Chapter 21.

The sun is so freaking hot. The ground is so freaking hard. My mouth tastes so freaking bitter.

I blinked the hangover out of my eyes, the sun pelted through my sunglasses, making me shut them again. I swept the earth around me, a cold can eventually tapping against my fingertips. I dragged the small beer bottle to my lips and flicked open the cap, letting the harsh liquid dribble down my throat. It still tasted as bad as last time – but it wasn't even doing its job. It wasn't filling up the hole.

I raised the bottle into the air, clinking it against a shovel sticking out of the ground. "Cheers, Tick," I muttered. No one else was around me, Tick six feet deep next to me, the loneliness pressing me.

I sat up, my dirt covered hands brushing against the damp grass. I was…somewhere. I don't remember getting here, I don't remember digging – I don't want to remember putting him into the hole.

The crunching sound of thick boots on gravel nudged me out of my trance. A Watchman stood in front of me, beefy arms folded, bald head glistening with sweat. A twisted smile on his rough face. My old friend from a month ago – still as beastly as ever. "Hey, Stray. Been a while, ain't it?"

"Ah shit." I slumped onto my back and let my head sink into the soft soil. "Not today, man. Please?"

The clicking buzz of his electric baton cut through the air. "You know the rules, Stray."

"There aren't any," I muttered, the beer slipping through my teeth. "And if there were I wouldn't follow them, anyway."

I didn't have to lift my head up to notice that he was closer now. The tip of the baton buzzing just above my right knee. Go for the knee first so I can't run away – looks like the Watchmen were getting a little smarter.

"Excuse me?!" a shrill voice cut through the warm morning – afternoon? – Air. "No weapons are allowed on Church grounds."

The Watchman ignored the small woman, rolling back his bowling ball sized shoulders. The small woman darted towards him, her thin fingers wrapping around his forearms. She was a nun, her golden cross necklace glimmering in the sun above us. She had a stern look on her mottled face, beady black eyes unmoved by the thousands of volts of electricity surging through the metal bat near her leg.

The Watchman shoved her aside. The small woman fell into the fresh dirt covering Tick.

"Assault against Mother Gladys, the possession of a weapon on Church grounds, and illegal threatening of a Rogue." Golden eyes pierced the air, chocolate skin glowing in the sunlight. Hera walked out of the rear door of the Church, her boots thumping against the thick grass.

"What?" he snarled, pointing the bat towards Hera. "That last one isn't a law."

She shrugged. "In a few months it will be. So I suggest that you leave, unless you don't want to see your mother again."

"A bluff."

She shook her head, an amused smirk on her sculpted face. "She turns eighty in a week. Let's make sure that she lives to see it."

He glared at her, she glared at him. He broke first, switching off the bat and muttering death threats towards Hera. Looked like he didn't want his mother to see eighty. He balled up his fists and pumped out his chest, striding past Hera and into the old wooden Church.

Hera bent down and helped Mother Gladys onto her feet, brushing away dirt from her back. "I'm sorry about that Mother. Please forgive my indiscretion."

The old woman chuckled, an ancient smile forming on her lips. "Anything for my kindest patron. Will I be seeing you later for evening mass?"

She looked over to me. Probably unimpressed. Probably disgusted. I was covered in dirt and drinking in a Church graveyard. I've been through lows, but this, this is deeper than rock bottom. But her face wasn't plastered with either. It looked like pity, like understanding, like she was hurting too.

The old woman nodded, breaking her hold on Hera's arm. "I understand. He is a good boy, Hera. He was the only one to come here with that poor boy hanging from the bridge and put him to rest."

"Please, Mother, if it isn't too much to ask," Hera said, "Would you mind arranging a proper burial for him?"

"No." I sat up, a little too quickly I'll admit. My head smacked against the invincible barrier of pain that dehydration brought with it. "Just…let Tick rest. Please. He deserves it."

Mother Gladys nodded. "Take care of this boy, Hera."

She smiled. "I'll do my best, Mother."

Mother Gladys muttered a quick prayer over the pile of dirt, forming a cross afterwards. She hobbled in between flowers and small trees on her way back to the Church, thin fingers plucking the brightest and most stunning flowers.

"Come on, Daniel," Hera said. She was already near the Church's back entrance. "We have a lot to discuss."

I got to my knees. But it felt wrong. Just leaving Tick alone wasn't right. Here for me on the good days, here for me on the bad. I wasn't there for his all the time. And now it was too late to make up for it. I promised him he wouldn't have to make any more hard decisions. He had made his last – trusting me to finish off everything in the Gray – and he had died. The one time that the weight was off his shoulders, the one time in a month when he looked like the Tick I knew, and he had died. Because he listened to me. Because he trusted me.

I clutched the dirt in my fists, tears watering the moist earth. An ache was spreading through my body, it arched through my chest, down my legs, up my neck, across my arms. Praying for his sins my ass. He had ended up paying for them himself. I promised I would take them on for him. And he was the one in the earth, he was the one taking on the brunt of the Gray. I hadn't even been fair with him ever since I came to the Gray. I didn't properly check on him. I didn't listen to him. I didn't have his back like he had mine.

Maybe that old bastard in the hospital was right. I'm more like him than I wanted to accept.

Warm hands lifted me up from the ground and wrapped around me. Cold fingernails stroked through my hair, my face digging into the crook of her neck. Shudders broke through my body, breaths tore out of my mouth.

"I should have just gone with him," I cried. "I thought I was helping him by letting him go alone. But then he was caught and…and now this. He must've been so scared."

"What are you going to do with your pain, Daniel?" Her voice filled the air like a hymn floating from the mouth of the actual Hera.

"I-I don't know. I can't think straight. I can't even do anything right," I choked. "Wasn't there for Mum. Wasn't there for Tick. Who's next, Hera? I don't want to be-"

She cupped my face. Her golden eyes were gentle, pain seeped out of them, and her lips pulled down at their edges. "You were there for them, Daniel. You were the last face they saw, the last face that made them smile."

"And how do you know?"

She flipped my hand and brushed off the dirt. She placed the tip of her finger at the top of my palm and drew a line to my wrist. She outlined a heart after that, and folded my hand. She pressed my fist against my chest and smiled. A smile that was so similar to my Mother's that it could have been an exact replica. Exactly like the one Mum gave me when she drew the exact same sign on my palm when I was a kid.

I staggered backwards, my breaths catching in my throat. "How do you know that?"

"I know that you were the last face that flashed in front of them because you mattered that much to them," she said. "I promise and hold it over my heart – a silent promise no one will ever know apart from you. Tick's unsung promise to you was that he would make sure you're safe and away from this mess. Your Mother's was for her to make sure you find happiness, a family, and friends."

She stepped towards me, her hands curling around my shaking ones. "That pain that Magnus is putting you through: your fuel to make sure that Tick's promise to himself is fulfilled. The Rogues are your family, your friends and your happiness."

"That doesn't answer my question," I snapped. Tears continued streaking through the first on my cheeks. "What do I even do now?"

"Make sure Tick was right to die thinking of you."

**

I led Daniel back to the car. He was stoic the entire drive back, I could see my words flicking past his different color eyes. The seed had been watered – he was on our side now. It took longer than I had hoped, but the Unit was amongst us now. We were going to beat that chess piece in a suit.

But…that's not why am I'm happy he's staying. I have already let one Fallow leave me before, I wasn't going to stand to losing another. Hunter would have to forgive me for dragging Dan into this. But he was a war dog like me – he'd understand.

"Ma'am?"

I turned away from the window. We had stopped outside of a large hotel. My hotel. One of them at least. Bronze bots in suits buzzed around the doors, carrying bags in and out of the doors. The sun above us making the white building glow.

"Major, please take Dan into meeting room G."

The salt and peppered haired man in the passenger seat nodded, the scar running across his face wrinkling with the movement. I squeezed Dan's hand before he slid out of the car – something I'm not accustomed to. Nero had tried to teach Hunter and I about basic human empathy, but here I am, struggling to reassure a broken teenager.

"He's a lot like 2LC Hunter, wouldn't you say?" the curly blonde driver said. A private, new to the ranks, but experienced.

"To the bone," I said, my eyes lingering on Daniel as he entered the white building, golden doors swinging gently. "But also a lot like his mother."

**

The lobby is so freaking bright. The lights so freaking harsh. The sounds so freaking abrasive.

Families lounged on couches and against walls, bags packed and heading into large elevators, others talking loudly into earpieces. Bots flew around the large room, handing out drinks and sandwiches or playing with smaller kids. The Major led me down a large tunnel of a corridor, golden accents lined the floor, the warm buzz of white light above us. We passed several feet high doors, all of them dark oak with golden accents. The amount of credits oozing out of this place was astonishing, no wonder Hera let the Rogues do whatever they wanted – she already had everything down. She just had them to lead, she had a promise to keep.

We came to a stop at a white door, stark compared to its darker brothers and sisters. He pushed the door open and let me through, closing it behind me. If it wasn't obvious already, Hera is really into the old styling of things. I expected silver tables and white walls, L shaped chairs and flat screens covering the wall, but there was nothing but the opposite. A hazel colored table ran down the length of the room, large leather chairs ran down either side of it. The walls were covered with old paintings from what seemed like hundreds of years ago, in curvy old wooden frames. A bar was at the very end of the room, a rainbow of alcohol bottles on the shelf behind the bench and the table.

Saia was sitting on the table, arguing with Draco about something. Mei sitting on one of the leather chairs – elbows on table and scrolling through her pad. Kira was assembling on of her guns, it was new – all black with white accents, her initials in cursive along the barrel. They all paused when they saw me.

"Hey guys." I tried and failed at a smile. I put the aviators on my collar and took a shaky step forward. "So, how about this hotel, huh? So freaking busy and loud."

They kept staring at me, their faces all blank, and barely breathing. Kira broke the mold and came to me first, a slight hesitation running across her before she hugged me. She had a phobia of dirt, and I was drenched in it. Strawberries and mint today, her blonde hair brushing against my neck like soft waves of cotton.

"I'm sorry I didn't come back yesterday," I muttered.

She pulled away and shook her head. Her eye patch was off again. "No. Don't worry about that right now."

Saia said, "Don't apologies. It's our bad for not helping you out yesterday."

"Tick was close to all of us so…that was hard yesterday. Last night especially," Draco muttered.

"Are you alright?" Mei asked.

I smiled. This time succeeding. Kind of succeeding. Not really, but I tried. "I…want to think I am. For now at least."

The door swung open, the cologne announcing his arrival. "Look who it is, everyone. The prodigal son has arrived," Jin sneered.

He walked towards me, shoving his palms into my chest. I stumbled back into the table, the edge catching my back. "What's wrong, Stray? You had so much fight yesterday when I was kicking the shit out of you."

"Jin. Leave him alone, man," Draco said, standing up and towering over us.

Jin took a step back and raised his hands. "Hey, I was just trying to have a have conversation with a piece of shit."

"Could you just shut the hell up for once?" I muttered, massaging my temples. The hangover still bouncing around my skull.

"Excuse me?"

"Want me to say it in another language?"

He jabbed a finger into my chest. "You have a lot of talk for someone who let your best friend die."

My fist crashed into his face before I could register it. He stumbled back and massaged his jaw. Saia grabbed Kira's shoulder, shaking her head. This was a Jin and Dan issue. We were going to sort it before Hera came.

"Springing to violence so freaking easily," he muttered. "Isn't that so freaking wonderful."

"You know what, Jin?" I said, our eyes locked, bodies tense. "What's so freaking wonderful is the fact that I knew Tick for years and he never mentioned you once. So how about you take yourself down a few notches because guess what? You were nothing but a hookup."

He chuckled. "Right. And all the years I knew him he told me about you almost every single day. Made you seem like you were some sort of angel. So it's pretty damn pathetic considering you killed him."

The door swung open again. Hera strode in, the Major right behind her. She sat at the end of the table, the white leather sighing as she took her seat. Everyone else took theirs, Jin and I continued glaring at each other. Kira pulled me away and I sat down next to her, leaning back on the chair and folding my arms.

The hell did Jin know. Talking to me like it was my fault that Tick died. I had tried to do the right thing. I had tried to get him out of this. But Magnus had somehow found Tick. And Jin was talking down on me like Tick meant something to him. Not once had I heard him talk about Jin, not once had I heard him say anything good about him during the one night we stayed together before the apartment fire. And…and Tick had always spoken so highly of me. And now he was in the ground because of blind trust.

Jin sat down opposite me, a seat away from Mei. "Can I pitch something before we start, Hera?"

Hera nodded. Her fingers laced around a glass full of brown liquid, a blank expression covering her face.

"If Stray's mother had done her job and swallowed instead, we wouldn't be in this fucking mess," he said. "But what do you expect from something out of a skin farm?"

I flew across the table, my forehead smacking against his sculpted nose. We crashed onto the carpeted floor. I was on him before he could recover, one hand around his throat, and the other pounding into his face. A thick forearm wrapped around my throat like a steel pipe and yanked my off of Jin, the Major's salt and pepper hair pressing into the side of my head.

I struggled against the choke hold. "Don't you dare talk about her again," I yelled.

I staggered onto his feet, his face a bloody mess. "At least I know where mine is."

A fist slammed down on the wooden table. Waves of heat an aura around Hera. "Jin. Out."

"Lemme ask you something, Your Majesty," he said, one eye on me, the other shut behind swollen flesh. "You're really going to push me aside for this mangy piece of shit?"

"Oh so help me God." Hera stood up, the golden desert eagle already in her fists. Everyone in the room took a collective step back, including the Major forcing my arms behind my back. "I'm done, Jin. Go home and think about your actions. I understand the position you were in with Tick, but for the love of all that's Holy grow up."

"So-"

She leveled the gun to him. The large barrel sucking the air out of the room, perfect gold matching the fury in her eyes. "Out."

He spat blood onto the floor and stormed out of the room. The thick forearm dropped from my throat, the Major patting my back as he took Hera's side again. She straightened her black t-shirt and readjusted the golden cross on its silver chain around her neck. She stuffed the gun into its pouch and gracefully sat down in the chair.

I sat back down next to Kira. She gave me a worried look, I gave her a shaky smile.

"Anyone else want to add on?" Hera asked.

A collective shake of the head.

"Now. Mei and Kira – how is project Jericho going?"

Mei said, "We're done with the aiming system but the barrels keep overheating after about a minute." She glanced at me. "But since we know that the Unit can kind of calculate things maybe we could…"

"No," Kira snapped. Then straightening up in her chair and clearing her throat. "No. Maybe we shouldn't use it so early."

"But we have it – him. We can do almost anything," Saia cut in.

Hera examined Kira for a while, eventually she said, "I agree. Using the Unit this early could raise too many questions. And I'm not sure the boat is as plugged up as I thought. Too many white pieces amongst our blacks."

She turned towards Draco. "Are you used to the powder yet?"

He shifted in his seat. "I'm getting there. I can go an hour now."

She nodded and stared into her nearly finished glass of alcohol. "Keep working on that. Saia?"

She raised up her hand. It wasn't where it should have been. It wasn't there at all. "Blew up one of the tests by accident yesterday, I'm getting a robotics replacement today, though. But I have the concept down to its smallest size, packs one hell of a punch too."

"How big of a payload?"

She shrugged. "Don't know. Probably big enough to take a chunk out of the main bridge."

"Wait a minute," I said. "Can someone fill me in? I'm a little lost."

Kira squeezed my hand. "I'll fill you in later."

Hera stood up and began towards the door. "Dan, try and use the Unit as much as possible." She raised her hand and cut Kira off. "Train with Kira. She can recount things that you forget. Saia, when you're done go and help Mei with a new material for the gun barrels. Draco: you have to get used to the berserker pills." She turned her hand through the air, finally snapping her finger. "Mei, when did you say the walls should be online?"

"About a month. Maybe two weeks if Ceejay finishes writing the activation code. I'll help him with it."

She nodded. "All of you should get ready. In two months we'll all either be dead or at the top of this city." She paused before she left, a smirk on her face. "But it's me. So I hope all of you are ready for the top dogs option."

She left the room, the orchestra of noise coming from outside briefly blooming into the meeting room and then being shut off.

Saia cleared her throat and climbed onto the table. She dug her lone hand into her black satchel (covered in stickers and smiley faces no less) and brought out a small glass. A thick blue liquid sloshed on the inside.

Mei gasped. "No freaking way. Is that-"

"Saturn treated liquor!" she cheered. "I…acquired it a couple months ago. All for a special occasion like this."

"Acquired it?" Draco grunted.

"Stole." She grinned and set out shot glasses at the bar.

"No way am I drinking that stuff," Kira said. "Hera's moon treated stuff would put anyone down. But I'm not sure even she can handle Saturn treated.

Her complaint fell on deaf ears. Saia continued pouring the blue liquid into the glasses, a wild grin on her face.

"This is on so many levels of illegal," I muttered.

We sat down in front of the bar, Saia waving a hand in front of the five crystal glasses. She cleared her throat and stood on a beer crate. "Like Hera said, in a few months we might all be dead. We've already lost one of our own." Her voice broke briefly, a heaviness wrapped around us. "But, this is all we've got. Apart from Kira, she has like twenty cars and fifty houses."

Kira flipped her off. The soft laughter following it pushing away the heaviness.

"But real talk – none of us have anyone else. This is it for us. No mum's, no dad's. No brothers or sisters, aunt or uncles. Just us five. We probably won't be seeing much of each other for a while, so," she raised her shot glass and we followed her, "to coming out the other end."

"And to Tick," I added.

"To Tick," they echoed.

We downed the shot glasses together. It tasted like…soil. Mixed with honey. And a ton of herbs. And almost every other flavor in existence.

"Shit," I muttered. The room was already beginning to sway.

"We are definitely not going to be okay in a few minutes," Draco said, pinching his nose and gripping the table with his large fists.

"A few minutes?" Mei slurred. "I feel like I've been drinking for half the day."

"Dammit, Saia," Kira groaned, massaging her temples. "I already have a freaking headache."

Saia shrugged and downed another glass. And like the talented group of idiots that we were, we did the same.

For Tick.