently watching the clock on my wall, before Omar came over with the first aid kit.

"I need to clean your stitches, "he said, holding a tub and cloth

"I'll do it," I replied, taking the kit.

he gently took it back before using the stuff to clean my would. Both of us were silent...I was too upset. I felt alone like no one understood why I acted the way I did

~breakfast the next day ~

"Food?" he said, closing the kit up

"I'm not hungry, Omar…don't bother."

"I'll just have the takeaway on my own then, your favourite coffee…a few of those glazed doughnuts from the new bakery…but you're not hungry?"

"Wait, just one doughnut," I said, stealing the packet

"It's all yours, don't forget our press conference this afternoon."

I nod with my face stuffed with the doughnuts, wow, reverse psychology really did work.

I think what bothered me the most about everything... was her feeling more like a stranger and trying to force her way into my life. Over the years, people do change, or their true colours are revealed. To have someone claim to hold that much value in your life suddenly appears, claiming that space in your life is not easy to digest. Plenty of senna (tea) would be needed to process this kind of food.

A sibling is someone you build memories with over the years.

Through hate, love, trust and every other small aspect that leads to you loving that imperfect yet perfect individual. I couldn't accept, or maybe I didn't want to accept…that this was my own flesh and blood and that I was obligated to accept and forgive her regardless of what there have to put me through cause, in the end…family is all that you've got left when the world turns against you.

But for some reason, did I not want to go accept that, nor did I want to know the reason behind everything. I hated the mere thought of it, it made no sense. The only thing that did make sense was the stubbornness and wanting to rebel against everyone who fed me this type of advice, BE ON MY SIDE. HATE ALONG WITH ME…MAKE ME FEEL LESS PETTY…but then again, everyone is entitled to their feelings and ideas towards a certain situation. Just as I am entitled to mine…let me hate and hurt until I feel like loving again, let me break walls and cut wounds open…allow me to be the one who is upset, hurting and distant. I, too want to go be this way, I, too want to be on the other side of the coin, but then again, that wasn't who I was and not who I wanted to be, yet it's exactly where I found myself...