Cry It Out

"Listen to me big brother, we all have heavy shit to carry and sometimes it takes a while to find a place to put it all down. You don't owe anyone an explanation for that. You just need to understand that we, your family, your four siblings will always be here for you no matter what. Even if you lost everything or performed treason." Lin Huiying's cheeks were wet with tears, her hands holding his.

She stood up and hugged Lin Biao who was finding it extremely difficult to hold back his tears now. She hugged him tightly and told him, "You can cry as much as you want. Crying is not a bad thing. It just means you are brave enough to face your feelings. It means letting it all go and starting new. You'll feel much better after crying and screaming. Do whatever you want, I'm standing right over here."

Hearing her, Lin Biao couldn't hold it any longer. He circled his hands around Lin Huiying's stomach, buried his face, and started crying.

Lin Huiying could feel her clothes getting wetting and his shoulders shaking. It feels very light when you have a shoulder to cry. 'It must have been a long time.'

The men are not taught to accept their feelings, to cry, to be weak, to be kind. And it has become the identity of the men to be aggressive, less emotional, and tough.

Male kindness is so alien to us we assume it's seduction, every time.

After crying for 12/15 minutes, Lin Biao stopped and just hugged her for a while. Then he changed the position and looked at the clear sky, "Tell me what I should do now?"

Lin Huiying was a little hesitant to speak what she wanted to say, "Big brother, do you not know what the problem is?"

Lin Biao had picked up art to excel in. Was it really what he wanted to do? Was he good at it? Was he improving his skills? Did he enjoy doing it? Was it his real passion?

Both were silent for a while. Both knew the underlying meaning behind the question. Lin Biao knew that his sister was intelligent enough to understand what was going on. But he didn't have the answer for it. He loosened his grip on her.

Lin Huiying came and took her seat next to him, "You are not stuck because you do not know the way out. You are stuck because you fear the way out. Scared of the loneliness it may bring. Scared of the familiarity it will force you to leave behind it. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are trying to avoid."

"If you can't do art, leave it. No one will judge you or blame you for it. It's ok if you can't do it. But if you want to continue, try to give it your all."

He gave a small smile and nodded at her, "If I really can't do it, then I'll leave it. I will be honest, I promise."

Lin Huiying turned her head and looked in her left direction, "How long do you guys plan on standing there? Come out!"

Lin Biao heard her and looked in the direction she was looking at and saw three people coming out of their hiding places.

Lin Huiying was a martial artist, she had known from the beginning about her siblings hiding and listening to their whole conversation. But she couldn't break the flow in between because it would have been difficult and awkward to have this conversation again. So, she let them be.

"Are we so unreliable? Do you not trust us?" Lin Fengmian sat next to Lin Biao and asked him seriously.

"Exactly, we're your brothers!" Lin Dan said while taking his seat next to Lin Huiying.

"Why couldn't you tell us?" Lin Jiang complained while sitting down.

Their eyes were red too. Looked like one or two had shed tears too.

"Enough! rather than asking why he didn't tell you guys, did you ever made him comfortable enough to share his deepest feelings? We should apologize to him for not being there for him. We couldn't even see that he was struggling behind that happy façade of his. What right, do we have to complain?" Lin Huiying reprimanded.

They realized their mistakes and timidly nodded.

"I'm sorry, I grew up with you. And I failed you." Lin Fengmian said with red eyes. He was the closest to Lin Biao among them. He felt terrible after listening to everything. Hearing his sister's words made him realize what exactly went wrong. He made no excuses and asked for forgiveness.

"Don't be silly you guys, I am sorry for not telling you this, and I don't know when it all started and how I could have stopped it." Lin Biao shook his head and uttered with a lump in his throat.