ONE

Kill. It's an interesting word to be honest as far as it dealt with something less menacing. It meant to end. To cut. Like the sharp snap sound from the clasp of the blades of scissors. Anyone could catch the sound if they listened loud enough but for me, I could hear it from a million miles away. Just like I could smell life from my sleep.

When a person says kill or thinks the word, it's usually based on the notion of murder, blood, or victim. Death. Those were human thoughts because for me I didn't think of myself as a killer. More a hungry animal, a cursed one.

The floors were cold against the skin of my back, reminding me sharply of the fur but the dominant thought was the bite. Starting light through the hairs, and right into the flesh as my fingers crushed the bones. I could still feel the hardened flesh between my teeth. Nothing my strength couldn't let me bite through with ease.

I was no monster or at least, I feel like I'm not. I had a three hundred thousand years old curse to blame for it all. Although my problems from it were just one. Lethal instincts.

It was back in 1814 or possibly 1418, I never really cared about the date. Paul Ferdinard becoming the first male wolf to be rejected with his long years of breaking hearts like dry leaf he stepped on with no care. It was sad and although I couldn't exactly blame his mate considering his past reeked of women, I still thought to myself day after day how whatever she had said wasn't necessary.

It wasn't logical in the slightest. One man mistake being dragged along the line of whoever falls into his bracket. Rejected. It wasn't like I could dive into history and smack some sensible curse into his mate.

***

Parts of the doubt I still had was whether humanity was....humanity. I wasn't someone to question anything if possible, but sometimes I wondered what most things meant. Just like the whisper I heard.

"Amira," it was a call. A low one, fit to be an echo if it was louder. I didn't understand the meaning, but the repetition made me know it was for me.

"Amira, can you hear me?"

"Amira."

The eyes I didn't know were closed fell open immediately with the increased and stern tone of the name. My name. Although it didn't feel like it.

A dark-skinned woman stood in the line of my sight; her eyebrows creased in wonder. She was old. Not too old, but old enough to know that my state was not fit to be a cause for alarm. It was simply normal. She stood straight and folded her arms across her chest, therefore creasing the regular blue gown she wore. It was as old as she was and completely worn out but for some reason, it was the only thing she cherished. Or the only thing I think she cherished. I never really bothered to know her more.

"Linda," I muttered.

"You look messier than usual," she said, and it was then I tasted the blood.

I raised my head off the pillow and pushed myself to sit as I looked around, the feeling of thick, blooded flesh still in my brain.

My room was a mess as I was too, like she said. The sheets were soaked with red, especially the pillows, all thrashed about and then there was me. I could feel the dried smear on my face and the stiffness of my jaw like I had chewed bone for a thousand years. My memories were worse than the feelings. My chest was still as stiff as ever with my mind clouded with years of judgements and voices that weren't from me.

"What time is it?" I asked her as I stood to my feet.

"Almost ten. You're late for school again," Linda replied as she bent over to undress the bed, no sign of disgust on her face as a normal person should have.

I didn't say a word as I turned around and went straight into the bathroom. Not even a thank you, because it wouldn't make a difference. Linda wouldn't reply, she never did when I tried once, only telling it was what she was meant to do.

I didn't know what it meant at the time but I knew it was what she does. Clean, cook, help, with no questions asked. It was weird sometimes but so was I.

The water was hot against my skin as I just stood there. It was soothing in contrast to the heat I felt from within but the sharp sight of the red liquid running towards the drainage made my mind uncomfortable again.

The memories were inevitable at this point. Everything and everywhere was a reminder, like chime of the front door of the past even if it was nothing like I remembered. Those words that were thrown at me so harshly without remorse. It's hard to forget if you're the one it was inflicted upon.

Rejected. I tried not to think of the word but then my brain was already forcefully wired to always remember. A cursed wolf rejected and thrown away, forever to starve and kill.

Lethal instincts were the short form of the whole process and it only made me think that history was an asshole.

It didn't take much long for me to be done and dressed, and Miss Linda done and absent, leaving behind a plate of food she knew very well I wouldn't eat. At that point, I was starting to wonder if the plate beneath the silver cover was empty since I never bothered. But the smell of chicken couldn't be denied, even though I have had much more meat than anyone could ever have. Except for Paul of course. The man lived many more years with the same curse than I have.

I felt pain as I bent to tie the laces of my shoe. It made me nauseous and dizzy, something I'd never felt in a while but I shoved it away. Nothing in life was normal, even if it was a sun that felt revolting on my skin as I walked to school.

The day was loud as usual. Loudly quiet. The hooks from outside town, the swooshing tree branches, the scraps of a drunkard's sole against the tarred roads and the large scoop. Pizza smell invaded, and all I could feel was nausea like my brain was rejecting each of my senses it was built to accommodate. It felt concerning but once again, I suppressed the thoughts because at least, that part, I could pretend to forget.

I was sure I was walking by the sidewalk, but a loud honk jolted me back to life, causing me to look around.

"Are you going back to school or you're going to school?"

The man was dressed casually. Normal dark shirt, blue jeans and a watch that never got the time wrong. The badge on his belt was always the tip but for some reason he never wore it and just like Miss Linda, his expressions showed no signs of worry or surprise.

It wasn't the first time seeing me miserable and late.

"What do you think?" I asked, pulling up the hood of my jacket in an attempt to shield my soul from the sun. The detective sighed before waving his hands for me to get in.

"Why are you here?"

"In my town?" He looked at me briefly and asked, already resuming the ride

"It's odd for a detective to be walking around in the middle of the day unless something is wrong,"

"It's odd for a student as well and yet here you are," he replied but I only looked away. "A body was found this morning by the bridge."

That got my attention.

"What happened?" I asked

"You tell me,"

The car stopped at those words, my peripheral vision showing me a sight of the school, but our eyes held each other at sight point.

"What does that mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean. You're the only one I know that goes to that same place every night and the only animal I know in town except for the Grey's who have been here longer," the detective replied.

All I felt was nausea, not fear. Not even a single hint.

"I would never hurt anyone,"

"Let's hope so and let's pray it ends up being another lethal animal."

The click from the car door by my side reached my ears. It was unlocked and it meant for me to leave with a spark of warning in his words.

I tried recalling the night as I walked into the school with the detective right behind me, but for some reason, I couldn't. It was just the thick flesh, messy bed, and the feeling of bones crushing beneath my finger. It had always been a deer and never a human but at that moment, I wasn't so sure myself. I couldn't remember a thing and that was odd, just like the disgusting feeling that slipped through me as I tried to remember.

I lost track of my steps as my mind was already deep in thoughts and all it took was the loud bell that was right over my head. A class door was held open with a pull from my hand, revealing every person on the inside, staring blankly at me, including the teacher. I only looked back.

"Was there even any point of coming to school today?" The teacher asked nonchalantly, making everyone laugh as they packed their things and rushed out.

Taking my past excuses for all lateness to school to mind, I didn't say a words and thankfully, she didn't have words to say as well but just to sigh and leave me in the classroom with only one student who waited.

"Long night?" Natasha asked as she stepped forward, bag in hand.

She was a wolf too. Only less lethal and more repulsive when she wishes to be. According to the story told, Natasha and her family were the last of their pack a few years ago from an ambush. A fire someone had lit. It caused them to rush to the human world and blend in, saving them from whoever was haunting their lives.

This was thirty years ag, and I didn't buy the story. The burn scar on her mother's arm was believable, but somehow, their story never matched. I didn't question, though. I couldn't dare considering my peaceful stay here was all thanks to them.

Natalie Grey was the second daughter of the Grey family in the town. The most respected ever considering their long presence since the days of her grandparents. They priories started from protecting the humans enough to protect themselves from other things. Like me. The curse over my head alone was a threat, and yet I was still alive with one condition that I check in with Mr Grey every Thursday of the week as my therapist. Usually, it was just to check if my lethal instincts were kept in check as agreed, and that was fine with me.

"Are you okay? You look sick," Natalie asked as we followed the rest of the crowd to the cafeteria.

I opened my mouth to reply, but one smell stopped me to.

"What are we having for lunch?" I asked her as we paused by the door. The nausea was bac, and the food smell made it worse. Or it could have been the sharp vision of my hands suffocating something.

It wasn't supposed to be disgusting, but it was, causing me to stumble backwards, and my sight to double.

"Probably pasta, what's wrong?"

An image of the food shot to my brain. The slithering mix of long wavy pasta. It reminded me of the flesh I ate, and it was supposed to be inviting and make my stomach grumble in hunger. It did the exact opposite.

"I need to throw up," I managed to say between breaths.

Natalie didn't hesitate. Grabbing my backpack off my shoulder, she dragged me down the empty hall and out the door to the bright light of the day. The nausea was made worse. I didn't know where she took me to, but her sudden stop had hit a spot in my chest, causing every part of me to pour out through my mouth.

I heard Natasha sneering in disgust as she stepped away until I was calm. Every food I consumed, every blood that felt tasty had gone out of my system. The irritation reduced as I rinsed my mouth, but it was still there.

"I think I feel better," I said with a sigh as I stood straight, face dripping with water Natasha had poured over my head.

I saw everywhere clearer than earlier. My insides felt released from pressure.

"Did you eat a dying animal?" Natasha asked as she handed my bag back to me.

"It didn't taste like death," I muttered.

"Doesn't have to."

We left the mess where it was in the corner between blades of grass and went straight into school. I could hear the chatters in the cafeteria from where we were, walking towards our lockers.

Three things happened at the same time just then. Students began to pour, and the halls got filled, a few with plates of pasta. Then the static sound as the principal's voice poured through the halls for an announcement.

"Good day, everyone. I apologize for this bad news, but I'm afraid that classes cannot continue today." He announced. "The police are investigating a serious case today, and it is advised that students are to head back home immediately. Please comply."

"Is that supposed to be bad news," I heard someone say as they passed by.

"A serious case?" Natalie asked with a frown.

The third thing was the smell. It was more like a scent. There were dozens of students in the hall, pouring out from all doors and filling the school with noise. I could smell sweat and pasta and perfumes, with alcohol in between, but one particular scent invaded my mind.

It was earthy and musty with a mix of sea breeze before turning so rusty that it caused my nose to itch in revulsion. Natasha and I began walking out with everyone else when I bumped shoulders with someone. I turned to apologize, and the scent grew stronger. He smelt of both enmity and friendship. It was uncomfortable, and one look into his eyes as a girl grabbed his hand to get his mind back on track, I knew who he was. What he was. I had so many questions, but I couldn't even speak as I watched his back disappear amongst the crowd.

Why did he smell so different, and apart from the discomfort, nothing seemed off.

"Dad?" Natasha called out, causing me to look forward and sure, Mr Grey was storming forward with flared nose and eyes staring right at me.

"You're coming with me," Mr Grey said, his arm grabbing mine so hard that I wasn't sure if what I felt was a slight pain or a whole dislocation.

"What's going on?" I asked as he dragged me towards his car with Natasha following right behind.

"Get in," he simply said. I complied, then followed in by Natasha with a frown etched to her face. We sat in the back with Natasha's sister, who, as usual, was already sitting in the car. Her name was Natalie, a reason people believed they were twins.

"Why did you drag her like that?" Natalie asked her father once he got in. His eyes met mine through the rear-view mirror, and he was met back with confusion.

Why did he drag me like that?

"The police found a dead body this morning," Mr Grey finally said.

"Oh my God," Natalie whispered while Natasha only swallowed. I did nothing.

"And you're assuming that's my fault? That I killed someone?" I questioned in confusion.

"The body was found by the lakeside. Right in the middle of the bridge beside the bushes,"

Both sisters turned to look at me then, knowing exactly what the location meant. Lakeside was where the curse dragged me to feed.

"All I take is animals, not humans,"

"Well, how about last night?" Natalie asked me.

"You threw up today and looked sicker than normal. Human blood does that to us," Natasha said with a frown, and Mr Grey turned to look at me on that.

I tried to recall the night, and while it was usually hard to remember, this particular one was a problem to recall. I remember crushing bones and the taste of meat, plus the smell of deer blood when I woke up. I remembered the feel of fur in my palms when I grabbed, but then why did I feel so nauseated? I still felt it.

"I tasted animal blood," I looked at them and said.

"You tasted, or you saw an animal that tasted? Which one," Mr Grey asked

"Do you remember?" Natalie asked, and with her question, I felt crowded like I was pushed to a corner.

The scrutiny was one thing, but to be blamed for every slight problem in town, all because you are different with issues, was exhausting. But then again, this problem wasn't slight like normal, and it didn't help that I wasn't sure which body I bit into. Animal or human. Honestly, I have always wished it was none.