THE DONNOR

CHAPTER 1

It was just after noon. The river flows peasefully beside me as I sit underneath the old willow tree, it has been a while since I had written in my journal. The pages had been haunting me as my fingers flip through them reminding me of my taunting past.

Dear Diary 23 February

I know it has been a while, but I feel better I really do.I can finally sleep at night without the memories creaping up on me. I have decided to start over, since I turn 18 over a week I can decide where I want to live. I am going to start a new life in the city get a job, meet new people and forget about the accident.

I knew my parents wouldn't have approved to this but since they aren't here anymore I will go my own way.

But I got to go aunt louise is cooking up dinner, she hates waiting

LOVE ANGY

As I push my self up from the ground trying to balance on my two numb feet, I lean towards the tree looking at the nest in the branch above me, the chicks are so young and unaware of what life holds for them, depending on their mother to bring home food...

My thoughts get interrupted by the hoot of a car beside me.

It is my aunt Louise, had I really been that long. Aunt Louise was never really one for patience I guess that was why she and my mother always fought about the smallest things. They were so different but yet so the same.

"Angilique! You better get in the car right now,you know how much I hate waiting."

I could feel my stomach growling as I struggle

to walk through the pins and needles in my feet.

"hello to you too." She keeps on looking at me with a slight grinn on her face

"You remind me so much of her, you know she used to be a dreamer like you. I was the realistic one between the two of us."

My aunt always spoke with such pride when she was talking about my mother.

She looked at me in her mirror as if she was expecting me to say something in return but I remained quiet, it had been two years since the accident. I prefer not to talk about it even though they expect me to.

CHAPTER 2

When I got home the four plates put out on the dark oak table caught my attention. Usually it was me, my aunt and uncle Jack. It had been so since their daughter Denice became an exchange student. Aunt Louise always tried to make the best of everything when Denice came home.

As we hear the roaring of a car spinning on the loose sand in the driveway aunt Louise rushed to the door, who could she be expecting?

I am usually not one for guests I just dont get why aunt Louise always makes such a big deal out of it. But Curious indeed am I, I slighty pull the curtains away to find Denice and a tall figure walking towards the door. She has always been full of suprises and aunt Louise on the other hand hates to be caught by suprise. "Denice my dear come in, I see you've brought a friend. Funny you did not mention bringing a guy friend home." I could feel the tension blooming from the other side of the room where I stood waiting to greet them. Denice never had a boyfriend before, her parents were very strict when it came to boys. I never knew why.

"Mom, dad this is my boyfriend Peter." I carefully examine his perfectly clear skin and his rosy cheeks with dark hair and blue eyes as he holds out his hand to greet them. "Mr and Mrs Anderson, lovely to meet you." I could tell he is one of those guys that didn't have to put in any effort to charm people, he could charm them with just one look. "Oh, the pleasure is ours." Aunt Louise leans in to take his hand. I could tell by the look uncle Jack gave with his dark brown eyes that he did'nt like this guy much. I walk towards them to introduce myself. "Hi I am Angilique, Denice's cousin but they call me Angie." As I take his soft hand which by the way feels like the cheeks of a baby. "Pleased to meet you Angie." I could feel Denice's eyes moving up and down on my chubby but not fat pale body but I chose to ignore it, ever since she went to stay in Allabama she became a bit of a snob. "Dinner is ready." Aunt louise called out from the dinning room.

I can't remember when was the last time I could peacefully sit at the dinner table and the attention was not on me so I choose to enjoy it while I still can. But then came the question out of Denice's mouth I have been trying avoid for a while now. "So Angie you are turning eighteen over seven days, what will you do after?" I was planning on telling them on my birthday but I guess it wouldn't kill me if I told them now. I wiped my face with the napkin next to my plate as I use the food in my mouth as an excuse to take my time and plan on what I was about to say next. I could feel all the attention drawn to me. "You know funny you should ask, I am planning on moving to the city. You know start my own life." I could tell by the look on my aunts face that she was shocked. They always tried to give me the best life since my parents had passed and the last thing I would want is for them to feel like they have failed.

CHAPTER 3

Later that night when the lights were out and everyone went to bed I could hear my aunt wandering down the hall way just as she did every night for almost a month after my parents passed. I close my eyes pretending to be asleep as my aunt slowly opens the door. "Angie dear I know you are awake, I need to talk to you." I sit up straight and reach for the bed light with the one hand covering my eyes with the other for the bright light. I could see her wandering around in her thoughts,stumbeling on her own words as she does not know how to get them out. "When you were a little girl, you weren't very healthy your parents always sat beside your bed praying for your health, you were in the hospital almost every week. Then one day the docter told your parents that your kidney failed and you are in a critical condition. Your parents were devistated but they never lost hope, they kept on praying day in and day out, then one day the docter came with very good news, they had found a donner for you. It was a little boy, a orphan. The day of the operation came and as he entered the operation room he had fear in his eyes as they took him in on the bed pushing him pass me. He was lonely so I went in and stood there beside his bed holding his hand. I have no idea what happened to him after that day, but the love that burst through the blue eyes of that boy was unexplainable. I had never felt anything like that before. The point is I promised your parents to look after you and if it is your wish to chase your dreams even if it means you moving away,I support that." I look at the tears flowing through her big blue eyes,they were filled with so much love.

I couldn't get out any words other than "thank you." as I lean in for a hug. I could feel the heat of her tear drop rolling down my shoulder. We were both speechless as she turns of the bed light and give me a kiss on my forehead just as my mother use to do when I was a little girl.

CHAPTER 4

Dear Diary 30 february

It had been seven days since my aunt told me about my donner, I could barely sleep at night he is literally all I think about: Who is he?; is he still alive? does he wonder about me too? Today is my birthday but I would rather be at my happy place beneath the willow tree by the river talking to my diary. Some people would call it depressing but I prefer to call it dealing with my demons.

but as depressing as this may sound I am going to take off my shoes and walk barefoot in the river like a crazy person and not care if it is my birthday

love Angie

As I carefully stamp my feet through the water trying not to slip on the algue, a loud crash nearly startles me to death. I rush out of the water and slip my khaki shoes on my feet and grab my bag where my diary is in. I hurry of to the corner where the crash came from, and there a block from the park where I was in peace running away from my past. There it was n green hyundai accent tumbled and crashed into a tree. The enjin was still burning hot as the steam came from the car. But something was wrong? Nobody seemed to care, they carried on with what they were doing. They smiled and laughed as if everything was okay. I decide to walk towards the car, there was a family of three. I look through the window on the passangers side. I gasp and fall to the ground, I grab my hair and tears came flowing from my eyes. There it was in the car, my memories laughing at me. My parents were gone how could it be? Yet there they was, my moms head smashed in the dash,her blooding still fresh dripping on the black rubber carpet. My dad next to her, trying to scream for help but his voice is weak. Slowly his voice fades away as his eyes closes after they looked at me staring at him through the window; and there at the back was a scared little girl confused and crying to her self. As my vision begins to fade and the noise of the traffic begins to drift away and suddenly everything was back to normal, the car was gone and so were the people in it. As I find myself on my knees still tears running down my cheek I look around me to notice people starring at me. I stand up and run home out of embarresment. As I get home I rush through the door and slam it behind me I could feel the eyes of my family staring at me with endless questions in their eyes, but this time I did not care. I always seem to try to out run my memories but like a hungry lion running after their prey they always seem to catch up. I head upstairs to my bedroom not caring if it is my 18th birthday, if I could get some peace and quiet to take in what has just happened to me I would appreciate it. Aunt Louise will understand.

CHAPTER 5

It is 8:00 pm, I had fallen asleep. When I woke up my mp3 player in still plugged in and the song 'It'll be alright' By Dean Lewis was playing in my ears. This guy always had such a voice. He is the kind of guy that has the girls kissing his feet and best of all he doesn't even expect it.

I get up to get dressed in a proper outfit, the silk of the navy blue pants I was wearing is still wet after all the splashing in the river. I walk towards the mirror, The thought of carrying a part of someone has me thinking a lot.

"Angilique! You alright dear I made some fresh tea, It'll make you feel better."

I know that if I go down there they will pity me and give me those sorry eyes, but if I stay here I might go mad with all these thoughts eating me from the inside.

I open the door and as I put my foot out and lean over the rail of the staircase my hand slips on a oily texture on the wood of the rail, gahhhh!!!! Denice of course that girly goody two shoes with her stupid hair products everywhere, see this..this I won't miss. Even though I am a girl myself I never get the use of these useless lady product: Make up; high heels; dresses; and different types of oils. I prefer as natural as possible I have my mom just morals.

"Ahh, Angie dear your tea is on the coffee table." The old coffee table, goes back for generations. Carved out of Oak wood with a glass surface. See every person has something that they value most of all their belongings. You know, that something that you would litterly kill for. Well this is my aunts, DO NOT EVEN LOOK AT IT.

"Angie we didnt even give you your gift yet." Aunt Louise holds out a piece of paper. This is a payment made 5 years ago for a house in the city it is made for my parents.I cant remember anything about a house in the city but what does this mean?

"Angie darling, your parents signed this of to you when they signed the will and testament, the house and everything in it. Because you are the only child they left you some money as well." I couldn't believe it. My face gloomed out of excitement.

"You are old enough to start a new life now. You better go pack, you are moving out tommorow!" My uncle was a man of few words but these words made my heart skip a few beats.

I rush to the room. The inside of my mouth dries out with the wind coming at my face as I run up the stairs. I slam open the door and grab big green bag from the top of my closet. Luckily I didn't have a lot to pack only clothes and a few things my parents passed on to me.

I reach out for a antique jewelery box under the bed it was my mother's and her mother's and her mother's mother, and one day I will pass it on to my daughter.

I open up the box to find a picture of my parents on their wedding day. "Mom, Dad I didn't know if you wanted me to move out but this house and everything said something else. This was the best gift ever. I hope I can make you proud, and become the woman you once were. I just miss you guys so much, it is hard to cope but I know you would've wanted me to." With me holding the picture to my chest I couldn't help but burst out in tears. My mom was a strong woman, but at times she would get tired and cry but my dad I hardly saw him cry. I just dont get where they got the money from I remember nights we had nothing to eat but a slice of bread. Those times were hard but I remained faithful...For them...

Through a blurr with tears in my eyes I notice a tiny Journal covered in brown leather and engraved on the cover it read "Angilique"

I open the book and on the first page was a letter from my mom

Dear Angie

"My beautiful baby girl I am so proud of the women you've become I wrote this letter hoping you would read it when you turn 18 but I am sure with a little help from your aunt that wont be a problem"

I could hear her pure laugh in my thoughts

"I know you have lots of questions which I can not answer but the reason we struggled all these years was not to punish you but to teach you the values of life. I knew I wouldn't always be there for you thats why we chose not to tell you about the house so that you would appreciate the little things. And maybe I will be there to hand this box to you myself or maybe not but either way do not appreciate any less. I know you are strong and never lose any faith in yourself and always chase your dreams.

I love you my darling angel"

love your mom

She always knew what to say at the right times. She was so perfect in every way. I carefully pack the jewelery box in a seperate bag. I was al packed, if I missed anything I could just get it packed tomorrow morning. But now I am excausted. I reach for my bed light and make my self comfortable in my bed.

CHAPTER 6

The sound of the rooster wakes me up, even he sounds happier than always. I jump out of bed and run of to the kitchen in my pajamas, everyone is sitting at the table waiting for me. "Morning Angie." Everyone is smiling at me with those creepy eyes. "Either that chicken is broken or your timing is a little bit off." They clearly didn't get the sarcasm I put into that sentence as they all laugh at me.

"We made bacon and eggs." uhhh my favorite, I might as well enjoy it since this would be the last of my aunts delicious meals. "Dig in" ohh no need to ask me twice.

This morning breakfast was more chearfull, we talked endlessly about the house and the belongings which I still couldn't believe was mine.

This morning when I got dressed I could finally express myself through my clothes, wearing a white dress that drops right above my knees covered in sunflowers. What screams "Happy" more than a canary yellow sunflower? a dress covered in them.

I head up to my room to bring my luggage downstairs. Just as I open my door my uncle pushes my out of the way in a playful manner. "Allow me." I like them this way, usually they are like a couple of old people. "Thanks uncle Jack but it is really not neccercary." He rolls his eyes at me. "Oh please, dont act like you dont need my help." He bursts out in laughter and carries my bags to the car. My eyes follows him as he carries my luggage as if it is nothing.

I walk down stairs to my aunt to see if she is ready. As usual there she is in her flowery dress with her golden logs of hair hanging over her shoulders and purple heels. Sometimes I question her taste. "Are you ready dear?"

I walk towards the door where Denice and her boyfriend was standing hanging on each other like a broken branch on a tree, waiting to greet me.

"You be safe It is a cruel world out there." Denice says as she hugs me. "Yes grandma Hestia." I said back in a sarcastic manner. Her boyfriend didnt say much he only nodded his head so I gave him a look. I dont like him much and I am very clear on showing him that.

We head to my uncle's dodge ram. I laugh to myself as I see my aunt with the legs of a corgi dog struggling to get in the truck.

As we drive to the city I lay my head on the window looking at the trees passing me, and the park. I am going to miss that park. My mother always took me there to chase butterflies and play in the river. But the whole point of moving is getting to start a new life.

Diffrenert types of buildings surrounds us some of them Big and some of them small some are tall with different styles of architecture. The streets are roaming with vehicles and people.

We pass a donut shop and there right infront of the shop on the sidewalk was lots of people crowding up. The city is a strange place but yet I already feel home. We slow down at the donut shop and get out of the truck to get a peak at what the other people see. Sitting on a paint can was a young man quite ravishing. The cheek bones of a greek god and the type of crystal clear blue eyes that can hypnotice any women, his hair was dark and well looked after. Singing the words to a layd back blues song with his moisterized hands stroking the strings of a vintage acoustic guitar.

A huge frown appears on aunt Louise's face as she steps closer to put $10 in his black top hat on the ground. She clearly pities him, there wasnt any money other than her $10 in the hat. He looks up at her, questioning her hospitality. He refuses the money. "Excuse me ma'am I do so kindly appreciate the money but that is not why I am doing this. Music just warms my heart." When we return to the truck my aunts thoughts wasnt her own. "There is something about that boy."

This all reminded me of my mother, her voice was so pure like the voice of an angel. She could bring peace at a war just by signing to them. She was a free spirit. Nothing ever worried her. May I be like her, the wonder women of my world

CHAPTER 7

We take a quick turn into a busy street. There on the corner was n big white house, not like the house of any ones dreams but the kind of neighbourhood friendly house for a 18 year old to start her own life. The yard is surrounded by a small oak wood fence and the lawn is a bit dried out but I can make something out of it. The house still looks good you wouldnt say that it has been abandoned for 5 years maybe even more. I jump out of the truck in excitement and run towards the door. I curiously try to look through the window in the wall on the right side of the house but it is all dusty, my aunt tries to open the door but it sealed. With one kick from my uncle the door slams open and dust comes out filling the air we breathe in.

The house is well furnished. It is surely not your ideal double story house, no this house could use some work but I like it. It is unique. There is a lot of antiques which is clearly the work of my mother but gladly I got that from her. I walk to the maroon coloured three seeter couch. This I remember my parents told me it broke, me and my dad use to play wrestle on this for hours.

I look at my aunt and uncle examining the house. "You will visit me right?" They smile and come closer with their arms stretched out leaning in for a hug. "Of course dear."

After a while they went home and boredom overtook me, so I started cleaning every inch of the house. At last I got to the bedroom but the sheets was covered in dust, I cant sleep in this. I noticed the house has a garage maybe I could go see if there is anything in there that can take me to the shops.

There I saw it my father's 1975 cherry red caddilac

ohh this has my name written all over it.. "Sweet baby moses." Luckily my dad's lessons paid off. We use to go for a sunday drive every weekend, he use to get so mad at me if I didnt get it right but it paid off. I look for the keys under the carpet at the door, my father always had his way of hiding things. There it was, I grab the keys running to the car. I give it a nice smootch and a pat on the spotless bonnet. I get behind the wheel. The enjin is still roaring as always. Ahh the sweet sound of heaven with wheels.

I slowly pull away taking caution,it has been standing for a while now after all. Its gonna take some time to get use to these busy streets. There at the county side its quiet, its the kind of place where everyone knows each other. There is one market, a jail, post office and a small private school. My parents loved it, me on the other hand not. I always felt they were trying to punish me.

I get to the shop. It is gigantic, yet a lot more busy than I had expected it to be.

I use to love going to the shop with my mothe, it use to be the greatest adventure.

I grab everything I need from groceries to goods and curtains as well as sheets. On my way out of the shop after paying I push the stroller through a narrow space and there out of no where a young man comes right at me, I land on my bottom and my groceries right there beside me. He jumps up holding his hand out for me.

It is the guy from the donut shop, I'd recognised those eyes any where. "Pardon me ma'am, my attention was caught by uh...." He suddenly stopped talking, rubbing his neck anxiously. "Its alright." Something about him made my heart skip a beat, I ignore his deep blue eyes that stares deep into my soul and I pick up my things "Please allow me." he says as he reaches for a bag of rice. "No, no I am fine thank you." I might come off rude but I am not looking for love or a cheesy romance like in the movies. pff a sudden spark when their hands touch. We all know life doesnt work like that.

"Uhh okay, I apologize again." He is strange, somehow different. As we both get up he glances at me raising his one eyebrow. "I know people like you." " Excuse me?"

" You are one of those girls who rejects life because of something that happened to you in your past." how rude!