14.

Stray.

A ringing had settled in my ears.

I stared at Grace: pure smile, blue eyes seasoned with a hint of cracking sanity, and her nails either side of my head. They were cold, jarring and sharp as they cut through the mask's straps. It fell off my face and that rancid smell that had followed me from the Gray crashed into me.

I gagged and fought down the acidic taste that had settled into my mouth. She was talking, rambling and waving her arms around, but I couldn't hear any of it past the ringing. My stomach couldn't hold onto everything inside it. I'd killed by my own free will. Orders. That's what she'd given me, and I'd carried them out without question. I'd convinced myself that the feeling of pushing through was because of the Unit. Crawling through the sewer, pushing myself through the raging river's current, killing the couple at the metal door.

All me. Not because of what's inside of me.

She slapped me. It stung, her nails left shallow cuts on my cheek – blood ran down my face and soaked my collar. I touched my cheek tentatively, my shaking fingers coming back thick with blood. She had her hand around my throat in a heartbeat. She squeezed, my pulse beat against her cold hand, but I didn't fight it.

Maybe…maybe it would be better if I let her.

She brought me close to her face. "Look at you." She spat at me. "This is the reason why my branch of the family got everything. Your side…your side is filled with drunkards, cultists, and psychopaths trying to play big brother." She slapped me again, harder and with more nail. "But you, oh Daniel, you're different. You're actually useful. Do you know why?"

I knew why. But I didn't say a word. Mei's soft humming, the rattling ring in my head, the smell of corpses flooding my senses made concentrating too big of a task. And Grace's bursts of color every time she slapped me and drew blood made focusing through the blur of tears even harder.

"Because you have something that belongs to me." The hand wrapped around my throat tapped the base of my skull. "Inside here. That's mine. Just like the Gray."

"Take it out of me." A command that came as a plea.

She shrugged. "I would. But then you'd be dead, and trust me, I'd want that more than anyone. But I can't do that yet."

"Why not?" I whispered.

"Because, cousin," she whispered back, "wouldn't it just be easier to erase your memories and keep you on a leash instead? And then every time you get a little too close to the truth, we just start again. And again. And again. Until you come out of your trance one day lying on top of a hill of bodies that used to be your friends." She chuckled - low and mirthless. "But of course, you wouldn't know that."

I stifled a cry. This damn thing inside of me was the cause of so many problems. The reason I couldn't remember my life before all this. And here it is, lying dormant and observing from the depths of my conscious. I couldn't talk to the Unit and expect a response, but I could tell it enjoyed this. A tradeoff for being used by someone who hated it – it reveled in my pain. But that doesn't make sense, it's a machine that does what it's told. A machine that kills.

No, that's wrong. I'm the machine that kills, it just shows me how. And deep down, that drive to go deeper into the Gray, was from me. From my own wanting. Wanting because I felt a pull to a place that I used to call home? Or because there was something else going on deep down. Taking out my frustration of not remembering anything from the past, the anger I carried for Hunter whenever he'd go over the line and say or do something to Tohka and Casper that he didn't need to?

No. I saw the sparkle in my green eye. The eye that seemed like it was mine – the eye with no scar, the eye that didn't look out of place. I was a Fallow through and through, it was just our nature to do what we do. Hunter was a killer. Grace was a killer. And I was a killer. Our nature – to take and gain.

"But until then." She smiled. "Why don't we – why don't I have a little fun."

She punched me, her fist slamming into my nose. My head snapped back and blood exploded in my mouth, sour and metallic as it ran down my throat. She hit me again, a smile too similar to Hunter's tore across her porcelain skin as she bloodied her fist even more. The pain was coming from far away, like I wasn't the one being hit. Numb thuds against a skull that wasn't mine.

She was saying something again, shouting more like, her spit flying and smacking into my face. She let go of my throat and I dropped to the floor. I coughed and spluttered, sucking in air, only to gag and cough up blood from my mouth. My body felt slow, like I was swimming against the rivers current again. I tried to get onto my knees, but she forced the sharp spike of her high heels into my back.

I felt that one. That wasn't from far away.

Pain like a knife ripping into my back shot to my head. I screamed as she twisted her foot, the heel biting into my skin.

"Daniel!" she chirped, panting and tucking her inky black hair behind her ear. "All this red on my white carpet!" She grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me to my feet. My blood was a lake on the carpet, speckles of it lined the rest of it. "Don't you see it? You just painted your first picture. Isn't it wonderful?"

Fucking amazing, actually.

"I could just kill you." She pulled my hair even more.

"Please do." Blood and a swollen tongue making the words a whisper.

"It is my branches turn to return the favour." She shook her head. "As I said before, I cannot. But at least you have a talent for art. So all those hours we'll spend on the surgical table will be a delight!"

Mei wasn't smiling anymore. Her lips tugged down towards the red painted canvas at our feet. She shook her head and folded her arms. Disappointed? Disgusted? Both. I was too. But she was right, if I let Grace do whatever she'd been planning for me, then it would mean I'd forget her. And everyone else. Including all the people I'd killed.

I'd be shrugging off the blame for hurting people. Hunter and Grace may not care, but I do.

I punched her. Wild and unfocused so it only grazed her neck, but it was enough for her to let go of my hair. I stumbled away from her and massaged my neck, spat out a wad of blood on the carpet and gingerly ran my forearm across my nose – blood covered my arm, but the hammering of my heartbeat in my face had slowed.

"Look who grew some balls." She brushed her hands against her dress.

I'd lost the knife I'd been gripping onto, and the other was in her chair – just to her right. She had razors at her fingers tips, and I had nothing but my hands. And the Unit, this stupid, chaos raising machine in my spine. I wasn't at my best, my legs weren't completely underneath me, but she was still priority number one. Grace had to go.

Mei was smiling again.

I darted forward, sweeping at her legs. She was agile for someone in heels – springing back and jabbing her outstretched fingers at my calf. I pulled back before they could tear into muscle, they'd cut through my black trousers and shredded them. I leaped over her desk and pulled my black blade free. She threw a glass bottle of liquor at me, it exploded when it crashed into my shoulder – dousing me in putrid brown liquid.

She thumbed a small cylinder, a blue flame bloomed at its end. "Well," she was grinning, her sharp cheek bones eerie in the low light, "I could always just patch you up after I burn you alive."

Time slowed down as the lighter flew from her hands. I backpedalled and slipped on my own blood, hitting the floor and slamming my jaws against each other.

An axe split the lighter before it could reach me.

A flash of blonde hair, the gleam of silver eyes, and Hunter was on Grace. He grabbed the side of her head and slammed it into the short wooden bar. She jabbed her fingers into his palm and cut deep. He flipped her, she kicked out and slashed at his chest. He roared and grabbed her hands, she screamed and forced her heels into his thigh. He let go and stumbled back.

She lunged at him.

And I threw a heavy glass of liquor back at her, the glass smacking against her skull.

Chaos roared through the building now, the sound of raging gunfire exploded from outside, the thunderstorm of heavy boots came from the corridor. The white lights in the office matched the hue of red coming from outside. Guards filled the room like a virus, their rifles trained as soon as they stepped in. Grace's limp body disappeared in the heaving mass of muscle and metal.

I pulled Hunter behind the desk as bullets began ricocheting around the large office. Glass bottles shattered, the leather chair exploded and puffed out its stuffing.

I glanced at him, clutching his thigh and biting down on his fist as he tore at his shirt and tied it just above the wound. His hands moved quickly and professionally, like he'd done this before, but he probably had.

He grabbed my collar and pulled me towards him. "You need to go to the Gray!" he shouted over the chorus of gunfire, getting closer every round.

Tohka's plan from the start, but we'd followed mine. That had gone amazingly, of course.

"Where in the Gray?" I yelled back, ducking as glass shattered above my head, the glass of the lights above us showered us in sharp crystal.

"It doesn't matter." He yanked the blade from my hands. "Kira. Find a girl called Kira. She'll tell you the truth."

He was about to spring up from the desk, but I pulled him back down.

"What?" he snapped. "This isn't the time for sorry."

"I'm not apologizing to you," I snapped back. "Tohka. Find her."

"Dan-"

I grabbed his collar. "Find her and bring her back with you."

He raised his eyebrow, the guard had slowed down their assault, but a few of them had started creeping around the office – flipping over couches and tables, checking behind cabinets and large plants. "How do you know I'm coming back?"

"Because," I hissed, "you've done terrible shit in your life, and you don't get the luxury of dying this easily. Get her and bring her back. Got that?"

He nodded. "Got it." He plucked the whiskered mask from the ground and tied the straps on. Blood, he was still sick of it, but he was ready to swim in it.

He burst out from the desk, the knife already cutting through an unsuspecting woman. He grabbed her rifle and opened fire – still no good with a gun – but you don't need to be when you're aiming with no cause but destruction.

I switched on my old friend. Hunter to my back and dealing with the guard, and several stories high up. One option: out the window. There were more and more guard streaming into the office, but I'd still put my money on that jackass. I could already hear his showboating and his cat calls. Already in his element as the bodies started piling up.

I crawled towards the floor to ceiling windows, stray bullets nicking the glass above my head as I searched beyond the window. There was a building across the street, the Unit told me it was possible, and it hadn't lied to me yet.

It better not start now.

I kicked the window first: nothing. I slammed my metal fist against it: something. Spider web like cracks splintered the perfect glass. I punched harder, rolling back my shoulder and forcing my fist against it. One, two and on the third, it shattered.

And boy did it shatter.

A hailstorm of tiny blades of glass exploded outwards as warm air burst into the office. It sucked, literally. It yanked me out of the office, and I would have hit the road a few seconds later if not for the metal frame that had held up the window. I gripped onto the frame for everything I was worth as the wind swayed me from side to side.

This damn thing inside of me better not be lying to me, because if it was, then I'd have a lot of things to say to it on the way to the pavement.

Mei sat on the ledge, staring out towards the Gray.

I pulled myself up and swung my leg over the edge. Hunter was gone, and so were most of the guard. The wind and swept away most of the smell from outside, but it smelt like a butcher's room inside here. I let my stomach win this round. I leaned over the window's edge and emptied it, hacking until I was done.

I looked at the building opposite the street. People were filing onto the roads below, some of them civilians, others clutching guns to their chests. The Unit told me yes, my gut told me no, but priorities had changed. Kira, go into the Gray, and find Kira. No orders this time to hide behind, just the sense of being pulled forward.

I took a few steps back, inhaled and fought down the stabbing urge to vomit again, and charged.

Times like these when I wished I could just be normal.

I reached the edge and leaped.

The people below me screamed and pointed.

I swore at the Unit and gave it a piece of my mind.

The wind raged past my ears as I began to drop.

And my feet hit the opposite building. I tucked in and rolled, slamming into an air conditioning vent only a few meters in. The Unit isn't sentient, but it had a sense of humor at my expense – that's a certainty. The wind had been knocked out of my lungs, but I was alive, and that was more than I could ask for.

I got to my feet and wobbled my way to the opposite end of the rooftop, weaving around satellites and mystery metal boxes. Another building, but this was taller than my current building, so an easy pass. But the streets were relatively people free, and there were window sills I could use as holds on my way down.

My thirty story way down to be exact.

The Unit showed me a way down. My stomach didn't object because it was empty, so I swung a leg over the ledge. My left leg next, and now I'm daggling, and then my boots are perched on top of the first ledge. They were short ledges, two or three inches short, so this would be extremely fun.

The wind pushed my body against the building. It whistled in my ears and snapped my hair against my raw cheeks. Shimmy down into a squat, grab the ledge, dangle, and drop down to the next. I just had to hope no one decided to get some fresh air, because dying like this wouldn't look good on a tombstone.

Or on the pavement.

Every muscle in my legs screamed by the time I touched the ground. My arms would have probably given out after a climb like that if they weren't bionic. I sucked in air and broke into a run/stumble. I pushed past civilians streaming towards Grace's blaring building, still glowing red and resonating with its harsh alarm.

The wall of white guard appeared from the street joining to the one I was on. They sprinted past me, down towards the housing Units. Down towards the river. I didn't give them a lot of credit usually, but they'd guessed we'd try escaping.

One of them turned and stopped. His gun raising and people screaming as he opened fire. He'd spotted me, which was easy considering I was covered in blood and wearing all black. I dived behind the arch way of a small hotel, the bullets biting into the concrete and plastering the side of my face with powder.

He stopped and charged, swinging around the arch way and landing a kick inches from head. I rolled away and got to my feet. A dive at his legs, a punch to his crooked nose, and he was out. I pulled the gun from his arms, still no killing, but I could act the part to make things easier.

I ran back out into the street and sprinted towards the housing units. People got out of my way like I was the plague, the rifle was raised high and I was screaming my throat roar, so it seemed like there was something wrong with me at least.

Guard stood like a wall in front of the housing unit, it bent and meandered, but stretched all the way down both sides of the street. All the way until the far away forest.

"Dan?!" a voice raged. "You bastard!"

I spun and caught a punch straight to my gut. I stumbled backwards and wheezed. Casper balled his fists and swung at me again, grazing my shoulder and then my cheek. The Unit showed me the easy way to deal with him, but I was only going to listen to it when it was being useful.

The sea of people pushed him closer towards me. Close enough for me to see his blue eyes glimmer, near black in the dim lighting of the streets.

"I knew it," he spat. "You and your brother aren't what you say you are."

"Casper-"

He lunged and kicked me, his shin smacking against mine. He followed up with a body shot and an elbow to my jaw. I tensed my side and blocked the elbow.

"Casper listen to me," I shouted. Ducking underneath a punch and swatting away another.

"Shut up." Saliva frothed on his lips. "You fight exactly like him." Another punch, another block. "Under looking me. Blocking like I'm not worth it." He tackled me and wrapped his hands around my throat. "Is that it? Not worth it? Is this Island not worth it? All these innocent people and you want to kill the person that gave them safety?" He brought my head up and smacked it against the concrete. "Disgusting."

I was right not asking him. Kira was the priority, and he was in my way.

I pushed away the buzz in my head and punched his throat. He coughed and sprung off of me. He got to his feet slowly, but too slowly. I kicked, my boot crashing into the side of his head. He was out before he hit the ground. I could drag his body with me, but if he woke up when I reached the river, we'd both end up drowning.

The sea of people swept away his body.

I'd lost the gun, but it wouldn't matter now. The guards were already on me, a few of them breaking the wall and pushing past the wave of people. Other guard shouted at them to come back, more of them tried to take their place, but it wasn't happening quickly enough.

I trusted the Unit this time.

Ducking and weaving past guard and civilians, letting the rush of people carry me forward like I was one of them. I was spat out of the mass and bolted towards the gap in the human shield. They shouted at me, some of them raised their guns only to be smacked down. They couldn't shoot without wiping out the people behind me.

More of them broke away and created bigger gaps. They wrapped around me, but I kept running. Just past the gray blocks of the housing units, just past the river, was where I was meant to be. These pricks weren't going to stop me.

I drove my shoulder into the first soldier, swinging my fist into the next one's jaw, and kicking the third in the stomach. The Unit urged for the quick way, the blood soaked way, but I wasn't having any of it. I clawed my way through them, tearing away from their grips every time they got a good hold of me.

I was breathing hard, my sides and chest were bruised. My t-shirt was torn and ruined, but I didn't care, I'd broken through their wall.

But I'd broken through their wall. Meaning they could shoot now.

I reached the housing unit's stairs when the first bullet dug into the back of my thigh. I smacked into the rest of the stairs, scrambling up and doing my best to ignore the numbness settling in my thigh. Blood was soaking through my pants and down my leg, cold and smooth, until it filled my boot. I limped my way through the glass door I'd broken and into the inky darkness of the lobby.

Bullets hammered against the housing unit and destroyed the front of the building. I dived – okay, fell – into a tiny room identical to mine. I couldn't move my leg anymore, the adrenaline had numbed it and made it useless. And so had the bullet. But the adrenaline explanation sounded better, so I'll stick with that. But it felt too useless to be just one bullet.

I gingerly rolled up my pant leg, the first stabs of pain show up my sides as I got to my thigh. Three wounds, all of them deep.

The Unit told me the obvious: I was going to pass out soon.

I tore away what was left of my t-shirt and wrapped it around my thigh. It soaked immediately, but it would do for now. I gripped onto the small bed frame and hauled myself up, leaving behind a bloody imprint on the silver metal.

I stumbled towards the window, the sound of boots marching into the building echoed throughout it. My heart beat knocked against my ribs as they neared. They were going to shoot on sight, and then it would be up to Grace. I wasn't going to become her chess piece.

Mei cocked her head.

I found my way to the window, tiny and crossed with bars. I held onto them – a mixture of needing to stand and ripping them off. I tugged on them, pulling harder and harder, putting weight on my good leg and twisting my body. With a shriek the metal tore away from itself, leaving the glass.

The first guard ran into the room, no talk, just her gun raised.

I pulled myself through the window, the metal ends cutting my sides, stray bullets ripping into my calf as I pulled my bad leg through. It was just a hill now, sloping down towards the cement river bank. I landed on the hard grass and rolled. I wouldn't have been able to run down it, hell, I wouldn't have been able to stand, so I let it throw me down.

Rocks knocked against my sides. They cut and scraped at my cheeks, drawing blood from what seemed like old scars that Grace had left. The Unit was doing its best job of keeping me in one piece, but there's only so much energy my body has to keep itself alive and conscious at the same time. Hence the warning flashing in my vision that I was going to pass out.

Like my aching lungs and the wheezing escaping from my mouth didn't tell me that, already.

I smacked onto the concrete. I tried to stand but doubled over, darkness tugging at the edges of my vision. The bridges stretched out over me, the orange twilight of the morning rose behind the Gray, and the roar of gunfire and boots slamming down the hill was getting closer.

I threw myself into the river. No time to catch my breath, no time to reconsider, no time to register the pain that washed over me as the icy water jabbed into my leg. I gasped and spluttered for air as the water dragged me down, I tried to pull myself up to the surface, but bullets broke it just before I could.

The Unit flashed red warning in my eyes.

I pulled myself forward, my lungs threatening to pop and my heart on the brink of tapping out.

It gave me one more possibility: death. I couldn't pull myself across the river in this state; I couldn't drag my body over the several meter high bank on the other side; I couldn't cling onto my consciousness for much longer.

The Unit hadn't lied to me yet, so I trusted it. I stopped swimming, I let the burning ache in my leg pulse through me, and I let the current carry me.

My face broke the surface and a smell caressed my senses. Splitting the smell of blood and death, pushing them away until it was the only thing I could smell.

Honey and strawberries touched my nose.