Let me in on the goods

Chapter 54

'Zamin' 

If I'm doing more of her dirty work, I also wanted to benefit. And so we devised a plan to break the newlyweds up so that I could be given a shot at having her as my own. I never wanted to resort to such methods, but I felt myself going insane day by day…this whole getting over someone is taking too long. 

I wasn't proud of myself, but being selfish this one time wasn't going to kill anyone. ..I was willing to do anything for her if only she knew. How desperate I was to be with her. 

Society makes it look like it's a bad thing, a shameful thing to want someone to the extent where you desperately seek them. I, however, saw nothing wrong with this. It is my way of loving. Intensively and overtly. It's a disease with no cure and no research. No, but..she would cure me. Me in my madness, me in my shameless desperation, me in my yearning, me in my wanting of her. I had to get her...no, I needed to. To regain my sanity. 

'Omar'